Abhigya FF: WOH HUMSAFAR THA last ch pg 76dt 9.4.16 - Page 53

Chapter 32

She gulped as her throat went dry and glanced at his stiff back that was facing her. She recalled how badly and brutally she had crushed his heart and the feelings that resided in that heart...only for her. He was so tormented that now he didn't to wish to see and talk to her, tears welled up in her eyes. He was the only one in this whole world who loved her and she had broken him down. She stood up and walked behind him, he heard her footsteps on dry leaves, she was standing right behind him but he didn't turn. She gazed at his back briefly before slowly sliding her arms under his underarms and tightly clasped his shoulders from behind. Her face buried into his back and tears streamed down her cheeks through closed eyes, wetting his shirt. He creased his face on hearing her soft sobs. She leaned against him and tugged the lapels of his shirt in her curled fingers. He pressed his lips hard and squeezed his eyes shut.

" I love you ...i love you so much." There she, said it all, bared her heart and soul to him.

He looked over his shoulder and could partially see her pain stricken face. He pursed his lips in a firm line and curled his fingers as they dug into his palms. Her touch was melting his heart and her tears were bringing down the weak invisible wall they'd built between themselves. His heart pounded loudly underneath her palm as her confession resounded in his ears. He yanked his head back for the second time in the day and gave out an audible sigh. They both were waging a losing battle. His self control was slipping with every tear drop slipping from her eyes.

Defeated, he shook his head and turned around enveloping his arms around her, pressing her rocking body against his hard chest. He could no longer contain his emotions, he loved her madly, deeply. The warmth of his body soaking hers, making her heart leap as she felt an overwhelming sensation come over her. She hugged him tighter, reaching her hands around his shoulders and leaning her face against his chest. Clinging to each other they stood embracing the other for a long, long time.

He pulled back slightly, framed her face in his lean hands, slid his fingers in her hair and pressed his forehead against hers. They both loved each other and couldn't spend a moment away, then why this unwanted distance between them that was killing them? Why all this time she was curbing her emotions and pushing him away? Why all this time she was adamant on making him believe that she didn't want him when the truth was exactly the opposite?

" then why damn it ? why?" he whispered near her lips, his eyes still shut and face still creased in pain. His words ripped through her heart and fresh tears streamed down her cheeks.

" because this is right ." She replied softly, no matter how much their hearts revolted but this was right...they couldn't be together. He moved back and opened his eyes, his intense gaze piercing through her.

" this love will destroy everything ." She said while pressing his hands that were holding her face. Instead of bringing in happiness, their love would cast a dark shadow on their lives and on other's who were connected to them.

His hands left her face and gripped her shoulders," for once don't we deserve to be happy ?" they both had gone through hell, their so called and namesake relationships never gave them joy, they were living but a lifeless and meaningless life until they met each other, until love happened to them. Why were they constantly supposed to think about others, couldn't they for once think about themselves?

She bit her lower lip and gazed back at him as her heart swelled with love for him. Did this what happen when you were truly in love? Did you stop listening to reason and push forth regardless of the outcome?

" tell me , by hurting others can you be happy ?" he knitted his brows as she softly asked him.

" have you ever thought about di? what's her fault in all this ?" A man like him who for a long time couldn't forgive himself for spending a night with another woman even though he was coaxed to do so, could he now spend the rest of his life with someone other than his wife and still remain guilt ridden? As far as she knew him, he wouldn't be able to live in peace if he followed his heart.

His brows ironed out on hearing shalini's name. His eyes scattered the ground. In all these years of their marriage, he wanted to love his wife but could never bring himself to do that. They were poles apart (but he didn't blame her for that) and could never succeed in eliminating this distance. He could possibly write a book on why their marriage failed...but as pragya pointed out, would it be fair to shalini? His wife did things her own way, often her means were not acceptable to him but still somewhere she did them for him.

He looked up once again, in front of him stood the woman who was not related to him but he wanted to be with her and back home there was a woman waiting for him, who was his life partner but he didn't want to be with her. To have one, he had to abandon the other. His happiness would be the reason behind her grief. He dropped his hands helplessly and ran them through his hair. Could he brighten his life by ruining someone else's? could he be that selfish?

