Part 11
Do You Hate Me
---Shravs😳
Listening to her banters her son slept on her lap while she drifted off to an uneasy slumber as well... when her doorbell rang... she got up startled and the baby started crying... As she tried to calm him down and get to the door to open it... she was astonished to see the person....
"Aap"
Her Amma could see that how fragile her daughter has become.. She has become thin... the baby which was clinging on to her to get his amma's warmth to sleep peacefully didn't go unnoticed by Madhu.. But then all that she knew had happened in past came back to her and anger overpowered her... She didn't say anything just gestured her to give her Grandchild to her... By then Ishita got emotional after seeing her mother all she wanted to do was get into secured embrace of her mother...
"Ammaa... "
She ran to her Mother in two step and hugged her from one hand as the other hand was supporting her own child... She sobbed like never before... She couldn't even register that her amma didn't hug her back... that very time she registered her amma trying to take the Grandchild in her hands... she couldn't stop herself from asking her amma ..
"Amma... Ennoda Pesamatela..??? " (Amma you won't talk to me...)
"Vaa da kanna..." (Come to me my dear...)
Ishita thought her Mother asked her but then her mother didn't even look up at her... she just was looking at the baby in her hands... she was happy that atleast amma's anger lessened seeing the child...
"Amma Ulla vango ?? " (Amma Come inside)
That's the first time her amma met her eyes with her... what she saw in her mother's eyes weren't love and affection for her but the anger which she couldn't help herself to reduce... She again died seeing her amma hating her so much...
"Amma Please Ulla vango... PLease... " (Maa.. please andar ayiye... please...)
Saying so she moved to where they were sitting with her baby in her hands... which she didn't let go off as if driving strength from him...
"Amma aap aake bait ke bhi apne nati se baat kar sakte ho.."
Her Amma stepped into her house much to her relief... and she signaled her to give the child to her... which ishita did and went to close the door behind... when she saw her mother pampering the child with her kisses... she was grinning... but to her dismay her son wanted to feel her arms and not his nani's ... and he started crying for his mother...
"Amma usko apki aadat nahi hai na... isiliye ro rha hai... aur upar se ab uski neend puri bhi nahi huyi toh he is cranky... Aap mujhe dijiye... thoda dhud pilaungi toh khelne khudne lag jayega... apke saath..."
"Tumhari Amma ko kaho ki maine do do bachche paal pose ke bada kiya hai... mujhe naa sikhaye..."
"chutku ... tum bhi apne pati ko kaho ki woh tumhari amma se baat kare..."
"Yeh kaisa naam rakha h tumhara..."
"Bolo unhe ki main tumhe pyaar se bohot se naam se pukar ti hoon.."
"Tumahar naam kya hai kanna.."
"Ab tak naam nahi rakha hai... amma.. woh mummyji kehti hai ki... humare hisab se mummy papa dono ne bachche ke kaan mein naam bolna chahiye woh bhi gurudware mein..."
"Waah... kanna... kab tak naam nahi rakhne wali tumhari amma... pucho toh zara,..."
"Amma... "
"Kanna main tumhe le jane aayi hoon... tum chaloge ne paati ke saath.."
"Amma... Aap... amma aap hume le jane ayi ho... Raman ne kaha apko... amma woh kyun nahi aaye... mujhse naraz hai kya woh... Mani ne bata diya... sabko ki main yahaan hoon..."
"Kanna tumhari amma ko bata doh main bas apne nati ko lene aayi thi aur bakiyon se mera koyi lena dena nahi hai..."
"Amma..."
Ishita wasn't able to process anything... She couldn't understand yet that Her amma was here to just to take away her son... confused she asked again to clarify..
"Amma aap hum dono lene nahi aaye..."
"Kanna ... chalo paati apko apke appa ke paas le jane ayi hai... "
Hearing the word appa... the child for the first time stopped crying (Stopped pretending to cry)... n stared at her grandma... her grandma kissed him and he let her kiss him...
"Kanna appa ke paas chalna hai naa..."
"Amma... aap aise kaise kar sakte hain,... main apne bachche ke bina kaise rahungi... woh bhi mere bagair nahi reh sakta amma..."
"Kanna... bas tum hi ho tumhare amma ke eklote bete... Adi aur Ruhi ko chod ke toh aasani se reh li... Hamesha kehti thi..."
Ishita started crying by hearing her mom this time... She wasn't able bear to be accused by her own mother.
"Amma... main unko bhi chodke nahi reh sakti..."
"Apne amma se kaho kam se kam khud se naa jhoot bole..."
"Amma aap mere bachche ko mujhse alag nahi kar sakte... please amma... mere jeene ka sahara hai woh..."
"Adi Ruhi ke bhi jeene ka sahara tum thi... Pehle apne bachchon ka khayal aana chahiye fir bakiyon ka... main idhar apne bete apne raman ke liye aayi hoon... Usko uske bete se koyi dur nahi kar sakta... tum bhi nahi... humara ticket shaam ka book hua hai..."
