New Asya SS:Crossing time, chap 14 (LAST); 08-11-15 - Page 45

He was there, where everything started for him, at this place where we can still heard their laugh and their happiness. He was there all alone without her by his side. He didn't want to change this moment, his encounter with her was the best thing that happened to him, but could we say the same for her? Everything remained the same, the color, this tree and this place.

-hey buddy, you are at my place, came a voice behind the tree

He knows this voice, it seemed so familiar and suddenly the silhouette made his appearance and his eyes grew up widely.

-Leo? He said

-you know me? Leo asked surprised and he sat lazily on the ground eating his chocolate bar, but do I know you?

-I guess no, he sat in front him, he was mesmerized by this appearance, he was back in his past and he was facing the reason of his agony but he didn't know why he was happy to see him after so long, maybe he missed him more than he can confess.

-I am sorry buddy, but you know this is my tree, plus my friend was about to come and if I was you, I will run from her, she is a bit, he did some circles next to his temple, crazy and impulsive.

-Zed, he smiled soflty at this memory, all those words sounded so pure and so far in his mouth.

-Yes, how do you know? He asked worried, are you stalking us? He stared at him suspicious

-not at all, if you just know who I am, you wouldn't say that

-so tell me, who you are? He crossed his arms on his chest

-I am...You

-Me? He pointed to himself raising his eyebrows weirdly

-Yes, I am you in the future, if I can say like this. He scanned him from head to toe and held his face closer to him, looking his feartures closely.

- NAA, it can't be, you are looking to perfect to be me, even in my dreams I know I will never be that handsome. I lied to Zed but I don't believe my own lies, how can you be ME? I mean look at you and look at me.

-but it's the truth, I am you in 13 years. Asad laughed at him, this innocence touched his heart, the one that he left the day he broke his heart.

-Really? Woow, I mean wow, I can believe it. I am too handsome, I think I fell in love with myself. Asad laughed at him and posed abruptly, this laugh seemed so foreigner to his ears, did he really laugh? It felt good, weird but good, he though. So tell me, what I will do in the future? I am a model?

-No

-A rock star?

-At all

-you are right, I don't play guitar, anyway, a plastic surgeron?

-no, he giggled at him

-then what?

-a business man

-Business man? He spat his tongue out in disgust, I can't be , it was supposed to be the last one of my wishing list, for sure you are not me.

-But I am

-Anyway, I don't matter if it helps me to be famous, I just wished not to be boring, anyway, do I have many girls running behind me?

-actually...Yes

-I knew it, I always knew that they are going to be crazy about me, so how many girlfriend do I have?

-Zero

-Zero? Are you for real? What do you mean I have zero? With this body, I was supposed to have, he counted on his hands, I should not be able to count them in my two hands.

-yes, but the truth is that you fell in love that's why you don't have a plenty of girlfriend

-Am I married? He asked in shock

-No

-Ahh, thank God, I am not, I am too young for this, he sighed relieved

-You are impossible Leo

-You just talked like her, he shook his head amused. So who is this lucky girl who stole my heart and my sanity? He said annoyed

-Zoya, he closed his eyes recalling her face and he smiled like an idiot

-Nice name, and how does she look? Is she hot?

-You can't imagine how beautiful she is, she is so perfect, so ethereal and so stuning, that I want to cry each time I saw her, she makes me feel alive, weak, crazy and she turned my heart and my life upside down, Asad said dreamily with a teary eyes.

-Woww, Leo was speechless, she must be really really hot

-She is, Asad smiled shyly

-Oh my god, you are blushing, I can't wait to see her

-You know her actually? He frowned, it's Zed

-Zed? My Zed? I fell in love with Zed in the future? How this happened? And is she also in love with me?

-Yes, but she don't want to be with me

-Why?

-I don't know, but all I know, she wants you back in my life and I don't you back in mine

-but why? I don't understand, if you are me and me you, then I am with you.

-it's complicated, he sighed

-not at all, I guess you became to boring for her that why she asked you to be me, simple

-Of course not, I am totally opposite to your personality, I am not anyore you and I don't want to be you ever. I changed a lot and I rejected all this part of you, memories, characters, habits, mimics. I am not anymore wearing glasses or braces. I mean look at me, he explained

-but you also said that she wanted me and not you. I know Zed more than you even if she became your Zoya, her heart will always be Zed.

-I don't need you, Leo, you are the reason why I lost her for 13 years. It was too long, can you imagine how I suffer without her?

-You lost her? You mean I lost Zed and it's because of me? But how this happened? I mean I will never hurt her, she is my best friend.

-but you hurt her, deeply and you didn't spare her heart, and I hate you for this. I hate you for trusting people easily, for making yourself a puppet, I hate you for giving a chance to person who didn't deserve. I hate you for looking at life only in the one side, while life sucks. I hate you for all the pain that I went through because of your innocence.

-I am sorry, I will even hate myself if I hurt her, I guess I can't blame you and I understand your feelings.

