Please Don't Leave Me (Chapters 323 - 331 on Page 42) - Page 17

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A few months passed, and soon Raghav was six months old. He could sit up by himself now, though he often fell backwards on the bed. Somya was even starting to get closer to her younger brother, and of course Randhir and Sanyukta still behaved like newlyweds.

One day, while Randhir was at work, Sanyukta was playing with Raghav on her bed, when her phone rang. Vidhushi.

"Yes Vidhushi?" Sanyukta asked.

"Sanyukta I'm scared. I have something I need to tell you," Vidhushi gasped.

"What?" Sanyukta asked.

"I - I'm pregnant," Vidhushi replied, and Sanyukta smiled.

"Congratulations! Why are you scared?" she replied.

"I... I never ever slept with Ankit," Vidhushi admitted.

"What?" Sanyukta gasped. "What do you mean?"

"P - Parth's the father of my child," Vidhushi said, and Sanyukta knew that she was in tears. "Can I come and see you?"

"Yes, come over," Sanyukta replied, her heart hammering loudly.

What had Vidhushi done?

A few hours later, Vidhushi appeared at Shekhawat Mansion and they were sitting in the living room with Raghav.

"I loved him a lot back in college. I never stopped loving him. We were even dating for some time, but then we broke it off. He is back now, and my feelings returned. I knew he was trying to mess with your mind, and I confronted him about it. He admitted that he didn't love you anymore, but he realized that his love for me had once been his strongest point," Vidhushi told Sanyukta, "And in a moment of weakness I lost myself. Now I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do Sanyukta."

Wow. Vidhushi and Parth. This was a lot to take in.

"You never slept with Ankit?" Sanyukta asked Vidhushi. "You're sure this baby is Parth's?"

"I've never let Ankit come close to me. I know it isn't fair, but Parth has always ruled my heart. The thought of someone else coming close just fills me up with disgust," Vidhushi admitted.

"Okay, don't worry about it. Don't stress. It isn't good for the baby. Did you tell Parth about it?" Sanyukta asked and Vidhushi shook her head. "Look Vidhushi, you need to do what makes you happy. There's no way that Ankit can be happy either if you're doing this to him. You need to have a serious talk with both Ankit and Parth."

Vidhushi sighed.

"I guess I should do that," she agreed.

Then Raghav started to cry and Sanyukta rocked him in her arms.

"He's hungry, I should feed him," Sanyukta said and Vidhushi nodded.

"Thanks Sanyukta. I'll get going now," she said and then turned around and left.

That night, in their bedroom, Sanyukta brought it up to Randhir.

"Vidhushi's pregnant with Parth's child," she blurted out and Randhir looked up with shock.

"What?" he asked incredulously.

"She told me today," Sanyukta said, and then all of a sudden her head started to hurt. "Ouch!"

"Are you okay?" Randhir asked and rushed over to her, holding her shoulders.

She closed her eyes and saw some memories of the past...

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She saw a situation in her eyes - she was pregnant, about to go into labour at any moment. All of her memories up to this point had been unlocked for her.

--
"I'm going to say it because it's true," Randhir was snarling in her memories. "You're a s**t - a wh**e. My wife is a wh**e, I should be proud!"

She was devastated. Tears fell down from her eyes and she took a deep breath.

"Fine Randhir. You've been talking now you listen. I've seen the way you get close with your co-worker Ishika. I've seen how you interact with her, how you flirt with her... and here you are blaming me for getting close to Parth when he's only in India for a few weeks? He's like a brother to me, you know that, yet you're accusing me?" she asked him.

"What? Ishika? Are you out of your mind?" Randhir bellowed.

"No Randhir I am not!" she screamed. "Fine, I'm a s**t. I'm a wh**e. I'm all of these things... but at least I don't flirt with my coworkers in front of my spouse! I'm not that low! I don't treat my pregnant spouse like shit at home and then go around flirting with other people outside!"

