Arshi FF: Destined To Love #2 LINK TO#3 Pg151 - Page 25

Chapter 20

Shalini saw him coming out of the room, the paper was still in his hand as he wore a grim expression on his face. With bated breath she waited to know whether khushi had signed on that piece of paper or not. She slowly took a step towards him and with a quivering voice asked," did she sign?" he shook his head in disappointment and replied softly," no." A wave of relief swept through shalini's entire body and she let out a deep sigh. Lifting his lashes he gazed at her. She immediately composed herself and posed as if nothing had happened everything was fine.

" hmm after all ten lacs is not a small amount ." Dismissing the favor completely that khushi had done on the couple and her in particular.

Arnav scrunched his nose in disbelief, how could his wife even think like that, just for the sake of ten lacs that khushi would get after delivering as per the deal, she was today not undergoing an abortion and risking her life? If something happened to her during the course of delivery then what would khushi do with those ten lakhs! Instead of acknowledging the biggest sacrifice that khushi was making for her happiness, she was trying to buy khushi's life with that money. If all this was for money then he spat out," in that case I'm willing to pay her fifty lacs, ask her to terminate this pregnancy." He couldn't believe how could someone behave so insensitively, she was human and above all a woman still she failed to understand what khushi was going through and what she'd done for them.

Shalini lowered her eyes seeing her husband behave emotionally instead practically. Arnav crumbled the paper in abhorrence and threw it away before heading towards the doctor's cabin.

Knocking at the door to seek permission before entering was not part of his character. The doctor lifted her head from the file on seeing him standing tall before her. She raised her hand gesturing him to sit down.

" I tried to convince her but she didn't agree." She could feel the sense of defeat and helplessness in his voice. She nodded her head in understanding, its not easy for mothers to part with their child, even it endangered their lives.

" is it necessary to obtain her permission?" he sounded irritated, after all he'd given his consent to abort the child then why couldn't they go ahead with it? doctor blinked her eyes and informed that mother's consent was most important otherwise it would be termed as illegal.

To hell with the law! He could get away with it any day but couldn't cheat on her. He banged the table with his fist in frustration.

" now what ?" he questioned after remaining quiet for few minutes, expecting some words of assurance from her. The guilt of not being able to do anything was weighing down on his broad shoulders. The doctor removed her pair of spectacles and began explaining to him the exact situation. This pregnancy was complicated, it couldn't be ruled out nor the fact that it threatened khushi's life. However after going through her file the doctor felt that the issue was serious but not so grave. Chances of khushi surviving after or during delivery were dim but not nil.

He didn't know whether to obtain solace from doctor's words or not. He wished to, he desperately wanted to otherwise the remaining period of her pregnancy would be living hell for him. Seeing him disillusioned the doctor added further. In such cases many a times it had happened that the mother survived and lead a perfect life afterwards. There was still hope! Everything was not lost. And for that they needed to keep the atmosphere around her stress free. Constant reminder that her life was in danger would only complicate things. The positivity and optimism that he'd exude would definitely pass on to her. This was a testing time for both of them especially him and she badly needed his support. He pursed his lips and shook his head slowly in agreement, there was nothing else that he could do except for to hope for the best and be with her. The doctor looked above and said that this was all HIS will and HE would guide them through this tough phase.

Pushing back the chair he went out of the cabin feeling a little better. While walking down the corridor his gaze fell on the idol of lord ganpati. A lady was lighting a lamp before it. He paused, glanced at the idol, murmured something silently and left from there.

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Shalini leaned back in the chair and watched khushi's rhythmic and cyclical breathing. Her eyes fell on khushi's hands that were resting over her belly. Shalini's lips stretched slightly knowing that the baby was still there. Out of the blue seeing her husband here and that too carrying an unconscious khushi had shocked her, if that wasn't enough then this whole idea of having an abortion had scared the living day lights out of her. Thankfully khushi acted sensibly and took the right decision because her husband had lost it completely. After coming so far how could he even think of moving back? For God sake damn it, the life of their child was at stake!

khushi's eyes fluttered under her eye lids, she opened them slowly and looked around. Her palms still placed over her stomach as she gave shalini a weak smile. Coming near her, shalini picked up a glass of juice and offered her.