-see this is exactely what I hate about you, you are finding excuses while you should be angry on yourself, but no, you are still in your bubble, Oh everyone is nice, everyone is beautiful, let us be in peace. FU** YOU, you hear me, FU** YOUR POSITIVE MIND. Life is hard man, why can't you see? Why are you still believing and giving chance to humanity?

-I guess it's because I was raised to love and not to hate

-No, Leo, you just grew up to hate, look at me. I am hating myself, I am hating this life and the one that I hate the most it's YOU.

-but why? Why do you hate me so much? I made a mistake , everyone makes mistake. Leo asked sadly

-Because you were not strong enough, Asad replied with teary eyes, because you didn't protect my parent's room, because you gave a chance to a person who didn't deserve. You should have stop him earlier, but you gave him a chance, trusting his humanity while he didn't show pity. You let him go and he destroyed you, taking the last breath of your humanity. You let him win because you were naive, so naive.

-I didn't know, I guess I've learnt hardly and I see that I am still caring deep wounds, he stared at him deeply. I didn't know that I was able to do such a horrible thing to her. I can't hurt Zed, she is the best thing that happened to me. Leo looked down totally shattered with this revelation. But...He posed, why did she ask you about me, if I hurt her lot? She should forget all about me, then why did she grip on me?

-This why I don't understand, she said I have to find myself and to find my strength in you.

Leo smiled throught his sadness, and Asad looked at him quizzically

-Why are you smiling?

-this is really ironic, Zed was only leaving in hate and pain but Zoya seemed to be the opposite. She grew up to be positive and life didn't break her like it breaks you. It's really weird that she used a language that you used to talk when you were in my shoes but today, it was alien for you. All of her words sounds like a torture for you. I understand what she was asking from you, but I guess your bitterness will close you ears to her words.

-I know what she was asking for and I know her better than anything. I spent those last years thinking about her, every single day. I prepared myself to deserve to be with her. I didn't forget anything about her, nothing at all.

-This is where you are wrong, you forget how to talk to her. It's a fact to think about someone all the time but it's another think to know how to talk to reach her heart. The new I or you forget everything about her heart and I am the only one who are able to talk her language. If you really love her as you say, you should not close your mind to her demands.

-She had no idea about what she was asking, she thinks that I will trust humanity again, that I will smile when person will insult me, that I will ignore the blows. I will not come back to what I was, I am rejecting from the core. I need to convince her and I know how to do, even if I have to force or to manipulate her. I don't want to waste time anymore and I don't want to live a single day without her.

-but are you with her today? He asked and Asad clenched his jaw frustrated, your silence says everything. You love her but in the wrong way and without your heart, you wanted her because she was a lost love and you think that if she was with you, you will be able to feel less guilty. You are just lying to yourself, once you will have her in your arms, you will possess her and protect her from the rest of the world. You will cage her in your love and she will suffocate. Her smile, her love or her touch will never erase your hate for the humanity. She was asking you to live peacefully. You don't need to be only me or only you, you only need to be someone who can take life as it was in real, with her bad and good side. There is nothing wrong in believing in humanity, but you just have to be aware of the weakness of things. She asks you to have more shade in the vision for life instead of watching it in black and white.

-I know life and her rudeness

-what about her beauty? Do you know or you prefer to ignore it? I understand now why she wants you to be me. Let me ask you something, you are only living your life around her but do you really know her truly or her heart? Do you listen to him or you are just ignoring his call? Do you remember how to make her laugh? Do you remember how to wipe her tears and her sadness? Do you remember what scared her and how to soothe her? Do you just remember how to listen to her? Love is not only about being with someone but it's too handle all the emotion that the heart can face, you rejected humanity, but if she believe in humanity you will hate her too? If she was not strong enough, will you rejecte her too? She is also human with flaws, you think that your LOVE will be large enough to accept her mistakes, her weakness and her flaws? Of course not, how can she trust someone so insecure like you? Your love is weak for her and you are just loving her with you eyes but your heart seemed far from what the love that she was asking for.

-You know nothing about love, Leo

-You re right but I know Zed more than anything, more than you. She didn't ask you to bring me back, she just asked you to open your heart and to turn away from the hate that you are carrying because she lived with this hate for so long, and she was the best to tell you about. But you just ignore her demands, she asked you to find yourself, to remove this pain from your heart because she dealed with it for so many years and today she was just helping you but you didn't understand, she loves you more than you will never understand. She loves you and she wants to be happy but you are not reading between her lines. You thought she was pushing you while she was calling you to come back to her, but you didn't understand her calls. She wants you to be in peace with yourself because she knows what it feels to live in hate.

-You are wrong you hear me, I don't want this weakness in my life again, YOU ARE WRONG

-Do you remember her eyes? Did her eyes smile to you or did they cry? I want you to look into her eyes and try to read them, if you remember her well as you pretend, I want you to compare Zed and Zoya's eyes, what they are telling you, Asad? And your eyes what they are telling to her? Did they show only pain to her? Did they reflect only bitterness? Did they make her remember again and again the day you hurt her?

