Thread 2-Celebration of Fates:RagNa FF, Part-44,Page-100, 21/02 - Page 20

PART-29

Sapna rubbed Kalpi's back in an attempt to give some comfort to her. She could hear and feel Kalpi's muffled sobs. Sapna knew that her friend was trying her best not to cry, not to break-down completely; it was still painful to see the state Kalpi was in. Sometimes tears do help though, "Then why does she refuse to cry?" Sapna thought.

"Kalpi please...I cannot see you like this. What happened? What is it about him, about Raghav that is bothering you Kalpi?I know it is about Raghav. Please tell me about it" Sapna said. "And if it makes you feel better, then cry your heart out Kalpi; once and for all. But please...stop hurting yourself" she requested Kalpi.

Kalpi lifted her head off Sapna's shoulder. "I can't...I cannot stop hurting myself Sapna. It kills me, but I cannot stop hurting myself because I deserve it. I cannot cry, not yet. But these tears, these too break my trust like I broke Raghav's. They won't stop, just like I hadn't stopped myself. I had not thought twice before going away from Raghav's life" Kalpi said and took a long breath, gathering herself.

Wiping her tears, Kalpi tried to compose herself once more. Her eyes looked lost, while she prepared to tell Sapna about the events of last night. "You know Sapna, I was so wrong. I was so wrong about Raghav eight years ago. I was wrong in judging him, but then maybe I shouldn't at all have judged him in the first place. He was my companion since childhood; he was the one who had always helped me despite our fights. I always knew that he won't take my advantage, or hurt me. But I gave myself every wrong reason to push him away, only because I was not ready to face my new feelings for him" she said raising her eyes to meet Sapna's concerned ones.

"Raghav had never planned my wardrobe malfunction. He never wanted to throw me out of the group. It was Nisha always. In fact once again, he had just protected me and stood for my honour. And what did I give him in return? A slap and insult. I pushed him so hard that he did not even bother to show me the proofs of his innocence", "I want to see him Sapna. I want to confess my sins in front of my idol. I want to ask for his forgiveness, because till then this peace shall always elude me" Kalpi said clutching her heart.

Sapna's eyes welled up seeing Kalpi in so much pain. "Oh Kalpi, do not hurt yourself so much. Raghav has already forgiven you; and you know that. Don't allow so much pain into you, please" she requested Kalpi.

"No, let me speak Sapna. Let me speak; for this pain is my own earning. This hurt is my own doing, I should bear it. Raghav lived with it for eight years. Let me bear it for one day at least" Kalpi protested.

"You know it was just one night and few more hours before fate permitted me to meet my Raghav. But every second in this distance of time pricked my conscience like a thousand needles. My heart bled at the thought that I made Raghav's heart bleed. But I felt him every minute with me, his touch, his presence, everything. After eight years our fate brought us together again. Or maybe the karma played its role, so that I burn in the fire of repentance. The person whom I tried to hate, whom I tried to push away forever; he has become the reason of my happy days and nights. He...he has become important. He returned in my life and heart in a way unfathomable, never to leave. He..." Kalpi confessed.

"What does he mean to you Kalpi?" Sapna asked, interrupting Kalpi hoping that those three magical words leave her lips today at least. Kalpi gave a defeated yet calm look to Sapna. "Everything" she answered, "Raghav means everything to me."

Sapna had smiled hearing Kalpi's reply. She saw the faint smile in Kalpi's eyes when she was uttering those words. It was surely a good sign as far as Sapna was concerned. Still Kalpi was in pain and Sapna knew that only Raghav can be Kalpi's cure, "I hope you meet your medicine soon Kalpi; because I cannot see you like this. I hope you meet Raghav soon" she thought, praying to God in her heart.

It was as if God heard the earnest prayers and the ringtone of Kalpi's cell broke attention of both friends. Kalpi looked in the direction of the table where her cell was kept and a hope lit in her. "Maybe it is Raghav" she thought and raced to attend the call. Her eyes stuck to the screen where the name of caller was flashing, "RAGHAV" it read; and Kalpi did not waste another minute in answering the call.

