Welcome to a Sikh Wedding

asmaanixx thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#1
Hello everyone!


So I'm here again with yet another informative piece. (Let me know when you guys get tired and I'll stop. 😆)

As we all know this show portrays characters coming from Sikhism. Unlike other shows, Tashan-E-Ishq has done a really good job in establishing the Sikh religion into the daily lives of the characters. They actually go the gurdwaras to find inner peace in their daily conflicts, they live in Punjab and visit other cities within the state, speak Punjabi etc. All in all, they have established the fact that this is a family that is really in tune with its religion.

Now, as we know there is going to be a shift to Mumbai for the wedding. Why this is happening, I don't know but it has sprout a small doubt/fear in me that they might not show a proper Sikh wedding (i.e. it not taking place in the gurdwara or the pheres not being taken around Sri Guru Granth Sahib).

Thus, to keep myself consoled in some way and for those of you who may not know what exactly happens in a Sikh wedding, I thought, hey why not just tell you guys?

So without further ado, carry on forwards to learn more about the traditions/rituals that take place in a Sikh wedding. :)

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Note #1: I'm a novice at this and I do not know everything that takes place in a Sikh wedding. What I can tell you is that the Anand Karaj is the most important thing about it. All the other rituals like the sagaai, sangeet etc. are just culturally popular.

Note #2: Sikhism promotes equality for ALL humans. It does NOT believe in discrimination of any kind. It does not matter what race, ethnicity, religion etc. a person comes from; we are ALL equal. However, when it comes to marriage, it is PREFERRED if the individuals getting married come from the same religious background for COMPATIBILITY. Sikhism believes that the purpose of life is to be united with the One True God. For this to happen, Sikhs must follow the teachings that were provided by the Sikh Gurus. If you get married to someone outside of Sikhism, chances of disagreements, and various other conflicts could arise which could deter one from this path. However this being said, it will not stop an interfaith marriage. It still treats and values ALL human life.

Note #3: As I was doing my research I found out that there are a lot of rituals that take place. Due to the time constraints that we all have nowadays, most of these rituals take place upon the discretion of the families. Which customs they feel is most important and which ones they feel like can be skipped over, is up to them. After all, most of these rituals are culturally promoted and have no actual purpose in terms of their religious connection.

Now, onto the rituals. 😆

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Pre-Wedding Rituals:

  • Roka: It is an unofficial engagement ceremony that is performed basically to announce to the world that they are no longer looking for a match for their son/daughter as they have found someone. It's fitting as the term "roka" can be translated to mean "stop".
  • Taka: This ritual isn't conducted in a very lavish way as it is simply the two families setting a date for the wedding. However, the use of astrological means or horoscopes are usually avoided.
  • Kurmai (Engagement): This where the official engagement ceremony takes place. The two families meet each other with typically the bride's family going over to the groom's with sweets, gifts, offerings (dried dates, saffron, bits of rice, coconut, sugar, money etc.) The bride's family must also present the groom with a kara (a metal bracelet), which symbolizes the restraint in doing evil deeds. As a Sikh, one must constantly control oneself from doing anything that might cause shame or disgrace to another. It is a constant reminder to not do evil. Rituals commence in the presence of the Sri Guru Granth Sahib and is usually followed with kirtans. Depending on the family, bride may be given a chunni which is considered to be a traditional heirloom. It essentially reflects how the family's honor is now in her hands and it is now her responsibility to uplift it. Rings are exchanged, the couple are fed sweets and given money as a shagun.
  • Sangeet: There is no specific time that is set for how long this can go. It all depends on the time that the families have on their hands. But it essentially amounts down to the two families getting to know each other better, teasing each other, celebrating and having fun.
  • Mehndi: Both families engage in this ceremony with the bride's family being more extensively involved than the groom's. The bride, who has received henna from her future mother-in-law, will apply it in a fashionable design on both her hands and feet. The groom on the other hand, may choose to have a simple design applied.
  • Jaggo: This can be conducted at the groom's as well. It is to celebrate the last night before the marriage. Usually a pot filled with clay lamps are placed upon the Mami's (maternal aunt's) head who carries it around. Songs are sung to call upon the neighbors and to welcome them to the marriage. It is a celebration similar to the sangeet where families from the respective sides come together to enjoy.
  • Vatna/Haldi: A turmeric paste is applied to both the groom and bride by family members to make the couple's skin glow more and be shiny and healthy.
  • Ghara Gharoli: The bride and groom are to bathe in holy water from a nearby gurdwara. If the water can't be brought from the gurdwara then from home works as well. However this water is brought to them in different manners. For the bride, it is her sibling or their spouse who brings it while for the groom it's his sister-in-law. After this, they are required to wear their wedding outfit.
  • Chuda: This ceremony is reserved for the bride as she is to wear a set of 21 white and red bangles that have been given to her by her Mama (maternal uncle). These bangles have been dipped in lassi and are blessed by the family. Golden metal danglers called kaliras, are attached to the chuda by close family relatives on the bride's side. It is said the person whose head the kaliras fall onto will be married next.
  • Sarbala: A young nephew is made to dress like the groom who accompanies him. The term "sarbala" means caretaker of the groom.
  • Sehra: Here a veil is attached to the groom's turban, usually by his sister. After this, money and gifts are offered as good luck. Garlands of paper money can also be put on him and thesarbala as a token. The groom's wedding attire is usually accompanied with a turban, sehra and a sword.
  • Varna: Here the groom's sister applies kohl (surma) onto the groom to ward off the evil eye.
  • Ghodi Chadna: This ritual is entirely optional and is conducted merely for fun purposes. The horse that the groom is going to be arriving on is fed nuts. The groom then gets onto the horse and proceeds to the bride's house with the baraat who travel with lots of loud music and energetic dancing.
  • Milni: Here the elders of the family meet and greet each other with garlands. Prior to the meeting however, an Ardas takes place by an authoritative person who is in charge of the Sikh scriptures. It is he, who then makes a formal introduction between the two families. It is typically conducted between the men in the family and the introductions descend by age. (For example, the eldest Mamas from both sides will meet each other followed by the next eldest).
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And I'm going to stop right here because it is getting pretty late and this has gotten pretty long as well. I'll tell you guys about the actual wedding ceremony tomorrow. :)

By the way, as I have mentioned I am in no way an expert on this. So if you think I have made any mistakes or something should be added then please do let me know and I'll rectify it as soon as I can.
Edited by asmaanixx - 9 years ago

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Dawi thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#2
Thanks for taking the time to do all this...:)
Pilu05 thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#3
thanks 4 the info.🤗
I am a non-punjabi religion and lover of any other religions and their cultures and respect them a lot ...

glad to know about Punjabi wedding cultures 😃

thank u again
YD.AH thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Trailblazer Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 9 years ago
#4
wow so interesting
thanks for sharing dear
prem_diwani thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#5
Gurleen thank u very much for taking the time to research n type it all I loved the ceremonies. Too bad no one in my age group is getting married I'd love to see it..

I wondered too how a Mumbai wedding affects the ceremony
Sherni_Jerry thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#6
Thank you so much for this post taking your time out. really aporeciate your effort. such a informative post
did not knw all this.
cherrypansy thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#7
Thanks dear for the lovely information...
This reminds me the wedding of Preeti...one of my close friends.
kubare thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#8
Thank you dear for the lovely write up on Sikh Weddings...😃
Aafrah-SA thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 9 years ago
#9
Gurleen, I have three words for you - I love you.
As I had told you earlier, I am marrying into a Sikh family in. Month and half and it's an inter-religion marriage and I have no clue of how things go about, your post is going to be my bible for now! I have one place to fall back on and refer to. Thank you so so so much - this will someday help me wrote a more accurate fiction too, but importantly it will make me feel less ignorant at my own wedding.

Thank you for taking the time out and doing this for us!
Big hug to you!!
mandy001 thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 9 years ago
#10
Ribbon katai nd chunni chadhana is missing. I belong to the area where many sikh ppl live so thoda bhut mujhe pta h...
Ribbon katai is vry famous ritual in punjabi wedding where groom give some money to his saali before entering in palace.

Chunni chdhana is just a ritual. I dnt knw much abt it.

M a punjabi girl so all these ritual take place in our wedding also. Bt m hindu punjabi so we take pheras like we see on tv shows. Bt yes some similarities are there in wedding ritual

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