Posted:
Hello everyone,
I am back again with yet again an OS based on the current track. Since I was kinda frustrated with the new track that was coming up, I just came out with my version of it. Hope you guys like it. Please do leave your comments as they help me always in making it better.
Special thanks and mention to Anna for encouraging me to work on this OS and guiding me through itđ¤.
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MM mansion:
Swara was walking down the stairs holding Shomi's hand. She was constantly looking back towards her Sanskaar and he was constantly looking at her. Tears did blur their vision but were still able to see each other's pain until they both got vanished from each other's vicinity. Swara was on her way back to baadi.
Sanskaar slowly went back to his room. The thunder of thoughts within him were like a blazing tornado which was slowly taking away his peace. Kavita tried calling him but he didn't listen to her and was lost in his own thoughts. Sujata and Annapurna tried to stop him as well, but he just wanted to be left alone and requested them to leave him alone. They kept knocking at his door when Kavita approached them and said "Rehne dijiye aunty, sayaad Sanskaar ko kuch waqt akele rehena hai". Helplessly both Annapurna and Sujata left with Kavita.
Truth to be told, Sanskaar didn't want to be alone. He needed someone by his side where he could share his pain, where someone could understand his pain and his unsaid words. He felt suffocated. But the person who could do that excellently was not by his side. He missed her. The entire turn of events since the start of the new year party were flashing back in his memory. From his coming across Kavita, to her hugging him and asking him to come back in her life. From him declaring how Swara was his wife, and the family revealing how they were heading for divorce and Kavita asking Swara to help her unite with Sanskaar. He still remembers her broken face when she saw him hugging Kavita. He still remembers the momentary spark of happiness in her eyes when he had acknowledged her as his wife in front of Kavita. He remembers the the deep anguish he saw in her eyes when then family was talking about their divorce and when Kavita asked Swara to give him away to her. She did look at him, his eyes, as if she was trying to read them. She was trying to figure out what exactly did he want. Did he want her to yes to Kavita and leave his life forever? Did he want her to say no to Kavita and just come back in his life? But all she could see was shock that was his silence was depicting ever since he saw Kavita back and alive. She nodded for the heck of it trying to add something more to it but she couldnt say anything further as Kavita took her nod as her acceptance. That pained Sanskaar even more and made him angry. She tried walking away from there, when Shomi tried to stop her and say something but Swara stopped her as well. They both started leaving when Sanskaar's heart started beating so fast that it felt like it would just stop any minute. It was as if Swara heard that and she looked back at him, in his eyes and he did the same. He saw the pain in her eyes. He saw the anguish in her eyes. The same pain and anguish that he had when he thought that Swara had decided to go back to Laksh's life. The thought of losing Swara then almost killed him and broke his heart into million pieces. And the thought of losing her again, and that she wouldn't even try to come back in his life again broke him to million pieces. He took his phone out and started staring her picture. His anger for her mistrust was subsiding. The pain he saw in her eyes for him was taking over his anger for her. His heart started aching even more. It just shouted, "Why didn't you stop her?". Sanskaar said to himself, "But how would I have conveyed that too Swara and Kavita?" With the mention of Kavita, Sanskaar realized, all this while he has just been thinking about Swara and him and Kavita was no where near the vicinity of his thoughts. It was Swara, all over his mind, heart and soul. Maybe, he would still have a very soft corner for Kavita but it was definitely not love anymore. He started thinking of the time he came back to revenge her death and almost completely spoiled Swara's life. Seeing Kavita alive, he kept questioning himself, "Was that all worth it Sanskaar?" He recalled how broken she was then, but how she still fought for her family and justice and how he was an equal participant in that. He remembered how she had asked him to back out multiple times, but he didn't as he wanted to help her and save her in every way possible and do all the right things for her for all the wrongs he had bestowed on her for his revenge. Now, the feeling of guilt started taking over his conscience. He just felt so choked and suffocated that he just wanted to leave this place and disappear forever. He started walking around in his room like a crazy homeless person who is looking for some peace. He came by the window and saw something really strange. Durga Prasad was going somewhere at this hour of the night, that too sneakingly. He felt that was really strange and decided to follow him.
Baadi:
After coming back to baadi, Swara and Shomi went to Swara's room. Swara had been silent from the moment they had left MM. She was walking and sitting like a lifeless body, lost in her own pool of thoughts. She didn't even realize that they had reached her room. She was trying so hard to not to let those tears fall out of her eyes but finally when Shomi shook her and cupped her face and begged her to say something, Swara finally fell on the floor and started crying hiding her face between her hands. Her outbursts was so loud and was filled with so much pain and anguish that it felt like even god would have cried with her if he was around her. Shomi just sat down in front of her, unable to bear the state of her child and took her in her tight embrace. She let her cry by slowly patting her back and crying along with her.
Swara: "Ma, kyun mere saath hamesha aisa hi hota hai? Kyun meri zindagi main koi bhi khushi permanent nahi rehti? Har bar, meri zindagi main pyaar sirf dastak dekar chala jata hai? Kya main itni bhuri hu ma? Kya main pyaar ke layak nahin ho maa?"
Shomi: "Nahin Shona, aisa nahin hai. Tu mera sabse acha bacha hai. Tu toh zindagi ki har khushi ke layak hai."
Swara: "Maine apne pyaar ko kho diya ma. Mera pyaar phirse adhura reh gaya ma, phirse adhura reh gaya. Maine Sanskaar ko kho diya ma. Kaise jeeyungi main uske bina ma? Nahin jee sakti main ma" choking on her own words.
