Shivam seems to embody the worst sides of both his parents. From his mum he has chosen to embody inaction and the complete opposite of common sense and from his dad, blind anger and over reaction. He is unable to strike a balance and not the kind of man to keep a family united and together. I'm not the first to say this and I wont be the last, but from his behaviour he is the kind of person who has swallowed his dadi's abuse not just toward himself and his sisters but toward his mother too. Not even a handful of times in the entire show have I seen him take a stand against his dadi for his mum. Forget Riya for a moment- because this issue goes well beyond and before she came into the picture. Shivam has always been unable to protect his mum and sisters whether it be from his dad, Amit (just after Shivam and Riya's wedding when he threatened to hit Nimmi as just one example) or from Shanti. Time and time again I have seen him stand idly by watching ""helplessly"" as the women in his family are undermined and emotionally abused. Never mind that these women allow themselves to be treated this way- lets put that aside too because that's a whole other issue. I am talking about Shivam taking up the responsibility of a grown adult male who will one day supposedly take over his dad's role (whatever that is, since he always seems to be AWOL during the most significant times! But...at least Rahav has ""some"" excuse of not knowing what is going on- what is Shivam's??). After seeing the last several episodes he has only justified my belief that he is an utterly useless male role model in any sense. Not only was he emotionally abusing his wife, he has raised his hand on a woman due to blind and ignorant anger- he then stood idly by as his ill (and ridiculous) mother started pouring pitchers of ice cold water on herself. Riya was maintaining her self-respect (everyone needs to take a leaf out of her book- if every one did the same then Shanti wouldn't get even a sliver of an opportunity to abuse everyone the way she is- when you respect yourself you respect others and if everyone of them respected themselves they would be capable of respecting each other and so Shanti wouldn't even get a chance to do her evil mischief- but as it stands that family is totally fragmented and self-demeaning) and the rest of them were just watching, mouths agape at their mum chucking Niagara Falls on herself. This isn't Riya's responsibility or duty to step in and apologise for something she didn't do wrong- by doing that she will perpetuate Shanti's belief in getting away with everything. No, she did well to stand her ground- in the long run Shanti's faith in her own success at destroying everyone will crumble as a result. But what did Kaushalya's own children do about the situation? In an ideal world not one of them would agree or allow another to pour water on themselves- but we are talking about the Shrivastavs here so that's too much to ask. So...Why didn't Nimmi step in and boldly announce to everyone that she refuses to take the blame BUT she will pour the water on herself? Why didn't Preeti do that or indeed Shivam? Shivam was the only male (laughable) there and he stood by impotently watching his mum. All three children knew exactly what was going to happen- they cant be that thick after being in countless situations like this where their mum always takes the brunt of the punishment- they knew that their mum wouldn't allow Shanti to take the punishment and would take it on herself. So where were they for her? They tout at how much their mum means everything to them- but even Nimmi said grudgingly and petulantly "why should I take the punishment?". Riya said with self-assertion and self-respect "why should I take the punishment?" Preeti stood quiet and pointless as usual. And Shivam- the one who actually caused the whole mess in the first place all because he flew off the handle and acted before he thought things through (even after Riya repeatedly told him to be sensible and find out the facts first- EVEN though he practically ordered Riya to keep out of it and let him deal with it)...he did nothing! Absolutely nothing! It was a joke and so utterly self-emasculating that it was embarrassing to watch. He may as well have chopped it off himself, honestly! His dad would have physically intervened and stopped that nonsense right there and then (probably followed by lots of shouting at people who didn't deserve it, but that too is another issue) but at least he would have stopped it altogether. I cant imagine Raghav allowing any of them to pour water on themselves, whatever the other consequences might have been. So first Shivam lol nominates his wife to take the blame and punishment for something he did wrong and then is in shock when she stands up for herself...and then he watches like an impotent fool as his mum punishes herself for something that had absolutely nothing to do with her. He's the man, he's healthy, young and in the absence of his dad the head of the family. He (according to culture and tradition) should be protecting the women in his family- so why didn't he step up, man up and say "hey I don't believe anyone is to be blamed but myself because I flew off the handle without finding out the facts, but I'll be damned before any one of you throws water on yourself while I am here. I will do it and no one can stop me. If you expect me to take dad's responsibilities in his absence then stand out of my way and lets get on with it". For heavens sake- it would have been dealt with in a mature manner (as mature as you can get if you agree to chuck water on yourself). Poor Shivam; he is still a child and its not even his fault really. His father has taught him a destructive melange of behaviours- how to be subservient (only to those he hasn't the guts to speak up to) and angry and controlling (as long as it serves his needs) and his mother has taught him the complete opposite of sensibility. He didn't really have a hope in hell. Maybe Riya can help him grow up- but honestly if someone doesn't want to see another way of life that is better for all, then she cant help him. I love the way Riya has been standing her ground the last few times- words don't teach, life experience does. If she can just show them by her own example that she wont give in to someone no matter what when she knows she's not wrong then hopefully that will influence them to use their own brains and finally unite as a family against Shanti. But this is MAM 😆 and in the world of MAM absolutely nothing follows logic or sense or how things would actually develop and change in real life.
Tum Se Tum Tak
Advocate Anjali Awasthi
Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems
Health and Fitness
