Complex situation - possible solutions

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aparnauma

@GoodDoc_2105

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

#21

Originally posted by: RTee
I am not sure why Pooja should feel guilty. She entered into the whole thing with her eyes open as did Mannu.

Why should Pooja feel indebted to Anandi for saving her. She did not ask to be saved. Her mother did. And her mother is fairly indebted to Anandi.

Anandi went to do something right for somebody but lost personally.

When Anandi saved Pooja, Anandi followed her conscience and her heart. This does not mean that Anandi owns Pooja's life, thoughts and actions for life. Nor does she hold Pooja responsible for Nandini's abduction. Else she should really hate Pooja.

When Pooja ran away with Mannu and married him, she too followed her conscience and her heart.

Pooja did something for herself without thinking of anybody. As did Mannu. Others will suffer naturally but these two will not go scot free. There will be repercussions.

Nimboli eating jalebi in spite of knowing she should not and Pooja running away and marrying Mannu in spite of knowing she should not are both immature and childish acts in the heat of the moment.

Nimboli got punished by Harki. Pooja too will be punished by life. Both will live and learn. One will pay a higher price for her transgressions.

True both Pooja and Mannu don't feel guilty about marriage because they don't believe that they had done anything wrong. They convinced themselves that they are doing something right.

Going by their understanding of child marriage - Child marriage is something that happens because parents of the children want it irrespective of the child's wish.

Here they got married as per their wish.They entered into a marriage willingly.They pay price for their stupidity later on in life.

They feel guilty about running away from home and Mannu feels guilty for the way he behaved with his parents but they don't feel guilty about the marriage.

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True why should Pooja feel indebted to Anandi for saving her?She didn't even know anything about it. Her mother feels indebted to Anandi though she has not done much to repay for the help she got from Anandi.

Anandi doesn't have rights over Pooja's life nor does Pooja owe anything to Anandi to feel guilty.

That is between Pooja's mother and Anandi.

Pooja does feel bad for running away from home and giving trouble for her mother. She is answerable only to her mother and her mother in turn is answerable to Anandi for not teaching her daughter how to be strong in the face of temptation who has put in the reputation of SN In danger.Anandi's job as a teacher was over when she taught them importance of self reliance and ills of child marriage importance of education. Pooja knew all this all thanks to Anandi.

But her mother failed in her duty.

Anandi lost her daughter while she was trying to do what she believed was right and is answerable only to her daughter and no one else and also it doesn't give her rights to decide about Sarita and Pooja's lives.They have to make their own decisions and face consequences.Anandi is not obliged to protect them in any way she can only help them if they request it or if they come to her for advice.

If she is responsible for them it is only because Sarita is an employee in SN adn works under Anandi and Pooja is her student and not because she saved Pooja from child marriage or because she brought her home now.

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731627

Suspended

Posted: 10 years ago

#22

pooja mannu marriage should be dissolve because it is illegal and it is not correct age for pooja mannu to get married .pooja and mannu will not nothing loose if their marriage will be dissolve .at this under teenge age getting education thinking about career should be only priority for mannu pooja , this is not age for mannu pooja desire to live with their life partner .anandi jagya ds ganga should not support this mannu pooja marriage otherwise question will raise on bh people by societythat bh people against child marriage but bh people themseves supporting child marriage in their own house?society will call bh people double standard if bh people will not dissolve mannu pooja marriage and continue taking action of child marriage of other children

Edited by surabhi01 - 10 years ago

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Vidya

@Shinya

Rocker

Posted: 10 years ago

#23

Irrespective of anandi saved her from her previous marriage or not, Pooja should feel guilty... She should be guilty for bunking school for so many days, running away from home without telling her mother, for cheating her beloved teacher who loved her like a daughter and for breaking law by having an underage marriage.

If we say mannu convinced her that what they were doing was not wrong then her story will end like gauri's who blindly trusted jagya.

