NiBir Story-My Hell My Heaven epilogue up - Page 31

I was very distressed, I really wanted to have a normal life which really seemed impossible. Kabir was no doubt a perfect husband who use to take care of my each and every wish but the sad part was that he was not complete. I really needed to talk to someone and thus a called vasu mom, she was the only person who knew everything and will also be able to guide me. When I called her she wished me cheerfully "hi Nisha how are you? And how is my son?" "maa" I could hardly speak. Hearing my voice she realised that something was wrong. You know kitty vasu maa by then had become like my real mother, and I share each and everything with her. "mom we fought" "why child" "mom I want to have a baby and I told this to kabir but he denied and later I realised that why he denied, mom I know he is scared but mom doesn't I deserve to be happy mom doesn't I" "Nisha u know na I told to the day I met you that it won't be easy child, I told you this." "I know mom but still" "Nisha give him some time and it's just two months to your marriage and as much as I know kabir he will fulfil all ur wishes. Just give him sometime and u know him na" "yes mom I know, bye mom." Hanging the call I turned around to see kabir standing behind me. He came towards me and cupped my face "you really want I baby Nisha" I nodded in yes. "can we go to the room and talk" . I hmmed. Reaching our room I sat on the bed while he kneeled in front of me and took my hands in his. "kabir u really don't want a baby". "I do Nisha who doesn't want to become a father but but I am scared...Nisha I never had a perfect father figure, I craved for a father's love all my life and I don't now what kind of father will I become." "kabir u will be the best father in the world" "but what will we tell when our baby asks about my weird behaviour hmm what will u tell our baby then" u know kitty that question made me numb I did not had the answer and what answer could I have for this. "I don't know" I told him truthfully and broke into tears. "I am sorry kabir I should not have wished this I am sorry " "eh here look here, there is nothing wrong in ur wish Nisha if something is wrong then it is me. Don't worry we will find out a solution hmm" I nodded. "kabir shall we talk to Dr Mathur abt it?" "he had already gone mad with you marrying me and with this i guess he will get admitted to some metal asylum" I laughed at this and kneeled down from the bed to hug him.

After coming back home we both got busy with our daily schedules and none talk of it, I thought that he forgot so it was better to let it go but it was something I wanted and kabir forgets it not possible. He took a appointment from the doc and we visited him and as kabir had said he was ogling at us as if we were some alien. It strictly said it was not at all a good idea and practically a child can never live with a person like kabir and it can be dangerous too. He was right no doubt but still we stayed by our decision. While existing the clinic he called me back "yes doctor" "Nisha u know it's my profession to read people and understand them knowing you I can tell you are impulsive and all your decisions are only based on today you never think of tomorrow. Even the marriage was one such decision isn't it. You never thought that u have to go through all this and now the child too. Nisha just know I thing there will come a time if not today, if not tomorrow, someday u have to choose between your child and kabir. Good luck for the future." I just nodded and came out, I could not see kabir there. I took my phone out to call him when saw his msg which read that he needed some lone time and will come soon.

I went back to home and sat on the sofa, doc's words continuously kept ringing in my ears that I have to choose one. My brain and stooped working and the only think working was my tears which never stopped. Hearing the door open, I wiped the tears, kabir came in with some food parcel, we had a quiet dinner, none spoke.

Later I the night when we were lying in our bedroom in each other's arm, he spoke what he had decided for us. "Nisha I have decided how we will go about this" "how" "Nisha as doc said it will not be safe having me around u all the time during pregnancy period, so I have decided that as soon as we will get the good news , I will call maa here and then u and maa will live separately, we will rent a good house for u both. Maa will take great care of u and I will come to meet u every day." "what u mean to say we will live separately??" I asked totally shocked, he was pushing himself away from me, i should have realised it then only but I didn't.

"ya I am saying that only" "but kabir I want you to be there with me during those days" "Nisha I shout at u nearly every day, beat u, hit u nearly every once in a week or two, this kind of atmosphere will not to be good for the baby nor for the excepting mother" "but" he silenced me keeping his finger on my lips, joining our heads he said " there is no other way Nisha, no other way" I nodded. He took me in his embrace and I hugged him tight. "kabir doc said that there will come a time when I have to choose between u and our baby" "hmm then ur choice will always be our baby not me" I looked at him baffled "stop looking at me like this, u put me before u, I agreed, u put your happiness before me, I agreed, u put your cries, howls before me I agreed, all our decisions were always taken by you I agreed to all u said, but this time I won't let you put me ahead of our baby, in fact I won't even give you this right, if I ever feel that I am a threat to our baby I will walk away from u and our baby forever" I hugged him and cried in his chest "I won't let you go ever kabir , I won't let you go kabir" "I know this Nisha and that's why I will walk away myself" he said calming me by drawing circles at my back.