"Hi" Raghav said in response to Kalpi's frantic "Hello". "I just returned home from meeting; and...I'll be waiting for you. I'll send the driver to pick you..." he said continuing but an impatient and happy Kalpana cut his words in-between. "I am coming Raghav, I am coming. I cannot wait for driver...even if I deserve this, I cannot wait. I am coming to Singhania Mansion" Kalpi said. Without waiting to hear Raghav's reply she grabbed her pursed and turned to rush out of Sapna's home.

"Kalpi wait...you'll get sick. Change your clothes first!" Sapna exclaimed.

"No, I don't have time. I have to go" Kalpi replied without turning back and ran out to meet her life, her idol, her Raghav.

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Breaths ragged and trembling hands, Kalpi's fingers were raised to press the doorbell. This was it; she was standing at the main door of Singhania Mansion. In a few seconds more, she'd be standing in front of her idol; the one whom she had mercilessly attempted to cut off from her life. "Tonight is the date when Kalpana Jadhav will accept her defeat in front of Raghav Singhania" Kalpi thought, her fingers curling hesitatingly. The fight between the guilt and readiness to accept her defeat was tearing her inside. Her inner emotions churned and churned till the feeling of pain numbed Kalpi.

But, the eagerness of a child Raghav's self-confessed protge soon won over. She willed her heart to be strong and almost pressed the doorbell when Gauri opened the door. "Kalpi beta, how are you?" Gauri said hugging Kalpi lovingly. Kalpi hugged her back, feeling the guilt wash her all over again. After all her own stubbornness had proven to be bigger than the love she had for Gauri Taai. "I am okay Taai" she replied. "Then why does my child look so weary and disheveled?" Gauri insisted on asking but got the same reply. "I am fine Taai, really. Just tired, just wanted to meet Raghav" Kalpi tried to assure Gauri not wanting to cry in front of her.

"Okay fine if you say so. Raghav is impatiently waiting for you. Go in the back, you know where our private beach is. You will find Raghav there, go" Gauri told Kalpi whose eyes lit up briefly. "Thank You Taai, Thank You so much" Kalpi said, taking her steps towards the private beach Singhania Mansion housed leaving a worried Gauri behind.

"Kamla was right, something is wrong. I hope Raghav's attempt to cheer her up works" Gauri thought as she stood with her arms cross-folded, watching a broken looking Kalpi.

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Raghav stood facing the vast ocean, watching the beautiful twilight hours painting the sky and water in colours of various hues. He had a smile on his face; he had made some arrangements to cheer up Kalpi this evening. Since last night he had been unable to find peace, knowing that something was definitely serious. Something had definitely been bothering Kalpana and the fact he did not even know the reason worried him.

Since the time they'd known each other, Raghav had not felt Kalpi to be like this. Even eight years ago when Kalpi had every reason to be upset as a girl, she had not behaved this way. She'd kept a strong face and Raghav knew this that Kalpana Jadhav was a fighter. Even today she was sounding disturbed making him wonder why?

So Raghav had decided to do his bit to change Kalpana's mood. Just next to the ocean, on the private beach of Singhanias' a table for two could be seen. Decorated beautifully with white table-cloth, yellow chrysanthemums and matching napkins the table had few of Kalpi's favourite snacks on it. "I might never be unable to have the experience of being a part of your life Kalpana; but Raghav Singhania will always be the reason to make YOUR life beautiful, Kalpi..." Raghav thought and closing his eyes inhaled the scent; of the ocean, of the food and of Kalpi. "She has come" Raghav smirked internally, as Kalpi's perfume filled his senses. The sound of light footsteps now became clearer and the scent stronger. Raghav opened his eyes and turned, Kalpi was somewhere behind him; and he knew it.

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Kalpi stood dumbfounded at the visuals which greeted her. The beautifully set table for two, the food and the vast ocean in front; everything combined with nature was perfect. Even Raghav was looking perfect dressed in blue jeans and white shirt. The only person not matching the surroundings was she herself; the only thing odd one out here was her presence. "I don't deserve your friendship Raghav, but I want it still. I am sorry, I am so selfish; and you..." Kalpi thought trying to come out of her speechless state. Her vision was blurry now and breaths hitched when she saw Raghav turn. The tears which she had kept at bay since so long started welling up her eyes on their own.

