I am taking the right from my daughter to choose her husband - Janak

A society even today denies the right for the woman to choose her better half telling decisions for her are made by her father, husband or son. A term called Kanyadan is misused to the hilt which calls a girl a property. She is to be given away by her father to anyone he deemed fit just like he does the daan of gold, cow etc... and since she has come as daan her husband's family can treat her the way they like.

So now the question arises has Janak really taken away Sita's right. Can a father keep a condition on how his son-in-law should be. Why the sages adviced Janak to keep Shiv Dhanush a barrier for Sita's marriage.

For that we have to understand certain symbolisms in Hinduism. This is my understanding of keeping the Shiv Dhanush as a barrier for Sita's wedding or the need for a condition for a woman's marriage.

Hinduism treats woman as the seat of knowledge, wealth and power. And we need to understand that these qualities can be used for good purpose or bad purpose or rather it depends on the direction these qualities are used the result will be positive or negative.

And marriage is an important decision in a woman's life. The man she chooses she has to be absoultely sure will use the knowledge, wealth and power in the right direction. And when the girl is young some direction is needed to ensure that she makes the right choice.

So before marriage who is that person who directs her about good and bad. Mother is there, but of course it is a fact that daughters are more attached to their father's and look upto them. So the man who has set direction in her life till date also needs to be assured that, the man she has choosen is infact the right one and will respect her, honor her, love her and treat her as his equal.

Also she needs to be absolutely sure the man she has choosen is serious about her and does not hold any ulterior motive in that marriage like wealth, power or just for progeny. But his love is for her. The tough condition of lifting the Shiv Dhanush gives that proof both to the woman as well as to the father.

So does every father has a right to keep condition on her daughter's wedding. No. Only a father like Janak who was giving right directions to her daughter can keep the guidance. The one who is controlling his daughter, treats her as a property and takes decisions on her behalf hold no right to keep any condition on her marriage. He never gave right direction and the daughter can choose a change of direction. Just like Rukmini does. But she also tests Krishna. Whether he can take her and then face her brother's army to protect her.

Now what does Kanyadan mean. Kanyadan is the ritual in which a father happily trusts the young man with his daughter's hand with the understanding that so far he has walked his daughter in the right direction, going forward he will continue to walk with her in the right direction.

Then we have saat phere, where the man takes the 4 phere in front and the lady takes the next 3 phere in front. To me they have meant that . In the first 4 pheras the man set the direction for the usage of knowledge, wealth and power in a such a way that they get moksha( Dharm, arth, kama, moksha) and the woman decides to do actions in that direction supplementing him. Since pheras are round, that means as and when needed direction will change, but the aim will be moksha.

This is just my POV of trying to understand the marriage rituals, science and our mythology.

Nicely wriiten and a beauiful philosPHY about marriage