Abhigya FF:Night To Remember LAST ch PG 75 NEW FF LINK pg 1 - Page 41

Chapter 15

It was late in the afternoon, the workers at the construction site had taken a lunch break, I glanced at my watch, still two more hours to go before her puja would get over, that was what purab had told me, what was the need for her to do all this, I still failed to understand. Slipping my hands in my pockets I walked around the site casually kicking the small stones that were coming my way, when my gaze fell on a couple who were sitting under the tree.

The husband after slogging for hours was digging into the food made by his wife while she was fanning him with a newspaper to keep away all the house flies that were trying to disturb him. There was a sense of contentment on the wife's face as she watched her husband eat, what pleasure did these women get in feeding their husbands and children? Why did they starve themselves till other members of family were properly fed? From the first day of our marriage she started waiting for me to have food before her, I wondered why? The circumstances under which we got married and the mental state in which I was back then I never expected nor wanted her to wait for me, in fact for quite some time I overlooked this gesture of hers, didn't wish to acknowledge and give respect to her actions. But slowly the guilt of being rude and indifferent to her without any fault of hers began bothering me, even then I didn't appreciate the fact that someone remained hungry till I ate on the contrary I started accepting and somewhere expecting her to wait for me.

Even though till few days back we didn't share a proper meal together , still her mere presence had a very calming effect on me, probably because of my selfish reasons I never stopped her for waiting for me. In her eyes I felt special and important. After so many years I began wanting to go back home early, the house turned into a home and my room a place though silent had some bitter sweet moments that were exchanged all thanks to her.

I glanced at the couple once again, the husband was busy eating while the wife rattled what all she did the whole day in his absence, indeed my eyes witnessed a very complete and blissful scene which was quite different from what we both shared however two things were common, first like the wife she too placed me on a pedestal without any reason and then would seek my permission before eating anything or should I say ensured that I had something before she could do the same and for that I only needed to blink my eyes and she waited for that moment, she didn't have to but still she did. Second just like the wife she too exhibited a satisfied expression on her face even when I wouldn't have the food prepared by her, sometimes I felt that half of her appetite got satiated just by seeing me eat properly, a smile crept my lips.

I was lost in my thoughts when a laborer came up to me and asked," should I set out the lunch for you?" bulbul had packed a tiffin box for me which was in the car, I shook my head in negation, I wasn't hungry, my taste buds could still vaguely relish what they had last night especially the kheer.

I went back to the car, Taking out the bottle I brought it to my lips when I remembered something and stopped then poured some water on my face. I slid my hands in the pockets in search of a handkerchief but it wasn't there, I'd forgotten to carry one. Sitting in the car my gaze automatically fell on the seat next to mine where she'd sat and offered her dupatta to wipe off my wet face. Shaking my head I began driving back home.

The whole house was quiet and empty, bulbul was engrossed in her paintings while daadi was offering her evening prayers in her room. My head was paining slightly so thought of going to my room to take a nap. Lying on the bed my eyes travelled across the room and stopped at the recliner where she would often be sitting / sleeping, suddenly a feeling of restlessness ran through my body as I thought about her. Glancing at the watch her words rung in my ears," tomorrow when I won't be with you then this watch will remind you of the time we spent together."

Her puja would be over soon. I got up from my bed and went to the recliner, though it was way too small and uncomfortable for me still there was some comfort in this discomfort. Resting my head on the cushion, I tried to sleep when she came before my closed eyes, she seemed scared, distressed and lost, my forehead wrinkled as I saw her screaming for help, outstretching her hand she was calling out to me, I wanted to rescue her, hold her, even raised my hand to reach out to her but she vanished all of a sudden. I sat up with a jerk and felt something was wrong, something was definitely wrong with her. Clenching my jaws hard I held my head and tried to think straight when I my cell phone vibrated, her name flashed on the screen and I was relieved.

" pragya !"

" Abhi beta, it's me, pragya's maa." her mother was on the line, who sounded really agitated but what was she doing with her cell phone?

" where's pragya?" I just couldn't wait to know. A sense of panic crept within me.

" beta.. pragya is missing." She burst into tears.

" WHAT ! MISSING?" I growled on the phone. My ears couldn't understand her words, what did she mean by saying that pragya had gone missing? My senses went numb for a moment just then purab took the phone and informed," abhi ..because of shivratri this place is extremely crowded ..and in the evening people in large numbers turned up for the aarti after the puja...there was pushing and shoving ..pragya was also part of the crowd ..since then she's is missing but abhi, you calm down I'm searching for her."