-you know nothing, Leo, I only have love for her.

-then look into my eyes, what they are saying to you, what they show that you didn't show to Zoya? Why she choose me instead of you? Just the weak one and not the strong one? Tell me. Do you just ask yourself once why she pushed you and not ME? WHY ME AND NOT YOU? WHY ME AND NOT YOU?

-SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP, he closed his ears with his hands and closed his eyes to get away from this place. He kept his eyes closed and let his hands falling along his body, he then felt a small and soft hand holding his, his eyes opened brusquely. It was Zoya looking with love and peace, her face was glowing with a usual light and happiness, that he didn't see before, his eyes brimmed with tears seeing her, he missed her and her warmth touch. He traced the lines of her face and she closed her eyes to feel him and she chuckled when he posed on her dimple, spreading it only for him.

She put her palm on his face and slidded along his face, he closed his eyes, her touch made him feel alive and she caressed his cheek with the back of her hand. Her tenderness and softness freed a tears from his eyes.

-Asad, she said with her melodious voice

-It was so hard without you, Zoya, he couldn't retain his tears this time, and she smiled adoringly to him and cupped his face. She brushed soflty his lips, he smiled sadly, all felt so real, especially her lips on his, and he wished to never leave them. He held her closer to him and deepened the kiss, which she responded with fervor. As the kiss continued, his tears keep pouring all his pain. They stepped back, their forehead in contact.

-I love you so much, Zoya, I love you so so so much

-I know, she simply said.

-why are you running away from me, Zoya?

-I am just here by your side, Asad and I will never leave you

-promise you will never leave me?

-I will never because I trust you, his eyes opened widely, but do you trust me, Asad? He couldn't respond, did he trust hersincerely? Was he able to give his trust to someone? Did he know how to trust anyone now, even her? Human scared him and he never let his heart to anyone else than her, but did he still believe in her heart? He looked at her and his heart skipped a beat when he saw fears in her eyes.

-Asad, she called in panic, where are you going? Why are you going away from me? He saw her moving away from him but he couldn't stop her or move, she was leaving his side like a mirage.

-ZOYA, DON'T GO, ZOYA, DON'T LEAVE ME, ZOYYAAA

-ASAAADD,

-ZOYAAA, his voice teared up his troath

And he was so suddenly where he was beaten, this cold place where he was left almost dead and he heard his laugh, this evil laugh, this voice that mocked him for years and the only real reason of his misery. Leo was nothing in compare to what he did to him, it was him who gave rise to Asad, to the bitter man that he was now.

-Always crying, you will never change, Akram's voice mocked him again. Do you really think that she will stay with you? I mean did you see yourself? A girl like her stayed with a guy like you? He laughed loudly but it only sounded like a thunder for Asad. He was suffocated with Akram's presence around him, he felt himself weak and scared to face his demon again. Why he felt so vulnerable again? Why?

-I have only pity for you, you are nothing but just a looser, Leo

-I am not LEO

-of course you are and you will always be him, it's a part of you and no matter what you are doing to avoid, you will never be able to remove him. No matter all your plastic face, your muscles, your career or your hate, Leo is anchored in you, in your bones and in your heart. Asad was breathless and his chest constricted with every words that came from Akram's mouth

-Asad, come back to me, Zoya called him and he looked at her and felt some confort

-be in peace with yourself, Asad, I am not the one to blame, Leo came this time to talk to him

-He is the one that screw up everything, you remembered? You will never be in peace until he was still inside of you. Akram was whispering in his ears.

- I want you both because I love the both part in you, Asad. Please, bring back Leo, bring him back, don't let him all alone, like life did with him, and don't let him go. Bring him back, Asad, Zoya cried to him

-No, no, Asad shook his head frantically, closing his eyes, she can't ask him this, she can't ask him to be Leo again

-leave him alone, you can kill him and be free from him, Asad. She loves you, you only need to remind her and to force her a bit. She is stubborn, you know her, better than anyone. Akram suggested with playfull tone.

-You forget how to talk to her heart, Asad, look into her eyes, don't forget to read her eyes Leo retorted to him.

- I am the source of your pain, Asad. When you will look at me, you will only see those lonely years without me and you will hate Leo more and more, but I don't want to see this in your eyes. It was never you and you should find back this light. Her voice came as a prayer.

Asad looked at her and saw her crying buckets, calling him to come back to her. She looked so lonely with a trembling lips, and he wanted to badly to tell her that he will do anything for her smile, anything to see her face glowing again with happiness. She was the only reason that he was standing today. He will try even if it was scared to go back to what he was, but this was what she asked and he can't resist.