"Amma aap sachchi le jaoge"
Ishita couldn't help but ask with little strength she had... She was in dilemma how to tell her mother or what to tell her mother... She didn't want her mother to know anything which will create a rift between her and Raman... So, she played the only tool she had in her hand ...
"Amma ... main apne bete ko kisi ko nahi dungi... aur naahi mera beta mujhse dur reh sakta hai... "
"Kanna tumhari amma se kaho... idhar usse koyi puchne nahi aaya hai tumhe... tumpe jitna haq uska hai... utna hi mere bete ka bhi hai... yeah fir yeh bachcha kisi.."
"Ammaa..."
The baby started crying... and it was trying to get to his mother... who was standing there fighting her urge to take him in his arms... Ishita started crying too... not able to see him crying...
"Amma... please maa ... woh ro rha hai... mujhe dedo..."
"Adi Ruhi bhi aise hi rote hai... tumhare liye..."
"Ammaa mein galat hoon... janti hoon.. maine unhe chodke idhar nahi aana tha... fir bhi please maa... dedo... bachcha hai... please... maa..."
Ishita started sobbing tightly shutting her eyes not able to see her son more... By that time madhu dropped him in his walker... she couldn't see either of them crying because of her... Ishita was murmuring in between her sobs that it was her mistake... her baby reached out to her... not able to see her crying... She took him in his hands... showered him with lots of kisses... and hugged him...
"I miss adi and ruhi amma... i miss them a lot... main janti hoon... mujhe woh dono kitna miss karenge... balki mere pura parivar mujhe kitna miss karenge... i'm helpless maa... "
Madhu saw the whole house... and saw all the family members photo... in which Ruhi and Adi's latest pictures were framed and were hung... She somewhere knew her brought up won't go so wrong that she will leave those children and come whom she once called them as her life... But then she couldn't deny the fact that she has come her leaving behind every person whom loved her... especially her Husband and children whom loved her to bits...
Madhu just sat around wondering what went wrong... why she never bothered to discuss about anything to her... after all she was her mother... her phone rang which brought her back from her thinking loop...
"Haan bolo Raman.."
"Amma... Ishita kaisi hai... tekh hai..."
"woh...Tekh ki hai..."
"uska kya matlab hua amma..."
"Kuch nahi sab tekh hai ... main evening ko wapas aa rhi hoon.. tab baat karte hai..."
"Amma..."
The call got cut... Something wasn't sounding good to him...
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Ishita after convincing him and putting him to sleep made her way to her amma...
"Amma mujhe apse baat karni hai.."
"Mujhe kisi se baat nahi karni..."
"Amma main janti hoon aap mujhse gussa ho... par aap mujhse gussa kyun ho... Main aaj tak nahi samjh paayi..."
"Tumhe jab pyaar ka matlab naa samjhe... Amma ka matlab naa samjhe toh yeh kaise samjh sakti hai..."
"Amma ... main yeh sab kuch samjh sakti hoon... "
"..."
"Amma... "
"Amma please aap kab se mujhse itna nafrat karne lage... ap samjhte bhi hain apne hi amma ke akhon mein khud ke liye nafrat dekhna kitna hurt hota hai... aap se samjh sakti hai..."
".."
"Amma ... Main apni galti manti hoon... aap mujhe kabhi maaf nahi karoge... amma main apki beti hoon... main bhi toh ek normal insaan hoon... main bhi toh galti kar sakti hoon..."
"meri beti galat ho sakti hai khudgarz nahi..."
Ishita had fresh tears in her eyes...
"Agar aap khud apne beti ko nahi samjh sake toh mujhe koyi aur kaise samjh payega... par main khudgarz nahi hoon maa... .. mujhe adi aur ruhi itna jante hain ki unki ishima mumma khudgarz nahi hai... mere liye woh kafi hai... "
"Aur mere bete ka kya..."
"..."
As usually , she went silent....
"Ab bolo na... Mere Raman ka kya... "
Ishita didn't meet her eyes with her amma... She couldn't meet those eyes... when she herself didn't understand why she did something... what she did...
"Mujhe pata hai tumhare paas tab bhi jawab nahi tha... aaj bhi jawab nahi hai...par tumhe kabhi bhi raman ki kami nahi lagi... uske pyaar ki jarurat nahi padi... mujhe kabhi kabhi lagta hai... tum Raman se pyaar hi nahi karti... "
Ishita's eyes filled with more tears... she tried to eat her sobs... not willing to show it to her mother...
"Raman tumse aaj bhi utna hi pyaar karta hai ... balki tumse pehle se bhi jyada pyaar karta hai... tumhe bohot miss karta hai... balki sab bohot miss karte hai... tumhare papaji, mummyji, simmi, rinky , mihir. romi... sab... kabhi bhi tumne socha tumhare bina woh kya karenge... mujhe kabhi kabhi khud ke parvarish se ghin aati hai... mere apne kok se paida huyi ladki aise kaise hogayi... tumhe un logon ke pyaar ki kadar nahi hain naa... tumhe yaad hain... jab subbu ne tumhare pyaar ki kadar nahi ki... toh tum kitna toot gayi thi... "
Ishita couldn't control herself more... brokedown terribly in her mother's lap... hugging her waist... mumbling something which her amma couldn't understand a word... Madhu couldn't see her daughter crying so badly... which she never saw till now... only word she could comprehend from her sobs were Raman... she hugged her back... kissing her hair...