" and people of ratnagiri, what about them ? they look up to you , they worship you. Would you like to fall in their eyes?" he turned his neck and looked at her sharply, frustration and anger beginning to rise in his eyes.

" I don't care what people think of me. And trust me pragya, I'm not ashamed to admit before them that I love you ... that you're carrying my child!" He was an ordinary man and never wished to become their God.

pragya smiled inwardly, today he didn't care as their love was overpowering his senses but tomorrow? He would!

Taking a step back, creating a visible distance between them she said," we were destined to love . but perhaps not destined to be together "

" di is your destiny not me."

What the hell was wrong with her, how could she even think that he could possibly go back to shalini. He flared his nostrils, moved a step forward, closed the gap between them, gripped her arm and replied through clenched jaws," if you think that by moving away from me you can push me toward shalini then you're wrong . I don't love her and will never will." Furious with her, he jerked her arm and turned his neck away, maybe he couldn't force her to be with him but even she couldn't force him to be with shalini. He had given away his heart to her and now he had nothing to offer shalini. His soul was marked by her and now nobody else could take her place. He might not snap ties with shalini and probably remain stuck in this marriage forever without complaining but at the same time he wouldn't start a fresh, he wouldn't love someone else all over again because he simply...couldn't, it was beyond him!

He wasn't sure as to what he would actually do when the day to part ways would arrive but one thing he was damn sure of, that he wouldn't go back to shalini.

pragya didn't know whether to be happy seeing that someone loved her so deeply and immensely or be sad seeing the one who she loved, was hell bent on leading a miserable life without her.

Raising her hand she cupped his face and forced him to look at her, what she saw shattered her. There were tears of defeat and despair floating in his eyes. She parted her trembling lips to speak but before words could escape her lips he threw his arms around her. Instantly the two of them blended together into a single figure as they held on to each other, trying to find someway to hold on to this moment forever.

His heart was beating slowly and peacefully as she relaxed him. He tucked her head under his chin and closed his eyes, pushing back the unwanted dampness in them. Moonlight shone onto them as they stayed wrapped in their arms with their unfulfilled dreams entwined together.

They would have stayed like that for as long as possible but suddenly both of them felt some movement between them. In an attempt to just hold on to one another they were absent mindedly pressing their child between them who now started kicking the walls around itself. Slightly embarrassed abhi dropped his gaze and moved back while pragya found color rising to her cheeks.

" he must be hungry ." He suggested.

pragya nodded her head in agreement and he looked around in the dark jungle to find something to eat. Just then his gaze moved to the tree they were standing underneath, it was a mango tree and he very well knew how much she loved mangoes. He glanced at the mangoes hanging above and then his gaze came down to her face and he raised his brow. She shrugged her shoulders, right now the baby could have anything. He picked up a stone and aimed at ripe mangoes, the raw ones would not be good for her. The stone went high up but failed to bring down anything. He picked up another stone, shut his left eye and concentrated hard before hurling up. Sadly the result was the same. Getting impatient he took out his gun to shoot at mangoes. He was about to pull the trigger when a stone came from behind and brought down two mangoes. Looking back he found pragya tossing another stone in her hand. He had seen her climbing the tree but didn't know that she could aim so well too.

" there's no need to take out a gun for such a small thing ." She teased him and with another throw one more mango fell on the ground. He smiled and gave her an appreciative look. With her there was never a dull moment, somehow or the other she always managed to spread a smile on his face.

With her life was livable.

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Shalini dialed his number one more time, she threw the cell phone on the couch, why was it coming not reachable? He had gone out several times for similar encounter but she didn't worry. Blood and gun shots were a part of this profession and that didn't scare her. However this time she was worried, in a fit of rage he'd gone to Raj's den all alone. Everything was going smoothly until this raj jumped in from nowhere. She cursed him under her breath, because of him all her plans had taken a jolt, even her husband was blaming her for all this. She was so close to fulfilling her dreams until this fiasco happened. Only God knew what would follow next. As far as she was concerned she couldn't bear to see her dreams bite the dust. She hoped both pragya and the baby were doing well. Letting out an exasperated sigh she flopped on the couch.

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The soft autumn breeze ruffled their hair as they lay on dry fallen leaves. Abhi rested his locked palms under his head and gazed at the star studded sky above. His dark pools were busy searching something frantically and failed to notice her gaze on him. She followed his gaze and asked softly," looking up for something ?" without taking his eyes off the sky he replied," shooting star." She furrowed her brows in amusement, why was he trying to spot a shooting star, he never believed in all these things instead found them childish, then why tonight?