The walls of patience and control were threatening to break; and Kalpi found herself more breathless by each passing second. She saw Raghav turning and gazing her with a beatific smile on his face, before his expression turned into a concerned one. Quite clearly, he had sensed there was some kind of turmoil within her. For Kalpi herself it was a matter of few moments before her own emotions broke down and washed away everything. Before her Raghav, she knew it was impossible for her to hide or control anything. Like always, today also Raghav was the cause of the extreme emotions Kalpi was feeling. This time it was pain; an intense one and immense guilt. Mixed with the buried feelings Kalpi had for Raghav and she was in a complete mess, one from which only Raghav could pull her out.

"Kalpi" Raghav whispered in worry and started walking towards her. Kalpi closed and then opened her eyes for brief moments, trying to process the reality. Raghav was in fact in front of her and his frame was coming closer to her. The speed of her heartbeats became faster while her teary eyes remained stuck on Raghav. "How do I face him now? I cannot see even my reflection in mirror with peace. How do I look into Raghav's eyes? No Kalpi you will have to, you owe this to him" Kalpi thought as tears started flowing down her cheeks. Her feet ran towards Raghav and stopped short just a few inches away from him. She kept staring at Raghav's handsome but worried and confused face, before her courage to face him gave way.

She withdrew her gaze immediately and started looking down. Her body had started shaking violently with the effect of her sudden loud sobs now. "Kalpi what happened? Why are you crying? Is everything okay?" Raghav's voice drifted into her ears. He held her by shoulders "Kalpana are you listening to me?" Raghav asked again. "And why do you look like this? For God's sake tell me please" he said tensed. But instead of answering Kalpi threw herself in Raghav's arms. Her feeble frame shaking loudly in Raghav's arms as he protectively enveloped her.

"Sssh...I am with you" he said and caressed Kalpi's hair. His hug gave Kalpi the much needed warmth and comfort. Before her confession and new knowledge build walls between them again; before she lost the right to touch Raghav again; the right to feel his touch again, Kalpi needed it. She continued crying more loudly, the flow of her tears became stronger. Raghav's white shirt was now soaked in the tears flowing out of Kalpi's eyes but he did not mind. Giving comfort to Kalpi was more necessary. Raghav's arms shielded Kalpi from the pain she was feeling and took with them every ounce of self-control on her emotions. She hid her face more into Raghav's chest and murmured "I am sorry."

Feeling Kalpi was saying something Raghav broke the hug. "What did you say? Sorry? But for what?" he asked, still holding Kalpi's shoulders. "R,R, R,Ra..ghav..." Kalpi stuttered and stammered with the effect of her sobs which she was trying to control now. "Yes honeybee, I am here" Raghav assured Kalpi. Hearing her name of love from Raghav's mouth a few more tears left Kalpi's eyes. Taking a deep breath and still looking down, Kalpi started to speak again, "R, Raghav. I am sorry. I ad..."

"Yes but sorry for what Kalpi? You haven't done anything" Raghav replied now frustrated at this mystery. Willing herself to steel and wiping her tears, Kalpi at last looked into Raghav's eyes. It was now or never; it was Raghav's moment and she would give him just that.

"I accept my defeat Raghav. I accept I was wrong" she said and felt Raghav's fingers flutter on her shoulders. His eyes had widened a bit, as the realization began to dawn on him. But the curtain of confusion was still there and Kalpi needed to clear all. She felt her breaths becoming ragged again, "I admit Raghav that you affect me; you always had affected me, my body, my whole being, everything. You always have affected every corner of me and my life. Your touch, your touch of inspiration and protection affected my life. Your physical touch, the warmth of your hands and sweetness of your lips, always affected my body, my soul. Your touch had affected me then when you had first kissed me, that fateful night of eight years ago. Your touch affects me even now, my heart flutters when I am close to you and my skin comes alive. I admit Raghav; I lost. Today, Kalpana Jadhav accepts her defeat in front of Raghav Singhania. She accepts that in Raghav's arms, Kalpana has always found her heaven where she happily gets lost. My body and soul is yours Raghav, ALWAYS & FOREVER."

