Abhi-Pragya fiction: RESTLESS (Epilogue- Page 85, Dec 29) - Page 46

Chapter 11: My Rockstar

That was the last day I saw Abhi.

It has been almost two years from that day. Every day I have spent has gone thinking about him, some days a bit less and some days a lot more.

I dearly miss him laying his head on my lap to ease his headache, the last morsel of his meal that was always mine, his celebration at my small victories, his chest that was the safest place to lay my head on, his wandering, unabashed hands that never obeyed time and space, his hot breath on my neck, his smile, his smell and just everything about him...

I wish I had something solid to blame on him about this separation, I might have felt better then. If anything I blamed myself for that fateful day. I wish I knew how to convey what I needed to in some other way. I definitely hadn't wanted to accuse him of using me in bed. That was a not really a true statement. Didn't I know in my heart he would never betray me? Didn't I know he had sincere emotions for me? Then I didn't know why I had to say what I said that day. I could only wish to undo it.

But I did wish he gave me a chance to explain myself to him. But he did not. I had called him up immediately after he left, and he did not pick my calls. I emailed him, texted him and tried various ways. He again didn't respond. It didn't help that I had put up in Pune those days. But a week later I had received a text from him that he didn't feel like talking to me and that he was moving to Delhi.

And that was it. If he didn't want to talk to me, I saw no point in contacting him again. I wanted to respect his decision.

Not only Abhi had moved away from me literally and figuratively, Purab and Nikki had gone away too. Purab moved to Delhi as well taking up a job. But the shock to me was when I got a call from Nikki, asking me to join her for her sudden and secret wedding. She actually married the lecturer that Abhi used to tease her with in college. After college, she expressed her love for him apparently and he accepted it too. They tried to convince her parents but they didn't agree as he was a divorcee and there was a 10-year age gap. Hence they went for a court marriage and flew off to US where he had found a job. I was one of the witnesses that signed to put her marriage on paper.

Watching Nikki go for a match that many people wouldn't approve of and observing the lives of many other people around me as I started my job in Mumbai, gave me a different perspective to life and relationships.

Having a job that paid me quite well changed my life in many ways. I was happy that I could help my mother financially and pay my sister's fees. I lived independently in an apartment in Mumbai and I didn't have anyone to tell me how to live or what to do, unlike my study days that I spent in college campuses and hostels or the days I spent in my home. I noted my colleagues living lives in different ways- some had traditional families, some were into relationships and open about it, some hid their affairs, some were alone or lonely.

I didn't know if I was alone or lonely for I felt both at times. I wasn't the most friendly or talkative person and hence it wasn't easy for me to make friends. I didn't how I got into a group with Abhi, Purab and Nikki in college and remained a part of their gang. That was perhaps due to Abhi who pulled me into the group. In masters, I had some friends with whom I shared study matters. But for personal matters, I had so much going on with Abhi in my head that I never realized I didn't make friends there.

At my work place I had a couple of colleagues who talked to me more than others. I would invite them to my place sometimes for dinners and they did the same with me.

The college teacher's marriage alliance that my mom had chosen did not work out for me. It so happened that a month after Abhi walked away, the college teacher and his family had come to see me. I agreed to see him too and had hoped he would say No. To my surprise, he said Yes. My mother had thought it was a done deal until I told her I wouldn't marry him.

When my mother probed me for a reason, I couldn't believe I ended up telling her I was in love with a boy and not in a position to marry another. I found it paradoxical that when I was in a relationship with Abhi I wasn't able to tell my mother about it, but now when he had moved away, I had told her. Without going into the details I just had told my people that it was a relationship never meant to be but I needed time to get over it in my head. My mother was extremely worried that the guy had betrayed me but I assured her that was not exactly the case. To soothe her worries, I had promised her I would do my best to get over my feelings and marry someone else but I begged for some time. It wasn't empty promise, I did try to put Abhi away from my mind and think of marrying someone else, but it's just that I hadn't been able to do so until now. Because Abhi had become a bigger presence in my mind ever since that fateful day. .

