SAATHI RE THODA THEHER JAA
Saathi rey thoda thehar ja
Abhi raaste kuch badal se jaayenge
"Match Makers.com" "Dekh beta... Kaisa lag raha hai ye ladka?" "Daaktar hai... Haan!"
Ananya sat down on the last empty chair around the Monitor screen of the PC her father was surfing through, searching for a good alliance for his only daughter. Her mother Anita too was sitting there asking Ananya to see the profile of the prospective groom, along with Ananya's grandmother who was happy to disclose the profession of the guy.
Ananya, a non-practicing Psychologist and a professor by profession was a close 26 years old, and the family thought appropriate to now find her a husband since she didn't approach for one. Ananya bent towards the screen to have a look through the profile. Her father patted her head, and stood up to letting her have her time to go through the profile they had selected for her. The grandmother too waddled off behind her son, and by the time her mother started to make a move, Ananya had put her hand on her mother's arm stopping her from going anywhere. The mother smiled, but that smile couldn't mask the wince she tried so hard to hide...
"Maa... Why don't you agree to see a doctor when you have such pangs of pain? This is plainly ridiculous! How can one be so ignorant about their health?"
"Achha meri dadi-amma... I will see the doctor soon... But first you see this doctor and let me know."
Ananya nodded and looked back to the screen.
Name: Kabir Sharma
Age: 33 years
Occupation: Doctor (Oncologist)
.
.
And Ananya read all the details including his education, family, and things they were looking for in the prospective bride. It seemed satisfactory from the needs of both the ends. She nodded her agreement to her mother, and went off; she had to go off to her college, as she was getting late.
O saathi rey thoda thehar ja
Yeh paanv bhi ab sambhal se jaayenge
"Am I talking to Miss Ananya Kashyap?" a tad tired, but heavy baritone was heard on phone to Ananya. Ignoring the attractiveness in the voice she responded- "Yes! May I know who's talking?" "Hi! This is Dr. Kabir Sharma here."
Ananya had been collecting papers from her desk from the staff room to make a move towards home. Amidst work here between correcting examination papers and submitting the reports, it was late evening by the time she wrapped things up.
She dropped her purse and papers on the table, and moved towards the window of the room to have the solitude to talk to him...
"Uh! Hi... Dr.. Sharma."
He must have smiled at his end that she was unable to see, but when he spoke next, she could feel the ease from his side.
"Kabir is fine... Unh! By the way, I and our families had a meet this afternoon."
Ananya shook her head negatively as she spoke- "I have no idea... I had left for my college... Unh! I mean I am a professor here..."
"Yeah! I know. Saw your profile my parents had forwarded... Okay, I guess, I have burst the bubble then, I, mine and your parents met this afternoon, and they seem fine after meeting, and have proposed us to meet to decide on going further... Since my mother had been nagging me to ask you ever since I have returned from the hospital after that, and I had no idea you weren't home yet, or I would have called later..."
"It's fine... I mean it's ok. So, what do you say?"
"Unh! How about meeting tomorrow evening? I have an OPD Tomorrow, and shall be free after that. Venue you decide."
"That's fine Kabir. I'd let you know where..."
"Alright then... Good Night."
"Good Night!" Ananya had smiled off the phone, and resumed wrapping up her work.
Phir wohi barsaat hogi
Aur ashq saare dhul se jaayenge
Roshni din-raat hogi
Aur sab jharokhe khul se jaayenge
Ananya parked her car off, and climbed out of it... She was sure; her mother would just jump over her in enthusiasm, letting her know all the details of their afternoon meet. Her dadi wouldn't be anywhere behind... And within a span of a few minutes, the house would run into a chaos. She laughed at the jovial family she had.
Entering into the porch, she inserted her key into the door lock, and twisted the lock open. The lights were on, but there weren't any sparks of happiness into the lights. They don't look like this.