Shomi: "Shhh!!! Bas Shona bas. Sab thik ho jayega. Bas". Shomi tried calming her down but nothing seemed to help her and she felt so helpless for seeing her child in so much pain. Swara kept crying for a long time now. As soon as her sobs were decreasing, Shomi asked her to get up, took her to her bed and made her lie on her lap. Swara held Shomi even more tightly now and kept sobbing silently. Shomi kept caressing her head. Shomi kept pleading to god to bestow some mercy on her child as she has have faced enough and has gone through enough injustice. She doesn't deserve to be in pain for always being a selfless. She doesn't deserve to be punished for all those mistakes that others have committed.
While following Durga Prasad, Sanskaar saw him entering Baadi. Sanskaar was shocked and surprised thinking why would his bade papa go to Baadi at this hour of the night and that too sneakingly. He was now in a dilemma whether he should follow him further or not. His brain kept denying him but his heart forced him to still follow his Bade papa. Finally giving up between the fight of brain and heart, Sanskaar decided to follow his heart and followed his bade papa such that Durga Prasad cannot notice him.
As Durga Prasad came near Swara's room, he saw his soul daughter completely broken, lying lifelessly, in her mom's lap. That scene broke him and he felt completely responsible for her condition. He had tears in his eyes to see her in that state. He knocked lightly on the door. Swara heard the knock and got up from Shomi's lap thinking and happily hoping that it could be Sanskaar and said "Sankaar, tum aa...". The moment she saw that it was her bade papa, disappointment glared from her eyes again. She tried hiding her pain but both Shomi and Durga Prasad were aware of the hell she was going through within herself.
Swara: "Bade papa, aap yaha? Sab thik hai na? Ragini ne kuch phirse kiya toh nahin?"
Durga prasad was shocked. The girl who was in so much pain, thanks to him and his family still cared for them and was still ready to fight for them if anything happened to them. He kept cursing himself for being the reason of her pain.
Durga Prasad: "Kis mitti se bani ho tum Swara? Humne tumhare se itna bura kiya, phir bhi tumhe hamari hi fikar hai? Humne apne aap ko bachne ke liye, tumhara ghar ujaad diya, tumse dhoke se divorce papers pe sign liye, aur phir bhi tum humse ese baat kar rahi ho, jaise kuch huva hi nahin?"
Sanskaar and Shomi both were shocked at the revelation. Sanskaar couldnt believe his ears that it was actually his bade papa who had actually and falsely led Swara to sign those divorce papers. Sanskaar recalled the mandir incident when Swara had confessed and begged him to trust her and her love. She had confessed that she did sign the papers but she had no idea that those papers were divorce papers. He definitely didn't believe the alimony clause of the divorce but he did believe that she would have signed the papers by her consent. He closed his eyes in pain and anger for not trusting her then when she was actually swearing in front of god.
Shomi's anger rose at this sudden revelation. Until now she thought, it was Ragini who did this to her sister. But when she got to know that it was Durga Prasad who under pressurization did that to Swara, she couldnt take it anymore.
Shomi: "Kab tak Durga Prasad ji, kab tak? Kab tak aap ke parivaar ke wajah se meri beti sazaa bhugati rahegi? Kya taras nahin aata aap sab ko meri bacchi par? Jise dekho woh sab uska aur uski achai ka istemaal karte rehte hai. Beti mana tha na aapne Swara ko? Toh kese kar diya aapne ye apni beti ke saath? Durga Prasad ji, maa baap apne bacho ki khushi ke liye har tarah ki takleef bardaast kar lete hai. Aur aapne, meri beti ko hi aag main dhakel dia? Uski zindagi barbaad kar di. Halat dekhiye uski, pal pal mar rahi hai meri bacchi. Aapko use apni beti kehne ka koi haq nahin hai DurgaPrasad ji"
Swara: "Bas ma, rehne do"
Shomi: "Nahin Shona, ab nahin.." Durga Prasad interrupted then and said "Mat roko apni ma ko Swara. Woh bikul thik keh rahi hai. Hume koi haq nahin hai tumhe apni beti kehne ka. Humne tumhare saath bohot badi nainsaafi ki hai. Tumse tumhara pyaar chin liya humne. Kaha hum tumhe saari khusiyaan dena chahte the, aur humne tumhe zindagi bhar ka gum de diya. Apne parivaar ko bachane ke swarth main humne tumhari aur Sanskaar ki khusiyoon ki bali chadha di. Aur hum iske liye bohot hi zyada sharminda hai. Isiliye hum yaha aaye hai tumhare pass, saza maange ke liye. Swara, hume sazaa do beta, warna hum apne hi sharmindagi main mar jayenge"
Shomi: "Uske ab kya hoga Durga Prasad ji?"
Swara: "Maa bas, please!! Bade papa, mujhe aapse ya kisi se bhi, koi sikayat nahin hai. Main jaanti thi, aap majboor the. Aap please apne aap ko is guilt se mukt kar dijiye"
Durga Prasad: "Hume yun hi maaf karke aur sharminda mat karo Swara"
Swara: "Beti hoon na mai aapki bade papa, aur betiyaan kabhi bhi apne baba se naraaz nahin hoti. Aap fikar mat kijiye. Main bilkul thik hoon." Durga Prasad couldnt say anything else. He just put his hands on her forehead to proudly bless her and decided to leave after apologetically folding his hands in front of Swara and Shomi. Shomi just looked away in anger not ready to acknowledge his apology this time.
