In personal life I need stability: Deepika

She might come across as tough and practical, but Deepika Padukone says her attachment to her films is emotional - and unlike in her personal attachments, she craves instability and insecurity in her work.

Was the Eiffel tower T-shirt you were wearing as you got off the railway station in Delhi a gesture of solidarity for Paris or a subtle promo for your movie, since a lot of it is set in France?

Oh God, not at all, none of the two! It was something that I just picked up because I'd be comfortable in it, as it was more than a 12-hour journey, and it would look okay in pictures as well.

Retrospectively, you can own one cause, then.

In retrospect, then, I would own both! I have a sense of solidarity with the city after what happened and the fact is that it affected me deeply because it's a place that we've just recently discovered.

The 'Pinga' song launch was called off because Paris happened. The French embassy was supposed to do a felicitation for the Tamasha team, and all that was cancelled as well. How do you respond to such a mood, even as a feel-good sort of movie is coming up?

In fact, the calling off of the 'Pinga' launch was something that we collectively decided, and the actors were very much a part of that decision. It just didn't feel right to come out and launch a celebration song when something of that nature had happened. So yeah, it was a collective decision. Having said that, filmmaking is a very, very expensive medium. So, at the end of the day, we kind of have to move on also, a little bit. And you hope and pray that everyone is safe and everyone is okay. And we have to do what we have to do, because, you know, there is a lot at stake when a film is releasing as well...



You've said earlier that Imtiaz (Ali, the director of Tamasha) understands you extremely well, gets your sensitivities, understands that you have a strong gut feeling about things. When you work with a director like that, how much higher is the risk actors are willing to take, how much can such a project experiment?

Again, like I said, filmmaking is a very expensive medium for anyone to be just experimenting. But yes, having said that, if that is the route a director chooses to take, which is experimenting, then, sure. Tamasha is not an experiment in that sense, but yes, a large part of this film has been made purely based on trust, because he believes that Ranbir and I can bring something to the table in places where he doesn't necessarily have 100% direction to give us. He's worked on this film a little differently, a lot of work in this film has been improvised and a lot of it has come from what... he's just left the two of us and camera's rolling, and he's got a lot from that. That kind of instinct reading, or intuition, I think he had because he understands us... in that sense yes, we're on the same page because he knew that I was okay to work in this film with that setup.

You've been coming in multiple ads with your family. The idea comes from the people making that ad, to bring forth that image, that part of you?

Yes. They come up with certain ideas, and it's not necessary that my parents would have agreed to all ideas, but I think the brands that they have come on board for are respectable and iconic brands, and so then we don't mind coming together as a family to make that possible.



The shirt with the Eiffel Tower image that Deepika wore to the New Delhi Railway Station as part of a promotional event for Tamasha recently.

Your father hasn't been on camera with you earlier, has he?

No, he's never. In any case it's not something that we thought of, but when a brand thinks of something, it's very organic and very genuine. For example, what the paints ad has done with dad and me, and what the jewellery ad with my mother and me, I mean... Actually, through the first ad - the jewellery ad that I did with my mother - I want to thank them because there's so much that I wanted to say to her and sometimes we don't know how to express ourselves. At least I am not very good at expressing myself. But through that ad I think I could say what I wanted to say, and I think a lot of women through that ad have expressed and felt what they wanted to say to their parents. Same with the Diwali campaign also - the beauty of the festival and why we look forward to it every year is because there is a routine to that, we know who's going to do what in the house, and there is a beauty in that too. It's something we connected with and it was very organic.

Do dad and mom ask you for tips when the camera starts rolling?

Not at all! In fact, my mother was giving my father tips and I could feel like, a competition between the two of them, trying to outdo each other (laughs).

Is there increasing pressure on leading stars over the money their films make?

I don't actually agree with anything that has to do with numbers and creativity. For me, the two things are very separate. Ask me about creativity, I can talk about that. Ask me anything to do with maths and numbers - I have no idea. Whether it was in school or whether it is to do with the business of cinema now, I don't understand it. Everything that I do is out of love, out of passion, out of excitement, it is out of being able to tell exciting stories, being able to challenge myself as an actor and be part of exciting films that have challenging roles. I don't understand anything to do with business or numbers.

But isn't the tracking of a movie all about numbers these days - first show collections, first weekend collections... isn't the cinematic craft discussed far less than the mathematics?

I'm not interested. When a film releases, my first question is always about when I can go and watch it, or I'm reading the reviews of the film, or what people's reactions to the film are and what they think of the film at an emotional level. So if someone tells me this film made X amount, I don't react to it because, to me, it doesn't make any sense.

How emotionally attached are you to your films?

Very, very, very. Because that's what the medium of filmmaking is, right? It's about feeling, it's about honesty, it's about emotion.

You don't detach after a Friday, like Ranbir says he does?

Yes. When you talk about detaching, yes, we detach in the way that the destiny of that film is not in your hands anymore - whether the box office or the critics or the audience's love or otherwise. So in that sense, yes, you have to let it go. But what takes time to detach from, is the character that you're playing and the experience of having worked on a film. It takes a little while to let go of that...

Is there nostalgia?

Yeah, of course, and especially if it's a team like this where you've had such an amazing time, when you've worked with people whom you know so well and you're so comfortable around. Then obviously, when you have to leave that behind and go work on your next, that takes a little bit of time.

You'd said in an interview a few years back, 'I am very unsettled, and I want it to be like that. I want that unsurety and the unrest and the uneasiness because that keeps me going.' Does status quo prevail?

It's absolutely the same. At a personal level, I like to feel stability, whether it's my relationship with my parents, whether it's my relationships with my friends. In my personal life, I need a lot of stability. Because that's the kind of upbringing I've had, and it makes me feel comfortable, that's my comfort zone. But creatively, I like the instability. I like the fact that if I'm offered a film, and if my reaction actually is, 'How the hell am I going to do this?' I love the film, and I want to be a part of it, but I'm nervous about doing that part - I like that instability, that really keeps me going. I like that uneasiness and not knowing how to tackle a particular scene, if I am going to the set the next day. I had a similar situation on Tamasha as well. There's a scene... something that we did in the film that I've never done before, and I've never experienced it in any other form. I had sleepless nights. I would keep calling Imtiaz and saying, 'I don't know how to do this, I don't know how to do this'. And he's handheld me through the entire thing. I love that feeling. Because that kind of unrest and being unsure of how I'm going to approach something or how it's going to translate eventually - I thrive on that.