She looked around the hall, no one was around... Normally at this time, her grandmother would have been sitting on the sofa in the hall with her dinner plate watching draggy boring opera soap, commenting every two minutes on the bahus on television, and laughing loads with her own Bahu... But today, nothing seemed ok... It was an eerie silence penetrating into her ears... Worry clawing her mind; she rushed to her grandmother's room, to find her waddling along the room, with deep worry etched all over her face...
"Dadi??? Kya hua? Sab theek toh hai?"
"Meri bachhi..." the old lady had tears in her eyes... What was wrong with her? Ananya had been expecting a happy scenario, why was her grandma crying?
"Dadi... You are scaring me... What's wrong? Are you unwell?"
"Na meri bachhi... I am fine... Your mother... Go and see her, she seems in a lot of pain since evening."
Ananya's bag dropped out of her hands, never caring to pick it up, and she was running to her parents' room like her tail was on fire. Unmindful of her manners to knock at the door, she just pushed it open to find her father sitting beside her mother, caressing her head, and her mother's tear stricken face looked back at her daughter.
Ananya didn't sit on the chair next to her mother's bed that her father had just left to leave them alone to themselves in the room... She had heard from her dad as she entered, about the latest happenings. The pain her mother had been sensing from a few days that earlier felt like a needles pricking, wasn't just pain. The chest pain she felt turned horrendous when she sensed secretions from her breast. The excruciating pain bouts led to her father calling a lady doctor at home, examining her. The doctor had given painkillers for the night suggesting an immediate set of tests done the very morning...
Ananya hardened herself up, and asked her mother strictly- "How many times... Exactly how many times had I asked you to visit a doctor? But you...? You never listened... You kept waiting for this moment to come, when there'd be no other option but to rush to the doctor. Why are you stubborn maa?
Ananya's mother smiled a brave smile- "Arre kuch nahi hai... I will see it tomorrow... Jaao, have something to eat, and rest... You need to go to the college tomorrow."
Ananya shook her head, smiling in sarcasm- "Forget it!"
She came out of the room, and dialled to her HOD, informing her of the leave next day. She needed to put her mother's order of priorities straight... Otherwise, no way in the world would she take care of herself and seek a doctor.
Yaara tu hi toh bandagi hai
Yaara tu hi duaa
Yaara kaisi ye berukhi hai
Kyun judaa tu huaa
"Decided the venue?" Ananya's phone pinged with an incoming message from Kabir. Ananya had been walking the corridors of the Medical Centre where her mother was going through various medical tests, and Ananya had been waiting outside. She called back to Kabir, who picked up in two rings- "Hi Kabir! I am sorry, I said a yes to meet, but it seems my mother is sick; I've taken her to the hospital. If you don't mind, we'd meet sometime later?" "Oh! Absolutely."
Just then Ananya's mother came outside the room, and Ananya disconnected the call, while Kabir on the other hand inquired what happened to her mother, when he realised the call was disconnected.
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Kabir had just finished his OPD, and was planning to return home, since the Cancer Hospital had no other work for him right away; when the Junior Doctor knocked into his cabin...
"May I come in Sir?"
"Yes! Please come in Dr. Jogee"
The Junior Doctor apologetically forwarded a file in front of Kabir and spoke- "Sir, New case... Seems like an advanced stage... Need an immediate course of action for her... If you are free to see the case history, and make the list of action, so that the treatment can begin as soon as possible..."
Kabir had nodded his head, and asked to leave the file, and he would let him know. The JD had left, and Kabir opened the file to go through the history, when his phone buzzed with the reminder to meet Ananya. He sighed... He had forgotten to off the reminder. His thought went back to her. What must have happened to her mother? She seemed quite tensed.
Kabir's trance broke when a nurse knocked in- "Sir? Aapne Anita ji ki file padh li? Patient hai yahan. Agar aap dekhna chaahein. Waiting area mein baithi hain."
