*Not proofread, PMs later*
Chapter 45 ...abhi na karo zamane ki baat
Tears streaked through Khushi's eyes continuously as the doctor bandaged Arnav's head injury.
"Khushi, bas. Stop crying. Nothing has happened to me." Arnav attempted one more time to console Khushi but she looked terribly anguished and her eyes were stuck on the back of his head where the paramedic was bandaging.
"Khushi..."
"You don't say anything. All this...all this happened because of me."
"Khushi, nothing happened. Right?" he turned to the paramedic with hope.
"Yeah, it's a minor gash. About your arm..."he pointed to the temporary sling "...my best guess - it is only a tear from your previous injury and the pain will be gone in a day or so with painkillers, but if it doesn't, you should get an X-ray."
"Are you sure it's not a fracture? He was badly injured only weeks ago" Khushi asked before Arnav responded, standing up.
"You sit down first madam." The paramedic literally leaped at her. "Those wounds of yours are not stitched up. For God's sake a bullet grazed through your arm. I only put glazing to stop the bleeding but it is temporary." The paramedic rolled his eye, annoyed by now with the stubborn couple. It had been an hour since the commotion had ended and the medical personnel had got access to help the wounded. He wondered which side of the bed he'd woken up that morning to not only see such a horrifying incident unfold - over eight people had died in total, including the criminals, and another dozen were injured mostly by fall injuries - but to be assigned to these two in particular. They'd constantly fought to have the other person attended to first ever since he got to them.
"I don't feel a thing, I am fine. Please check him properly first. And then we are going to get an X-ray right now, ok?" Khushi stubbornly deflected.
"Khushi..." Arnav was perplexed. He didn't know why Khushi was so angry. She was still crying but suddenly her mood had swung from being insanely worried and protective to not even meeting his eyes. He wondered if the events that had unfolded had begun to affect her, but her mind didn't seem on anything but Arnav.
"That's only because of the anesthetic. Sit down please." He tried again, but got nowhere and moved away in frustration.
Seeing the paramedic failing, Arnav himself tried to stand up and make Khushi stood back but the sudden movement caused pain to shoot through his head which didn't go unnoticed by Khushi.
"Arnav" she sprung up and laid him back. "Are you ok? Does it hurt too much? Who told you to stand? Why don't you ever listen?" she was angry, but suddenly her voice softened again as she grabbed his hand "I am sorry. I am so sorry for everything Arnav. If I hadn't come in your life...I have only given you pain..."Khushi whispered, kneeling next to Arnav. That's when he finally understood her behavior.
It wasn't anger, it was guilt.
"Khushi...I am okay. I promise." he softly said, cupping his cheek.
The paramedic, who had by then given up on the two of them, came back with a nurse "An ambulance will take you to the hospital. I suggest you both leave. There you can get stitches, and yes, also get an X-ray."
Khushi nodded and the paramedic as well as the nurse both helped them to the vehicle.
****
"Shh...Khushi...please stop crying. I cannot see tears in your eyes." Arnav whispered as he snuggled Khushi closer to himself in the ambulance, taking care not to hurt her shoulder. Watching her arm covered in blood as the bullet hit her had twisted his heart in knots, and even though it was only a graze and he had been repeatedly reassured since that it would heel, the blood stains on her dress still made his breath constrict.
"I am scared. I...I almost lost you." she whispered, shivering out of fear.
"But you didn't."
"It was all because of me. He came after you because of me."
"No Khushi"
"I am sorry. I gave you so much pain."
"No you didn't Khushi. You didn't do anything."
"Don't lie to me. You always lie to me." She suddenly sat up and faced him.
"Huh...When did I lie to you?"
"You told me you had an accident...when the truth...the truth..."she choked up, recalling Sultan's words, then started crying bitterly, covering her eyes with her uninjured hand.
Arnav pulled away her hand from her face.
"This is why I didn't tell you. I knew it would hurt you. But it's not your fault." he tried wiping her tears but more continued to fall.
"Khushi, don't cry. It's killing me to see you like this. Ok I am sorry. Please forgive me. Just don't cry anymore. It makes it harder for me to breathe."
"You love me that much?" She asked, and Arnav smiled at her innocent question.
