ArHi FF: Revealed #7 | Link to Thread 8 Pg 1 - Page 33

Originally posted by: chotidesi

Your dialogue is always fantastic- their words speak volumes, and you draw us to feel the tone, the emotions, and the subtle changes in their voices that we would hear if we were in the room with them. But your chapter without dialogue brought those same elements out in a completely different way. Instead of in their voices, their thoughts and their actions were where we could see the delicate shifts in mood and feeling. I love how they notice things about each other- I've always loved those intimate details that aren't really sexual, but there is romance in them. You include them often- the little glances across the room, the secret smiles... those little moments were the highlight of this chapter. They filled the space that the silence left.

I loved the analogy between the rain and washing away their pain. You mirrored it in Arnav later too, and I absolutely loved this parallel:

And as she turned to face him, the tenderness in his grey blue eyes was enough for her to push away those lingering clouds and take his hand to begin their journey."

"Despite the grey clouds peeking through from outside due to the rainy weather, he felt an undeniable warmth emanating from her."

Their house might have crumbled, but the foundation for their relationship is still there. They seek out each other to find the light they need to find their way through the darkness, and it was a beautifully done parallel. That trust in him is undeniable, and he has the same faith in her. After what they've been through together, it speaks volumes about their relationship.

And they reaffirm it as they take those seven steps up to their house together- it's as if they're starting over, building it back up brick by brick... but at the same time, it's familiar. They still have that foundation with them, only this time, they know what will bring the house down. It's like... when you're building with legos, and you break your structure apart- you're still using the same legos, and they're still just as good. But you can create an even better structure, one that's stronger and cooler.

It is very difficult to convey that through a screen- there are so many little things that we do unconsciously that aid those around us in judging what we mean to say, and somehow... you brought it out in two characters that aren't even real in a way that makes it seem as if we are sitting there with them.

Very well done.

Love you always,

Your Choti.

Jigs, this Interlude was like a soothing, summer breeze. A period of reflection and an acceptance of missed beats in the rhythm of life.

Seeing Arnav and Khushi through each other's eyes brings home to you the depth of their feeling for the other. And just how easy it is to lose our way in the minefield of relationships and allow silence to enshroud us. A cloak of silence which we put on to seemingly protect our emotions, gradually begins to muffle the sound of our own heart.

You have shown Arnav's musings so beautifully as he peers into himself to find answers. To accept his own responsibility for the part he played in "letting" things get to where they did. It's the tender mixture of admiration and adoration with which he sees his wife that's so intensely moving.

Khushi feeling that mix of "free" and "guilt" is just so her. I loved how you showed her reaching out to the raindrops, allowing them cleanse her soul.

The two of them walking up the seven steps to their home shows just how of a chasm they have traversed since the last time Khushi had sat herself down there. Her "I closed my mouth and spoke to you in a hundred silent ways." - Rumi, then and now so so different as they reaffirm their vows. It feels so much more powerful now. The determination which comes from nearly having lost each other and knowing that that's not what want ever.

"And with every step he took towards her, she matched him taking a step forward." This sums up perfectly just how far they have travelled. And now waiting for them to begin the journey forward together once again.

Dialogue is indeed superfluous when you have penned their feelings so beautifully my love. ❤️

Originally posted by: chotidesi

Your dialogue is always fantastic- their words speak volumes, and you draw us to feel the tone, the emotions, and the subtle changes in their voices that we would hear if we were in the room with them. But your chapter without dialogue brought those same elements out in a completely different way. Instead of in their voices, their thoughts and their actions were where we could see the delicate shifts in mood and feeling. I love how they notice things about each other- I've always loved those intimate details that aren't really sexual, but there is romance in them. You include them often- the little glances across the room, the secret smiles... those little moments were the highlight of this chapter. They filled the space that the silence left.

I loved the analogy between the rain and washing away their pain. You mirrored it in Arnav later too, and I absolutely loved this parallel:

And as she turned to face him, the tenderness in his grey blue eyes was enough for her to push away those lingering clouds and take his hand to begin their journey."

"Despite the grey clouds peeking through from outside due to the rainy weather, he felt an undeniable warmth emanating from her."

Their house might have crumbled, but the foundation for their relationship is still there. They seek out each other to find the light they need to find their way through the darkness, and it was a beautifully done parallel. That trust in him is undeniable, and he has the same faith in her. After what they've been through together, it speaks volumes about their relationship.

And they reaffirm it as they take those seven steps up to their house together- it's as if they're starting over, building it back up brick by brick... but at the same time, it's familiar. They still have that foundation with them, only this time, they know what will bring the house down. It's like... when you're building with legos, and you break your structure apart- you're still using the same legos, and they're still just as good. But you can create an even better structure, one that's stronger and cooler.

It is very difficult to convey that through a screen- there are so many little things that we do unconsciously that aid those around us in judging what we mean to say, and somehow... you brought it out in two characters that aren't even real in a way that makes it seem as if we are sitting there with them.

Very well done.

Love you always,

Your Choti.