Hey guys...so here you go with the first chapter of my first TS
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CHAPTER -1
"Nandini...Nandini...ruko toh sahi..."
I heared him call me from a long time but I didn't turn back or respond. I dind't feel like because I knew what he was upto and I didn't want to witness anymore of his regular craziness.
"Nandini...atleast listen to me"
Hearing his voice anyone could say he was tired of running behind of me and was panting heavily. I felt bad for his condition and a bit guilty for being the reason behind his such condition. I finally stopped and turned back to have a clear and proper view of him.
"Kya hua?" I asked him with a slight dash of annoyance.
"Kya hua? I should ask you. Kabse se bula rahi hu. Ruk kyu nahi thi? He asked me back with equal annoyance.
"Manik. Kya chahiye? Kyun bula rahe thein?'' I questioned him instead of replying back.
What should I answered him? What answer do I have. Its not unknown to him that I am avoiding him. Manik is not unknown to the fact that I can't talk to him like old days, ever so comfortably. Only the thing he doesn't know is the reason behind my such sudden behavior.
He knew its not worth argueing with me so he found it better to answer me instead of another question round.
"Woh haa...actually I got two movie tickets for us. Toh wahi puchna tha. Chalogi mere saath?" Manik replied with a cheerfull voice.
"Konsa movie ki baat chal rahi hain bhai. Aur kon kisko le jar aha hain?"
I heared Alya, my soul sister coming to us and speak.
"Main nandini ko movie k liye puch raha tha." Manik excitely replied looking towards Alya standing beside me.
Manik shifted his gaze from Alya towards me and said, "Toh Nandu? Chalogi mere saath"
I was a bit scepticull with my answer. Though I wanted to agree and say him yes, but somewhere my mind my busy convincing my heart to deny him. Knowing the situation and that the equation between and Manik is not the same anymore, I thought to end the triffle going between my heart and mind and say NO.
"Nahi. Mera maan nahi hain. Tum chaley jao. Waise bhi I need to make important note so I'll be busy. I'm sorry I can't join you" I replied sternly, avoinding any eye contact.
I heard Manik heave a sigh of disappointment. How I felt bad to reject him and disappoint him every single time and for spoinling our friendship and bond. But I was helpless to. I had to do this. I had to deny him as this is good for him, for me, for us.
"Thik hain. Choro phir. Kisi aur din chaley jayenge."
His voice didn't have that same excitement, same chirpiness. His voice did not have that same glow. And those dreamy eyes of his, didn't have that same spark and same hint of happiness. I did feel guilty for making him this sad. It hurted me. It hurted me a lot to hurt him, the ever so happy-go-lucky best friend of mine who loves to be always be happy and keep everyone around him happy, specially me. I felt really bad for doing this to him. To hurt the guy who always wants me to stay happy and smilling. But I was not left with any choice. I had to do this.
"Arey choro kyun? Manik, agar Nandini nahi jana chahey toh kya hua. Main hoon na. Waise bhi I'm free today aur mera yeh parahku roommate toh sara time notes banana main busy rahegi and I'll get bored. So chalo lets go. You and me. Whats say?" I heard Alya speak with a sudden dash of excitement followed by a wink.
Firstly, I was bit taken aback. I didn't expect such a sudden unexpected reaction from her and specially that wink. I knew she had a huge crush on Manik from the very first day but she never behaved like this. Infact she was always the one to get hell annoyed by my weird behavior with him.
I never expected that in place of scolding me and making a mole out of hill for denying Manik once again for the umpteenth she would happily ask Manik out. Its not that I felt bad, no never. Okay maybe I did a bit, but more than that I was surprised. But anyways. Its better. Atleast he will be getting some company and will be happy.
I was engrossed in my thoughts when my trance got broken by Alya's nudge and her voice.
"Kyu Nandini? Tujhe koi problem hain if I go for a movie with Manik in place of you?" she asked with a smirk.
"Mu...mu..mujhe kyun koi problem hogi? I have no problem." I was stammering. I could't find words, I don't know why.
I shifted my face from Alya to Manik's side to see his reaction. He was upset. Maybe he was upset with my uxexpected reply as expected. But he should get used to such unexpected answers.
"Toh Manik decided. Aj sham ko. Movie together." Alya spoke with a glint of chirpiness in her voice.
I couldn't understand but I was feeling uncomfortable and left out in that situation. I could feel lump forming in my throat and tears wetting my eyes. I did all to control myself but this foolish heart but aching to give him pain. I was unaware of my this reaction. I know he is finding my behavior quite weird and is trying to find the reasons just the way I find answers to justify my this behavior. I knew why I was doing this but all I didn't know was this feeling. This mixed feeling of hurt, guilt, pain, uneasiness, uncomfort and maybe jelousy too.
