Okay that's it! No more narration from some third grade idiot who doesn't know how to start things off! Yes that's me! The girl this moron of a narrator was referring to! Don't worry. I know you're confused right now! I only need a few minutes of your time in first person! Then things will be back to normal...or not. Quit being confused!
Let's start over by lettine me introducing myself. Hi. I'm Mrinalini Mehta. Please call me Milli! Everyone does!
Where I am right now and who I'm with was all unexpected. I have to say...truth is the truth. Nothing in life is normal. Not even with me.
Now why am I here with this guy? There's a back story to that. So before the lousy narrator goes back to the present, let me rewind to the beginning of today where things were supposed to be normal.
It was just a regular morning here in the grand city of Mumbai. Oh Mumbai...the city where I came to make something out of myself. I just graduated from college two weeks ago. And I got my degree in finance. With college over, there was only one thing running on my mind-getting a job. My dad was working as a manager at Ahmedbad City Bank and my mom was a retired school teacher. With me being the only daughter, I had to figure out a way to support them. So then I shifted here to Mumbai in search of a job.
Okay, coming back to this morning. Everything was all normal. In fact, I was walking back after a job interview. As I was walking down the streets, a young guy pops out from one of the buildings I was passing by. One look at this guy and the only thing I could pay attention to was his odd dressing style. He had a purple plaid scarf tied around his neck with a Salman Khan T-shirt, a purple blazer, blue dress pants, and navy blue dress shoes. He then looks at me and says, "Hi. Can you come with me for a second?"
"Huh?" I say, confused.
"I just need your help for a moment." he says.
"Um okay." I reply as I walk right behind him inside the building.
"You're not married, are you?!" the guy asks.
"No." I say, thinking he doesn't want to get in trouble with being with a married girl.
If only I realized following this guy would land me into a big mess. Why did I follow him?! I was already nervous about how my job interview went. And whether I got the job or not! And its probably these worries that made me make the biggest blunder of my life.
The guy then leads me to an office of some sort where an old man in a suit is at his desk. The guy then takes some paper from the desk and says, "Can you sign this?"
Folks, when someone asks you to sign something, make sure you KNOW what you're signing. I didn't bother to read the paper. I thought this guy was just making me sign some petition or whatever. So I went ahead and signed my name where he pointed for me to sign. After doing that, I noticed the guy sign his name on the paper as well. It read Rishi Singhania. If only his dressing suited a nice name like that.
I was just about to leave until the old man then grabbed the paper, got up, and said, "Congratulations Rishi Singhania and Mrinalini Mehta...under the Mumbai Marriage Registration Office, you are now officially husband and wife."
WHAT?!
Someone pinch me. I must be having a bad dream!
"Mr. Singhania, you need to do the usual rituals before you go." the old man told Rishi. And I couldn't believe this. I stand there, appalled as ever, while this guy who I've known for barely three minutes, ties a mangalsutra around my neck, puts sindoor on my forehead, and then places a garland on my neck. The old man then hands me the garland that I'm supposed to put over my so called husband. Instead, I give him a tight slap on the face. With that, I leave the office while the old man looks on confused.
"I should go now! I think she's a bit mad at me! You know how it is with married couples!" Rishi exclaims. He then takes the garland from the old man and puts it on himself.
I'm walking out of the building and that's when Rishi runs after me, stopping me by grabbing my hand.
"Let go of me!"
"Listen to me, Milani!"
"Its Mrinalini!"
"Man, that's a tongue twister of a name! That and your surname have to change now!"
"Shut up! What the hell was that?! How could you just trick me into getting married to you?!"
"I didn't trick you! Don't you know this is a marriage registration office?!"
"No! I'm new to this city!"
"Should've figured as much since you dress like that."
"You know what?! I should turn you into the police right now! This is nonsense!"
"You wouldn't want to do that!"
"And why wouldn't I?!"
"Because I'm Randeer Singhania's only son."
"Randeer Singhania? The industrailist? He's your father?"
"Yes!"
