NEW OS - Her first child

Vmeenu thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#1
Sorry if this hurts anyone's feeling.

NEW OS



Ram saw lakshman who was lost in his own thoughts and siya on the other end looking worried.

Ram with a strong mind to resolve everything, went to lakshman.

Lakshman stood up as he saw Ram nearing him,
L : bhaiyaa
R made him sit and sat beside him.

Ram sighed.
R : you and your bhabi are like two eyes of me.
I can't see you both like this, it upsets me even more...
Lakshman stopped him immediately
L : no, you please don't take this to your mind, I will...

R : Go, speak to your bhabi
L : but bhaiya, I don't want to Kindle her emotions again by going in front of her and talking about all that happened. She has asked me to leave her alone,

His voice was feeble when he said that

L : so I don't want to trouble her anymore
R : Did she say anything like you trouble her?
He questioned him.
L : no bhaiya, but I...

R : will you be the same when sumitra mata is upset on you?
Lakshman looks at Ram

R : how many times mata has scolded you for bullying Bharath?

L : many times...

R : what will you do when she is out of her mood?
L : I will convince her..

R : why dint you try to convince your bhabi?
When mata is angry, will you ever have a second thought of talking to her, thinking that she might get even more upset on talking further ?

Lakshman nodded the head in negative
R : then why are you not trying now?
He remained silent.

Ram hugged his brother with full of love

R : lakshman, go speak to your bhabi, you know how much she likes you?
You are here to serve your bhabi and bhaiya, I am here to protect you both but she is here to serve me and SAFEGUARD you. Her responsibility Is bigger when it comes to you than me.


Lakshman hugged his brother tight

R : go talk your mind out to her.

Ram smiled, lakshman took his permission and went to meet his bhabi

Sita was lost in thoughts

Lakshman : bhabi
She smiled
S : food will be ready within minutes Lakshman,
She said.

L : nahi bhabi...
He hesitated on how to start the talk

Sita looked at him,
S : lakshman, Wat happened? Are you OK? Any health problem,
she asked with care and concern as she saw his face devoid of any expressions, neither guilt nor worry.

She asked again..

S : lakshman? What happened?
L : nothing bhabi, I am alright.
S remained silent to let him open up, as she is sure that he is not alright.
L : bhabi, that was not intentional. I saw her trying to attack you and in a try of stopping that, I..
S : attacking back Is not defending lakshman,
L : but bhabi, how can I see someone hurting you.. I was

S : then why didn't your brother attack her? Do you think can he stand someone trying an attack on his wife?
Lakshman had no answer
S : she is a woman..
L : but what kind of woman is she bhabi? She was ready to kill you, to get bhaiya's love.
After all these happened, do you still think she don't deserve this bhabi
He questioned her

S : she might be any kind but we are not the same kind as her. Why do we want to get down our standards by insulting her?

Lakshman looked as if he didn't understand
S : I am not justifying her acts lakshman, she was wrong I accept. Your brother was all silent because she is a woman. He tried to make her realise her mistakes.
Disrespecting woman is wrong lakshman.
L : as she is an woman,can we let her do anything bhabi? We killed tadaka too, she was also a woman, didn't we punish her...

Sita smiled at his innocence..

S : Tadaka was powerful and troubled many. You both were needed to save many from her. I am sure raghunandhan would have definitely not decided to kill her at the first step.
She would have been given a chance.

Lakshman nodded.

S : that is not the same here lakshman. Surpanaka has been insulted. Lifelong she has to bear it.

After a pause

S : it is not the point whether she deserves it or not, why do we have to insult a woman?

Lakshman looked at her puzzled.

S : I know you were angry as she tried to attack your bhabi. But look at what has happened now, as your anger dominated just for few seconds.

Lakshman remained silent

S : now your bhabi wants a promise from you.. Will you?
L : whatever you say bhabi

S : promise me that you would think of the consequences before you act angrily.

Lakshman without any delay

L : I promise, hereafter I will control my anger and think before act.

S : getting angry is not bad lakshman, anger comes to those who are most sincere and the best. They get angry as they expect others too to be the same and that is not wrong.

I know That is why my devar gets angry always...
Lakshman smiles.
Sita smiles too...

L : you were upset because of my act, I am sorry for that bhabi... I won't repeat this again...

S : nahi lakshman, I wasn't worried for your act but for you...

Lakshman was confused

S : your concern for me made you do that, don't you think I am concerned for you?

From that day, my only prayer is, only I should be the prey for the consequences of all that happened that day.