"Ishu... Ishu... ssshhh... illa da... ishu... chup ho jao kanna... shhh... ishuu..."
That was the picture which welcomed Mani.. when he opened the door with spare keys kept underneath the mat...He couldn't understand... both of them were crying hugging each other... Ishu was chanting maine galti kardi... madhu was trying to sussshhh... her...
"Amma ... Ishu... kya hua..."
"Mani...tum yahan..."
"Amma ishu kyun ro rhi hai..."
"mani... mere flight ka waqt hogya hai... achcha hua tum aagaye... andar bachcha so rha hai... usse leke aao main nikal ti hoon..."
Ishita got alerted...
"Amma amma please amma... "
She was literally begging her mother...
"Main aap jo bologe sunne ke liye tayar hoon..."
"Ishu kya hua... amma se aise kyun baat kar rhi ho..."
"Mani amma ko bolo... please... amma ko bolo main uske bina nahi reh paun gi... mera ab bas wahi hai... mani aur koyi nahi ... please bolo amma ko... usse mere pass chod jaye..."
She could utter these words between her sobs...
"Ishu kaun kise le jaa rha hai..."
"Ishu... amma... yeh sab kya hai..."
"Mere bete ko apne bete se milane se koyi nahi rok sakta mujhe... woh beta jiske bare mein usse aaj tak pata bhi nahi... Ishu yaad rakhna is cheez ke liye jaroor Raman tumhe maaf nahi karega... "
"Amma aap yeh sab kya keh rhe ho... mujhe jab aap bole ki apko chutku se milna h aur usse wapas le aana h... mujhe laga aap ishu ko idhar saath le aaoge... ka pata puch rhe ho... achcha hua main idhar raman ke kehne pe aa gya... warna aap aaj jeete ji ishu ko mar dete the... mujhe kabhi samjh nahi aata... aap log sab ishu se hamesha pyaar chahte ho... dete nahi ho... Ishu... tum chalo yahan se... bohot ho gya... tum jo chahte the woh hogaya... Raman badal gya... mera yakeen mano... chalo ishu... bohot hogaya... tumhare aur mere khatir naa sahi... ruhi aur adi ke liye chalo... please..."
He had woken up to lots of voices... which has never been the scene in his home... he started crying... Ishita ran to her kid... and tried to convince him... that's when mani came and said...
"Dei... inga paaru yaaru vandurken nu... mama da...paaru paaru..." (hey... look who is here baby... It's your uncle baby...)
"Mani aaj yeh bohot baar roya hai... chod do usse thode der ke liye..."
"Ishu... tum chal rhi ho naa..."
"Mani mein achanak aise nahi aa sakti nikal ke... idhar commitments hai mere... "
"Ishu... tumhe kitna waqt lagega..."
"mani... tum filhal amma ko leke jao..."
"Nahi ishu... chalo tum "
"Nahi mani... tum.."
"kyun.."
"mujhe himmat nahi hai..."
"Kya himmat chahiye tumhe..."
"Main ra...papaji mummyji ruhi adi... aur sab... im logon ko kaise face karungi mani..."
"Tumhe dekte hi sabhi daud ke aake hug karne wale hai... tum nahi janti... "
"Mani... tumhe nahi lagta raman mujhse naraz honge..."
"Nahi..."
"Chalo ishu ... bohot hogaya..."
"Mani..."
"Ishu... chalo... transfer ke liye apply karo... and main landlord se settle karke aata hoon... you start packing..."
"Mani par..."
"Ishu aaj kuch bhi mat socho... sirf hone do jo ho rha hai..."
"Mani..."
"Ssshhh... apne godh mein pade is bachche ko dekho ishu... usko uske pariwar se milana tumhara farz hai... usko uske appa se milna ka pura haq hai... aur tumne socha ruhi aur adi ke bare mein..."
"Main bhi unse milna chahti hoon mani..."
"Tumhare liye un dono ne bohot intezaar kar liya hai ishu... ab aur nahi... bachchon ko apne maa se aur mat alag karo..."
"Don't make me more guiltier than I am mani...Main chalne ko tayar hoon... par kya mujhe Raman apnayenge... apne biwi ke taur pe..."
"Ishu... chalo... bas tum chalo... Raman se milke dekho...tumhe khud pata chalega... tum jis Raman ko janti thi woh alag tha... bas tum ab chalo... amma ko main jaake convince karta hoon you pack your bags... waise bhi... bhalla house main tumhare saare sariyan... ruhi lapet leti hai..."
"Kya... haan... mujhe miss jo karti hai... main bohot buri maa hoon amma bohot tekh kehti hai mani..."
Fresh set of tears made their way ... Which she wiped away and started packing her bags with lots of inner turmoil going on... To her hardship... the baby didn't leave her for a minute...
To Be Continued...
Precap :- "Nikal jao mere ghar se..."
" tumne itni badi baat kaise..."
"Raman..."
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