Durga Prasad left. He didn't notice that Sanskaar was standing right outside the room and heard everything. Sanskaar's guilt was taking over his senses yet again. The one thing he wanted to do was protect himself from another heart break and thats why he wasnt ready to yet accept Swara's love and her confession. And more, he wanted to protect his family without getting distracted. The amount of nuisance was so much at that time, that even if he believed in her innocence that time, he wasnt able to convey it to her. It was like he did believe her, but he still didn't want to believe her. He had built that wall around himself to not let her pleadings affect him in any way. The sudden unfold of truths and events were just giving him hard time to cope up with it and he became even more restless. His guilt and her pain was taking over his anger and he was finally able to see through her pain and her honest confession. Flashes of her love confession kept going through his mind. For a moment, he felt like running to his Swara and just hugging her. But he couldnt. He was about to leave when he heard Shomi asking Swara about this matter and decided to further stay and listen to their conversation.
Shomi: "Tum mujhe hamesha aadhi adhuri baat kyun kehti ho? Kyun tumne mujhe nahin bataya, ki yeh sab Durga Prasad ji ne kiya hai?"
Swara: "Kehkar kya faida hota ma, Ragini ne jo karwana tha woh hogaya. Humara divorce hogaya."
Shomi: "Esse kese divorce hogaya? Tumhe phasaya gaya hai. Iss divorce ko null and void saabit kiya jaa sakta hai? Iss divorce ko ab bhi roka jaa sakta hai?"
Swara: "Aab kuch nahin ho sakta ma" Tears falling down her eyes.
Shomi: "Kyun nahin ho sakta? Tum Sanskaar se pyaar karti ho. Woh tumse karta hai. Toh phir? Kya tumhe uske pyaar par bharosa nahi hai? Kya tumhe yeh lagta hai ki Kavita ke wapas aa jane se woh uske pass chala jayega aur tumhe bhool jayega?"
Sanskaar came closer to the door to listen to Swara's answer. Mistrust from her side was responsible for the state that they both were in right now. He wanted to know whether she still doubted him on his love or support.
Swara: "Mujhe Sanskaar ke pyaar par pura bharosa hai ma. Uske pyaar par sawal toh main kar hi nahin sakti. Uske pyaar ke samne toh mera pyaar kuch hai bhi nahi ma. Main jaanti hoon, woh aaj bhi mujhse bohot pyaar karta hai. Uski aakhon main maine aaj bhi sirf aapne aap ko paya hai"
Shomi: "Toh problem kya hai?"
Swara: "Main khud hu. Aur meri kismat. Mujhe meri kismat par ab bharosa nahi hai ma. Meri life main koi khushi ya pyaar permanent rehta hi nahin ma. Bachpan se ek happy family ka sapna dekha. Aur kya mila. Ek esi behen, jo sirf meri zindagi tabaah karna chahti hai. Pehli baar pyaar hua, toh us pyaar ne sabse kathin samay main mera saath chod diya. Phir se mera vishwas tod diya. Aur jab phir pyaar ka ehsaas hua, toh maine der kar di. Maine uske vishwas ko tod diya. Maa, Sanskaar ke liye ek rishte main pyaar se badhkar kuch zaroori hai toh woh hai Vishwas. Aur maine toh woh hi kho diya. Bohot kosish ki maine, par usse mujhpar bharosa hi nahin ho raha hai. Use yeh laga ki main mahan banna chahti hoon, isiliye main uske parivaar ko bacha rahi thi. Woh yeh baat manne ko taiyaar hi nahin tha ki main yeh ussi ke liye woh sab kar rahi thi. Main jaanti ho woh apne parivaar ko takleef main nahin dekh sakta. Aur main use takleef main nahin dekh sakti. Meri awaz uske dil tak pohoch hi nahi rahi hai ma"
Shomi: "Toh main usse baat karti hoon, main samjhaungi usse..."
Swara interrupting her: "Nahin maa, aap Sanskaar se koi baat nahin karengi. Aur usse influence toh bilkul nahin karengi. Sanskaar ne aaj tak mujhpe apna koi faisla nahin thopa aur nahin kisi aur ko essa karne dia. Toh main bhi essa nahin hone de sakti. Main jaanti ki main use pyaar karti hoon. Lekin main yeh bhi chahti hoon, ke jab woh mujhe aapnaya, toh apni saari MU khud clear karke aapnaye. Na ki kisi aur ke kehne par. Maa, Sanskaar apne saare faisle bohot hi soch samaj kar leta hai. Aur woh jo bhi faisla lega mujhe manzoor hoga."
Shomi: "Agar uska faisla tumhare khilaaf hoga toh? Agar usne Kavita ko apna liya toh?" Fearing the loss of her daughters happiness
Swara: "Kehte hain na maa, zindagi main har kisi ko mukammal jahan nahin milta. Agar aisa hua toh main haste haste apne kadam piche khich lungi. Uski khushi mere liye bohot maiene rakti hai. Uski zindagi main roshni lane ke liya, main har aag main jalne ke liya taiyaar hoon. Pyaar khuddar hota hai maa, khudgarz nahin."
Shomi: "Beta lekin jab tak woh koi faisla nahin le leta, tab tak toh tum apni koshish kayam rakh sakti hon na?"