"why?"

" tonight I desire to wish something .." he turned to glance at her and continued," who knows my wish might get fulfilled ."

Pressing her lips she looked at him with longingness in her eyes, how strongly she too wanted to be with him.

" has your wish ever come true ?" he asked her abruptly. She blinked her eyes slowly, yes she got what she wished, not exactly the way she'd wanted.

So all this was not completely a myth. He turned his head and continued to spot a shooting star. He gazed and gazed till his eyes became heavy and his lashes dropped. Unaware that somewhere in the sky a bright streak of light illuminated it for a brief second.

He saw pragya, standing on a cliff, lifting her hand to reach out to him but at the same time some unknown faces were pushing her back. There was pain and helplessness splashed across her face. He raised his hand to grab her, rescue her but it was too late. She was pushed off from the edge of the cliff.

" PRAGYA." He screamed and woke up. His breathing was ragged and beads of sweat formed on his forehead. Hearing his shriek, Pragya too sat up and pressed his shoulder worriedly.

" sahab..what happened ?"

He turned to look at her, his eyes searched her face as his forehead wrinkled when he parted his lips to speak," I thought ..i lost you ." Her face contorted in anguish, why was this happening to them? Why couldn't they be together? Why was destiny playing this cruel game with them?

She gulped the lump formed inside her throat and tenderly held his hand.

" I'm here ..with you ." She assured him. For now she was with him but for how long, that even she didn't know. He entwined his fingers with hers and lay back again.

He glanced down at their joined hands, he was nothing without her and couldn't imagine his life if she wasn't by her side. This night would end soon and then they would have to go back to the world where they couldn't be together. He shuddered at the thought of her leaving him. If she left him, he found himself going back to his dark old shell where no one was allowed to enter. He sighed deeply, No, he wouldn't let her go off, he didn't know he would do this but he would.

She turned her head and glanced at him, his eyes were shut. Her world started and ended on him. Her heart belonged to him and her mind was occupied with only his thoughts. There was not a single moment when she didn't think about him. Even though in these past nine months they hardly spent time together but he was always in her heart and mind and this was how it would be in the future as well. A single night spent with him, slowly and steadily transformed her completely. He tingled emotions which she had buried deep within her. His love changed a self centered, money minded pragya into a sensitive and caring mother. The innocent and vulnerable pragya that loved to dream, started breathing again because of him. He brought the old pragya back in her life and now she didn't wish to let go. She didn't wish to let go off him and their love. She tightened her grip around his hand as though that would stop the clock from ticking, as though her firm hold would not let her separate from him.

He sensed her anxiety and rolled over to her side. His intense gaze was boring into hers. He wished he could somehow dispel this fear of losing him that shadowed her face. Today he was living only because of and for her. She was the one who gave him a new life, a reason to live and someone to love. And today she was losing hope. He brought their entwined to his lips and kissed her fingers. They would be like this...together...forever. She brought her hand up along with the end of her sari to wipe the drops of sweat on his forehead. He blinked his eyes slowly and gave himself to her soft touch. The end of the sari slipped from her hand as it came down his face and her palm rested gently against the side of his face, letting him lean his head slightly into her hand.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she wondered, would she ever get another chance to be this close to him, to touch him, to love him? Probably, not. She moved her hand down to her baby bump. Eventually they may not end up together but a part of both of them would still remain in this world. His eyes travelled down to her hand, he covered it with his. She and his baby were the best things that happened to him.

He saw moonlight reflected off her perfectly sculpted face. And that seemed the only light illuminating the place. A tear drop trickled from her eye, the drop so clear so radiant yet full of darkness and sadness. He brushed it with his thumb and leaned over to press his lips against her temple. Rolling on his back he pulled her over as she rested her face against his shoulder and closed her exhausted eyes when his arms came around to hold her firmly.

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Abhi squinted his eyes as the sun rose over the horizon and awoke the jungle slowly . Soon he could hear morning birds chirp with all their heart. He looked down, she was still asleep on his shoulder and in his arms. A smile tugged the corners of his lips. How much he would have loved to wake up like this every morning to this beautiful sight. Holding on to her, he took a long deep and slow sigh.