"I have never -" he started, but was cut off by her.

"Randhir, there is no way that I'm going to stay here with you. Not anymore!" she screamed, and she could feel her whole body beginning to ache. "I can't! I'm leaving with my baby!"

He grabbed her arm with force.

"You aren't taking my baby anywhere," he screamed. "You can go to hell, but you aren't taking my baby with you."

--

Her eyes shot open and she was shivering. Randhir had acted this way towards her? He had once called her many names, such cruel ones?

"Are you okay?" he repeated and she looked up at him with disgust.

How could she be okay when her own husband called her such degrading words?

As he saw the look in her eyes, he cupped her face and pulled her to him, hugging her tightly.

"What do you remember?" he asked her, his heart beating fast.

She pushed him off her with all her strength and picked up Raghav from the crib before leaving the room.

How could it be that Randhir had ever been like the man in her memories?

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It hurt a lot. It was like her faith had been shaken from within her. How could her Randhir have said such cruel things about her? How could he have called her a s**t, a wh**e? She lay a sleeping Raghav on the bed in the guest room and sat down next to him, leaning against the headboard and folding her arms across her chest. Then she started to cry.

One by one, the tears fell, because she didn't know how to handle the thought that he could say such horrible things about her. He was her husband. How could he point a finger at her character? How could he use such vile words?

She tried to control her sobs, but they were uncontrollable. Raghav easily slept through the night now, so she didn't want to wake him up with her cries.

The door to the guest room opened and Randhir went up to the bed, ignoring a sobbing Sanyukta, and picked Raghav up in his arms before he took him out of the room.

Sanyukta just sat there motionlessly, not even looking up at him as he took their son out of the room. She couldn't look at him. How could she when all she felt was disgust?

Randhir came back into the guest room after placing Raghav comfortably in his crib. He closed the door to the guest room behind him.

"Sanyukta," he murmured, but she looked up at him angrily, causing him to keep quiet.

Instead he sat on the bed in front of her and gently wiped the tears that had fallen from her eyes.

"I wish I never remembered that," she whispered, tears filling her eyes again. "Randhir, I wished my memories would stay lost forever."

He didn't say anything to her.

"I'm a - a wh**e?" she gasped. "A s - s**t?"

He looked up at her and she saw that his own eyes were filled with pain at the words that he had once called her. They had so much stress on them those days that their relationship had been falling apart.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry for saying all those cruel things about you. I was wrong."

"How could I have stayed here after you said those words? How Randhir?" she asked him. "I can't... I can't even imagine that those words can come out of your mouth. I thought you were perfect - I thought you loved me so much that you can do no wrong."

She watched as his eyes filled with tears, and for some reason, even right now, she wanted to reach forward and stop his tears from falling.

"I feel so disgusted now. So suffocated. I don't know how I can stay with you," she told him painfully. "I can't believe this is how we were."

"Please Sanyukta," he told her, "We were punished for what we did before, but now I don't think I can suffer through the same punishment again... and we already sorted that out between ourselves."

"How am I supposed to stay here when all that's ringing in my ears are those words?" she whispered to him, tears falling from her eyes. "How am I supposed to be here knowing that you've said those things about me? I - I can't stay here Randhir. I just can't. I have to go."

Randhir's head fell forward onto her lap and he held her legs tightly.

"Please don't say that Sanyukta. I can't stay apart from you anymore. Please," he begged. "Please don't leave me."

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Sanyukta choked on her own tears as she watched Randhir weep on her lap, begging her to not leave him. Her hands shook as she touched his head, caressing his hair because her heart broke when she saw him like this.

"Did I stay with you after hearing those words?" she asked him painfully. "I don't know how I could ever forget those words...but now I wish those memories were gone forever and I could enjoy the lie that I was living."

His head shot up and he looked at her with red eyes.

"This is a lie?" Randhir asked her. "Our love was never a lie Sanyukta."

