"Time was passing like a hand waving from a train I wanted to be on.
I hope you never have to think about anything as much as I think about you."
Jonathan Safran Foer
This emotion was eating out every bit of sanity he had had. He couldn't take it any more . She was so close to him , so very close yet so far.
The thrust with which it catapulted in his being was astounding. Why did it hurt, when it was only that he wanted? Why did it still hurt, when all he wanted to do was hurt her? Why did it hurt when she called out for Aryan and not him when she was in pain? Why?
He sat in frustration , trying to plan his penultimate move for the 'Destroy Sanyukta' mission. But all that his mind could do was to follow where his heart led him to. Her eyes, those tears, and the 'Aryan' .
All the college memories came rushing back to him. All those times when he tried destroying her only to fall for her even more. All those times when he decided to make her life miserable only to hurt himself in the process.
He smiled. It was rather a painful smile. Smile that comes on your face when you don't know what to make out of the emotions you're dealing with?
But he was determined, determined to hurt her again. But what if he falls for her again? Was he ready? Were THEY ready for HIS kinda love, again?
'Are we?'He said out loud to the emptiness of his room.
But Aryan , Sanaya? Would this be fair ? They were both in unsaid relationships. Would this be considered cheating?
'No, I'm destroying her . How can that be cheating?'
'To make her fall in love with you , again isn't that?' His heart whispered .
'I don't know'
He walked out of the room.
Unknowingly , he ended up near the medical room .That's the thing about being connected with another person, everything leads back to them. He stood there and watched through the tainted glass , Aryan sitting by her bedside holding her and staring at her so intently , to notice even the slightest expression of discomfort.
This made Randhir a little uneasy , he felt overwhelmed . The flood of memories found escape from his heart and headed straight to attack his head . The way she caressed him each time he was hurt , her eyes , the pain . He remembered the time when he was where Aryan is.
Was he that easy to replace?
'Am I, Sanyukta?', he whispered to himself. The more he was trying to move on from her, the more he was attracted to her. Maybe because you move on from your past, but your past doesn't move on from you.
Why does this hurt so much? Why does seeing her with someone else seem so painful? SHE was the cause of all his pain, then why? He was supposed to hate her. But why was she the ONLY cure .
His thoughts were a mess. The conflicting emotions that he was dealing with, they were too much to handle. But why? He had Sanaya, the best person he could've ever wished for then why did his life still feel incomplete? Maybe there was still a void. A void no one could fill, except HER.
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