" how you're feeling now?" shalini asked softly as khushi tried to sit up. She was still weak and in pain however smiled reassuringly at shalini indicating that she was better. There was deep silence in the room. Sipping on the juice she glanced at shalini, who was doing everything to avoid her gaze. It confused khushi, was all not well?

" di, what happened?" shalini moved her head slightly, no nothing had happened, she pressed her lips before replying," you didn't let anything happen." And placed her hand over khushi's who could see respite floating in shalini's eyes. So she'd made the right call by not terminating the pregnancy, she blinked her eyes and assured shalini by saying," I won't let anything happen to the baby."

Both the ladies smiled at each other, shalini cupped khushi's face and said," and I promise I won't let anything happen to You."

khushi bit her lower lip and dropped her gaze, from the very beginning she knew that she'd never get an opportunity to nurture her child and would have to walk away from her child's life but now she didn't even know whether she'd survive or not after delivery. In both the cases her child would never get to see her. The thought twisted her heart and pricked her eyes still she'd go ahead with her decision for shalini and him.

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Sitting in the lawn of the nursing home he stared at the people rejoicing on the road outside the gates. With colors smeared all over their faces they were hardly recognizable. Today or till now even he had failed to recognize the real face of khushi, even though it was devoid of any artificial color still he couldn't make out her real face, the emotions and feelings that she hid behind her face. She wasn't a gold digger as she posed herself to be, in fact she valued the life growing inside her to a great extent but still he wasn't expecting her to react like this. She wouldn't straight away agree to abort the child, that much he knew but even if it endangered her own life still she wouldn't change her decision, that was surprising because life is dear to everyone and she was doing all this as she wished to keep the promise she'd made to shalini that was shocking! For the love and desperation that she saw in shalini for the unborn she was willing to risk her own life! That was not all, there was something more that was stopping her from undergoing an abortion and that was his pain.

The hunger and desire to have a baby that was always evident in shalini's behavior but hidden behind his dark pools was visible to her! she was the mother of his child but beyond that what kind of a relationship they shared that made it impossible for her to see him in pain, he could still not figure out. What had he given her that his happiness meant so much to her? not just today but ever since they had spent that night together. What was he to her and she to him, he couldn't make out. Till today he thought he somewhat knew her but her open revelation some time back stunned him to the core. Could someone ever understand what he wanted and wished for without him uttering a word? Was that really possible? Yeah it was she'd made it possible. Was there someone in this world who cried in his pain and smiled in his happiness? Yup she was the one the only one.

Gazing out he saw the atmosphere colored with different shades of red and pink ,for him she was her real color who had colored his life with her presence. A faint smile dared to adorn his lips. The crowd was singing and dancing to the beat of dhol, celebrating this festival to its fullest. His heart was thumping loudly inside his chest, he didn't know whether he could afford to rejoice or not, on one hand his baby was getting close to him while on the other hand the one who was responsible for this joy was slowly drifting away from him. Why did happiness always came in his life with a price tag!

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Shalini adjusted the pillow behind khushi's back and helped her to sit up. Placing the plate of khichdi on the tray before her, shalini took the spoon to feed her. khushi looked around for him, it had been a long time since she saw him, in fact he had not returned after she'd refused to sign that paper. Was he still mad at her?

shalini offered her the spoon, she opened her mouth and asked," di ..you won't eat?" shalini smiled back at her and replied that she needn't worry, she'd have dinner later on. Still khushi was worried for him.

Chewing on the khichdi, her mind went back to the heated conversation they had couple of hours back. The anger, the bitterness and above all the pain in his voice still resounded in her ears. His eyes were furious, frightened and helpless all at the same time. Her heart pricked on recalling how desperate and broken he was while telling her about her condition.

It wasn't easy for him to obtain her consent, to save her life he had to shatter his own dream still he was willing to do it but why?

After waiting for his child for years and after going through hell he was finally getting what his heart craved for still without thinking twice he was ready to give it all up and that too for someone like her! why ?