Swara: "Is waqt mujhe koshish ki nahin padi hai ma. Mujhe iss waqt Sanskaar ki fikar ho rahi hai. Woh iss waqt bohot hi badi uljhaan main phasa hoga. Achanak apne pehle pyaar ko iss tarah zinda dekhkar woh bohot hi confused hoga. Main jaanti hoon usse ma, woh kuch kehta nahin hai, lekin woh bohot hi dard main hoga. Ghar par sabko essa lagega ki use akela chod dena chahiye, lekin esse main usse akela rehna acha nahin lagta. Woh aur bhi dard main chala jata hai. Par woh kisi ko bhi apne pass itni aasani se aane nahin dega. Kaash main uske pass hoti. Kamse kam woh apna dard toh baat pata. Usske saath beth kar, kuch na kehkar bhi woh bohot kuch keh deta. Kavita ki maut, uska achanak uske samne aana, uska guilt, bohot kuch akele jhel raha hoga woh iss waqt. Mujhe uski bohot fikar ho rahi hai maa"
Listening to her worries, Sanskaar was shocked to know as to how much Swara knew him so well. She knew it was her who he needed the most during this hour of crisis. She was absolutely right in judging his state of mind right now. His brain started fighting with his heart again. His brain asked him to leave right away and not to trust anything right now. But his heart wanted him to run to her, take her in his embrace and get all his pain out. His heart was finally melting towards her genuine love, care and concern. Yes, his heart did believe her first confession too. But his brain wasnt letting his heart win and forced his heart to not to trust her then. He didn't know what to do.
Shomi: "Toh phir jaa uske pass."
Swara: "Kese jau maa?. Kis haq se jau?. Main apni galti se apne sabse ache dost ko kho diya. Mujhse dhoke se ek patni hona ka haq chin liya gaya. Aur, mere pyaar par toh woh bharosa hi nahin karta. Dar lagata hai, mere jaane se kahin uske liye cheeze aur bhi mushkil naa ho jaaye"
Suddenly they heard some noise and Shomi went outside to check and saw Sanskaar trying to switch off his cellphone. She was happy to see him there and felt like a ray of hope for her daughters happiness. She pulled him inside Swara's room, much to his resistance and asked Swara to see towards her direction. Swara was happily shocked to see him there and almost ran towards him and just stood in front of him, lovingly staring him. Shomi left the room leaving the two alone. They both were lost in each others eyes. Suddenly, Sanskaar came back to reality and he decided to leave. He was scared he would end up giving Swara any false hope before coming into any conclusion. The moment he started walking back, swear ran to him and gave him a tight back hug. He was startled again.
Sanskaar: "Swara, main bade papa ke liye aaya tha. Please mujhe jaane do..."
Swara: "Shhh, Sanskaar, aaj main tumhe apne liye nahin rok rahin hoon. Main tumhe tumhare liye rok rahin hoon. Main nahin jaanti ki mere pass aaj yeh haq hai yah nahi, lekin main tumhare pass rehkar tumhare dard ko batana chahti hoon. Tumhari kasmakas ko sujhana chahti hoon. Agar tum chaho, toh main kuch nahin bolungi. Hum koi baat nahin karenge. Nahin hi hamare bare, nahin Kavita ke baare main. Main tumhe esse waqt main akele nahin chodna chahti. Main use ghar main nahin aa sakti, Ragini ki wajah se aur uss kasam ki wajah se jo maine khai thi ki jab tak main tumhare man ko nahin jeet leti, tab tak main nahin aaungi. Lekin jab tum yahan aa hi chuke ho, toh please ruk jao. I promise main tumhe kisi cheez ki liye force nahin karungi aur nahin kisi aur ko karne doongi. Please rook jao. Please?"
Sanskaar was still silent and didn't say anything. He was standing still, trying to figure out what exactly he should do. Yes, he knew he needed someone by his side right now. And if that someone who his Swara, that would have been great for him. Even though he was mad at her, he knew Swara knew well enough to judge his silence. Atleast, she did prove it right now to him when he heard her conversation with Shomi. Yes, he needed her. He needed his best friend. He needed her out of everyone the most. Especially right now. And he finally let his heart win over his brain and decided to stay back. He just held Swara's hand tightly while she was hugging him. Swara exactly took as his acceptance of her request to stay and was quite happy about it. She broke the hug, thanked him and quietly closed her room.
Swara lovingly stared at him again. She made him sit on her bed and got some water for him. He drank it and they both were awkwardly sitting by each other's side. Swara knew she cannot start any conversation right now until he wants. So she just looked in his eyes. They looked so tired, worned out and filled with millions of emotions. She just wished that she could take him in her embrace and take all his pain away. Similarly, when Sanskaar looked in Swara's eyes, all he could was the care, concern and longing for him in her eyes. He wished to take her in his embrace and take her pain away. They both tears for each other which were fighting to fall out of their eyes in any moment. Swara signaled Sanskaar to sleep in her lap to which Sanskaar immediately agreed. He put his head on her lap and immediately found solace and peace that he had been looking for since last few days. Swara was lovingly caressing his hair with her hands. Her finally found peace thinking that atleast she was with him during his toughest phase of his life. Sanskaar even though wasnt yet ready to show it, he was slowly believing in Swara's love for him. Swara was doing exactly the same thing he would have done if he was at her place. He remembered, when Swara was in denial of his love, she insulted him too. Yet he supported her through thick and thin and made sure she was ok. She is doing the same thing too. Ignoring his rudeness and denial, she is trying to be his support and making sure he is ok. What more can he ask for? But he still needed to test his waters before he can jump into final conclusion. Swara wanted to know what exactly was going on in his mind right now but didn't dare to ask him. Seeing that he was already asleep in her lap peacefully, she let him sleep. His peace was her at most priority and rest everything else could wait. She carefully gave a small peck on Sanskaar's forehead and caressed his head once again. And slowly she drifted to sleep as well.