Kabir had nodded and told he would call once he had read the history. But his mind went back to the patient name... "Anita ji..." it sounded familiar to him... Being a doctor, hundreds of patient came in and out to him on daily basis, remembering and reading each name wasn't easy, nor would he pay attention. But he turned back to the cover of the file to look at the patient's details... "Anita KASHYAP... W/o Sudhir KASHYAP... Family: Daughter- Ananya KASHYAP..." The last name had rung the bells in his ears... "Gosh!" he stood up from his chair, and opened the file again, and quickly went through the history, and rushed out of his cabin, asking the gatekeeper where the patient was... He had rushed to the waiting area, where Anita ji, whom he had met yesterday in a better frame, was in a dishelved and crumbled saree. From the looks of it, she seemed to be knowing of the malignancy and was shattered by the news. Ananya's father stood beside his wife, with his hand on her shoulder, while the girl with them, whom he recognized to be Ananya from the photographs; looked steel framed... She didn't look like she cried like her parents, nor did she look shattered... She was plainly an unrecognised epitome of hard will, she so strongly held too, and was walking to lengths in front of the waiting chairs... Probably for the doctor to call them... In this case, they were waiting for him.
Kabir had put a firm hand on Mr. KASHYAP's shoulder, when he turned around, and tried hard to smile- "Dr. Kabir!"
Kabir's nod was barely visible, when he bent to Mrs. KASHYAP and put a gentle hand on her shoulder, very politely asking her to come along. Ananya had stopped her pacing the moment she had heard her father calling Dr. Kabir. He looked at her, and nodded her to come along. She walked on automaton, following her family and Kabir. He politely made the couple sit, while he pulled a stool for Ananya, and sat back to his chair...
It is easy to talk the course of action to complete strangers... But how to talk to people whom you are on a verge to get relations tangled. Any way he bagan- "Aunty, aapse kisi doctor ne kuch kaha?"
The lady's eyes brimmed at the mere mention. A fat tear escaped her eye, when Mr. KASHYAP spoke- " Tests ki reports aa gayi hain... Bataaya doctors ne ke ... Ke Cancer hai..."
Kabir merely nodded, he wanted to skip the wetness in the old man's voice, that he tried with others too, but he couldn't.. He looked up at Ananya. She hand held the hem of her kurta tightly in a fist. She was trying hard not to let anybody see her break down...
He turned to Sudhir KASHYAP and spoke- "Uncle, don't worry right away... Things are going to be fine... We will start with the treatment as soon as you all are ready to start with, that should be the earliest... Before that, I'd want Aunty to go through a few more tests..." He rang the bell to call the nurse, whom he asked to take Mr. And Mrs. Sharma to get the tests done, while he insisted Ananya to stay back, he needed to talk about a few things...
"Ananya, we will begin with Chemotherapy first. It is a slow process of injecting certain anti-cancer drugs into the patient's body intravenously... I mean through a drip in common language. It is going to take a few cycles at regular intervals of a few weeks... Basically to kill the cancer cells."
"How bad is it? I mean... the cancer..." Ananya asked looking directly at Kabir... He kept mum, continued looking at her face, searching for any broken points to accept the truth... Undamaged indifference is the strongest sign of the most broken person, even a slight sign of hurt, pain makes a person accept more strongly... Right now, Ananya seemed to be the former case to him, and he wasn't sure, if he could tell her the severity of her mother's illness...
"You can always tell me Kabir...!" but he continued to keep quiet, and kept observing her, when a tired laugh escaped her face- "We were supposed to be meeting at this time of this day to discuss about our life and future together... We indeed are doing that, but about my mother's life and future... I am sorry, I am being inappropriate..."
Kabir stood from his chair, and came and sat on a chair next to her... "Ananya, all those marriage alliance and meetings can always wait... Yes, I liked you, but the talks of marriage can be done later... But consider me as a friend at this moment and at least talk to me if not your parents... This rigidity and stiffness of indifference is going to hurt you too much psychologically and emotionally..."
"I thought being strong is a good thing..."
"Ananya, you yourself are a psychologist. I don't need to teach you the difference between strong and stiff. You'd be broken if you stay stiff... Talk to me..."
Ananya looked down, the redness on the fair face told him, she was on a verge, but she controlled it... "Would you mind if I talked later? I... I need some time... Alone..."