Sometime later she slowly stirred in his arms. She felt warm and secure. Opening her drowsy eyes she took in to her surroundings. She lifted her head and found his soft gaze caressing her. A deep crimson color decorated her cheeks. Not meeting his eyes, she sat up and looked around. The night was over and it was time to go back to where they belonged. The realization pricked her heart.

She lifted her lashes and saw his hand held out to her. Clasping it she too stood up on her feet like him.

"ready to go back ?" he whispered. She nodded her lowered head. He held her small and soft hand in his big and hard one as they walked down the jungle. After staggering for a while he finally spotted his jeep. Reluctantly they both got into it and started driving back. Similar thoughts were running in their minds. Both knew exactly what the other was feeling and going through. Words were no more exchanged as silence spread through their journey.

An hour later they entered the familiar territory of Mahabaleshwar. Gazing around her eyes fell on that breathtaking waterfall, the lake where he'd rowed the boat for her. A fleeting smile touched her lips as cherished and priceless memories flooded her mind. While driving down the streets he too remembered the crowded roads where they had strolled down. A sense of peace and calmness ran through his body. Those moments were special and would always hold his heart captive.

He pulled up at the small tea stall. It was early in the morning so the place wasn't crowded at hall. He motioned pragya to get down and take a seat. He used the telephone at the stall to call up shalini.

" abhi." Her voice was agitated.

" are you alright ? And pragya, how's she..where are you .." she was shooting one question after the other without giving him an opportunity to answer any.

" we both are fine ." He interrupted and then added," and we'll be home soon." His two sentences , calmed her totally.

"okay ?"

" yeah ." She replied, with that he put the phone down and headed back to pragya.

The young boy who had attended them last time came over and while cleaning the table repeated what they had ordered when they had come before. pragya was impressed by his smartness and sharp mind. She then shifted his gaze on him, he was sitting right across her. Lines of worry etched his forehead. She wished she could somehow erase those lines.

"sahab." She called out breaking his terrain of thoughts. The plate of snacks before him was getting cold. He didn't even notice when the boy came and put it on the table, he was so engrossed in his thoughts. She looked at him expectantly to start having but he simply shook his head, he wasn't hungry. Rolling her eyes she wondered when would he start eating properly. She picked up a pakoda and brought it close to his mouth. He looked at her with softened eyes then slowly opened his mouth and had a bite. She smiled back and gazed at him with warmth filled eyes. She lifted her finger and brushed something that was stuck at the corner of his lips.

He thought so much had changed in these months. They started out as strangers who crossed each others paths just to bring a new life in this world, after which they were supposed to drift apart, move back to their respective lives and leave everything behind. But it didn't turn out as they had thought and planned. Instead of moving away they only came closer. After sharing a night together now they wanted to share a life together.

The bells ringing from the nearby temple triggered something inside him and he stood up at once grabbing her hand.

"come with me." He ordered and drove to the nearby shiv temple. She gazed at him in confusion as for the second time in the day he offered her his hand, why had he brought her here? She blinked her doe eyes and slowly stepped out of the jeep, still a little unsure, this was the same place where yesterday she was abducted. He tugged her hand, drawing her to climb up the stairs to the temple, she pressed his hand to stop him and said," no i can't ."

" I don't know why you stop yourself from coming here." her eyes scattered the ground, there was something within her that always prevented her from visiting the temple.

"because in my eyes you're pure and beautiful . what happened in your past failed to taint you."

She lifted her lashes in surprise, how did he know that she didn't consider herself worthy enough to step into any such sacred place. Since childhood she considered God as her friend and after her mother died He was her sole caretaker. As much as she blamed Him for her miseries, a part of her always wanted to talk to Him but at the same time she felt she was no longer pure enough to be close to Him. She wanted to be with Him but couldn't and that somewhere pricked her a lot. But today his words amazed her, according to him, she had no reason to be ashamed of and blame herself for her past life.

He held both her hands and said," everyone makes mistakes ..if that night as a husband I committed a mistake ...then I'm glad I committed it with you ." The sincerity in his eyes touched her soul.

" I'm oblivious to what the future holds for us but let me tell you , every single moment spent with you is close to my heart ."