He could have easily hidden these facts from her, let her go ahead with this pregnancy, have his baby and then just not care about what followed next after all she was here only to give him his heir and then move out of his life but he didn't do all this why?

She was a stranger but this child was his own flesh and blood still he gave priority to her life why?

Placing her hand over her belly she caressed the life that was breathing within her and layed back on the bed after finishing the plate. Closing her eyes she felt happy! It sounded mean and selfish on her part to see him distressed because of her and instead of being sorry she was pleased but she couldn't feel otherwise.

For the first time someone cared about her. For the first time her existence in this world meant so much to someone. She was not perceived as a mere lifeless piece of flesh that could be bought and sold instead for the first time someone dared to look beyond this pretty looking body. Just the thought of her not being alive freaked the hell out of someone.

Sighing deeply her heart fluttered. Till yesterday her mind was in a mess, there were several questions about her feelings towards him that needed answers but now everything was clear. She didn't know what he thought or felt for her but she definitely loved the man who was worried for her, who was scared to lose her, who didn't wish to see her in pain and whose heart shattered seeing her in a miserable state.

Yes it was love! It was always love just that she wasn't prepared to name those feelings as love. Today had he not reacted like this even then she would have felt the same but probably all this made it easier for her to accept her feelings and fall more deeply in love with this man.

Switching off the lights, shalini left the room leaving a delighted khushi behind who didn't know whether he too loved her or not. Probably she would never get who she loved still she was happy to experience this beautiful emotion even if it was one sided and even if it had no future.

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With hands slipped in his pockets arnav was walking back through the corridor when his ears caught something. The faint cries of newborns. He stopped outside the nursery where the babies were kept. His feet automatically took him to that room. Standing outside he gazed at the babies from the huge glass window. Most of them were sleeping peacefully while one or two were whimpering. His eyes glued on a particular baby that was awake. He was punching the air with his tiny little fists and cycling rapidly with his cute legs. God only knew where he was heading and who he was punching but he was all cheerful and excited. A smile spread across arnav's lips as he wondered how his child would be like after birth. Would he have characteristics of his father ,in other words would the baby be short tempered, Reserved and quiet. Also how would the baby look, would the baby have jet black eyes , he wished he had her eyes, soft, innocent yet captivating, his mind again shifted to khushi. Today only because of her his child was still breathing and would come in to this word one day. But would his child be fortunate enough to see his mother thereafter? He clenched his fingers in a fist and pursed his lips, how would he face this new life if something happened to her?

No..No..please don't let anything happen to her, his heart called out in despair!...the doctor had assured that chances of her losing life were low, there was hope and he had to hold on to that hope. He had to keep faith. He had to be strong, not only for himself and the baby but for her as well.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, looking over it he saw shalini standing behind him. He took a moment to turn around as his eyes were damp with fatigue and emotions. Too much had happened in one single day.

" arnav, you must be tired. Go home and rest." He shook his head at once, no he wouldn't go back home till khushi was here.

" don't worry about khushi, I'll stay here and take care of her." He wasn't willing to trust her with a anymore especially after this fiasco.

" I've seen how well she's been taken care of." Bitterness and sarcasm dripped from every word that he spoke, he knew she wasn't careless but still he was annoyed at the way she'd handled this whole incident. What was the need for her to get the doctor home, instead she should've taken khushi to the nursing home. What if he hadn't brought khushi here on time and something happened to her and the baby? He shuddered at the thought.

"you go home." He ordered and began pacing towards khushi's room.

"but you haven't eaten anything ." She reminded him. He waved his hand off, he wasn't hungry, the whole thing had made him lose his appetite. Without giving her a second glance he strode ahead.

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Sliding her head against the car window, shalini closed her eyes in satisfaction. For a very long time she hid about khushi's complicated pregnancy from both of them, him in particular. The doctor in ratnagiri had told her about the complications and since then she was hell bent on moving khushi away from him because she feared that he would react just the way he did today. No doubt he loved the child and desired to have it but she knew he wouldn't risk khushi's life for it even if her survival rate was not that low. She was willing to take that chance but he wouldn't, she was quite certain of that. But finally today everything was out in the open and somewhere she felt it was for the better. Thankfully the abortion didn't take place today and as the doctor suggested thinking of terminating this pregnancy later on would be all the more risky for khushi hence her baby was safe!