Kabir shook his head, and allowed her to leave. He didn't want to overwhelm her with a pushy comfort. It was fine by him, that there's at least a beginning to an outlet of emotions, doesn't matter if not in front of him.
Kehna tha aur kya kya mujhe
Neend kyun aa gayi phir tujhe
"Suniye ji... Why don't you talk to Ananya to bring forward the alliance with Kabir? She spends the entire day either at the college or taking care of me... When will she take care of herself? She should be settled... You talk to her na..." Anita was worried for her daughter while lying on the hospital bed, recovering from the previous cycle of the chemotherapy. Though she was holding on to great will power, yet the torturous course of treatment was beating her down somewhere...
Sudhir patted her forehead softly- "Main baat kaunga... Ab tum aaraam se so jaao... Humari beti bhi settle ho jaayegi waqt rehte hi..." Sudhir would have continued talking his heart out about the dreams they have seen for their daughter... But then hearing the even breaths of his wife, he realised, she is already asleep, tired from the harshness of the medical treatment, she has been going through... His tears came unabashed... What had they been planning, about their daughter's marriage and what not, and what turn had it taken... He felt extremely hurtful of the pains his wife was enduring... He wished the things to be right again... soon...
Saathi rey thoda sa thehar ja
Abhi mausamon ka badalna baaki hai
"Kaisi hain ab aap Aunty?" Kabir came especially to the Chemo ward to meet Anita. Checking her medical chart and reviewing her medicines... He had been supervising her Chemotherapy right in front of him, to avoid any mistake in the treatment, right from the beginning... As much as he could, he tried to prolong a painless life to her...
She had been lying in her room, when Kabir had come to meet her... She had smiled a tired curve of lips... She never felt good, but what to tell others... So she had learnt to smile every time anybody asked... She took her free hand towards him, and spoke- "Yahan baithoge Kabir beta kuch deir?"
Kabir pulled a stool next to her bed, and smiled- "Ji boliye Aunty."
"Beta, kya tumhe Ananya pasand nahi hai?"
"Aunty, Ananya bohot achhi ladki hai... Par ye sahi waqt nahi hai ye saari baatein karne ka... Pehle aap theek ho jaayein... Phir..."
"Ye... Tum dusro ko behlaana... Ye saari baatein kehke... Mujhe pata hai, it's never going to get fine... Kabir! Please beta..."
"MAA! Aap ye sab kya bakwaas karne lagti ho! You'd be absolutely fine... Hale and hearty... You got that?"
"Ananya... Bachhi meri... Consider that my last wish... I want you to get married... To whom so ever you think right... But married before I die..."
Ananya kept the vase of flowers she was arranging with a thud, and left the room in anger... Without Anita's saying Kabir knew, he had to follow her... Thus, he ran just behind her...
O saathi rey thoda thehar ja
Kuch door saath chalna baaki hai
Sitting on a seat in the hospital park, her eyes had opened the flood gates... In the blistering hot of the summers, none had decided to sit under the scorching sun, thus, was providing privacy to Ananya to wash away her tears...
Kabir sat beside her, and kept on watching her, until she went into a helpless situation of chocking while crying when he held on to her... And she quietly kept her head on his shoulder...
These months of rigorous treatment, Ananya had just one support to lean, apart from her father and grandmother was him... Truthful to his words, he had been a constant support of a friend apart from being the doctor to her mother...
He caressed her back softly when he spoke- "Ananya, you need to stop being harsh on her... She is going through such a rough patch of health... Tum bhi ghussa karogi toh kaise chalega..."
Ananya sat straight, and wiped her tears with the back of her hand- "Aur wo... Aaj-kal aisi hi bakwaas karti rehti hain... She too needs to stop being so harsh on me... How do I handle her non-sense...?"
"Unfortunately Ananya, all we have with us is that nonsense she does... If that too isn't there, what apart from memories shall you cling upon...?"
Ananya breathed out tiredly... She knew now... The other doctors had already told her mother's prognosis not being good... Her mother had already sensed it... And Ananya was so shattered, that the mere mention of death by her mother broke her into pieces... But what Kabir was saying, was true too...
