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The TSM Times brings you exclusive news about controversies galore in Benaras! If you thought life was happening in Mumbai and Delhi or New York, you have got it all wrong. And we at The TSM Times have all the scoop of the happenings in Benaras.
The Chaubeys have alleged that the Guptas unceremoniously returned the shaadi ki Shagun. The Gupta men were clueless about the incident but the Gupta women claimed the there was one peanut in the Shagun that was bigger than all their brains combined and refused to accept the Shagun back until they were given peanuts smaller than the size of their brains.
In order to settle the matter and measure the size of the Gupta women's brains, GC invited them over to the haveli. It is here that the most shocking revelation happened. Ramashrey Gupta's bua is actually an alien in disguise with extra sensory perception! She has the unique ability of listening through walls and determining how well built a house is! As soon as this news came out, the Government of India was quick to take action and appoint Buaji as the new Buildings and Construction Minister. The Civil Engineers Association of India is planning a strike to oppose the loss if employment they will suffer due to Buaji's extra sensory capabilities!
Ramashrey's mausi has been diagnosed with an acute case of delusion! She is seen falling on younger men, half her age and attempting to flirt with them. All young men of Benaras are warned to stay indoors for the next few days to protect their honor. The Guptas have refused to accept any responsibility for loss of izzat due to Mausi's actions.
Ramashrey's naani has complained that she has developed acidity after visiting the Mathur-Chaubey haveli. According to her, Ms. Amaya Mathur was way too "theekhi" for her to digest. The TSM Team contacted an expert gastroenterologist in this regard and they suggested that Naniji should avoid going to Mathur haveli and interacting with Amaya in the future. The doctor also suggested that Amaya Mathur should engage in some real life and not imaginary lovey dovey escapades with a suitor of her choice, who goes by the name Mantu, in order to make her inconspicuously absent in gatherings where Naniji is present.
It has been reported that Mr. Ramashrey Gupta was missing from 2-2:15 PM this afternoon. It was suspected that his Love virus infection might have caused him to wander into Rachita Mathur's room and mouth incessant dialogues on love. Since Ms. Rachita Mathur does not have the Love virus, she was unimpressed by his efforts.
The biggest controversy however to be reported from Benaras is the suspicious presence of a lipstick mark right below the lower lip of Mr. Mantu Shrivastav. Our reporter also has exclusive access to images that show that Ms. Amaya Mathur's lipstick to appear suspiciously smeared. However, the evidence was promptly destroyed by the parties involved. When quizzed, Amaya Mathur said, "I have no idea what you are talking about. What does a smeared lipstick mean? And what if there is lipstick on Mantu's lip too? I really don't know how lipstick on a girl' slips gets smudged and smeared onto a guys. There is no physical process capable of doing that in this world! I haven't heard of such a thing even in Paris!"
Our reporter next went to Mr. Mantu and he said, "Look! I was just doing my duty of standing guard for my friend, Ramashrey. I wanted to stop her from going in and also stop her from making noise and letting others know. I could've pinned her against the wall and kissed her senseless and done a lot of other things that I really want to do but I didn't! The transfer of lipstick was by accident! I swear we didn't kiss. Whenever we do kiss, I will let all of you know. For now, please don't ruin my reputation or my friend's though I don't really know what Ramashrey was doing inside the closed room with Rachita Mathur. I wonder when I'll get a chance to do that kind of a closed door romance? Not with Rachita.. With Amaya!" When the reporter reminded Mantu that he had insisted that he no longer had the love virus, Mantu said, "Well, I mean, I don't have the Love virus. This is just future planning."
Mr. Rudra is advertising for an extra pair of eyes and ears to keep a track of all the happenings in the Mathur-Chaubey Haveli. He could also use extra pairs of hands and legs to help with carrying bedding, bedsheets, pillows, chairs and for all the nitty gritty work he has been assigned in the house. Interested parties please contact 1-800-KYAKYA-KAREIN.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