Seeing him getting emotionally drawn towards khushi didn't worry her, after a few months khushi wouldn't be a part of their lives, his to be specific. Either she wouldn't make it after delivery or even if she did then she (shalini) would fill her mouth with so much money that it wouldn't dare to open and utter the word 'arnav ji' ever again! Its money that makes the world go around..not nobility..not love.

However there was just one thing that was eating her head, now that he was aware that khushi was not keeping well then he would definitely take them back to ratngiri. He would want khushi and his child to be before his eyes all the time and that was worrying shalini because then the lie that she wasn't carrying his baby and the truth that she wouldn't ever be able to conceive would come out. She looked at her infertility as her weakness and she didn't have the courage to accept it in front of the world. She posed as a strong, well determined woman who could handle any crisis and wished to keep that image intact. Sighing deeply she thought that something needed to be done to change his rigid mind before she lost control over the situation.

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khushi stirred in her sleep, she wasn't in pain anymore, opening her drowsy eyes she gazed around, her right hand still had the Ivy attached to it. She tried to move slightly but felt she was being held back. Looking down her eyes widened in surprise on seeing his head resting on her bed side. He was holding her left hand firmly in his while sleeping. Biting her lower lip she smiled at him. The warmth of his palms warmed her heart up. She simply stared at him and moved her fingers just a tiny bit in his hold to ensure herself that this was for real' his touch was for real, she wasn't dreaming, he actually holding her.

She wished this moment froze in time. She wished he held her close to himself like this, always. Suddenly she felt so safe, protected and secure with him.

Her eyes didn't wish to see anything or body else. They studied and admired his sleeping face for as long as they could. She raised her free hand and brought close to his face. Her finger tips trembled and ached to touch him just once. Her heart thumped loudly inside her chest when her fingers brushed through his floppy hair that sat on his forehead shielding it.

Slowly as she moved his hair aside and his face became fully visible to her dazed eyes she felt that she'd fallen in love with this man to bits. Her lips quivered in a smile as she lifted her head slightly to look out of the window at the star studded sky and remembered how once she'd wished that love made a place in his lonely heart, little did she know that one night she'd want to wish from a shooting star to give her a small place in his beautiful heart.

She craned her neck as her rebellious heart ordered her eyes to frantically search for one shooting star tonight ,just one. She was hopelessly and madly in love !

Her fingers felt some movement underneath them. He was stirring from his slumber. She shot her hand back immediately and shut her eyes tight, earlier her heart was silly but now it was going crazy and driving her insane. She smiled in her heart.

He glanced at her, she was weak still appeared a little better than last time he'd seen her. His eyes then fell to his hands that were clasping hers. He stared at those entwined hands and wondered why she meant so much to him? Why did he desire to hold on to her? He knew she wouldn't be around him forever so why just the thought of losing her scared him to death?

Pulling up the blanket till her shoulders he looked at her face that was pain stricken few hours back. Why couldn't he see her in pain? Why his heart tugged on seeing her collapsing in front of him? Why could he suffer any amount of pain himself but not bear to see her suffer even for a moment? Till yesterday it was only she who could feel his agony but today even he could feel what she was going through. For him pain was not painful until it dared to pain her.

His knuckles touched her face while tucking her in. She was soft, delicate and tender. His eyes stayed at her, he didn't know what was drawing him towards her but whatever it was, it was only deepening their relationship.

Sensing his closeness and touch , her heart began pounding loudly and she opened her eyes after sighing deeply. She looked at him with something very fragile in her eyes. His lips parted slightly while his long slender fingers uncurled to caress her cheek. She had no clue what was going inside him, all she knew was that she was drowning in his dark pools.

He gazed deeply into her eyes , silently questioning how she was doing? To which she simply blinked them assuring that she was fine. His unconditional concern, his soft caress and his warmth, all were seeping into her body. A dark shade crimson rising to her cheeks only reaffirmed that she had given away her heart to him, that she was in love!

Thanks for reading

Rose