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Speechless, Raghav had heard every word his honeybee had uttered. Words which were once the goal of his life even till few days ago; words which he had already started giving up on. Out of the blue moon, his honeybee had come and admitted her defeat when he least expected it. Now he did not want to see the face of Kalpana's defeat but the face of her true emotions for him, which were the food for his soul. Yet, his honeybee was in front of him, accepting her defeat. Her eyes and face spoke so many varied emotions too. But to be honest, did he really want Kalpana's defeat? Had he really wanted Kalpi on his feet?

After so many years; and so many days of Kalpana being near to him had taught Raghav one thing. Kalpi's defeat did not mean anything; the only true meaning of that defeat was "Kalpi's presence in his life; her remaining always near to him. But now, more than Kalpana's presence, her happiness was important. Yet this sudden admission by Kalpana only opened the flood-gates of pain and memories of that eight years' ago fateful night and the following events; the following years.

Kalpana's defeat will not bring back those eight years of loneliness and vacuum when Raghav had lost himself. But her smile would certainly makeup for those years. What was lost would never come back, no matter how hard they both tried. The pain Raghav had felt all those years with the last memory of Kalpi's face as his company; that pain was real. Those memories attached with Kalpana's face and her eyes were of hatred, anger and distrust for himself. The moments of that pain cannot be erased; those painful memories cannot be deleted. But Kalpi's smile, a smile given by him would make new memories.

Eight years ago Kalpana's distrust in him had awakened the old ego and attitude of Raghav Singhania. His own honeybee had refused to trust him, refused to give him even one chance of telling his side. His own honeybee had believed a third person but not him. Could his honeybee really think of him so low? Wardrobe malfunction? Was this the trust his honeybee had on her Gauri Taai and Kamla Maa's upbringing? Was this the only thing Kalpi understood about him, that he fought with her and hurt her? Could she not see his hidden care for her, care which Raghav always knew did bonded them. But Kalpi? Was this the only belief Kalpi had on him? Did Kalpi really think that Raghav had cared for Kalpi only out of duty because their both mothers wanted it? Was this what Kalpi thought about him? He'd thought their relation to have some deeper roots at least, of trust. Was this the opinion Kalpi carried for him that one night of storm would uproot everything they'd shared till then?

Kalpi had taken away that one chance from Raghav, of trust and belief; to allow him to explain his side first before impulsively taking any action. After all, Kalpi was not just any other teenage girl, she was his honeybee; and she'd always been way more mature beyond her age. Then how? After all those years, did he have to fight to earn that trust and belief which Raghav had thought to be his right? No, Kalpi's trust in him was already his right and he would not fight to earn or prove it. Thus hurt and pained beyond words but unable to share anything with anyone Raghav had never shown the proofs to Kalpi.

Not wanting his mother's relation with Kalpi to be affected; not wanting Gauri to think ill of Kalpi, Raghav never shared the reason with her too. His pain was his, he would fight it himself, alone. He would not burden his mother or sister with it.

Could Kalpi's defeat bring back the lost years of Kamla Maa's love for him? No, but their present was beautiful and pain of past did not deserve to taint their future. Now tears were flowing from Raghav's eyes also "Kalpana...I...honeybee, this...it does not matter now" Raghav shook his head, indicating Kalpi not to say anything further. "This..." he began but Kalpi interrupted and gave him another shock.

"No...it does matter Raghav, it does matter" Kalpi said hugging Raghav, keeping her head on his chest. "It does matter" she uttered and raised her head. "Why did you not tell me?"; "Nisha! I know about her"; "Why did you not tell me Raghav? Why did you not tell me?" Kalpi broke down and cried loudly "Aaah, I lost everything" she cried loudly, as her knees gave way and she sat crying at Raghav's feet. "Raghav is not accepting my sorry, my admittance" Kalpi thought completely broken now.

