Posted:
Suno! Suno bhai sab suno! Banaras sheher ki taaza khabrein!
Concerned about your blood sugar levels after watching Gajanand Chaubey's sickeningly, nauseatingly sweet bend-over-backwards attitude towards the Guptas? The very same GC who referred to the Guptas as not honorable or worthy enough to be the slipper in his feet? Well today, the old man went on his knees and begged and pleaded to the Guptas to agree to marry Rachita to Rama. You ask where his high standing morals and honor disappeared? Apparently private humiliation, being made to beg, is more tolerable than a public one where people will talk for a few days and move on to better things to do with their life. But GC seems unaware of the fact that Banaras and the lives of Banarasis do not revolve around him and his family matters.
But fear not! If GC's sweetness made you sick in the pit of your stomach, the makers have Sumitra Gupta's kadva karela juice spiced with taunts and abuses aplenty to help your digestion. A spoonful of Guptaji's kindness and niceness has also been added in to reduce the acerbicness of Sumitra's taunts.
If your heart melted seeing GC get humiliated and go down on his knees to beg for his granddaughter's happiness and you started to feel for him, please make sure to keep heart refreezing agents handy. Our inside sources inform us that all of this was only the old man's way of protecting his family's honor and ensuring that the rest of the girls in the family do not remain unmarried due to Rachita's wrongdoings. It is assumed that GC's need to get the girls get married off stems from the increasing prices of groceries. Feeding so many mouths must not be easy especially since he won't take help from the girls. Also, the additional charges of keeping a 24x7 bodyguard, Rudra, can be eliminated if the girls get married off to bodyguards... Oops.. Some guy or the other.
The biggest breaking news however, is the opening of the Dev Babu Academy of Villainy in Benaras. Since this is a new venture, we hear that the Director of the Institute himself, Mr. Dev Agnihotri, is out on the streets, scouring for potential recruits. The qualifications for admission to the Institute are bare minimum: a hatred or dislike towards any or all of the members of the Chaubey-Mathur clan and a quest for revenge, no matter how small. The academy specializes in training you how to change your small, short-term plans for revenge into bigger, well schemed long term plans. Admission to the institute requires a signed form of compliance to all of the director's instructions and agreement to invest a lot of time, energy and effort. The success rate of graduation from the institute is unknown but the Director gives personal guarantee of satisfaction with results. The current recruits at the academy include Rudra Bhaiyya and Sumitra Devi. Our reporter, however, has significant faith in the Director's abilities that he will, sooner or later, recruit Uma Devi to join the institute as well.
Post her first class at the Institute, Sumitra Devi has introduced a new rule in Chaubey-Mathur land that all members involved in the wedding match shall be governed by rules and regulations set by the Gupta family. We spoke to Gajanand Chaubey about the new law and he said, "I am honorable, law a aiding citizen and I have ways had immense respect for the Gupta family, especially Sumitra Devi. Not to mention, Ramashrey Gupta, my would be grandson-in-law is a very pious and decent young man. I have hand picked him for my granddaughter Rachita. We will be happy to comply with any new laws that the family introduces!" TSM Times team wish GC and the Chaubey-Mathur clan all the best for their new government.
In other news, it is reported that Shubham Hospital in Banaras suffered a power outage between 10:30 AM and 10:35 AM. The power outage was caused because of a sudden power surge that caused the circuit breaker to trip. It is suspected that a patient named Ramashrey Gupta's 100000 watt smile is what caused the power surge and subsequent loss of power. Our reporter was able to find out from secret sources that the reason for Ramashrey Gupta's epic smile was that he heard that Ms. Rachita Mathur was in love with him and wanted to marry him.
In the lost and found section: Ms. Rachita Mathur has lost her trust. The complainant claimed that she had placed her trust on Ramashrey Gupta and love and was cheated both times. Ramashrey Gupta's newly appointed lawyer, Amaya Mathur, is in talks with the complainant to retrieve the lost valuable and look for a before marriage settlement to the issue.
Matrimonial ad: Dimple Chaubey is looking for a good looking, rich, smart, educated, honorable (preferably from Mumbai, Delhi or some other big city) suitor for her daughter who would be willing to wait a couple of years till her daughter is of marriageable age. Interested parties please contact Dimple Chaubey as soon as possible at 1800-WORRIED-MOM.
In Sports News, Ramashrey Gupta hits a sixer out of the park while GC sits dumbfounded by making Mantu the captain of the wedding team from both sides. We have also heard rumors that Amaya Mathur will be strongly contending for the post of vice-captain of said team. The reporter wonders how strong an innings Mr. Abhimanyu Shrivastav and Ms. Amaya Mathur will play on the field in face of the googlies and bouncers from the opposition team bowlers, GC, Uma and Rudra.
Stay tuned with the Tere Sheher Mein times for more spicy, juicy gossip and updates!
- TSM times special correspondent
Anupamaa
Seher Hone Ko Hai
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