Lakshman was shocked
L : never bhabi,, no... I will face them.. I can never allow you to...

S : you are like my child lakshman, I have promised mata that I will treat you as my child and guard you. Does any mother wish her child to suffer?

Lakshman eyes become wet.

Sita forwared few steps

S : I was thinking of how to make you realise your mistakes and decided that my silence would do

L : I couldn't take it bhabi, I was very worried for having been the reason of your worry and silence these two days

S : silence is more powerful lakshman, more than violence. That is why I chose that to teach you. Hope you have understood.
Lakshman agreed and smiled.

S : no regrets and no worries hereafter lakshman, I am preparing your fav food, comeback after taking bath, I will serve you the food hot.

L nodded

S : or else If you wish you can eat the delicious food prepared by your brother.
She kidded and looked at Ram who was standing there all the time, looking at the way how his dear wife is convincing his brother.

L laughed out loud and seeing him relaxed made her happy

L : nahi nahi bhabi, I want the food by world's the best cook . AT any cost we won't cook hereafter

He smiled.

Ram was relieved seeing his soul mate siya and life lakshman happy.

Lakshman ran and hugged ram feeling happy as if he won the world

Ram hugged him back with equal love and saw siya who saw him with full of love.


The end.


Just my train of thoughts, didn't like the way the devar bhabi relationship is shown in SKR. One or two heart to heart talks are much needed. So wrote this.

Sorry if this dint go well with anyone's feeling.

Thanks for READING.
Edited by Vmeenu - 9 years ago

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Vmeenu thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#2
To my Twitter friends,
I lost my phone few weeks back . High chances of the one who stole it, to use my account.
Tried deactivating it but it's getting reactivated again.
Please don't dm or tweet as it's not handled by me.
Tried creating new account but was not well.
Got free just yesterday.

Sorry, I miss you all.
Take care :)
deejagi thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 9 years ago
#3
Lovely OS. How I wish the Cvs show this maturity in Sita's tone. I know they will amend her words by including her concern for Lakshman made her lash out but can't forget her accusing tone.
Shivam... thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 9 years ago
#4
Very Nice Dear
I totally agree with Jaya , More than the dialogues , it is the nature with which sita speak those lines

If spoken the same think softly , in an understanding way , it was very much still acceptable , though I will be on team Lakshman on that one😆

Anyways , Great Job 👍🏼
Edited by Shivam... - 9 years ago
CutiepieAD thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#5
Beautiful OS Meenu👍🏼
Way of writing, way of presenting can totally change the dynamics of any situation.. I like ur version much more than wat we got in SKR..
I don't have complains regarding content of SKR, infact I liked the fact that they didn't show Ram passing the offer of Surpi to Laksh, IMO that version (though famous) was so not like a good elder brother, who knows how much his younger bro loves his wife, Urmila...

But just one dialogue didn't go well with me, that was Sita saying that she is ashamed of Laksh...

Otherwise like u have explained the difference btw Tarka nd Surpi, CVs shud hav explained in that way...

Why don't u take a Screenshot and tweet to Utkarsh sir, he can still incorporate this, if not Sita then through Ram they can make this point clear...




BTW humne bulaya aur aap chale aaye
Welcome to the forum🤗
Edited by aditi97 - 9 years ago
khosla03 thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 9 years ago
#6
Totally agree with @aditi 97... I liked the way they toned down sita's dialogues as well then promo which was quite extreme.. Yeah they can still include the scene justifying sita's worry and anger by comparison with tadaka
Shivam... thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 9 years ago
#7
@aditi
Completely agree with you , the same dialogues with a notch of toning down would have done wonders in that scene , as explained in this Os beautifully


Edited by Shivam... - 9 years ago
1087354 thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#8
This beautifully captured the mother-son relationship that Maa Sita and Lakshman had! Siya ke Ram is a good show, but they failed to capture this relationship in its true essence. Please write more!
Vmeenu thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#9
Thanks much for all the comments.
All these encourages a lot and Def urges me to write more.

Besides the comments I am very happy that you all too think that there is a need for enhancement and maturity in their relationship.

Hope the cvs take steps to repair the projection of their relationship.

Regarding tweeting this to the writer, I wish I could, but my account is not handled by me :( lost my phone :(
Want to show this to my frnds there too.

Will check what I can do.

Once again thanks a lot for such sweet words 😛
SenAnu thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#10
Really Loved The OS😊
I loved the way you portrayed each emotion beautifully and saw both Sita's emotional and somewhat controlling side... And ideal conversation after the Shurpi incident..
Please keep more of this coming..

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