"You're the son of such a smart and intelligent man, yet you have no brains whatsover! Marrying a girl by force is one thing! But randomly picking up a girl from the streets and marrying her when you've only known her for barely a minute is just plain crazy!"
"That's why I'm telling you to listen, Mril..Mil...man is there a shorter name for you?!"
"People I like call me Milli. And frankly I don't like you!"
"Fine then. Your last name's Mehta. Perfect! I'll call you M&M!"
"Listen, you have two minutes to explain why you did this before I call the police."
"All right! See, Randeer Singhania is my father. And at the moment, we're not very tight. See, my dad kicked me out of his house a week ago. He was tired of me spending his money all the time as usual. So he wanted me to survive in the real world on my own. And that's the thing...I can't do it! These are literally the only clothes I have right now because he didn't even let me pack before leaving!"
"Get to the point!"
"Its pretty simple. I married you. Now, I can go back to my dad and tell him that I've married a nice, simple, traditional Indian girl who is the perfect daughter-in-law my dad always wanted. And now that I have you with me, he'll have to take me back since I have a wife now."
"So you want to use me as a ticket to get back into your dad's house?! That is beyond cheap! And what makes you think I would do that?!"
"Think about it. With my dad's help, you'll get whatever you need. Money for family, yourself, and you get to stay in a nice house. Doesn't that sound nice?!"
"It does. But how can I put up with this?! We're married now! Marriage is no joke!"
"I know! You only have to put up with this drama for a while. Then later, we can annul the marriage and pretend none of this ever happened. Simple! Just do it and I will do whatever you want! Please!"
And what could I do?! I was now the wife of this useless son of one of the richest people in the city. I couldn't mess with that. So I agreed to go along with this drama in hopes things could somehow go back to normal. Well...now you know the story! Narrator, please continue from the present!
In the mansion, Milli and Rishi walked down into what appeared to be the family room where Randeer Singhania was sitting right on his personal couch. Rishi told Milli to stay put for a moment while Rishi walked up to his father, who looked at him with stern eyes. He got up and said, "What the hell are you doing here?! Didn't I kick you out a week ago?!"
"Dad, listen to me, please! I'm a changed boy now!"
"No you're not! You're wearing the same clothes from last week!"
"I mean from the inside, dad! You told me to be more serious in life! And now...I made the most serious decision of my life!"
"And what is that?"
"I got married!"
Randeer looked at Rishi with boggled eyes. "Oh honey! Please come meet dad!" Rishi calls to Milli.
Moron, Milli says to herself as she then walks over before Randeer, looking like the typical shy bride as Rishi put his arms on her shoulders. "I know you're shocked, dad," Rishi said. "But this is the truth. I'm a married man now."
"How did this happen?" Randeer asks.
"I'll explain everything." Rishi says.
In the living room, Rishi and Milli sat on a couch before Randeer, who looked at the two with a curious look on his face. "One thing I don't get...since when did you know this girl?" Randeer asked. "You've had so many girlfriends. And she doesn't seem to be one of them."
So many girlfriends?! I was right! He's a number one flirt! Milli shook her head.
Leave it to dad to bring my past into everything! Rishi rolled his eyes.
"Actually, dad...I met her last week."
"Last week?! Now this is getting even more weird. Since when we're you ever interested in getting married?! Every time I bring a rishta for you, you run off to the club next door. So what made you marry a girl who you've known for only a week!"
Well actually its really only six hours, Mr. Singhania. But your point is still the same, Milli said to herself.
"I know, dad. But you see, this girl here is the reason my life changed. In fact, you won't believe what it was like the first time I saw her."
"How did you two meet?"
Oh this should be interesting, Milli said to herself as she looked at Rishi.
"It was beautiful, dad. After you kicked me out, I was ready to leave Mumbai. It was a windy afternoon. I had just boarded the train to Pune. As I was on the train, I looked out and there I saw something. Or better yet someone. It was a girl. A beautiful, ravishing young girl. Her raven black hair was all let out and she wore a red half saree."
Please tell me this isn't going where I think its going, Milli shakes her head.