Hugging Raghav's legs, Kalpi kept wailing "I lost you. I lost my idol, my companion, my protector, my father-like figure; my friend and...much more. Why did you not tell me? I am so stupid Raghav, your honeybee is so stupid. Without you by my side, I lost even you." Her voice broke into hiccups while Raghav stood completely shocked, processing what just happened. He closed his eyes in pain and sadness as this pain of eight years intensified manifold. This time it fought with the peace in his heart he always felt due to Kalpi's presence. The darkness threatened to envelope him and Kalpi's words kept ringing in his ears. Her every word of the secret which he'd carried within his heart; shook him. He'd have remained like this had he not felt Kalpi's thin arms around his legs, her eyes soaking his jeans and feet.

Coming out of his trance, Raghav held Kalpi by shoulders and made her stand. "Kalpi...Kalpi..." he managed to whisper out her name amidst his own pain and tears. But Kalpi was in her own world. "No Raghav, I accept my defeat completely. I lost you eight years ago Raghav. Now I don't want to lose you, my idol, and my hero. Not my father but you've been hero all through my life; and I..." she sobbed loudly again. "I insulted you, distrusted you. Punish me Raghav, insult me, slap me, but please forgive me" Kalpi looked around frantically in her trance. "If, If, If you want; you can take repayment for every second of pain and betrayal of these eight years. If, if you want...I, I am ready to submit myself before you" Kalpana removed the dupatta off her shoulders and threw on the ground. The low-neck kurta and still damp kurta revealed her figure.

"I am standing before you Raghav. My body is all yours, I am yours. You can do anything you want" she said hesitatingly while Raghav stood shocked. "I'm ready to spend this night with you, in this mansion, anywhere you want. Punish me Raghav, if that heals the pain I gave you. But, but please forgive me. I beg you Raghav, I beg..." Kalpi said but stopped short on hearing an angry shout of "Kalpi" from Raghav's mouth.

She raised her red eyes to look into equally puffed up but now red with anger eyes of Raghav. He stood there with a half-raised hand, ready to slap her. Raghav's eyes threw daggers at her, he looked first at his hand and then at Kalpi. Unable to bring himself from hitting her, Raghav waved his arm at the glass on the table, throwing it off the table. Blood started trickling from the little wound formed in his hand and being concerned Kalpi started moving towards him. But Raghav stopped her, "STOP" he said.

RAGHAV: "I said stop right there"; "Keh kya rahi ho tum kuchh hosh bhi hai? (What are you saying; are you even in your senses?)"; "Aakhir apne aapko samajhti kya ho tum? (What the hell do you think of yourself?)"; "Tu jab jo chahogi, wo karogi; aur wo humesha ho jaega? (You do whatever you want when you desire; and you will always succeed?)"; "Ab tumhe meri mafi chahiye huh? Aur uske liye tum kuchh bhi karne ko taiyar ho? Kuchh bhi karogi? Kuchh bhi bole jaa rahi ho? (Now you want forgiveness from me huh? And for that you are ready to do anything? You will do anything? You're going on uttering anything!)"; "Maine bhi chahi thi tum se ye maafi aath saal pehle, us gunaah ki jo maine kabhi kara hi nahi. Maine bhi chaha tha tum mujhe samjho, mujhe maaf kardo. Par mujhe itna sab bolne ka mauka bhi nahi mila tha!Aur ab tum chahti ho main tumhe maaf kar dun. Wo bhi kis keemat par huh? Apni izzat ki keemat par Kalpi? Bas itna hi jaanti ho mujhe? (I too had wanted this forgiveness from you eight years ago, of that sin which I'd never committed. I too had wanted you to understand me, to forgive me. But I did not get the opportunity to speak so much! Now you want that I forgive you; and that too at what cost? At the cost of your honour Kalpi? Do you know me only this much)."

"Tumne fir ek baar jata diya ki tum mujhe janti hi nahi. Tum aisa soch bhi kaise sakti ho? Ek baar fir aath saal pehle wali galti kar di na tumne? (Once again you proved that you don't know me. How can you even think like this? The mistake of eight years ago, you commit the same once again right?)" Raghav said, looking tired and hurt.