Although I hadn't met Abhi since that day, I knew what he was up to given he was all over the media. Months after Abhi had walked away from me, news about a new artist Abhi Mehra had started to spring up. The best music company, Sony, was launching him with an album. What different about Abhi was that he was not only a singer, but a performer too. Entertainment moguls called Abhi a complete package who had the looks, attitude and the voice to take over the audience. And true to their prediction, his album had become a mega hit and he was a household name within days.

Rockstar Abhi had arrived, just as Abhi had dreamed of him.

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"Di!!! What are you doing here? Why didn't you sleep in the room?", I opened my eyes as Bulbul put her hand on my shoulder.

"Bulbul, what is the time now?", I told her as I came out of my chain of thoughts.

"Di, did you cry? What's wrong? Why are you clutching to this magazine so tight?", Bulbul took the Time magazine from my hands.

"Nothing is wrong Bulbul. I just ended up dozing off here", I fixed my spectacles trying to hide my wet eyes.

"Di, did you remember the guy you were in love with? Does he look like Abhi? Did he remind you of him? You have cried so much Di, look you wet my Abhi's picture", Bulbul said noticing tainted picture of the Magazine's cover page.

"Do you really think I would cry like that, Bulbul? I dropped some water", I found an excuse.

"Di, if you don't want to share, it's fine. But I tell you, if you share, you will feel better", Bulbul said flipping the pages of the magazine.

"What time do you have to leave Bulbul? I will make some breakfast for you", I walked towards the kitchen.

"I have to reach by 8, Di. Oh My God, look how cute Abhi looks with Tannu. I love these two together. Di, I really ship this couple. I so wish they get married", Bulbul came to the kitchen still flipping through the magazine.

"That model, Tannu? Is she dating him, Bulbul?", I asked trying to make it look an innocent question.

"They must be Di. They perform together. And she was his model in his first album song, na? They haven't officially announced. But you know na, these celebs want to show they are single. See if rockstar Abhi is married or in a relationship, girls like me may find it a bit awkward to dream about him na?", Bulbul chuckled.

"Stop dreaming about him, Bulbul, and go prepare for your interview. And here is your chai", I handed over a cup of chai I made to Bulbul.

"Thanks Di", Bulbul kissed my cheek and went to the room leaving the magazine on the kitchen counter.

I looked at that picture of Tannu and Abhi from his album video. I thought may be he had found love in her and moved on. But I somewhere wished it wasn't true.

Two weeks later, I went to check on my students that were rehearsing for the intercollegiate dance competition. They performed the whole sequence and I applauded them for the synchronous and upbeat performance. When I was about to leave the room Harisha came running to talk to me.

"Pragya Ma'am, can you do us a favor? Please don't say No", Harisha begged.

"What do you want, Harisha?", I wondered.

"Ma'am, you know about these judges for the competition? We want to get rockstar Abhi as the judge", Harisha said enthusiastically.

"Abhi?", I was taken aback hearing his name.

"Ma'am. Let me explain. I know they already have invited that choreographer and of course our principal who knows nothing about dance is in the panel. But Ma'am, my cousin's dad knows Purab Khanna's uncle very well. And Purab Khanna is Abhi's manager. And my cousin's dad is ready to talk to Purab's uncle. And he can convince Purab to get Abhi to our competition. But Ma'am you will have to talk to the principal to let us have another judge. Please please please Ma'am", Harisha held my hand, jumping.

"Well, I don't know if it is so easy to get Abhi like that. But if you succeed I will talk to the principal, alright?", I assured seeing the girl's enthusiasm.

I hadn't really known Purab had been Abhi's manager. But I had noticed Purab helping Abhi out even in college to manage his band. So I wasn't surprised Purab was working with him now too. I indeed felt happy that Abhi had a trustworthy person like Purab by his side. I would have been lying if I said didn't regret not being a part of Abhi's life when he finally saw his dream coming true. I had only myself to blame having messed it all up.

