Price a woman has to pay for getting acceptance

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

I don't know much about Shanta's story so forgive me for any factual errors. My analysis is purely based on what the episode showed yesterday. I as a woman could connect very well both to Shanta and Kausalya yesterday. Because what they showed yesterday was the price society demanded from woman for the sake of men.

What happened to Shanta , happens to many young girls even today. Butchering of her free will for family, for reputation ( don't know what kind of reputation). Shanta the young girl was so full of life. She had many admirable qualities. Along with her feminity the princess was a trained warrior. She was skilled on her own merit. But no her skills apart from her feminity never got true acceptance from her father. The skills he saw in his daughter he wanted to see in the son. The girl was always deprived of acceptance for the individual that she is.

And Shanta always strived to get that acceptance. And the price she paid for getting acceptance was willfully giving away all her other skills and embracing the stereotype view society expects out of a woman. Yes she went to woo the man so that he can do the yajna to give sons to her father. The skilled princess became a mute wife of a sanyasi. If you ask me is there any problem in becoming the wife of a sanyasi. I would say no as long as it is the woman's free will. But in Shanta's case it was not free will of choosing to become Rishisringa's wife, it was her way to get her father's acceptance.

And why Kausalya feels bad. Because she as a mother saw what Dasrath in his eagerness to get a son couldn't see. That her daughter had died. Her soul was killed and what was in front of her was a soul less person who was just going about doing her tasks as that is what is expected out of her. And Kausalya feels herself responsible also. She feels she could have stopped what happened to Shanta.

Yes she could have. If she had ensured in public her husband doesn't insult the daughter's capability comparing her to a son that doesn't exist. Instead of wallowing in pain of Shanta's loss, if Kausalya has put her foot down firmly for the sake of her daughter. To ensure she doesn't feel deprived and had to take this way out to get acceptance.

Mother's play a huge role in shaping a daughter's life. If she is able to stand on her own, if she is able to stand for her rights she will be giving a fighting spirit to her daughter. If she makes her family respect her the rightful way, her daughter need not have to fight like Shanta to get acceptance. If she makes her family accept her skills apart from housekeeping her daughter's skills will also be accepted. If she ensures marriage and motherhood is a part of the journey of the woman's life and not the most important thing her daughter will have multiple options in her life. If the mother accepts herself as a human being than the sacrificial lamb, she will pave the light in her daughter's path. So as mother's we do have a huge responsibility towards setting example for next generation

Edited by shruthiravi - 9 years ago

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Ramyalaxmi

@Ramyalaxmi

Dazzler

Posted: 10 years ago

@Shruthi: Even though i agree with u in ur perspective, the major epic story was totally distorted in yesterday episode. I am interested in knowing how the epic can be related to nowadays life but not how it can be tuned to fit the present status. We should understand the inner meaning of the epic instead of changing the script. I am actually disappointed with episode.

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

@Ramya I know Shanta was given to king Romapada for adoption. And the movie Vaishali ( Malayalam) depicts this bringing of Rishisringa. But in that movie it is not Shanta who goes, but a woman called Vaishali who is the kings illegal daughter born to a prostitute. When she brings Rishisringa Rajguru tells Romapada to marry Shanta with the Rishi.

So all in all one thing is common in all the intrapretations that Rishisringa was needed for doing Puthrakamesti Yajna. Shanta became his wife. But how is different, in different takes. So there is no concrete evidence whether she went to get Rishisringa or as the movie shows it is Vaishali who went.

So you need to have more open mind when you are watching this.

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Ramyalaxmi

@Ramyalaxmi

Dazzler

Posted: 10 years ago

@Shruthi: I know the story but dhasarath didnt let shanta for the sake of son. He allowed her marriage and did the yajna first just for bringing rain in the kingdom which had drought for many yrs. After that only they did putra kamesti. So here they showed dhasarath was actually narrow minded.

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

Was it Dasratha's kingdom that needed rain or Romapada's. I understand it is Romapada's and certain version does say Romapada told Dasrath if he can give Shanta for adoption once his kingdom get's rain, he will make Rishisringa do Putrakamesthi. So it was a deal anyways.

So the only thing I miss here is Romapada and I feel it would have been better if CVs have bought him as the folklore talks about Romapada.

