Liberal Indian goes to watch Dilwale, faints before the interval

(Image via dailymotion.com)

Gulabjee Thakur, a self-proclaimed liberal and an enthusiastic collector of mufflers, went to watch the evening show of Dilwale at Orion Mall in Bangalore yesterday, but landed in the hospital in the same complex when he collapsed an hour into the movie, complaining of extreme dizziness.

Speaking to our correspondent from his hospital bed, Gulab said, "The last SRK movie I watched was on a school trip to Rajmandir in Jaipur. It was the same Karan Johar movie in which the girl got friendzoned - absolutely loved that! The girl getting friendzoned I mean, not the movie. The movie, however, left such a lasting impression on me that I vowed it would be the last SRK movie I watched."

Asked what made him change his mind, he said, "When I listened to SRK talk of growing intolerance it struck an emotional chord. It was like he was talking to me and I felt guilty of turning intolerant to his movies over the years. And the propaganda by the Bhakts to boycott his movies only added fuel to fire. I chose the Gandhian way of protesting against this growing intolerance by setting an example in tolerance."

Recalling how he trained himself for the big day, Gulab added, "I knew it was no mean task to watch an entire SRK movie at one stretch. So I started with 5 minute modules and gradually built up to 2 hours. In the end I thought I was well prepared. Even my boss was impressed when I spread my arms SRK style on being asked why I was leaving early today."

Then what went wrong? "I was expecting the same plot as the last SRK movie I watched. But who is this Rohit Shetty guy? And what with all these cars flying around? I totally underestimated the SRK-Rohit Shetty pair."

One of Gulab's bhakt friends' visiting the hospital quipped, "I argued long and hard with him on why he should not watch Dilwale, knowing he would do the exact opposite. I had been meaning to do this to him ever since he started supporting this rubbish on intolerance. Dilwale has given us the ideal platform to get even with these libtards. Shahrukh has done for us what the Bhushans or Bharti could not."

Asked which movie he is going to watch next, Gulab responded incoherently, "Har Har Mahadev."

The UnrealTimes