"A lot more than that."
"Why? I don't even deserve your love, Arnav. You...you are too good for me. You deserve happiness. Ever since I've come into your life, I've only caused you pain. I am tainted, cursed, and my ill-luck has followed you. You lost so much trying to save me - your money, your business, your family, your health..."
"I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat." he interrupted her, stopping her. "Khushi, look at me. Before you came into my life, I didn't even know what life or love was. I was living a delusion, I had lost everything and was drowning in hell when I found you. I was a monster to you, but you still accepted me and healed me. Me, the man who raped..."
Khushi put her hand on his mouth, preventing him to speak further.
"Don't." she shook her head. "Don't ever say like that. You're not a monster, not even close. If you could see from my eyes, you'd know you're more important to me than God itself. I raised Payal, so I am protective of her as my child and like any mother I am willing to die for her. But for you, I can do anything - die or kill. I have no regrets over what happened today. When I saw that gun fired at you, it was like the world ended." she shuddered at the memory. Without thinking, she had leapt towards Arnav, pushing him. Thankfully, the bodyguards, who had circled back hiding themselves after making sure Payal was safe knocked Sultan causing his aim to miss. Instead of hitting Khushi head on as it would have since she jumped in front of Arnav, it only grazed her shoulder, effectively saving them both. "Even if they put me to jail for killing Sultan..."
"That won't happen. There is no case. Everyone saw what happened."
"Still. I would have done it irrespective. Any fate is better than the possibility of you being hurt - even if I have to go back to that hell you brought me from..."
"You love me that much?" Arnav asked, repeating her question. Khushi paused, then lowered her gaze and nodded.
"A lot more than that."
Overwhelmed, Arnav opened his mouth to say something but was stopped by the opening doors of the ambulance as they'd arrived at the hospital.
****
When Khushi opened her eyes, it was already dark outside. The surgeon had knocked her unconscious for a couple of hours in order to treat her bullet wound well. Although it was a minor surgery, a very small piece of the bullet seemed to have stuck inside her body and they wanted to make sure it was taken out and the shoulder stitched up properly without causing her pain.
She winced as she tried to sit up. HP kaka was sitting next to her.
"Bitiya...you woke up. How are you feeling?"
"Kaka. I am ok. How are you? How is Arnav?" She had made him promise he would get his X ray done the moment they took her for the procedure, but not seeing him around now worried her.
"He is okay. He just went to visit the doctor, he would be here soon. Payal bitiya is home, safe and asleep. I just came after making sure she was fed. Now, do you want some water?" Khushi nodded, grateful for HP kaka's fatherly care. It was his support that had kept her sanity during those early days at Arnav's place.
"I am fine kaka. Arnav's hand..."
"It's not a fracture" Arnav said, entering the room. "Just like I told you. This would be fine in two days. Sultan dada wasn't that strong also." He joked, but noticed Khushi frowning and gave up.
"Are you sure you are okay? Your head?"
"I am fine, Khushi. How are you feeling?" He sat next to her and held her hand.
"I am okay. I don't want to stay here though."
"Fine, I'll go get your papers discharged. You get changed. You can rest at home." Arnav answered. He couldn't wait to take Khushi home either. He wanted to hold her and just be with her until his heart finally believed she was his. He knew it the moment she had screamed and stopped him from leaving at the airport - even from the distance, he saw it in her eyes and in the desperation of her voice - that she really did love him the way his heart had hoped. For whatever reason, she had been scared and in denial when he'd asked - a reason he intended to ask her about - but since that moment, his heart knew his love wasn't unreturned. Since then, he had heard it in her words and seen it in her actions. Sultan had been leading them towards the car. A number of policemen surrounded them with guns aimed at him but he ordered their guns down and they complied. Although he was careful, a plain-clothes officer - from the anti-terror squad, as Arnav later learnt - managed to aim at Sultan's hand, causing the gun to drop just as they got near the car. They'd ducked, and Arnav pulled Khushi along, trying to escape in the momentary distraction that created. Sultan, however, was quick to recover and immediately pulled his second gun and shot at the policeman, startling both Arnav and Khushi who stilled for a second. His next shot was aimed at Arnav, but before he knew it, Khushi had jumped in front of him. Thankfully by then, his bodyguard had managed to reach close enough to Sultan to trip him over and the bullet misfired, grazing Khushi's shoulder.
