dedicated to DONNY!!! sorry it didn't come out better bhai!!
please do not quote the whole drabble as it clutters the page, thanks!
*Abhi walks into the bedroom and sees Pragya's outfit for Bulbul's shaadi laid out on the bed*
*He stares at it for a few seconds...memories of the gola-walla near Aaliya's college surge in his mind...suddenly his strained synapses decide enough is enough and he SNAPS...*
A: FUGGY. COME OUT HERE NOW.
P: *runs in from the closet wearing her white sleep suit with her hair wrapped in a towel* What! What happened!
A: *agitated* Fuggy this has got to stop!
P: *bewildered* What?
A: This - this - this!!! *points at the sky-blue blue sari on the bed, complete with delicate gold accents and a half-net blouse*
P: My sari has to - stop? What? But my sari isn't doing anything...
A: No! You! YOU have to stop!! Stop dressing like - like - popsicles!
P:...What? Are you feeling ok? Have you hit the apple juice early -
A: No! Just a man has his limits, ok, and I can't take anymore of you walking around looking so - so - lickable at these family functions! Have some shame, woman!
P: *wide eyed...blushing...* L-lickable?
A: Yes! It started at Aalu's sangeet last year. I don't know where you got that orange creamsicle sari, but I am telling you it gave me the most disturbing thoughts...I didn't even like you then and I still just wanted to bring you back up here and get through all the orange to the sweet centre!
P: Uh...wha...waaaittt!! That was the time - you started canoodling with Tanu and Puneet caught you! And you're telling me that my sari -
A: Cut me some slack! I was out of my mind with appetite, ok! Thank god all that drama happened and I almost forgot about it! But then you wore that black cola pop sari at New Year's -
P: ...Black...cola pop?
A: If Meethu wasn't there to keep me busy that sari would have gotten both of us into trouble.
P: I don't...really understand what you're trying to say...
A: And then! Of all damn places! That sari you found in the hut by the lake! Like a cherry rocket!
P: ...Is that an American thing?
A: Can you even imagine, Fuggy? There I was, barely recovered from a bullet to the chest, and there you were, wearing that red confection, and I just had all these urges...
P: What urges...
A: Tasting urges...eating urges...gorging urges...I love cherries.
P: Oh...my god...☺️
A: The police saved me that time...but then who told you to go and wear that pista kulfi sari! Fuggy, how was I supposed to enjoy my welcome back party if my wife was wandering around looking like every boy's summer fantasy?
P: What even? But you got so mad at me that night -
A: As distraction! And then you went and threw yourself at me -
P: Arre! As if you minded that hug!
A: And then the other day! At the sangeet, that pink thing, where did you get it? I just kept thinking of roohafzah on my tongue...Fuggy, I cannot have these kinds of thoughts about you!
P: Because you're about to become a father by another woman and I'm going to leave you forever?
A: What! No! Because you're too much of a delicacy to be gobbled whole. I need you to not be popsicles, Fuggy!
P: I..what?
A: Can't you just wear that orange-red thing from the mehendi again? This blue one is reminding me of these cocktail golas I used to have and if I have that in my head all night...forget about attending your sister's wedding.
P: Arre!! Is this where your brain is at! What about our big Tanu problem? How can you think of popsicles -
A: Exactly!! Don't dress so tasty and then maybe I can concentrate on our problem solving!
P: ...Tasty.
A: Mouthwatering!
P: Like...popsicles. Ice lollies.
A: Refreshing and delicious and irresistible.
P: You've done a pretty good job at resisting.
A: Not if you put that blue thing on.
P: Fine...I'll find something else...but then you better solve this Tanu problem because I don't like to think of you going hungry all the time.
A: That's like a good wife!
P: I also don't like being a popsicle all the time...frozen and forgotten in the freezer...if you know what I mean.
A: I promise. As soon as that Tanu problem is solved. Lots of...tongue action 😉
P: Eeeks 😳
THE END
Bade Achche Lagte Hain Naya Season
621