-Zoya, he extanded his hand to her and she did the same

-ASAD, YOU WILL LOOSE EVERYTHING AGAIN AND YOU WILL BE ALL ALONE, Akram yelled at him and Asad froze in fears. Was he going to lose her? Was it his destiny to be all alone? Without her? He was lost and didn't know what to do? He fold his fingers.

-Asad you have to find yourself, all alone, Zoya turned away from him

-ZOYAA, DON'T GO, I'll do anything you want but please don't leave me, I'll be Leo but please don't leave me, he shouted at her in pain.

He felt strong hands holding his face and he saw himself with Akram's voice.

-DON'T DO THIS, ASAD

And he opened his eyes breathing heavenly...

-oh God, you are finally awake, you are awake, Leo, thank you , thank you so much Allah to bring him back to me, thank you, she couldn't believe her eyes, he opened his eyes after so long, she was almost losing hope to see him again after all those weeks of sleep.

-Zed, he called with difficulty

-Yes, Leo, tell me, do you need something? She sniffed and wiped her tears with her sleeves

-can you please stop crying?

-I am so happy to see you, Leo, she sobbed

-I can't stand it anymore, you spent most of your time crying and I even heard you crying during my sleep,

-if you heard me then, why you didn't open your eyes?

-I was enjoying my travel with so many girls and they were all crazy about me, he tried to move his eyebrows but it looked more to a grimace.

-again you prefer your harem than me, you are just an idiot, she was about to smack him when she stopped in the midway. He chuckled at her but he winced loudly.

-aahhh

-what's wrong, Leo? She said in panic

-it hurts, it hurts a lot, I feel that all my body was fragmented, he hissed

-you were badly injured, Leo, she touched his face slightly

-for how long did I sleep here?

-6 weeks

-6 weeks? He coughed but the brief movement of his coughing ached all his body and he tensed all his muscles, he tried to resist to the wave of pain that his body sent to him, he was awake and his body too. His face hardened and he started to sweat, groaning in pain.

-Leo, calm down, try to breath, she didn't know how to help him, she understand that he was in pain, even if his injuries healed, the lack of movement and the broken bones still vivid. She held his hand in comfort and he tightened on it with all his force. Slowly, the pain decreased and he started to breath slowly. Are you ok? He just blinked; he didn't want to do any other moves now.

His eyes stared at the ceiling; he recalled the last event before he fell down. He was agitated all of sudden and his eyes brimmed with tears, did Akram hurt her? Did he let her down? He looked into her eyes to find his answers, but she was looking at him with hope and love that he felt relieved, but he had to know what happened, no matter how painful, it can be for her and him.

-Akram? This was the only word that he was able to say, sensing his question behind this name, she wrapped his hand on her chest and replied calmly.

-You saved me, Leo; he didn't do anything to me. You stood in front of him and you saved me. His eyes pleaded her to say truth and she nodded repeatedly, squeezing his hand in her. He closed his eyes thanking God for saving her from rude damage, and his tears found their way out. Zed seeing him crying started to cry with him. She never saw his tears and she felt emotional all of sudden. All the emotions that both contained for so long, started to erupt and they let their eyes talking in unison. I am so sorry, Leo, I am so sorry, she was finally able to tell him how much she felt guilty and how much she regretted her act.

-for what? He rubbed her hand with his thumb

-I am so sorry, it's all because of me, I should have listen to you, I am so sorry

-it's not your fault, you are not responsible for his act, he is mean and bad person. You just tried to protect me and I will never blame you on anything.

-but Leo, we are not going to spare him, I was waiting for you to wake up and we are going to file complain, and he will pay for what he did to you.

-No

-what no?

-I don't want to file a complaint against him

-But Leo, he beat you till death and he left without calling for help, you can't let him go without paying, he needs punishment

-I know he needs but I will not do anything to him

-but Leo...

-Listen, if I say everything to the police, he will have a criminal record that might harm him in the future and I don't want to spoil his life.

-Leo, you can't do this, you can't ignore what he did to you and he deserves to feel the pain that we both went through

-he will pay one day but I don't want to be this person, so I let him with his crimes

-are you scared of him? Because if it's the case, he will not harm you again if you file this complain, you will be protect. What if he try to hurt you again? What if he was preparing something against us?

-I am not scared and I know that you are not scared too, we are two and he will have to face us together; I just don't feel it right. We are young and stupid. One day he will understand what he did was wrong and I believe that one day, he will be a nice person or else he will fall in one guy who is going to make him taste his own medicine and he will regret it.

-I wish this person to be you, Leo

-I don't think so

-of course, what am I asking for? She rolled her eyes; she knew that Leo was not a kind of men, who will take revenge with hands.

-how do I look? He asked slidding his hand in his hair

-horrible

-I can say the same to you, he teased her

-I didn't sleep much, Leo

-but I slept a lot, I guess we have to change our habits from now, you will sleep more and I will sleep less.

-I think it's a good idea

-thank God, I am still the same, always perfect.

-wait until you recover, I kept for you many punches

-rude, you never change as I see, why don't you have a mercy with a poor guy like me? He gave her his puppy face.