Khushi had changed into fresh clothes HP kaka brought, who also helped get her arm in a sling. Arnav came back into the room and led them outside.
"Khushi come this way, we need to take the back entrance. There is a lot of media gathered outside the main door."
Khushi glanced at the reporters in the lobby asking a string of questions before Arnav led her away. Reality reminded her once again of the questions surrounding the wisdom of her decision. She had bared her heart to Arnav and confessed her love to him, but what was the impact of her presence - of her past - on his life?
She looked at Arnav as they both sat in the backseat of the car. His arm was protectively wrapped around her waist, and instinctively she leaned closer. She had come way to close to losing him and wasn't prepared to do that again. She knew she couldn't live without him, and even he wouldn't be happy if she went away. She closed her eyes and let his warmth sink in. She had spent a lot of time running away from love, but now that she had finally admitted it, she wanted to just live the moment and enjoy it, before reality could distort the picture in any manner.
Both of them were tired when they got home, so they decided to head straight to bed. HP kaka had checked on Payal, who was still sleeping soundly, before retiring for the night.
As Arnav and Khushi reached her old room - which still looked exactly the way she had left her - Khushi held Arnav's arm and asked "Sleep by my side, please. I will be too scared to sleep alone tonight."
Arnav nodded. "You don't have to ask. Even I don't want to let you out of my sight. You lie down, I was just going to change and come in five minutes."
Exactly 5 minutes later, Arnav walked in to the room and slipped next to Khushi in the bed. He was typing furiously on his phone. A minute later, he realized she was looking at him and he looked up and drew her closer as he kept the phone aside.
"Sorry. I was just telling Anjali you are fine before we sleep. She saw the news on TV and called me up worried...she has been asking updates about you every hour since"
"...and Mamiji?"
Arnav stilled at Khushi's question, then looked away. Mamiji had called, as well, but Arnav had refused to talk to her beyond telling her that he and his Khushi were ok. Somehow, he couldn't forgive her yet for the insults she had hurled at Khushi.
Guilt swarmed over Khushi as she watched Arnav hide his pain from her. Instinctively she pulled away, withdrawing within herself, as her conscience mocked her for being a burden on Arnav's happiness. She had come close to losing him several times today - first, when she herself pushed him away and then at the hands of Sultan. She shuddered as she recalled the look in Sultan's eyes as she had fallen from the impact of the first gunshot he aimed at Arnav. Two men - one bodyguard and one policemen - were tackling him, but Sultan's eyes had a blind rage directed at Arnav as he raised his hand a second time to shoot Arnav, his first attempt having being foiled. Without thinking, she had picked the gun that had fallen next to her and shot at Sultan. Khushi's bullet hit Sultan straight in the face, while Sultan's shot hit a car. The echo of those shots had haunted her while she had been medicated, but now that she was awake those sounds had dissolved behind the fear that had captured her heart at that moment. The fear of losing Arnav.
It was only a few millimetres, but Arnav noticed her movement and turned to find Khushi gazing at the ceiling withdrawn, her eyes misted. He touched her chin and turned her face towards himself. Disliking the shimmer in her eyes, he caressed her cheek, then kissed her forehead gently.
"I love you Khushi" he softly said. In response, Khushi buried her face in Arnav's chest and held him as closely as she could with her injured shoulder. Guilt weighed heavy on her, but for the moment, she was so deprived of peace that she decided to quietly accept the warmth offered by Arnav's proximity. Honesty was the easiest, lightest, happiest choice and for once -for this night - Khushi wanted to do the easy, happy thing. The baggage of the past was allowed to be left unattended till the morning.
"I love you too Arnav. I love you very much." she confessed.
Teri baazuon mein meri chahatain samaayein
Teri dhadkaon ko meri dhadkanein sunaaein
Abhi abhi to mile ho
Abhi na karo door jaane ki baat
Abhi abhi to dil ki suni hai
Abhi na karo zamaane ki baat
Hum to haare, maahiya ve
Moonde naina neend tihare...
Udne Ki Aasha
Anupamaa
29