"I thought we were the perfect couple. I never thought that there could ever be any resentment in our relationship... but I guess I was wrong," she admitted.

Randhir wiped the tears that had fallen from his own eyes before moving on the bed so he could sit next to her.

"I love you," he said firmly, looking into her eyes, "There is no truth beyond that so don't let something so temporary like this memory decide your life."

She held back a sob before throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. For some reason, even though he had once called her those horrible names, she didn't want to leave him.

"But I have self-respect," she sobbed into his neck as his arms wrapped around her protectively.

"What matters more to you? Your self-respect or your love for me?" he whispered into her ear. "Where there's love, such a thing like self-respect cannot exist. Where you find peace and solace, there's love."

"I don't love you then?" she whispered painfully. "Because knowing you said those things about me is gnawing my insides. It disgusts me... but at the same time I can't let go... at the same time, I'm happiest in your arms."

"Then don't leave me," he told her firmly. "When you left me last time, you weren't happy. You were happy only when you came back to me... you were always happy with me and only me. So why sacrifice that?"

She broke the hug and looked into his eyes with a confused expression.

"I - I left you?" she asked, her heart aching.

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Randhir didn't want to tell her the truth, but it seemed like this would be the only way to stop her from leaving him. He didn't think he could survive if she left him again. Or perhaps he knew he could survive, and that scared him... if he survived for six long years, and he survived the moments where he thought that she would lose her life, then surely he could survive another loss.

The truth was that he just didn't want to lose her, nor did he want to survive without her, because a world without her would feel empty and meaningless.

"You did leave me," he admitted. "After I called you all those words and insulted you, you left me. Then we met again and sorted it out."

"When did I leave you? After giving birth to Somya?" she asked him, sounding confused.

"Yes," he admitted.

She looked into his eyes, searching for something which she couldn't find in herself.

"For how long?" she asked him.

"Not long, but to me it felt like an eternity," he lied. "So Sanyukta, please, please don't let the thought of leaving occur to you again - that too for a mistake made almost eight years ago that we've both moved past."

She looked at him suspiciously. The truth was that he didn't want to lie, but he had no choice. Right now she wouldn't be able to take the burden of guilt of having left her own daughter at such a tender age.

"Please Sanyukta," he pleaded with her again.

She then rested her head on his shoulder and relaxed.

"Okay," she whispered. "But please give me some time to come to terms with what's happening."

"Of course," he replied, a feeling of satisfaction taking over. "You can have all the time you want, but just stay with me."

"I can't leave you even if I want to," she admitted. "It just hurts to remember all those things."

"I understand," he murmured, rubbing her arm soothingly.

Sometimes memories were wiped off, only to come back stronger than ever, and sometimes lies were told, only for the truth to come out with an impact like none other.

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That night, Sanyukta went back to her own room to sleep, but she kept a distance from Randhir, still hurt from the memory. She was really upset that he could ever say those words to her, and each time she remembered it, she got more and more insecure... could he really think so lowly of her?

Randhir also kept a distance because he didn't want her to feel pressured. Her being beside him like this was a blessing in itself. He didn't want to push her over the edge when she wasn't ready for it.

The next few days passed like this, with Randhir and Sanyukta keeping a distance from each other.

One day, Somya noticed the odd formality between her parents' and over breakfast, she brought it up.

"What's wrong with you two?" she quipped before stuffing a piece of pancake into her mouth. "You're hardly speaking... are you two in a fight?"

"What? No!" Randhir replied, "There's nothing wrong."

"I'm not stupid daddy," Somya replied, rolling her eyes. "You have hardly been talking to mommy."

Sanyukta glanced up at Randhir then back to Somya before forcing a smile.

"Somya sweetheart, there's nothing wrong. Everything is okay," she said softly. "Don't worry about us."

"I don't believe you. Why are you hardly talking?" Somya asked. "Well whatever it is... sort it out quickly because it's irritating!"