"The train was just leaving. And the damsel was running towards the train, trying to catch it. I couldn't let such a beauty miss her train. I extended my hand for her and she continued running as the train kept moving. It kept going and going and finally, she grabbed hold of my hand and I pulled her into the train."
Seriously..DDLJ? He couldn't come up with something original?! Milli rolled her eyes.
"And that was Milli, dad." Rishi smiled.
"Wow, son. That's beautiful. What a touching moment!" Randeer said as if he had tears in his eyes.
"Sir, do you watch films?" Milli asked Randeer and Rishi eyed her.
"No, not really! I never get the time!" Randeer replied. "And don't call me sir, Milli! You're my daughter-in-law now! Call me papa!"
"Dad, now you know how much I love my Milli!" Rishi exclaimed as he grabbed hold of Milli's cheeks, pinching them. "I even have a pet name for her! M&M!"
"You mean like the rapper?" Randeer asked.
"No dad! The candy!" Rishi replied. "She's my sweet little M&M."
I really wish I could punch him right now, Milli thought to herself.
"Very sweet," Randeer said. "Dear, what's your real name?"
"Mrinalini," Milli answered. "Mrinalini Mehta."
"Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful," Randeer said. "Son, I have to say...I'm proud of you. You made a great choice."
"Thank you, dad! So glad to see you accepted us!" Rishi exclaimed. "That means we get to stay here, right?!"
"Oh heck no, son!" Randeer replied. "You both are married now. You deserve your own space with your own privacy."
"Privacy?!" Rishi and Milli exclaimed in unison.
"Yes! Here's what I'll do," Randeer continued. "I have a flat down near my office. You two can stay there till you both settle down. And don't worry. I know you both will need some help till my son here gets a job. Son, you can have your credit card and your car back."
"Really?! Thanks, dad!" Rishi exclaimed. "Come, Milli! Let's take dad's blessings!"
Milli then gave a fake smile as she got up along with Rishi and touched Randeer's feet while Randeer patted his hands on both their heads. "Live long," Randeer said as he then gave both Rishi and Milli a hug. "May you both be happy."
"And hopefully Shahrukh Khan would bless us both!" Rishi smiled. "After all, we're like rab ne bana di jodi!"
Again the filmy talk! Does this guy do anything original besides his wardrobe?! Milli shook her head.
"Come. Rishi, pack your things. I'll take you both to your flat in the evening." Randeer said.
And so, that evening, Randeer took Rishi and Milli in downtown Mumbai where his flat was. He led the two to the highest floor of the building, taking them to flat no. 101. "This is where you both will be staying." Randeer told Rishi and Milli.
"Here?!" Rishi and Milli said in unison.
"Yes!" Randeer replied. "I had been planning on making Rishi live here with his wife after he got married. And now that you both are married, you'll manage here till Rishi gets a job. Well...if he gets one."
"Dad!" Rishi exclaimed.
"Okay I won't embarass you any further, son," Randeer said. "Take care of Milli. I'll see you both later. Bye."
"Bye, dad!" Rishi waved bye as Randeer left the flat.
Milli then turned to Rishi with an unpleasant look on her face.
"Oh now what, M&M?!" Rishi asked.
"Don't call me that!" Milli talked back as she then walked off towards the bathroom.
"Well then...touchy." Rishi said.
It was night time. In the one bedroom of the flat, Rishi was already in bed, tucked under the blanket as he tried to straighten his pillow. Then, Milli came inside the room and was stunned at what she saw. She saw Rishi get out of the bed, picking up the pillow he dropped on the floor. But that wasn't what freaked Milli out. Rishi was wearing a pair of Hollister sweat pants and didn't even have a shirt to wear with it. Yes, he was shirtless. And once he saw Milli, Milli turned around from him, her face turning red.
"What the heck is wrong with you?! Who do you think you are?! Some Calvin Klein model?!"
"Why are you even in my room?!"
"This is the only bedroom in the flat!"
"Okay. Then why'd you turn around?!"
"You should know why! Shameless!"
"Oh I get it!"
"Finally we're on the same page."