She pressed her lips and nodded her head in agreement, true, their future together was uncertain, it was more like a dream but the moments they shared were real and memorable for them.

This time when he pulled her hand, she didn't hesitate and slowly began climbing the stairs, keeping one hand on her baby bump. She lifted her hand to ring the bell and felt his fingers brush against hers. She smiled and closed her eyes after bowing her head and folding her hands. like any other young girl she too dreamed of getting love, pure and unconditional, she dreamed of her prince charming, who would one day come and sweep her off her feet. She smiled inwardly, of course nothing like that ever happened, dreams seldom came true. And after getting married and then later on entering the world of prostitution her eyes stopped dreaming. There was no place for desires and dreams. There was no hope to find love.

But she did.

She opened her eyes and looked at him from the corner of her eye. Their love was different and unconventional yet it was...love. She moved her eyes to the idol of lord Shiva, He did grant her wish, certainly not the way she had expected but still He did give her chance to experience this beautiful emotion.

Anhi had everything that she ever wanted in a man, yet he was not her man. The truth always twisted her heart, yet today she was thankful, if not for a life time then at least for some time she had someone in her life who accepted and loved her just the way she desired. She kneeled down and touched her forehead against His feet, the love that He blessed her with was unattainable and painful, yet she was glad that at least it knocked at her heart.

Standing on her feet she turned her neck, abhi wasn't there, all of a sudden where did he go? Her eyes wandered around until they fell on him. Ever so coolly and casually he was walking towards her.

" you scared me..you left me alone ..where did you go." He pressed his forefinger against his lips motioning her to stop blabbering and worrying unnecessarily. From his waist pocket he took out some green glass bangles. She furrowed her brows when he took her hands and pushed those bangles through them.

" that night a lifeless relation died giving birth to a new beautiful one."

Her eyes became teary as she remembered that night when in rage he had broken her bangles. He was so furious and wounded that he couldn't see beyond his own suffering. But when he ended up hurting her then he realized what he was doing.

According to him that night a lot of things changed, his relationship with shalini probably breathed its last breath, it died somewhere only to give birth to a new life and relationship. What he lost was important but what he gained was priceless. She touched the bangles with her fingers and smiled through her tears when they tinkled. He too smiled when he noticed something on her face. There was a pinch of vermillion on her forehead, quite close to her parting. It was indeed His will that they met and fell in love. And now if He wanted then they would even end up being together.

"let's go." She blinked her eyes in response.

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When the door bell rang, laxmi opened the door and squealed," pragya" , abhi walked in leaving pragya behind letting her meet the housekeeper. Hearing laxmi, shalini too came out of the room, she was already relieved after hearing from him and now seeing him in front of her relaxed her further. She smiled as her eyes searched for pragya, who a moment later walked behind him. She heaved a sigh of relief, thankfully pragya looked fine. However her smile faded slowly as her gaze fell on pragya's forehead. She narrowed her eyes and said," you have something on your forehead ..wipe it off." He already knew what she was pointing out but pragya was confused. She raised her hand, touched her forehead and her eyes turned wide on noticing the vermillion on her fingers. Feeling a bit embarrassed she replied softly while wiping it off," in the temple , maybe by mistake it dropped on my head."

Shalini crossed her arms before her chest and nodded in agreement, yes the vermillion could have landed on her forehead only by mistake! Her face creased further when she saw new glass bangles tinkling in pragya's hands, what was happening ?

" go inside and rest." Shalini said dryly.

pragya as asked moved to go into her room when abhi announced from behind," after that pack up your bags ..we all are going back to ratnagiri."

pragya turned to look at him with a shocked expression. On their way back, he didn't mention even once that they would be returning to MM. She glanced at shalini, whose jaw had dropped and couldn't believe what he had said. She took a minute to compose herself, like always he was overreacting and she was sure she would succeed in changing his mind.

Without caring to explain himself to both the ladies he approached the bedroom to fresh n up. Shalini followed him at once.

" abhi I think there's no need for this." She tried to keep her tone soft and sweet. He smirked inwardly, he knew this was coming, but today he wouldn't listen to her. Turning around he replied sternly," this time I'm not giving you a choice. I've decided and that's final." Leaving them here all alone was a huge blunder on his part and now he would rectify it. shalini shook her head slightly and said," but in pragya's current state , how can we take her back with us? What will everyone back home say?" it surprised her to see him behaving in such an irresponsible manner, did he forget that the thing that they were hiding for months would come out in the open?