In the middle of the night, Swara felt some movement. She opened her eyes and found Sanskaar sweating a little bit with his head moving left and right with feared expressions. Sanskaar was having his nightmare where he was seeing all the flashes of the events yet again. From the death of Kavita, to his comeback for revenge in 5 years, him trying to destroy Laksh and Durga Prasad and trying to spoil Swara's life, Swara almost getting killed, their mission together, Swara's mistrust, Swara's confession, Kavita's return and her proposal. Lot of emotions were again pooping up in Sanskaar's mind. He just turned around so hard and unknowingly hugged Swara by her stomach such that his hands were around her waist and he was hiding his face on her stomach. Swara was shocked and felt a very pleasure sensation at his touch. But she also felt that he was struggling again with his pool of emotions. She just held him by circling her arms around his head and tried to calm him down by tightly embracing him. Sanskaar relaxed yet again at her touch and slowly drifted to sleep. The night passed by in silence with the two trying to find peace in each other's solace.
Next morning, Sanskaar was the first one to wake up. He started moving his face and felt something really soft. He slowly opened his eyes and realized his position that he was sleeping. He was still hugging Swara by her waist. He got up a little and saw her sleeping in a sitting position. She was looking really angelic while sleeping. Her one hand was on his head and other hand was on his shoulder. He kept wondering as to how did he end up in this position and second of all, why did Swara let him be in this position? He slowly tried to get up which actually woke up Swara. She slowly opened her eyes only to find him almost ready to leave her place. She noticed the signs of awkwardness and guilt on his face. Swara thought to herself "He hasn't spoken a single word. He needs to speak up. I need to stop him. He cannot hold his emotions in him. He needs to get them out". Swara tried to stop him and he first feared to turn to find her awkward about the position they were sleeping in. But when he turned, all he could find was a smile on her face. There was no sign of guilt or awkwardness at all. "What was that?" He questioned himself.
Swara: "Sanskaar, kya tum meri aakhri baat maan sakte ho? Kya tum mere saath ghat chaloge? Please?"
He needed to know and he needed to test her feelings for him. So without questioning her any further, he decided to go with her. They both reached the ghat and Swara signaled Sanskaar to sit on the stairs beside her. He obliged.
Ghat:
Swara: "Sanskaar, main jaanti hoon hamare bich iss waqt cheeze normal nahin hai. Par kya iss ek pal ke liya hum hamare bich ka tanav bhula nahin sakte? Kya hum pehele ki tarah, apni baatien share nahin kar sakte? Tumhe yaad hai Sanskaar, hum kese hamari saari baatien ek dusre se bina chupaye discuss karte the. Kya hum aaj ke yeh woh nahin kar sakte?"
Sanskaar: "Tum kya discuss karna chahti ho Swara?"
Swara: "Wohi, jo tumhare dil main hai. Woh baatien jo naa jane tumhe kabse pareshaan kar rahi. Tumhe un baaton ko apne dil ke bahar aane ka rasta dena hi padega. Warna woh baatien tumhe pareshaan karti rahegi. Main jaanti hoon tum apni dil ki baatien sab ko nahin batate. Lekin mujhe toh bata sakte ho? Haa, main jaanti halat iss waqt thik nahin hai? Phir bhi, koshish karke ke dekho, sayad tumhe sukoon mile?"
Sanskaar: "Dil ki baatien apno ko batayi jaati hai.."
Swara: "Toh ajnabee samaj ke hi batado. Yaad hai, pehli baar jab tumne apne baare main mujhe bataya tha, tab bhi main ek ajnabee hi thi na. Jab tumne mujhe apne aur Kavita ke rishte ke baare main bataya tha. Apni saachai mujhe batayi thi. Yaad hai na? Tabhi main tumhari dost nahin thi. Sirf ek ajnabee aur tumhare bhai ki hone wali..."
Sanskaar remembered that night when he saved Swara from the hands of Mohini and later had confessed to everything he had done to her so far and why he had done what he did to her. And how Swara showed him the right path then and from then on, he was on his right path and there was no looking back for him. The anger and the guilt was rising together once again in him.