-Now, that I know you heard me crying for so long and you didn't dare waking up, to be with "your" girls. You don't expect for me to have a mercy.

-what if I told you that you was there too?

-What I was doing? She asked when he was about to answer, she stopped him, I don't want to know, please, spare me shameless description. He smiled widely and her eyes grew up widely, don't tell me?

-I will not tell you anything, he laughed this time, teasing her openly.

-idiot, I can't believe you make a dirty dream about me, she crossed her arms on her chest

-who say this? He said innocently

-You

-I didn't say anything you just interpret my smile but the truth was not this

-may I know what took you so long, Mister Khan?

-Mister Khan? I love it, keep calling me like this or your mjesty

-I though you will be more modest but no, she said annoyed but inwardly, she was happy to see that he was still the same after what happened to him.

-you would have miss me, Miss Ziddi

-now tell me, what did you see in your long travel?

-actually, he sighed, I can't say anything, I will wait for you to reach your 18 to tell you, or else you will kill me if I gave you all the details.

-you are just impossible, Leo, even in your dreams?

His lips curved softly and he looked sadly at her, he can't tell her what he saw, it was scary even for him, he felt so lonely in his sleep. He can't tell her how his travel was painfull for him, but only her face and voice were the only light that kept him sane. He didn't know if what he saw, was real, but he saw a glimpse of his future and she was not there with him and this vision scared him. He couldn't share with her this, it was just a projection of ill mind and nothing serious, he tried to reassure himself. He can't lose her, he can't and he will not let this vision breaking his faith in his future. He tried to compose himself, he can't let her see his fears.

-but you have to know that you screw up all my date, by showing them our picture, and I couldn't stop you.

-and how many date did I spoil?

-All-of-them, he said raising his eyebrows and she laughed freely now, it has been so long that she didn't laugh like this and she felt light after so long, and it was again because of him, as always. He was her reason to smile and he always knew how to reach her heart through her pain and tears. He always knew and he will always know.

-see, I will never leave your side, not even in your dreams, Leo

-Never? He asked expecting, his dream of losing her was still strong in his mind but she didn't feel the pain behind his demands.

-Never ever, as long as I live, she smiled genuinely at him

He let out a long and deep breath, he opened his eyes and he was again all alone. Bip bip bip, He scrubbed his face to remove this nightmare, but the fight still rang in his mind. Leo, Zoya and Akram were inside of him, shouting and tearing him from every side. He was confused and didn't understand the hidden meaning of them, what Leo meant that he forgot how to talk to her and why Akram wanted to help him to remain Asad, was it Akram or his fears behind this voice? He couldn't help but to feel nostalgic to see his past and how he was before she left his side. He was carefree and versatile but today, he was straight and inflexible. Who was saying the truth? Where he should go? Which road will help him to have her? But was he really ready to accept and to do it? Many questions crossed his mind burning him with unknow answers.

-Enough with all of this, I know what to do and how to do, I didn't change to be submitted to useless fears, I want her and I will make her realize how wrong she can be.

He pushed the button to call the nurses, he wanted to see her now and they will talk, she had no way to escape this time.

-mister Khan, you are awake

-please, call Dr Farooqui, he ordered

-but she was not in charge of you, I should call Dr...

-no, I want Dr farooqui, please call her

-but mister...

-I said CALL HER NOW, he glared at her and she sucked her breath with his sudden cold rage , she nodded and left his side in hurry.

He laid down heavenly and tried to catch his breath.

-please Zoya, come to me.

After 10 long minutes of waiting for her, he called again the nurse and this time, she entered hesitantly.

-did you call her?

-Yee yess

-then where she is? And why you didn't tell me about?

-I told her but she is a bit busy right now, he came closer to her looking angrily at her, she...she said that you...you have your own...doctor now and...and...she was...noo noot iiinn cha..cha charge of you, his face was really close to her now. He looked disgust and felt rejected by her, he felt his inside clenched with pain and anger, she wanted to avoid him but little she knew him now.

-tell her that if she is not here in 5 minutes, I will put this hospital upside down to find her and no one will stop me, he emphazed each of his words, sending shiver through her spine. She gasped and ran for her life. He hit the wall in frustration.

-Why are you doing this, Zoya? Why don't you want to talk to me?

He waited rubbing his hand, in sitting position, glancing at the clock. It was the longest minute ever for him when suddenly, he heard someone knocking, his heart stopped to beat. It was her, he couldn't hold his smile when he saw her but it fade as quick as it came when he stared into her eyes. She showed him anger.

Look into her eyes, what they are telling you?

He recalled Leo's words but he prefered to ignore it, he knew that he forced her but they had to talk and to clarify everything between them.

-Mister Khan

-Zoya

-why are you scaring the personal? Don't you know it's where I work, why are you doing all this drama?

-and you why are you ignoring me?

-What do you want, now?