"After seeing my body, you're pretty intimidated! Its all right! Its normal with all the ladies!"
"What?! Eww! There's nothing like that! Now go put a shirt on!"
"Who are you?! My wife?!"
Rishi then realized what he said. He rolled his eyes, grabbing a a black tank shirt from the closet and putting it on.
This is why men don't get married! Because women have the upper hand in these things! Rishi shook his head.
"Are you covered up?!"
"Well my arms are exposed! Do I have to wear a burqa then?!"
Milli rolled her eyes as she turned around to Rishi. "Listen, what do we do now?" Milli asked. "There's only one bedroom and one bed."
"So what? Just sleep here then."
"Is something wrong with you?! If you think I'm one of those girls that sleeps with a man she's barely known for a day, then you got another thing coming, mister!"
"Its not like I need a license to sleep with you! We're married now!"
"Not by consent technically!"
"Fine. You don't have to sleep here! The floor is always free!"
"You mean you'd let a girl sleep on the floor while you comfortably sleep on a cozy bed?!"
"Yeah pretty much."
What a douchebag, Milli shook her head.
With that, Rishi got under the blanket and laid down on the right side of the bed. In frustration, Milli took out her earrings and threw them on the nightstand. She then grabbed another blanket from the closet and laid down on the left side of the bed. "You're going to sleep in that?" Rishi asked, noticing Milli dressed in a simple white salwar kameez.
"Why?! Should I wear lingerie then?!"
"I was just asking! Gosh!"
Idiot, Milli said to herself as she rested her head on her pillow. Rishi looked up at the ceiling for a moment and then turned to Milli, who was turned away from him on the other side of the bed, trying to sleep.
"You know...I usually like talking to myself before I go to sleep.It helps me sleep faster."
"Good for you!"
"But now you're here! So why don't we talk till we fall asleep?"
"You want to have a conversation with me at 10:45 at night?"
"Is that a problem? Because I can just ramble to myself all night. I might not fall asleep till twelve! Maybe even two!"
"Start talking."
"Okay...how old are you exactly?"
"I'm twenty one."
"Wow. I've been with many girls. You're actually the youngest."
Oh wow! Now he makes the situation worse than it is! Did he purposely go for young prey?! Milli asked herself.
How old are you then?! Forty?!"
"No! I'm twenty six."
"Twenty six and jobless. Now that's something."
Oh now she's trying to make me look like a fool! Rishi thought to himself. She may be the youngest one, but she defintely is the smartest!
"Oh and you have a job?!"
"Not yet. But at least I came to Mumbai to make my own money. Not mooch off of my daddy's credit card!"
"Man, you are sour, M&M!"
"I told you not to call me that!"
"Man, you're nothing like my previous girlfriends."
"And how many did you have?! Forty?!"
"No...forty one."
A player! I'm laying on the same bed with a player! Milli shook her head. A jobless, spoiled player! Can this get any worse?!
"You know...now that I think about it...all my girlfriends were different. I mean...there was Anushka. And man she was gorgeous! She could turn anyone on in a swimsuit!"
Oh God! Now he's going to go on and on about his sexy girlfriends! Milli smacked her face in her pillow. Do all players do this?!
"Then there was Corina. She was a drama queen! I broke up with her though! She didn't! I dumped her this time!"
Congratulations! Why don't I give you an award?! Douchebag Boyfriend of the Year! Milli rolled her eyes.
"You know how I dumped her?!"
"How?"
"By text message."
Yep, I should get him that award! Milli nodded her head.
Ten minutes went by and Rishi was still talking and talking. "And there was Meera," Rishi went on. "Now she was dynamite! One look at her and anyone would get hooked! I did! If only she didn't leave me to star in films! Man, no one is loyal these days. Don't you agree?"
Rishi then turned to Milli, seeing she was sound asleep. "Hello?! M&M!" Rishi called. "Sleeping beauty? Aati kya khandala?"
With no answer, Rishi shook his head as he turned around and went to sleep.
Milli then opened her eyes, shaking her head.
This is going to be a nightmare.
Arjun
Hindi TV Shows