Not being able to cope up with my sudden uneasiness, discomfort and emotions I walked of that place saying that I neede to rush.
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I was sitting in the adjacent balcony of my and Alya's bedroom and exploring the unending watery bed in front of my sight.The sea seemed to be as deep as my emotion and thoughts.
Alya and I had been friends since the 1st day of our college. We both had a great bonding with each other. We shared every single detail of our lives and each day.
And Manik? Mom says we have been best of friends since the day of our birth. I'm one day younger than him but for everyone its seems I'm ages elder than him. He's still an mimatured, crazy in the head cranky teenager. Our parents have been college friends and us childhood friends. He is one of the major reasons for getting me the permission to come to Pune for my studies as both of us got admission in the same college.
We were inseperable souls since childhood, always around each other, be it school or college. We used to be almost clinging to each other all the time unless things change after his one confession.
I was busy in my thought when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I sighed knowing who it is and turned to look at her.
"So all set to go for your movie?" I told Alya while making my way towards my bed.
I sat down and faced alya to have a proper look of her. She was wearing a knee length red frock and looked pretty. Red is Manik's favourite colour. She must have worn it thinking this only.
"Kaisi lag rahi hu?" she asked me flaunting her dress.
"You look pretty as always." I tried to fake a smile.
"Manik ko pasand ayega na?" she asked me out of the blue with some hope evidient in her eyes. Firstly I was taken aback but then I felt a bit upset.
"Ha zaroor. Red toh uska favourite colour hain na. aur waise bhi you look so beautiful."
I was not unaware of Alya long long crush on Manik from the very first day of college but I was surely not sure about her intentions to impress Manik all of a sudde. And this sudden new piece information shook me a bit.
Will Manik really get impress? Whatever Nandini. Tujhe kya. Why are you getting affected.
I was happy seeing Alya happy, taking so much of effort to look beautiful in front of Manik. She was already to go and I was all set to explore my these new growing feelings and emotions.
She was already to leave and walking out of our room grabbing her cluch and extra keys when she turned towards me and asked me, "Tujhe bura nahi lag raha hain?"
"Mujhe..mu..mu..mujhe kyun bura lagega. Nahi. Bilkul nahi. Infact maine toh khud tumlogo ko college mein janey k liye kahana." Though I was feeling bad but I had to hide my feelings.
"I'm not talking about the movie and all. I'm talking about your this behavior with Manik. Main teri insab harkato ki baat kar rahi hoon."
"Konsi harkate?" I knew the answer and my knew I was wrong but my mind was adamant not to support my heart.
"Dekh tujhe khud bhi pata hain. Tu kyun aise behave kar rahi hain uske saath? Kyun usko ignore kar rahi hain? Just because usne apna feelings confess kiya? Just because he told you I love you? Thik hain maana tu yeh sudden confession expect nahi kar rahi thi but nandu usne khud tujhe kaha than not to feel comfortable aur tera answer jobhi ho tum dono ka friendship par effect nahi karega toh tu kyu aisa kar rahi hain?
Mat kar Nandu. Isse usey bhi dard horaha hain aur tujhe bh. Don't hurt both of you anymore."
She is right. I'm equally as hurt as him but I didn't want to get further hurt. I didn't want him to get further hurt because of my past, my pain, my insecurities. I had to do this with him, me, with us. For our happiness.
"Alya, main kuch nahi kar rahi hu. Main bas hum dono ka bhalai chahti hu. Uske confession didn't not change our friendship but my feelings change. Main nahi karti use pyaar aur na hi kar paungi isliye I don't want him to survive with false hope. I want him to move on and go on with life."
"Tu jhut bol rahi hain Nandini. You love him. You love him a lot. Tu bas darti hain. You are being a coward to accept your feelings and express it. Aur in sab main woh hurt ho raha hain. And trust me, I'm hating you for doing this to both of you. But tu soch mat.He won't be uselessly waiting for you with false hope. Main hu na. I'll help him to move on.''
I was taken aback by her reply and her harsh, rough voice wich was filled with with utmost anger and shades of hatred and annoyance.
She walked out leaving me behind all hurt, shocked and shattered. Hurt for hurting him, shocked to see my best friend spitting anger with so much of annoyance and tinge of hatred and lastly shattered with those last words. Truly none of her words hurted me as much as the last sentence. And neither do I know the reason nor I want to.
Cause one thing I am sure of is that its better we keep distance, Alya be with Manik and Manik to move on.
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Fillany I completed writing the first chapter.
Anyways...how was it? Loved it? Liked it? Hated it?
Kuch bhi? share your views. do comment n like.
Criticism bhi chalega but aram se.
And those who want pm for this TS pm me. I'll do the needfull other kindly ignore
#OkThanksBye
Edited by KoyelDutta - 9 years ago
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