-You

-not again, please, we discuss about it a lot and I made myself clear last time.

-actually, you just talked and I listen but you didn't convince me at all and I still can't figure it out why are you asking me to be Leo again?

-Wasn't it obvious?

-No, not for me

-Mister Khan, what we shared was from the past and you and I changed a lot. We can't catch the lost time by being together, we were friend but not now.

-because of the kiss?

-yes, I can't be friend with you now

-then don't be, I don't want you just as a friend, I want more

-but I don't want

-because you want to be with Leo? You want to find this happy and free boy that I was, right?

-I want you to be you and not the sad version of him.

-what if I am happy as I am, now, what if I want to stay like this?

-do what you want and don't involve me, again

-is it a threat?

-I am not threating you, Asad, I just want to see happiness in your eyes that I can't see right now

-Life is not only happiness, we are not in fairy tale, Zoya. Life is rude and hard

-not only, life can be magic also, Asad, why don't you want to see?

-Once you will be in my life, you will see my eyes shining with happiness, but just be with me and you will see it, give a try, Zoya.

-No Asad, I can't, it's funny that I used your old words against you but you seemed hermetic. She turned her heels but he stopped her.

-and if I found this missing Leo as you asked, you will come back to me?

-I..., she hesitated

-you are not sure either, then what was the need to be him? My happiness laid in you and in your love, don't do this to me, to us. Stay with me, Zoya, he was closer to her now. Her resolutions were leaving her slowly and his eyes pleaded her to love him, as much as she wanted to hold him in her arms as much as she wanted to push him away. She was fighting internally but until this doubt will be inside of her, she will not take a step toward him, she had no guarantee and she was not sure about him. His eyes loved her and she had no doubt but she can't ignore the pain that they were telling her, she felt like seeing Leo inside of them, calling her. She was maybe thinking too much and he was maybe right, she must give a try, but she needed to know something about first to be sure.

-Do you hate your past, Asad?

-I hate it because you were not here with me.

-why don't you want to be him?

-because he will hurt you, Zoya.

-Leo will never hurt me, he was in pain and he was just a victim like I was in this lies, he didn't nothing to me, he was manipulated.

-Leo knows about it but he decided to ignore it, I knew about everything but I ignore it. Yes, Leo will always be a part of me, no matter how far I can be, Leo is me and I am Leo. But I will never let this part going out or coming between us, I will not let my mistake taking you away from me.

-what do you mean by you know it?

-actually, he sighed, when I was in coma, years ago, you asked me what I saw and I told you a stupid thing but the truth was totally different. I saw myself caged in glass house, i was able to see outside, I waved at them but it was like they can't see me. I saw you also and you were crying and your eyes only showed tears and sadness, you didn't stop once to cry. I tried to call you but I couldn't find my voice. I try to talk to you, to ask you what's wrong. But you didn't see me. I didn't know for how long, I was in this place. Sometimes, I was able to hear your voice in this cage but it always sounded emotional and teary, I heard your prayers, I heard you saying weird stuffs but I couldn't do anything, I couldn't find my way to you. Then I was free and I was again in the place where we met, I saw myself yelling at you and I saw you running away from me, telling you to leave me. Then I saw a man coming to me, telling me that I am him, at this time, I didn't know who it was, but it was me now. He told me that I will make you cry and I will break your heart, that I was weak and I don't deserve to have you in my life and I just betrayed our friendship, he said harsh words to me and said that I will be the reason for your lose. I prefered to ignore it, I though it was just my fears. Then I make you promise once I was awake to never leave my side and you promise you will never ever leave me but when everything happened between us, I knew it wasn't just a dream, it was my truth. You left me all alone. Leo was wrong, he saw everything.

-but he wasn't at fault

-HOW CAN YOU STILL PROTECT HIM? HOW?

-we were young and stupid, both of us were manipulated. Even if you had a vision, you couldn't stop the future to occur. It was written for us to be apart from each other. You should not blame yourself for being youth.

-I am not blaming myself, I am just correcting his mistakes now.

-stop blaming yourself

-If I was strong and if I saw clearly, I shouldn't have been duped so easily by Akram, he did the good thing actually, he makes me the person that I am now and he was good by beating him to the DEATH this day, Leo didn't deserve to live.