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dolly

@tiny15

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

#24

its not that pooja shud feel guilty bcoz of Aji loosing N 4 her.its bcoz that she did wrong by running away from her home & mom.she shud feel guilty & ashamed thinking abt her mom's situtn. and she also compromised her studies 4 which her mom wanted her BV 2 b stopped.

and if Aji doesn't own P so she shud not feel guilty just bcoz Aji saved her then how Aji owned mannu & was supported & given lectures abt ganga being ungrateful wen she opposed Aji abt giving promise w.r.t mannu??😲

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dolly

@tiny15

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

#25

and i agree wid members who want M & P mrg dissolved bcoz its like supporting BV only whether its done wid consent of children. and BH ppl & Aji all r opposing it. its like double stds.

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Maharaani

@Maharaani

Navigator

Posted: 10 years ago

#26

The second option , as it is right from every perspective.

After they attain legal age, let them decide if they wish to remarry, to each other and legalize their relationship forever.

Firstly as some people claim, it would be a wrong tradition only when they are minors, adult marriage is not wrong tradition, especially and more so, with consent. Wrong tradition will be Separating two adults, who are already intimate and love each other, which is illegal, immoral and against human rights.Both are good people, so there should be no problem.

Even if we see from practical point of view, they have already married and have been in intimate physical relationship, so knowing this, it could be hard for other marriage proposals to fructify, especially in rigid orthodox rural set up. ..it is not some metro city where no one minds who lived together with whom...and what if the girl is pregnant...she would suffer bad name life long...a good and apt solution would be for someone else like Anandi or Sarita or even Bimla to look after the kid or put it in orphanage till they are in a position to keep it as theirs...Mannu and Puja, later can may be adopt their own biological child...killing someone's first child if you can do something about it is never an option, it is very unjust and wrong.

So yes, second option...till then, they study and make their future , they can of course meet and talk to each other and keep loving one another...!! If they do not wish to marry after being adults, it is up to them...but no one should brainwash, force or inflict emotional blackmail and if they wish to remarry; well and good, they have every right to and it is an adult marriage out of consent.

Edited by Maharaani - 10 years ago

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RTee

@RTee

Sparkler

Posted: 10 years ago

#27

Anandi owns neither Pooja nor Mannu. But both Sarita and Ganga had asked for help in saving their respective kids. Which Anandi could and she did. So both Ganga and Sarita have to be grateful to Anandi. Sarita already is.

In fact in Ganga's case she should be thankful to Bimla as well for clearing the air about Ratan. Bimla need not have. Except, just like Ratan, she too had her eyes opened in time and understood what Ratan had done was right for her grandson.

Ganga had left no stone unturned to create distances between Mannu and BH by not making him aware of truth in time and just bombarding him with it at her own convenience.

Neither feels what they did is wrong. So no question of feeling guilty. First they have to be made aware that their definition of Bal Vivaah is totally skewed and even what they did is wrong.

Both Pooja and Mannu are in for a lecture on why what they did was wrong. They will eventually repent. But repentence will come only when they feel the consequences of their actions. Too late by then.

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aparnauma

@GoodDoc_2105

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

#28

Originally posted by: RTee

Neither feels what they did is wrong. So no question of feeling guilty. First they have to be made aware that their definition of Bal Vivaah is totally skewed and even what they did is wrong.

Both Pooja and Mannu are in for a lecture on why what they did was wrong. They will eventually repent. But repentence will come only when they feel the consequences of their actions. Too late by then.

True. Their understanding of child marriage is skewed and that is the reason they don't feel guilty about it.

They have to be made to understand what they have done is not allowable by the law of the land and it still comes and under child marriage even if it happened with their consent.

Then only will thye realise what they have done is wrong.

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SPuja

@SPuja

Rocker

Posted: 10 years ago

#29

Pooja failed big time even after living in an institution said to be run by someone who is working against child marriages. Perhaps all Pooja knows about child marriage is the girl and her mother are always against child marriage while the groom's family all guilty and are liable to be beaten up. Since nothing of that sort happens and she agreed to marry Mannu because otherwise they could not live together - so there is nothing to be ashamed of - they are not guilty. 😆