"Toh what do I do Kabir to make her happy?"
"She wants you to get married..."
"I have heard this too many times... But it feels so bad to be thinking of marrying at this time Kabir..."
"Ananya, you need to stop thinking of others who don't matter, rather think of your mother, and your happiness..."
Ananya was in deep thoughts as she nodded, and Kabir continued- "Look Ananya, Honestly, I really like you... I admire the person you are... The strength and braveness you hold all through your mother's treatment... Almost standing as a rock support to everyone at home... Even my parents are happy with the alliance... Now if you would be ok, go ahead and say your yes to your mother... She would really be happy..."
"But... Kabir... I need to take care of my mother even after marriage..."
Kabir had smiled a derogatory smile at Ananya as he shook his head in dismay- "Itni samajhdaar ladki ho... But you turn so stupid sometimes..."
Ananya had narrowed her eyes in anger at him "What do you mean huh!"
"I mean Ananya... Do I look like, I will make you sit back at my home, asking to sweep the house while your mother needs you here?"
This time she laughed, and he joined her too...
Phir unhi raaston pe
Tere mere kadmon ka milna baaki hai
Anita threw another pinch of flower petals towards the mandap with her listless hands, as much as the retarded energy of her body would permit... Her only daughter was walking along with Kabir around the holy fire taking pheras...
She remembered the day when Ananya had returned with Kabir, and had accepted the proposal to marry Kabir... Anita had been so happy... She ate a good amount of dinner that night, in the enthusiasm of her daughter finally marrying...
Though Ananya had retorted, but for the happiness of her mother, she had agreed on to a lavish full-fledged wedding, with each ceremony taking place... Though she arranged enough so that her mother wouldn't tire herself out...
Anita came back to the present with a round of hooting... Kabir had picked up a pinch of sindoor on the coin, and was putting it into Ananya's parting... And within a moment, the strings of gold and black beads tied around Ananya's neck... Ananya had her eyes closed, her head bowed low, and silent tears seeped out of them, while the Pandit announce them husband and wife, and asked them to take blessing from elders... While Kabir was beginning to stand up, Ananya still sat in the same position... This time sobs escaping her mouth... He sat back down along with her... Before he could console, Kabir's mother came forward, and picked her up, and pulled her in a huge hug... Consoling her... Ananya bent low, and touched her feet later on, before touching the other elder's feet... She came last to her mother, who sat on a chair... Ananya sat down on the floor before her mother, and touched her feet, Kabir did the same... Ananya hugged her mother's knees, while Anita expressed her extreme happiness seeing her daughter finally settled...
"Tujhe khush dekhungi... Mujhe chain apne aap aa jaayega... Now even if I am not here, I would be at peace, My daughter is happy and is in safe hands..."
Ananya was too overwhelmed, she just silently shook, hiding her face in her mother's lap, crying a soundless cry... What a moment of grief, the girls cried leaving their parents... Here she wasn't sure how to leave her mother quite literally...
Dard mein, ranjishon mein
Sang bujhna aur jalna baaki hai
Parting is a beginning to the new journey of meeting... It was time for Ananya's bidaai, that she painfully went through, promising to come and meet them tomorrow...
She sat on the back seat along with Kabir, driven by a driver... She just had kept her head against Kabir's shoulder and the back of the seat to travel the small distance to her new home...
Understanding Ananya's plight, her in-laws kept the ceremonies back home to bare-necessary ones, and had sent them to their room as soon as they were done...
Ananya quietly sat by the plush carpet in one corner of the room, where Kabir had beautifully converted into the family corner... Pictures of Ananya's family and Kabir's were beautifully placed there... Ananya had changed into a night suit, while Kabir was still in the bath... That gave her the me-time to sit quietly, and watch her mother's picture, from back then, when she wasn't this lean, and sick...