-ASSAADDD, don't you ever say this again, about Leo? Did you just see yourself how you were badly hurt? Do you just realize what are you saying? Did you just know how it was to watch you laying in the bed for 6 weeks? Did you know how it was hard for me to hear your breath in pain every night? Do you just know how I cried praying the lord to save you? Did you just feel my misery and my guilt? Did you just feel the anxiety to see every day coming without seeing you awake? Expecting to be the last night for you? DID YOU JUST THINK ABOUT ME? TELL ME, DO YOU REALIZE THAT I WAS DYING NEXT TO YOU EVERY FU**** NIGHTS? Of course, NOT, you don't know, this is what I hate about you, you are selfish, coward and angry. You prefer to live a war than being in peace with yourself, you are too stubborn to see that you are wrong, you are too coward to face who you are but you prefer to hide behind a mask of pride. Leo had flaws but he always stand for what it was right and YOU are going away from what was right to you. If now, you know what is right for you then I know what it is right for me and you are not right for me. I won't force you to change and I am not asking you to change for me, but for YOU, I am just asking you to be in peace. I will not do what you are ordering me, I will do what I want and what I want now, it's to be away from a man like you, who don't value relationship and feelings, who are bitter and who can't move on. It's not because you are ignoring your past that it means you moved on, you are still sticked there and you didn't move from your glass house. You know what, actually, you are not different from Akram right now, you are trying to kill the Leo inside of you, you are trying to beat him till death, masking his pleading voice inside of you. I know that you can still feel him inside of you and you are missing to be him, but you are too scared to believe that what you built during all those years was wrong, all your convictions were construct on the bad foundation. He chuckled ironically looking in defiance at her. I know what you think, you said to yourself that I am saying rubbish thing and I have no idea about what I was talking but I can see this arrogance and ego in your eyes. It's not only about me, but you want to prove to yourself and to Leo, that you can have me and you can push me to hate him as you hate him, but I won't give you this opportunity to laugh at him, because I love this part inside of you, what you hate the most of you it's what I love the most. No matter what happened in the past between me and Leo, I will never rejected him, YOU HEAR ME. You can shut his voice inside of you but I will stand by him like he did for me against Akram and I will stand by his side against you today.

-again he was responsible of this rift between you and me.

-No Asad you are the one who is standing between Leo and me, your arrogance is the rift now. I don't want to see you again and I wish to never see you again. She said sharply to him but her eyes showed only pain.

He was deaf to her call, blind to her pain and insensitive to her love. She was suffering to see him diving in revenge from his past, throwing himself in dark anger that it was consuming him to the bones. She didn't know what to do more to bring him back, he was dangerously going away from her. Losing her supposed to create a shock inside of him but it seemed that it has the opposite effect, his arrogance was greater now and his disgust to his past too. Both shared in intense look, trying to make the other to surrender but none of them was ready for making concession. Zoya was the first to break this eye look, she turned her heels and pursed her lips to suppress her sobs. She was loosing him, maybe forever this time. She left his side with a heavy heart wishing that he will stop her, but he didn't say anything.

He stared into her eyes and saw a myriad of emotion, pain, anger, pride, love, hope and sadness. Her eyes sent to him a strong punch on his face, he wanted to erase all the bad one but a firm voice inside of him stopped him to surrender, telling him that she was wrong to treat him as he was nothing and he shouldn't melt to her. He wanted to run to her but a force kept pulling him away from her, chaining his love for her. He was not anymore Leo to be manipulated by anyone, not even by her. He then saw her moving away, realizing that she was firm in her decision and that he couldn't convince her, she made her choice to move on and to be far from him. He felt angry and hurt to be rejected by her, he was loosing his battle against Leo, but how can he lose in front of him? How can he lose infront of a shadow from his past? He closed his hands in fist looking down, his heart aching and ego more. She finally closed the door and his eyes were red with rage now.

-if it's this what you want, then I will leave you side forever and I will make you run to me, run to Asad begging me to come back into your life. He said with defiance, she can't insult him more, he asked her, begged her and pleaded her to come to him, but arrogantly, she chose to ignore him. He has his pride and whatever the depth feeling that he had in his heart, she can't play with him. No one can play with him anymore.

She went to the roof, crying silently and recalling his words. His eyes and face flashed and clenched her heart with pain. She didn't know if she was doing the right thing, she didn't know if between them, it became a battle of ego. Love supposed to ease heart but it looks like it transformed their heart into stone. She held her head between her hands, looking at the sky, searching for answers.

-What can I do more? I can't let him go but I have to push him away to realize, but ...She fell on her back, her head between her knees, she stayed here, lost like never before.

She tried to divert her mind and to occupy herself as much as she can, but he didn't leave her a single moment. She tired herself, worked a lot, did some surgery, but still, once, she stopped all her doubts erupted inside of her like a volcano. It was already the night, when she went to visit the nurses, to take her night duty. She saw them gossiping and they stopped when she came, she controlled herself from rolling her eyes at them. She knew that they were talking about her and her patient.

-anything new

-no doctor, Zoya nodded and opened one file, Dr Farooqui? She hummed, did you know that he left?

-Who left?

-Your patient, she said mischeviously

-my patient? Which one? I did sign any departure today, she said surprised

-actually, it's not your patient technically

-what do you mean? She was loosing her patience now

-I mean he was yours before but not now

-listen either you talk or I leave

-No, wait, Oh God you are really short temper like him, she growled but Zoya glared at her angrily

-I mean Mister Khan left this morning...Zoya's face displayed shock, after you left his room.

-but how? He was supposed to leave in 5 days, did the doctor Marc validated this?