"Nahi Raghav aisa nahi hai. Mera wo matlab nahi tha please" (No Raghav this is not the case. I did not mean like that, please) Kalpi pleaded now beyond nervous.

"Aisa hi hai Kalpi; aisa hi hai. Tumhari problem hi yahi hai. Jab jo chahti ho, wo soch bana leti ho. Jab jo chahti ho, ek pal nahi lagati waisa sochne ke liye; mere liye muh se shabd nikalne se pehle. Bas, keh deti ho aur mujhe tod deti ho. Tum mujhe nahi janti Kalpi, tum mujhe nahi jaanti. Aur main tumhe maanf nahi kar sakta (This is what it is Kalpi; this is what it is. This is what your problem is. You make your thoughts that way you desire, when you want. When you want, you don't spend another second to think; before uttering out words for me. You just, speak out and break me. You don't understand me Kalpi, you don't understand me. And I cannot forgive you)" Raghav said and felt Kalpi on his feet again, shedding tears.

"I am sorry Raghav. I just wanted your forgiveness. I did not want to hurt you" she said crying. Raghav made Kalpi stand again and said, "Main tumhe aisi kisi bhi bakwaas shart ke liye maanf nahi kar sakta. Kyunki main tumhe kab ka maanf kar chuka hoon. Bas chot ke nishaan nahi gaye the, wo bhi chale jayenge. Main bas tumhari khushi chahta tha Kalpi; tumhari khushi se apni khushi chahta hoon" (I cannot forgive you for any nonsense condition of this kind; because I had forgiven you way long back. Only scars of the wound hadn't gone, those too will leave soon. I just wanted your happiness Kalpi; want my happiness in your happiness)."

Saying so Raghav hugged Kalpi tightly and Kalpi cried in his chest. "Fir kabhi mujhe samajhne mei galti na karna Kalpi. Main toot jaunga" (Now do not ever falter in understanding me Kalpi. I will break)" Raghav said. He bent down, picked up Kalpi's dupatta and made her wear it covering her. "And I am sorry for not telling you about the proofs against Nisha eight years ago. I am sorry; it was my hurt, my pain and My Ego which did not let me. But I suffered a lot without you Kalpi, I suffered a lot. Don't ever leave me please" he said.

"No Raghav, I am sorry for disbelieving you. I should have trusted you Raghav. I should have trusted my idol. I am sorry. But now, even without proofs I knew you cannot be my culprit. You believe me na Raghav?" Kalpi asked her eyes pleaded with Raghav's eyes; her arms still hugged Raghav for life.

"Yes Kalpi I do believe you" Raghav said kissing Kalpi on her head. "Then, yesterday Shinde Sir came showed me everything. I am sorry Raghav, I am sorry. I still want you to punish me the way you want" Kalpi requested and cried.

"No Kalpi, I only want the company of your happiness now. Just forget the past" Raghav said.

"Really?" Kalpi asked raising her head and Raghav nodded his in a yes.

"I won't ever distrust or disbelieve you again Raghav, I promise. I will try my best to understand you" Kalpi promised Raghav keeping her head back on Raghav's chest, hugging him.

Raghav made Kalpi look into his eyes and wiped the tears off her face. "You better don't and no more tears" he said, cupping Kalpi's face and dipped his head to take her lips in an intense kiss, fuelling a passion both had not felt before. Soon his one arm had encircled Kalpi's waist and other was around her neck, his fingers tingled Kalpi's skin. Kalpi's arms too found their way around Raghav's neck, pulling him closer. But their kiss did not end as Raghav and Kalpana let themselves lost in this moment where neither the past mattered nor the future. The only relevance was of their own feelings, themselves; where for a few seconds the time itself also became RagNa (Raghav and Kalpana).

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction using characters from the show "Ek Mutthi Aasmaan" on "Zee TV". The characters are owned by creators and owners of the show.

NOTE: Next update will not be of "Celebration of Fates" but one of "The Inevitable Beginning" or "The Glass Wall"