Tears formed into her eyes again... Why had her mother so ignorant about her health...? No matter how old you grow, you never cease to look upon your parents at each step of the way... How does her mother think, that marrying me off would be the end of her looking upon her mother every time... "Who would walk into her room with a cup of coffee, while she would madly dive into the bundles of exam papers correcting them??? Who would she go and put her head into the lap, when she would be the deadest tired??? Who would she get angry at who doesn't listen to her??? Why maa... OH WHY???"
Ananya had covered her face in her palms resting upon her pulled up knees, sobbing her pain out, when she felt his soft yet firm arms around her, pulling her in an extremely comforting hug, she had experienced for the first time... There was such sense of comforting vibes in them, that her sobs descended the moment he took her to him...
"I know Ananya... It's impossible to replace your own mother... Yet you'd always have my mother, who's now yours too... You can always look up to her... You now have two sets of parents... You have me now... We'd be there with you all the way through... And that's my promise"
Ananya kept silent in his arms, hearing him comforting her. He continued- " And Ananya, why have you started believing, everything is over? Considered your mother is sick, but she's there... You can spend your entire day with her... Make memories with her, cherish them... Make the best out of the little lord has provided you... Just don't cry like this... It is breaking me apart too..."
Ananya sighed and nodded, resting her head against his chest...
Yaara tu hi toh bandagi hai
Yaara tu hi duaa
Yaara kaisi ye berukhi hai
Kyun judaa tu huaa
A month later, Ananya sat on the stool by her mother's bed in the hospital. After her marriage, she had stopped reacting to medicines, and doctors had slowly left her to sedating anti-cancer and painkilling drugs, instead of a rigorous chemotherapy... Now a month later, her mother slept more that she woke up...
Knowing the lesser of the time left, Ananya had taken a sabbatical of an undecided period, and spent every moment she could with her sleeping mother... That was the least she could do...
The times of scarcity brings you closer' Ananya had heard so, but she felt it now... Her grandmother, and her father were being each other's constant source of support, lending it to her, while Kabir and his family were there with her at all highs and lows of the tough times... Kabir made sure, he spent almost all his free time with Anita and Ananya...
Many a times, post visiting hours Ananya would quietly creep into Kabir's lap, hiding her face in his neck, and doze off more unknowingly... Kabir had tried best to not have any emergencies at those times of the night... Though he couldn't ward them off all the while, and Ananya would either wake up all night, or crumbled into the carpet holding her mother's picture...
Another such night, Ananya slept into Kabir's lap, when his phone buzzed... The doctor on duty into Anita's room had called... Though the very first ring had rung alarming bells into his ears, yet he quietly heard him say...
Ananya too woke up with the bells... She didn't need any motivation to move into action, neither did she ask what the call was for... She slipped into the first salwaar-kameez that came into her hand, and she stood ready... To meet her mother... One last time...
Haan tere aur mere darmiyaan
Ab bhi baki hai ik daastaan...
Ananya walked down the banks of river Ganga along with her father, and emptied the contents of the earthen pot... I ashes sailed through the streaming water, and Ananya could feel her mother smile in her imagination... She finally smiled back to her mother... Wherever she was... She must be free from the excruciating pains and endless medications... Happy and relieved...
She returned back to the shore, and walked on the sands where Kabir on one hand held her by her shoulders, and on the other hand her baba, who though weak, but was strong enough to keep alive his wife's memories forever... Bodies die, souls and memories don't... And their love was enough for him to sail through the rest of his life with his old mother...
"Achha Dr. Kabir... Hum... Main aur Ananya ki Daadi chalte hain... Khayaal rakhiyega!" Sudhir Sharma had joined his hands in a Namaste, when Kabir held them- "Papa, aap bhi humare saath chaliye na.. Yu ghar pe akele..."
"Nahi beta... Ananya ki mummy hum sab ki yaadon mein hain, hum sab ki yaadon mein rahengi... Par ab aap dono ko nayi shuruwaat karni hain... This is what she had wanted all along... You both live, love, and stay happily together... That's all we all want.."
Ananya hugged her father and grandmother once, and walked back to their destination in her husband's arms... After all that was all her mother wanted... To make herself feel happy, safe, and loved... And that she is with the man they chose for her...
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