Sanskaar: "Kya kahu main tumhe Swara? Yeh, ki main bohot hi guilty hoon uss har ek zakam ke liye jo maine tumhe uss waqt diya tha. Do you want me to say that I feel like a fool now for holding on to the hate feeling and staying away from my family for the love I thought was dead? For wasting 5 years of my life? For taking the revenge path? For spoiling your life? For dragging your sister into the mess? For trying to ruin Bade Papa and Laksh? Yes, I am very guilty, very frustrated and I do feel like a fool now for doing something like that. Mujhe is waqt kuch samaj main nahin aa raha hai Swara aur main bohot gusse main hoon. Mujhe nahin pata main kya kar bethongaa. Mujhse apne pagalpan main jo bhi bra hua, maine usse thik karna chaha. Chahe woh tumhare saath ho, ya apni family ke saath. Maine apni galtia sudharne ki koshish ki, uss mauke ko apni strength banakar jo tumne mujhe diya tha, meri Saachia jaanene ke baad. Sab sahi jaa haha tha hamare bich. Tumhare saath main mujhe meri ek sabse achi dost mili jise main pyaar karne laga par tumse kabhi bhi pyaar ki umeed nahi rakhi. Hamari dosti par garv tha mujhe. Lekin tumne usse tod diya. Aur phir achanak ek din mera pehla pyaar meri zindagi main wapas aa jata hai?.Tumhe pata bhi hai Swara paisa lagta hai jab tum apne pehle pyaar ko is tarah apne samne pate ho, woh bhi tab jab tumne use mara hua maan lia ho? Woh pyaar tumse mujhe mangta hai aur tum mujhse pyaar karne ka dava karne ke bawajood, mujhe use soop dene ko taiyaar ho jaati ho? Jese main koi khilona hoon? Kya samaj ke rakha hai sabne mujhe? Aur phir kal mujhe pata chalta hai ki meri shaadi ko todne wale koi aur nahin, mere hi bade papa hai jo kuch waqt pehle mujhse iss baat se naraz the ki main tumhare saath apne rishte ko thik se mauka nahin de raha hoon? Log kyun apni baatien itni jaldi badal dete hai. Thak chuka hoon main inn saari cheezo se. Man karta hai kahi aur chala jau jaha koi mujhe doondh hi na paaye." Sanskaar finally was able to get everything out of his chest. Swara was right. He indeed did feel better after getting his frustration out. He just let out a small breath and looked towards her. She had tears in her eyes. She felt pained thinking about the amount of pain he had been carrying within him since days and more on the fact that she was majorly responsible for his pain.
Sanskaar: "Ab khush? Jaan liya na tumne sab? Ab main jaa sakta hoon?" And with that, Sanskaar gets up and starts walking. Swara called him again and he stopped. He turned towards her and found her sitting still. She slowly got up and turned towards him.
Swara: "Thank you Sanskaar, apni bhadaas ko bahar nikaalne ke liye. Warna mujhe pata hi nahin chalta ki maine tumhe kis had tak hurt kiya hai. Main nahin jaanti ki tum mujhpar kabhi bharosa kar paoge ya nahin, lekin main dil se apni saari galtio ki maafi mangti hoon. I am really sorry Sanskaar. Anjaane main hi sahi, main hi tumhari takleef ki sabse badi wahaj ban gai. Ho sake toh mujhe maaf kar dena. Aur tumhe apne past ke liye guilty feel karne ki koi zarurat nahin hai. Woh ek bhura daur tha, jo guzar gaya. Usse na toh tum badal sakte ho, nahin main. Aur tumne meri life barbaad nahi ki hai. Tumne toh meri life ko sawara hai. Mere sabse bure waqt main, tum mera sabse bada sahara the. Tumne na toh meri himmat ko tutne dia, na mere vishwas ko. Tumne mere liye woh kiya hai, jo mere khoon ke rishte bhi mere liye na kar sake. Yeh kehna munasib hoga ki main tumpar khud se zyada bharosa karti hoon."
Sanskaar: "Ek minute Swara. Bharosa tumhare mooh se acha nahin lagta. Agar itna hi bharosa karti ho mujhpar toh kyon tumne uss waqt mujhpar woh ilzaam lagaya tha?" looking angrily towards her and holding her tightly by her shoulders.
Swara: "Kash mere pass usska koi dhang ka explanation hota Sanskaar. Kash!! Main khud uss waqt ko kos rahi hoon jis waqt mujhse woh galti ho gayi. Roz sazaa deti hoon khudko, essi galti karne ke liye. Is baat ka pachtava kal bhi tha mujhe, aaj bhi hai aur zindagi bhar rahega. Main uss pal ka tumhe jo bhi explanation doongi, woh mera ek bahana samjha jaayega. Jo main nahin chahti. Lekin itna zarur kahungi Sanskaar, ki kabhi kabhi insaan ka dimaag kaam karne ka band ho jata. Sahi aur galat kabhi samaj main nahin aata. Aur maine apni nasamjhi main, apni zindagi ki sabse badi galti kardi. Bohot koshish ki uss galti ko sudharne ki. Aur agar zindagi bhar mujhe usse sudharne ki koshish karni pade, toh main karungi. Tumhare saath ki hui har zyati ko main sudharne ki hamesha koshish karungi. Apni aakhri saas tak."
Sanskaar: "Tumhari koshish dekh raha hoon main. Kese tum mere life ke decisions le rahi hoon. Jese hi Kavita ne mujhe tumse manga, tumne use haa kardi? Ek baar mujhse janna zaruri nahin samjha ki main kya chahta hoon?"
Swara: "Isiliye toh tumhari taraf dekha tha maine, yeh janane ke liye ki tum kya chahte ho. Tumne mooh pher liya aur tumhari aakhein sirf dard baya kar rahi thi. Tumhari aakhon main maine apne liye sirf narazgi dekhi. Mujhe samaj nahi aaya ki main uss kya kahu, isiliye main waha se uss haa keh kar chali aai. Woh decision toh tumhara hi hoga Sanskaar. Main tumhe kabhi bhi Kavita ko accept karne ke liye, ya mujhe accept karne ke liye force nahin karungi. I know I dont have that right. Main jaanti hoon, tum apna har faisla, dil se lete ho, soch samajh kar lete ho. Toh, apna yeh faisla bhi tum esse hi loge."
Sanskaar: "Agar main lambe waqt tak tumhare aur Kavita ke bich koi faisla nahin kar paya toh? Tum kya karogi?"
Swara: "Apne daayre main rehkar, tumhare khoye hue Vishwas aur pyaar ko jitne ki koshish karti rahungi"
Sanskaar: "Aur agar maine kavita ko chuna toh?"
