Premeer SS : Daastan : note on pg 2

indira.ph thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#1
Hai peeps.
This is indu😳 and i'm starting a premeer ss.😳
i want to try it from a long time. but now only i got time. This is is the first time i'm writing something. so please forgive me for the mistakes.
Before starting , i want to thank our mini celebrity priya 🤗she encouraged me and also helped me lot in writing. thanku priyamol🤗u can even consider her as co-writer😛😆
ok no more bak bak. here is prolong. pls tell me how is it.😳😳 chappals are also welcome😛

Prologue

Supporting his body weight with left hand, he crawled slowly towards her. With his each move, the knife penetrated more in to body making his body to go numb with pain. He cant hold it more. He knows it. He looked her lying lifelessly in the pool of blood and water. The stone on which her head hit is now soaked in blood.

Taking all energy left on his body, he moved his body again, finally reaching her.

"Heer.."

He whispered.

As if sensing him, she opened her eyes to meet a pair of tearful eyes. The same chocolate brown eyes which used to look her with love and care, used to hypnotise her.

"Kyun heer? Yeh kya pagalpan tha?"

"Shayed ye kisi ki nazar main sirf pagal pan ho lakin agar doosre nazrien se dekhon tho ye sirf dahi akshar ka shabad hai.. PREM".

He asked, holding her softly.

Her voice was thin, full of pain. Yet he can sense the passion in it. The passion for him, for their love. She meant each word she uttered. Her breath got shallow and realisation once again hit him painfully..They don't have much time.

"Heer...main tumse bohot pyaar karta hoon... bohot.."

He once again confessed, touching their forehead together. Her lips slowly curved to a smile and whispered back.

"Pata hai mujhe..woh kya kahte the tum.. Heer prem ka prateek hai aur.."

"aur prem sabse zyada heer mein samaya hai"

He completed it making her lips to curved more widely. The unbearable pain the wound causing can't stop their heart from feeling content. He moved upwards slowly, making her lying on his chest, her hands over his heart.

As the darkness enclosed both, the ground shook violently, crushing the side walls of the well and covering the two lovers from the outside world forever.


Edited by Indu_ - 9 years ago

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Alina.Premeer thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#2
oh my.. kya main sapna dekh rahi hoon? :p indu ki ss..kill me.. :p and priya helping.? double kill me :p jokes apart. its really good indu. premeer dead? is it flash back type?then a tragic lv stry on ph which i dont want :/ or is it a rebirth type? :o update part 1 soon pls.
JugniPH thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#3
co-writer? kab kaha kaise? cut-it-off..🤔
all the best indu.. meri aashirvaad hamesha teri saath hai 🤣
and we dont have much ff on these concepts.. so i'm looking forward to read it...
update soon ..

GiyaJuneja thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#4
congrats for your first ss indu. awesome starting. premeer are no more? ok then im sure that its reincarnation
waiting for the update
Harshad.Additi thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#5
All the best for ur ss indu.
looking forward to read the story
SwathyS thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#6
In the start itself you are trying to kill my prem and heer 😭
Its so not done.

I loved the way you wrote the first part will be waiting to read more.
And i hope you somehow saves them.

Was waiting to read something new on my forever favorite Premeer
tarannum6 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#7
New SS yohoo :) :D Thank you soo much 😃 Wowww this is Amazing
eagerly waiting for 1 part pls continue :)
tanuharshiti thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#8
Superb and awosome start pls post 1 part
eagerly waiting :)
indira.ph thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#9
hey guys.
thank you for the love and support. and sorry for not updating.
actually i became a massi and it was premature one. so was busy in taking care of my sister and niece.
i'm still busy with them and work. i will update as soon as i get time
sorry guys for keeping you all wait


Alina.Premeer thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#10
congratz indu. take care of your sis and niece.

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