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It is not a fact unknown to me growing up in a conservative Brahmin family that hair is kept untied only by widows.
Hair has to be tied both by young girls as well as married woman. Yes another custom the rebel in me had questioned and the answer I got was untied hair causes war, disruption to the peace in the family and have even got scolding from elders telling dont be Panchali.
Today Sunaina told beautifully what the tied hair really imply. If you look hair is one of the prized possession of any woman. Yes today we cut our hair very short, still if you ask me while grooming where I spend the maximum time my answer will be hair. Perfectly combed, tied and decorated hair with flowers is pleasing in any woman. We have to admit long tresses do give woman a beauty. The poets have never stopped singing about the hair. The classic one being the song from Alaipayuthe whose lyrics goes like this " Iravin nirame, iravin nirame, karkala pennotha nirame, kakkai chirakkil nirame, pennai ezhuthum mayin nirame, veyil padum kuyilin nirame, ellam serthnu un kundal nirame( Transalation: The color of night, the color of crow's wings, the color of eyeliner, the color of singing cuckoo together brings the colour of your hair). Hair is a woman's pride and symbol of feminity and a man's desire.
And the hair tied in a woman means she belongs to someone else. The beauty of her hair is only to be enjoyed by the spouse and not by anyone else. It also represented a woman who felt secure and protected in her maayka as well as the marital home.
Her untied hair does not bring war. But it is a warning to the man to do his duty. To protect her. She is not feeling safe, secure. When MB aired in Starplus many were complaining Panchali was shown too feminists because she disowns her husband. Many were mocking does Panchali wants divorce.
Starplus MB had to give dialogues because people didnt understand ancient customs. Panchali had disowned her husbands the moment she let her hair lose and took the pledge unless it is washed by her tormentor's blood she wont tie it. To the husbands who stood mute while she was dragged and being disrobed in the court, she was asking to prove themselves as her husbands. And she wont accept them till they bring her tormentor's blood.
And if you look Sita also sends her hair ornament through Hanuman. It was her way of reminding Ram of his duty. Her protection. Ravan drags Sita by hair as symbol of his power and as a symbol of owning her.
Every ancient custom has a reason. They were kept for restraint, they were kept for understanding the changed status, they were symbols of love, of hatred and without telling people understood their rights and duties then.
So if a man wants his wife to have her hair tied, want to do shringaar of her hair, then he has to keep her happy, secure and protected. No point giving her order to tie her hair 😃
Anupamaa
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