Swara: "Main tumhare raaste se hat jaungi. Tumhari khushi se badhkar mere liye kuch nahin hai Sanskaar. Meri apni zindagi bhi nahin"
Sanskaar said "Hmmm" and took his phone out. Swara also said mentioned "Sanskaar, main jaanti hoon ki tumhe mere pyaar par bharosa nahin hai. Tummy yeh lagta ki main apne guilt ko sayad apne pyaar ka naam de rahi hoon. Par essa nahin hai Sanskaar. Maine apni zindagi main, pyaar ke naam par bohot hi badi thokar khayi hai. Isiliye main jaanti uska dard kya hota hai. Aur isiliye main kabhi bhi pyaar ke naam par koi mazak nahin karungi yaa koi jhooth nahin bolungi." Tears rolled down from her eyes now. He felt the sudden urge to wipe them off but he still controlled himself. He called laksh immediately and asked them to come to ghat alongwith Kavita and Shomi ma and Shekhar baba. He mentioned that he had a very important announcement to make in front of everyone. That shocked both Swara and Laksh. Laksh questioned him about his announcement but Sanksaar ignored it and asked him to come to ghat asap. Swara's heart was crazily pounding. Somewhere she knew the announcement could be related to the destiny of her relationship with him. She felt nervous.
Soon everyone came to ghat. As soon as Kavita saw Sanskaar, she ran to him and hugged him. Swara felt a pang of jealousy looking at them which wasnt gone unnoticed by Sanskaar.
Kavita: "Kaha the tum Sanskaar? Main kitna pareshaan ho gayi thi? Uttara ne mujhe bataya ki tum saari raat ghar par nahin the? Kahan the tum? Aur Swara? Tum yahan Sanskaar ke saath kya kar rahi hoo?"
Swara: "Nahin woh Kavita.."
Sanskaar: "Maine Swara ko yahan bulaya tha. Kuch zaroori baat karni hai sabse."
Kavita: "Haa par, Swara ka usme kya lena dena hai?"
Sanskaar: "Lena dena hai Kavita. Swara aaj bhi meri patni hai. Hamara divorce abhi tak mukammal nahin hua hai"
That again brought a spark of happiness in Swara's eyes as she was yet again acknowledged as his wife by him. Sanskaar noticed that too. Sanskaar went towards Kavita and held her by her shoulders.
Sanskaar: "Kavita, main yaha aaj jo sabse kehne jaa raha hoon, woh hamare zindagi se juda huva hai. Meri, tumhari aur Swara ki zindagi se. Bohot hi sochne ke baad maine yeh ek faisla liya hai."
Kavita: "Kesa faisla Sanskaar?"
Sanskaar: "Uss faisle ko batane se pehle, mujhe kuch aur bhi kehna hai. Kavita, mera aur tumhara saath wakai hi mere liye sabse khoosurat saath tha. Ek essa saath, jo meri zindagi ki sabse acchii yaadon main hamesha rahega. Tum woh pehli insaan ho jisne meri zindagi main pehle pyaar ke roop main dastak di. Woh pal bohot hi yaadgaar the. Maine apne aap ko usme dhaal diya tha. Sayad iss had tak ki, ja maine tumhe kho diya, toh tumhare maut ka apne parivaar ko zimmedaar theherakar, unhe barbaad karna chaha. Iss kadar nafrat main doob gaya tha ki ek innocent ladki ki zindagi bhi maine barbaad kar di. Jis Sanskaar ko tumne pyaar kiya tha, maine uss Sanskaar ko khatam kar dia tha. 5 saal tak badle ki aag main maine apne aap ko jalaya aur apne parivaar se dur rehkar unhe bhi dard dia."
Everyone had tears in their eyes while Sanskaar was stating his feelings to Kavita.
Sanskaar continued: "Phir meri zindagi main ek farista aaya. Mujhe uss fariste ne sahi rasta dikhaya. Mujhe ehsaas dilaya ki main kitna galat hu. Uss fariste ne mujhe mere parivaar se phirse milwa diya. Woh Sanskaar jo mar chuka tha, jise kabhi tumne pyaar kiya tha, uss Sanskaar ko phirse jaga diya."
Everyone was now looking towards Swara who was silently sobbing looking down. Annapurna who was standing by her side, held her hands tightly, giving her a praising nod.
Sanskaar: "Kavita, woh farista wohi hi ladki thi jiski zindagi barbaad karne main nikla tha, apne jhoote revenge ke chakkar main. Uss ladki ne mere dard ko samjha aur meri saari galat harkato ke liye mujhe maaf kar dia. Aur mujhe ek mauka diya apni zindagi ki ek nayi shuruwaat karne ka. Aur maine ki bhi"
Kavita with confused expression: "Yeh sab bohot acha hai Sanskaar, lekin mujhe samaj nahi aa raha hai tum mujhe yeh sab kyun keh rahe ho?"
Sanskaar: "Batata hoon Kavita. Yeh sab isliye hai kyunki maine jo faisla kiya hai woh iss sab ke base par liya hai. Ab jo main tumhe kehne jaa raha hoon woh tumhe dhyaan se sunna hoga. Kavita, tum mere liye hamesha se special thi aur hamesha rahogi." Fearing rejection, Swara started moving back which was noticed by Sanskaar. He stopped her and said "Swara, dost ho na tum meri. Kya meri khushi main tum shamil nahi ho sakti? Tumne vada kiya tha na mujhe?" Swara was shocked. She didn't know what to do. It was really hard for her to see him go to his first love. But she had to see that since she had promised him her support for whatever decision he would take. She turned and said "Ofcourse Sanskaar" and gave a teary smile to him.
