Tu Jahan Main Wahan

Sp8699 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#1
😊 Hey guys this is my first ever story or OS in this forum my love for ASYA or KABHI had brought me here to write a story of my own... well my name is SHRUSHTI u can call me SP or Shrus so here goes the OS... It's starts when Asad goes to bring Zoya back to KV from SM... Asad : main zoya ko wapas le jaane aaya hoon... Badi Bi : no Asad beta u can't take Zoya back, she is now our daughter in law... Ayaan : no dadi I had promised bhaijaan that after Nikhat's nikaah zoya can go back... Badi Bi : but aayan nikaah koi mazaak nahi hai... Shirin : haa Ayaan beta jo bhi hua ho Zoya an hamari bahu air tumahari biwi hai air phir yeh bhi socho ki log kya kahenge hamaare parivaar ka toh mazaak ban jaayega... Ayaan : ammi mujhe samaj ki parwah nahi mujhe bas bhaijaan ki kushi we matlab hai... Gaffur : tumhe parwah ho yaa na ho par humein zaroor aise hi itne saalon se kamaayi hui izzat hum gawaah nahi sakte tumahare bewakoofiyon ki wajah se ... Razia : ji aap bilkul sahi keh raahen hai (she looks towards Asad) aur tumahari himmat kaise hui yaahan aanee ki... Asad : aap himmat ki baat na hi karen toh behtar ho ga air waise bhi mujhe aap jaise logon se baat karne ka koi shok nahi hai... Razia : hum jaise log se kya matlab hain tumahara... Asad : aap acche se jaanti hain kya matlab hai... (Asad to Zoya (who was silently crying till now) ... Asad : Zoya aap jaa kar apna saaman pack kar lijiye hum abhi yahan se ghar jaa rahen hai... Zoya (with teary eyes) ji... ... Jo dhoop nikli toh chaaya ban jaaonga... Jo ho tu akeli saaya ban jaaonga... Jo uljhan main ho man main behlaunga... (Zoya comes down with the bags)... ... Tum aa gaye ho toh jeena aaya hai... ... Khushiyon ka tumne yeh jaal bichaya hai... ... Khudko khoya yaa sab kuch paaya hai... Asad & Zoya left from their intertwining their hands... ... So guys it ends here nah, from here new journey of their life's begin... ... ... ... Tu Jahan one of my fav song this song was played in the show during Akram fiasco its from Salaam Namaste movie sung by Sonu Nigam and Kavita Krishamurthy... ... ... So guys kaisa laga yeah OS please comment and let me know ... till then keep loving ASYA ... KSG will be the only Asad in my stories well u can consider anyone also but for me it will always be KSG and only KSG...

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mochhug thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#2
Very sweet and I loved the dialogues.

Just a little suggestion: Please try to format it so the dialogues are on separate lines when someone new is talking, or when two people alternate lines. Makes it easier to read :)

But really liked it :)
Edited by mochhug - 9 years ago
anopama thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#3
Very nice
But next time put each dialect in a new line
muskaan17rocks thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#4
Beautiful dear
Loved reading it
But please just try to separate out the dialogues in different lines next time
Looking forward to read more from you😊
Sp8699 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#5
Yeah I will thanx for reading I had written it in another line don't know how it got messed up
mochhug thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: Sp8699

Yeah I will thanx for reading I had written it in another line don't know how it got messed up


IF tends to have random glitches. I'm sure if you Edit the post it'll change back :)

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