-actually no, he just sign a discharge and left

-This man, she said between her teeth, give me his file, NOW, she read it to search for his address. Once she got what she wanted, she took her jacket and drove to his house. She huffed, hiting her wheel in rage, she couldn't understand why was he playing with his life like a piece of napkin? Why can't he act a responsible man? For sure, he will listen to her and she will put sense in his sick mind.

She searched for the building and found herself in front, she took a deep breath and went into the elevator. A inner was shaking to meet him but her anger kept her hermetic to her inner voice. She rang and waited for him. He opened the door and froze suddenly, he didn't expect from her to come to quickly but her face gave him a bad vibration of her coming, he knew that she was not going to tell him a good new. He wore his emotionless mask and she asked him coldly.

-may I know what you are doing here?

-it's my house, he replied nonchalantly

-I know it's your house, but why did you quit the hospital?

-I hate hospital, that's it,

-don't act smart with me Asad, you understand what I mean

-actually no, I don't understand anymore what you want, actually you are talking a foreigner language for me.

-Asad, I am not joking

-I didn't say this, I am just saying that you are contradicting yourself. You wished to never see me again then what are you doing here?

-I came as a doctor, I care about my patient

-so you used to do this with all your patient, they are really lucky to have you, he was making fun of her and his tone hurt her deeply.

-I won't stay here anymore hearing your insult toward me. I just came to tell you that YOU are too stupid to quit the hospital, you are badly injuried and you need to be under observation for at least 3 days more. But if you prefer to end your life, keep doing what you are doing, because one day, you will succeed in it.

-why do you care? I am just the pale version of your beloved Leo,

-exactly, why do I care?

-yes, I am... What did you say? Selfish, coward and arrogant, he let out a sarcastic chuckle, don't trouble yourself Dr Farooqui, I lived for so long alone and I will die alone anyway. It's nice of you to come to see me, but you shouldn't care about me. I am not worth of your pity.

His words stabbed her heart deeply and what hurt her the most was the anger in his eyes, they were not anymore kind or gentle to her. It only showed rage to her. She couldn't look at them, they were burning her skin and her soul. She ran away from him, crying now. She didn't expect to see so much hate in them, she maybe deserved it afterall, she pushed him but he didn't understand and judged her rudely. She clicked on the elevator, she wanted to be far, really far from here, she was breathless next to him. She shouldn't have come, he was right.

The door opened and she went inside, thinking that she was alone, she let out a loud sob, crying and shaking with sadness. He hurt her in purpose but he was also hurt by her, and he needed to make her taste her own medicine, but he didn't expect to see her tears. She didn't stop and he ran behind her, for a change, he didn't listen to this voice who asked him to ignore her, she needed him. He approached her without knowing what to tell her. He was like petrified, he wanted to hold her but what if she pushed him? She went inside and she cried loudly this time and he knew it was the responsible for her tears, this time, it was not Leo but Asad who made her cry in pain. The door was about to close when he blocked it and stopped the elevator to go down.

-Why are you crying now, Zoya? He asked soflty

-I ..I am not...crying, she tried to catch her breath but her sobs were strong now.

-you mean your eyes are sweating? He tried to crack a joke but it didn't work

-I have to go, she tried to press the button but he blocked her path.

-Why do you care? He came closer this time but she avoided his eyes.

-I don't care...You can do what you want with your life...Do what you want...Asad, I don't care, and her tears flew more at this sentence. If you ...you want to...live or not...It's up to you, because...I...I don't care anymore.

-I am sorry to make you cry, Zoya, I don't deserve your tears, his eyes cried with her now

-I..I don't care, I don't...He crushed his lips on her and she moaned suddenly when she realized what he was doing. He moved slowly and tenderly, showing through his action how much he was sorry for his harsh words and how much he needed her in his life. He slidded gently his hands around her waist, crushing her soft body against his hard one and he kissed deeply and intensely. Her tears stopped with his soft action, first her hands were frozen but with every thrust, her sadness and resolutions to leave flew away. Earlier his mouth spat dirty words to her but now the same lips played magic with her, diving her in depth of love. He ignited her desire and she realized that she missed him a lot. Her hands closed hesitantly around him, the kiss deepened, and her grip tightened around him, bringing him closer and closer, inviting him to continue his sweet torture. She missed him, only now, she realized how much she was hard with herself and with him. She wanted just during this kiss to surrender to her love, to her needs, she loved him so much and his touch was saying the same to her. She didn't know if she was kissing Leo or Asad, all she knows was that she was kissing the man that she loves the most. She didn't want to fight or to push him now, she wanted him to kiss her until she could breath afterall a kiss will harm no one. She let all her fears behind and decided to dive on without shame, without barriers and without hesitation and for a change, she wanted to give him what he wanted the most, her...

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I want to promote a beautiful story, at the beginning it was an OS, but the writer will turn it longer : Come on get higher by Asgard_Nim. Give a try guys