He spoke through gritted teeth," do you really think that scares me? What I do in my personal life that's none of their bloody business. And I can accept before anyone and everyone that pragya is pregnant with my child. You very well know that I was never keen on hiding the truth."

Shalini felt like slapping her head, why was convincing him always such a difficult task? And what was the need to tell anybody the truth when it could be kept under wraps? Just a few more days and then everything would be fine. She sighed deeply and stepped forward.

" try to understand pragya's due date is very close, once the baby is born she goes her way and we happily return to ratnagiri."

His eyes blazed in anger, was she so selfish that she couldn't see what her plans had turned into? just sometime back he had managed to rescue pragya and his child from the clutches of raj, was he such a big jerk to endanger their lives once again?

" yesterday pragya was about to lose her life because of your stupidity and my carelessness. i can't afford to leave you all here alone . do you understand that ?" his voice was now getting louder as anger raced through his veins.

How dare he call her stupid and that too for that pragya! In their world, life was always at a risk, it didn't matter whether they were in ratnagiri or not. Things were always dangerous for them. Moreover she trusted his capabilities blindly, she knew he wouldn't let anybody harm his family. Trying to gulp down her anger, she pressed his shoulder lightly and assured him," I have full faith in you..i know you won't let anybody hurt our baby ." He jerked his shoulder and scrunched his nose, even now she was only worried about the child and not the one who was bearing it.

" and what about pragya?" he sneered. His coldness toward her and constant chanting of pragya's name was now getting on to her nerves, why was he thinking about pragya, when he should have been worrying only about his wife and his child.

"don't forget abhi she's being paid for this and that too quite handsomely ."

He couldn't believe that anybody could be so self centered, as it is pragya's pregnancy was complicated, if she wished she could have terminated it but she didn't do that so that they could be parents . If that wasn't enough now his wife was trading pragya's life for ten lacs so that her lie didn't come into public, so that nobody pointed fingers at her and her respect remained intact. He couldn't bear to see her face that was not at all regretful," pragya is being paid to carry the child and not safeguard your shallow self esteem . and now shalini you're beginning to disgust me so just keep your mouth shut. "

Shalini was shocked, he was comparing her with pragya, he didn't care a damn about his own wife instead was hell worried for an outsider. His voice was only getting louder. She walked up to the door and saw pragya standing a litter far away at the dining table, glaring at her she thought, she must be enjoying hearing husband and wife fight. She slammed the door shut, there was no point in creating a scene but she was furious with him and asked firmly," now I disgust you and what does that pragya do to you? Tell me? " His back stiffened and he curled his fingers in a fist attempting to control is rising temper. He didn't turn around to reply, arguing with her was futile, she hardly ever understood him. For her only money and power mattered.

His unnecessary concern over pragya was annoying her to no extent and on top of that he wasn't even caring to explain himself. She went and stood next to him.

" me and the baby should be your priority and not some outsider ..she will leave but I will stay with you ...forever..then why the hell do you care about her and not me?" she stressed on her last words, he turned his neck to the other side, clenched his jaws but didn't answer her.

Damn it, he was married to her, she would be the one raising his child! She asked through gritted teeth, " why does it worry you if that gold digger lives or dies?" the next second he turned around and grabbed her by her shoulders, towering on her, he snarled," because I love Pragya!"

She wanted an answer, he gave her and then pushed her back before storming out of the room.

His words rang like loud bells in her ears, he loved... pragya? Her mind failed to comprehend what her ears heard. Did he just now declare that he loved pragya?

NO, this was not possible, this couldn't be possible. How could he love someone else? He was angry with her and probably said this out of rage, he definitely didn't mean it. He was lying for sure, this couldn't be true. She shook her head in disbelief. No, he wouldn't do this to her and why would he do that? Here she was going all out to give him the biggest happiness of his life, he wouldn't repay her like this. She squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her palms against her ears as his awful words echoed. She was his legally wedded wife, she spent more than five bloody years with him...how could he fall for a woman who shared just a night with him?

He had a soft corner for pragya because she was carrying his child but that didn't mean that he loved that...prostitute!

Or was it really true?

Thanks for reading

Rose