I didn't think Harisha would actually be able to get Abhi for the competition but I was proved wrong when she told me that he had indeed agreed. And it was then it really sunk in for me that I was perhaps going to see Abhi too. I was the cultural event organizer for the college and I was going to be overseeing my student's arrangements in the event. I also was given the responsibility of doing some compering at the event too and now I was really nervous about it.

I even considered skipping the event but I couldn't have disappointed my students with my absence. I thought over how Abhi would react to seeing me, how I would hold myself together around him several times. But it was me who convinced the principal to get Abhi in for the judge panel too just before the invitation pamphlets were printed out.

Bulbul had seen the invite when she came to Mumbai a few weeks later, for a final round of interviews. Seeing Abhi's name, she asked me to get his autograph for her without miss. She even printed a photograph of him and asked me to have her name written on it by him. I had told her I wouldn't promise but I would try.

And finally the intercollegiate dance competition day had arrived. And I was going crazy with my nervousness reminding me more of less of my flutters of a long time ago. Harisha and her friends were panicky about performing Abhi's song in front of Abhi and I was panicking at the possibility of meeting him again. I contemplated on not being seen by his eyes somehow, but then I had the responsibility to introduce some guests too. Since Abhi or his team hadn't communicated with the organizing committee as into what is to be told in his introduction, I had thought he wouldn't even need an introduction as such.

And half an hour before the competition was to start, I heard that rockstar Abhi had arrived.

My heartbeat went wild just thinking he is around. I wondered if I would break down seeing him. I wondered if he would want to acknowledge me at all. Harisha came running to tell me to go with her to receive rockstar Abhi. I was hesitant now that my heart felt like exploding. Without waiting for me, the students ran away to find Abhi and I peeked out of the room we were in. I first noticed Purab who was instructing people around him something. I then saw the image of the man that stole my heart walking with a confidence that gathered everyone's attention. People screamed his name, jumped in joy as he walked wearing a black jacket and sunglasses. They gave him roses and took pictures of him and tried to take pics with him. He looked more handsome than I had ever seen him but what I really noticed was the pride and confidence with which he walked, the ease with which he remained the centre of attraction and attention. I forgot my nervousness and everything else and all I felt was happiness and pride to see my Abhishek.

My rockstar had actually arrived.

I was so happy to see him that I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I watched him smile and laugh, sign autographs and wave at people. My heart was beaming with joy.

He was moving closer to me as he was going to walk past me to the judges room. I stepped aside letting him, Purab and his team walk past me and they went inside the room. I was glad no one noticed me amidst the crowd. Abhi and Purab sat on chairs facing away from the door and I stood by the door not being able to walk away. Soon my dance students surrounded him since they got a chance to interact with him finally. Harisha being the leader of the group and being a commanding student ended up doing a mini interview of Abhi.

"Abhi Sir, I am your biggest fan. And you are the best. I want to ask you something.. what is your inspiration?", Harisha put her first question.

"That I want to be the best", replied Abhi quickly.

"Sir when are you getting married?", Harisha came up with her second question and I felt she was crossing a line in her enthusiasm.

"Finish your studies fast, we will think about getting married", laughed Abhi making everyone else laugh.

"Oh My God! Sir you are too good... " Harisha jumped.

It was then Harisha's turn to take his autograph and she asked for it. I remembered I was supposed to get a signature for Bulbul too.

"What is your name?", Abhi asked as he started to sign the paper Harisha gave him.

"Harisha", Harisha replied with a big smile on her face.

"Harsha, Haysha.. ", Abhi had a twist of tongue.

"It's Harisha, H A R I S H A", Harisha spelled her name out.

"Harisha, that's a complicated name. Why don't you make your name shorter, like me? Risha, Hari or Rishu may be? See I am Abhi, no one really calls me with my full name, Abhishek", said Abhi as he suddenly looked back and his sunglass covered eyes fell right on me.

"Cha..", I thought I heard him say and I just froze where I stood.