One more thing Ramya. If you look CVs have been kind to Dasrath. If you look at Vaishali we see a woman exploited for the kingdom and finally she is denied her rights. But if you look here, the pain the families of Ayodhya were asked to take for getting a heir to the throne, the king himself takes. The path an ordinary woman of Ayodhya tried to travel, the princess of Ayodhya travel. Dasrath doesn't demand his daughter to go, but when she requests she is given a chance, just like dasis and other ordinary woman of Ayodhya is given. So as a king he too takes the pain, the pain which other people of Ayodhya took. If Kausalya had to stop the mess, she should have never allowed Dasrath to use ordinary woman of Ayodhya. Only trying to stop when it came to her daughter.

Edited by shruthiravi - 10 years ago

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Ramyalaxmi

@Ramyalaxmi

Dazzler

Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: shruthiravi
Was it Dasratha's kingdom that needed rain or Romapada's. I understand it is Romapada's and certain version does say Romapada told Dasrath if he can give Shanta for adoption once his kingdom get's rain, he will make Rishisringa do Putrakamesthi. So it was a deal anyways.
So the only thing I miss here is Romapada and I feel it would have been better if CVs have bought him as the folklore talks about Romapada.

Exactly shruthi. Its for Romapada's kingdom only. Thats what I feel a king who gave his daughter to his friend com relative and offered things and performed yajna for them was never a narrow minded person. Yes CVs could have handled it in a better way.

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deejagi

@deejagi

Rocker

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Posted: 10 years ago

@ Shruthi, I can't accept teh fact that king Dashrath was narrow minded and was not happy with his daughter. Yes he did want a son to continue his lineage at the same time he was not discriminating with his daughter. If that was the case, he would not have allowed his daughter to get trained in sword fight, archery etc which were required at warfare. he was infact very happy when his daughter outsmart the soldier and applauded her but at that moment, he did feel how good it would have been had the person been his son than his daughter as a daughter is expected to go to a different family and take its name while a son would have stayed in the family and taken care of his state.

However, if you find time, please read my post with the following link.

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4524844&PID=129245814&#p129245814

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

Thanks Jaya. I went through your post and I agree to you. If you look at my post I had created it from Shanta's POV. How a daughter feels when she is not appreciated enough and sometimes they take an elusive step to get that acceptance. What I am talking is Shanta's feelings. I am not telling Dasrath didn't love his daughter. If that was the case he would have send her the first thing to Rishisringa. Actaully I was expecting that. But what I got was a father torn between his duty and love for the daughter. A daughter who feels her balidaan can bring happiness to her father and she can rise in his eyes.

A mother who had no problems when dasis and other woman of Ayodhya were sent to woo Rishisringa, but couldn't allow her daughter to do the same. It was all emotions. It was all conflicts. No one was right or wrong there. They all reacted to the situation.

And as someone said I am waiting to here Dasrath's POV on this whole issue. Because I feel he will speak to Ram.

My post was just trying to highlight the fact that even today deals are made. We all know many marriages happen for power equations even against the girl's will. Even today some girl's choice look like as if she is making a choice, but in reality she has no other option to help her parents who want a son, or want power for their son. Mother's play an indirect role in such things.

So before we raise fingers at our husbands or the child's father for the discrimination we have to ask ourselves have we done enough to ensure gender bias is not propagated. That's my take.

Please read this post of mine

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/129244798

Hope this clarifies my point better.

Edited by shruthiravi - 10 years ago

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deejagi

@deejagi

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

@ Shruthi, I agree with you on all the points. As a daughter I have enjoyed all the freedom an dhappiness in my maternal house, infact we were 4 daughters to our parents and though the relatives were talking about not having a son, it was heard that my Grand father had called and advised her to not to neglect the DIL & the kids what if they are girl children. Lets us grow them as male and make them independent by giving them proper education and all. Even after marriage, I never faced any issues as my In laws are as good as my parents and if there was some issues, it was the sons who were scolded and never the DILs. I have a daughter (a only child) and many advised us to try for one more and we may be blessed with a son. But we are happy with our daughter and no regrets. But at the same time I have seen people who are trying Feng sui and other option like calculating based on Chineese calender to conceive a male baby. I seen it in my friends and relatives group. So we can't blame them and it is not that easy to educate them. If i try, I will be branded as jealous lady and is advising against a boy just because she doesn't have one.

Moreover I have read and heard in many places, the female child is being offered to god (Devdasi or whatever they call in those locations), so that the family gets a heir or the male child is cured of some heath issue etc.

If this is thye condition in which our generation is living, we can't out rule what ever would have happened in Thretayug.