"Somya!" Randhir snapped. "Is that a way to talk to your parents'?"

"What? I'm just being truthful," she argued. "It is irritating!"

Randhir just sighed and went back to eating his pancakes as Raghav started to cry upstairs.

"Another irritation," Somya grumbled and Randhir glared at her.

Sanyukta just ran upstairs to take care of Raghav.

"Do your homework," Randhir told Somya. "I have some work to do at my office so I'll be out for a while. Don't give your mommy a hard time."

"Okay," she replied, finishing her pancakes. "I will not!"

Randhir didn't expect that Somya would indirectly tell Sanyukta a difficult truth while he was away... something that would push her over the edge and deep into the water, perhaps even drowning her.

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A few hours after Randhir left for work, Raghav was playing in his crib and Somya walked in to her parents' bedroom. Her mom was reading a novel on the bed. Somya walked over to her brother and poked his belly with a frown.

"His belly is big," she commented.

Sanyukta put down her book and walked over to Somya and Raghav.

"Of course, all he does is drink milk," she told her daughter. "When he can crawl and walk, he will lose all of the baby fat."

"Okay," Somya accepted, "I'm bored."

"Bored? Come sit with me then," Sanyukta said softly and Somya sat on top of the bed with Sanyukta.

"Was I also fat when I was a baby?" Somya wondered curiously, "Oh wait... I should ask daddy that question."

Sanyukta felt her heart start to beat at a much more rapid pace - could it be that Somya had found out about her memory loss?

"Why do you say that sweetheart?" Sanyukta asked.

"Have you forgotten mommy? You weren't around when I was a baby," Somya told her, and Sanyukta looked at her daughter with shock. "Daddy told me you were dead, so when you came back I was so shocked. It still hurts that you left me for so long. Mommy... how can you have left me for six whole years?"

Somya's eyes then filled with tears and so did Sanyukta's.

Six years she had been away from her daughter? Randhir had told her daughter that she was dead? What happened that forced her to leave her daughter and compelled Randhir to tell Somya that her own mother wasn't in this world anymore?

Could it be that he truly believed in those words he called her so he forced her to leave him? Did he push her out of his and his daughter's lives? Why else would she leave? And why did he lie to her by saying that their separation was not a long one?

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Sanyukta didn't know how she managed to avoid answering Somya's questions. All she did was hug her daughter tightly, trying to soothe the painful ache in her own chest. How could Randhir have done this to her? She had to speak to him.

"I'll be back okay sweetheart? I just have to use the washroom," Sanyukta said, rubbing her daughter's back lovingly before letting go of her, picking up her phone and then locking herself in the washroom.

She sat against the wall and tried to take deep breaths, to calm herself down. She couldn't burst out crying... she couldn't let Somya hear her.

With shaking hands, she took her phone and dialed Randhir's number.

"Hello?" he answered as he picked up.

"How could you do this to me?" she whispered, her voice cracked. "Randhir, how could you do this to me?"

"Sanyukta what's wrong?" Randhir asked her.

"I hate you," she told him, "I hate you so much."

"I'm coming home," he told her. "Stay on the phone with me."

She heard him shut off a laptop and begin to pack his bags.

"How come this happened to us?" she cried. "Six years?"

There was a moment of silence, like he was shocked.

"Okay listen to me Sanyukta. I have a lot to say to you, but I'll tell you when I get home. Please get a hold of yourself," he told her.

She heard the traffic - he was already outside of the office.

"N - no," she sobbed. "Randhir, I can't believe you did this to me... I was dead for you? For your daughter? You - you didn't even let me stay with my daughter? Randhir... how could you hurt me like this?"

"I love you," he told her firmly into the phone. "I will come and explain everything to you. Don't jump to any conclusions. You have to listen to me first."

"I hate you," she repeated and then hung up the phone, before burying her face into her knees.

How could this much pain even exist?