Annapurna to Durga Prasad: "Yeh Sanskaar kya kar raha hai? Agar woh Kavita ke pass jaba chahta hai toh jaa sakta hai. Lekin iss tarah Swara ko kyun tadpa raha hai? Uski halat toh dekho?"
Sanskaar: "Kavita, tum aur hamara rishta hamesha mere liye special rahega. Tumhare liye mere dil main hamesha ek soft corner rahega. Ek special wala. Lekin"
Kavita: "Lekin kya Sanskaar?"
Sanskaar: "Main tumse pyaar karta..." Swara closed her eyes filled with tears. She figured this would be the final goodbye between her and Sanskaar. Kavita's eyes were filled with confidence maybe overconfidence towards Sanskaar acceptance for her.
Sanskaar: "Main tumse pyaar karta tha Kavita. Ab nahi karta" Swara was shocked listening to that and looked with curiosity towards Sanskaar. She wanted to know where was he heading too.
Kavita: "What do you mean Sanskaar? Yeh kya baat hui? Pyaar karte the, ab nahi karte? 5 saalon tak main zinda rahi, tumhare pyaar ki wajah se. Tum 5 saalon tak ghut ghut kar jee rahe the, mere pyaar ke liye. Phir kya badal gaya Sanskaar?"
Sanskaar: "Badla kuch nahin hai Kavita. I know tumhe yeh samajne main aur accept karne main waqt lagega. But you have to understand that I have moved on. Main tumhare liye ab woh mehsus nahin karta."
Kavita: "Yeh sab kya keh rahe ho tum?"
Sanskaar: "Sirf sach. Aur yeh sach kehne ki himmat bhi mujhe usi ladki se mili hai. Kuch waqt pehle woh bhi issi dorahain pe khadi thi jab uska pehla pyaar har woh koshish kar raha tha ki woh uski zindagi main wapas aa jaye. Lekin woh nahin gayi. Kyunki woh jaanti thi ki woh ab usse pyaar nahin karti aur use kabhi khush nahin rakh payegi. Agar main tumhe aur hume aik mauka bhi doonga, phir bhi main tumhe woh khushi nahin de payunha jiski tum haqdaar ho Kavita. Isiliye, hamara phir se ek saath aana possible nahin hai"
Kavita: "Lagta hai uss ladki ne bohot his zyada impress kia hai tumne. Kahin woh reason to nahin, mere liye tumhare pyaar ka khatam ho jaane ki? Aisa lagta hai, jaise usne meri jagah leli hai, tumhari zindagi main"
Sanskaar: "Nahin Kavita. Woh reason zarur hai, lekin meri nayi zindagi ki. Meri khusiyoon ki wajah hai woh. Meri zindagi jeene ki wajah hai woh. Mera sab kuch ban chuki hai woh. Usne tumhari jagah nahi li hai lekin mere dil main ek nayi jagah banayi hai. Main bas itna janta hu Kavita ke main usse bohot pyaar karta hu, aur apni zindagi uske bina jeene ke baare main soch hi nahin sakta"
Kavita: "Aur kya woh ladki tumse pyaar karti hai? Tumne toh uski zindagi barbad karne ki koshish ki thi na?" Swara was eagerly waiting for his reply. She really wanted to know whether Sanskaar believe's in her love or not.
Sanskaar: "Haa, bohot pyaar karti hai mujhse. Mere jitna yah phir mujhse zyada. Aur woh bhi mere bina jee nahin sakti. Usse protect karni ki maine kasam khayi thi Kavita. Aur main uska dard ki wajah bilkul nahin bannana chahta. Agar main aur tum ek hue, toh teen zindagiyaan barbaad ho jayegi Kavita. Please samajhne ki koshish karo" Swara was thrilled at his confession. She didn't believe that he had finally believed her love for him and didn't doubt her feelings for him. She felt like she was on the top of the world. She just wanted to run to him, embrace him and tell him again and again how much she loved him.
Kavita: "hmmm I see. Who is the lucky girl? kya main uska naam jaan sakti hoon?"
Sanskaar: "Swara Sanskaar Maheshwari" He turned towards Swara who was standing at a distance from him. Her happiness knew no bounds. Her eyes were filled with tears of happiness. His acceptance of her love meant the world to her. He opened his arms and signaled her to come to him. She couldnt stop herself anymore. She just ran to him as fast as she could, jumped and embraced him by putting her hands around his neck. Sanskaar embraced her by putting his hands around her waist and lifted her and twirled her around. He hid face in her neck such that his lips were almost touching her neck. They both were just lost in each others embrace. Everyone were happy and celebrating the reunion of the two true lovers. They blessed the eternal couple with life long togetherness. Kavita slowly moved out of the vicinity. Sanskaar carefully put her down but they were still in each others embrace. She broke their hug and they both kept lovingly staring at each other. She opened her purse and got her mangalsutra out. Sanskaar took the mangalsutra from her hand and made her wear it. He cupped her face and wiped her tears and kissed her forehead. She again hugged him hiding her face in his chest. The elders decided to leave them alone. They both needed some time with each other. They both have been through a lot and spending time with each other would help them heal their wounds. Swara and Sanskaar left the place hand in hand promising each other their life long support.
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Love,
Shonali
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
Mangal Lakshmi