" pragya is nowhere to be found and you're asking me to calm down." I snarled like a wounded tiger. Gritting my teeth I hoped she didn't end up hurting herself in the stampede, I was so mad at myself for letting her go and barked on the phone," purab ..i'm coming right away ..till then you search every nook and corner... I want pragya at any damn cost!"

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The sun had set when I reached the temple and the scene that I witnessed before my eyes made my head spin 360 degrees, hundreds of devotees had gathered there who were still pushing and shoving each other probably that had triggered the stampede in the narrow lane which led to the temple. There was total chaos as several women and children had got injured, police and ambulance service were finding it difficult to reach out to them.

My eyes moved frantically to search her but failed to spot her anywhere instead found innocent people drenched in blood. The sight jolted something inside me, I'd taken away so many lives so many times in the past but never imagined that dead bodies would lay around in a pious place like this. Lifting my head my gaze moved up the stairs to the idol of lord Shiva and questioned him, people who believed in You came here to worship you and what did they get in return? I accepted that I didn't have faith in You because I never got what I expected out of you and committed heinous crimes so today did You wish to punish me for all the mistakes that I'd done by showing me the cruel side of life? If yes, then my body should have been soaked in blood, I should've been dead instead of all these people.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around it was her mother who was sobbing profusely," beta ..we are unable to trace pragya, I'm so scared." Holding her by her shoulders I assured her that nothing would happen to her daughter, I'd bring her back safely then called up purab who was looking for her in nearby hospitals and nursing homes," purab , you come back here and take pragya's maa home. She's panicking. I'll find pragya myself." It was tough to console a worried mother who was adamant on not going back home without her daughter but still somehow I managed to send her back.

Pursing my lips I looked at the victims who were being taken away in ambulances, deep down hoping she was not one of them. Moving through the crowd my foot pressed something underneath it, I moved it back and looked down, it was the gold chain that I'd tied around her neck on our wedding day. Picking it up I noticed it had spots of blood on it, a sudden chill ran down my spine, no she must be fine, nothing could have happened to her, I told myself then glanced at the idol one more time and thought, You couldn't be so harsh on her, You couldn't punish her for my mistakes, You couldn't do this to me, I wouldn't let it happen. Slipping the chain in my pocket I left to find her.

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With every hospital that I visited my heart became all the more heavier because hospital was not one of those places that anybody would like to go. Families were howling for their loved ones who were no more , for the first time I actually realized what families went through when they lost their dear ones. The sight of patients lying on the stretchers with broken limbs waiting to be treated was in itself very shocking and horrifying. It was easy to take away life but to see someone close to you struggling for life was painstakingly difficult and I didn't wish to see her like that. I entered every clinic, dispensary, hospital with the hope of finding her but at the same time dreaded not to see her in this condition. A part of me was relieved not to find her in any of these places but the other part of me was worried to no extent and wondered, if not here then where else was she?

With each passing minute I felt as if she was moving away from me, I sat on the pavement defeated and recalled her last words," I'll be back even before you know." My eyes longed to get a glimpse of her, my ears ached to hear her, my wait was getting over and still she was nowhere. Sighing deeply I glanced at the sky above, it was dark and cloudy, the moon was hiding behind the clouds.

"but every night is not fortunate to have its moon...some nights are dark and moonless."

Her words pierced through my heart but closing my eyes I swore to myself, my nights wouldn't be dark and moonless.

My cell phone vibrated, I picked it up.

" suniye."

" pragya?" I whispered back in disbelief.

" yes." She said again softly.

" where are you? Are you alright." My voice grew louder with each passing second as a wave of happiness ran through my body, I was dying to reach out to her.

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It was dark and dingy where she'd called me, I walked slowly inside the room, she was lying on an old cot with her eyes closed. A nearby lamp lit her face, there was a deep cut on her forehead. I sat close to her and watched her silently, it felt as if I was seeing her after ages, my eyes turned moist. She was in this state only and only because of me, had I not refused to offer the prayers myself she wouldn't be here, had I reacted as per my instincts and not let her leave she wouldn't have been hurt, I was to be blamed solely for her condition, a tear drop fell on her cheek.

She opened her tired eyes and looked at me, there was a sense of relief in them and I didn't know what to say to her, I'd gone completely blank. She sat up slowly, her gaze hovered over my face and her lips quivered before whispering," suniye."

The next moment I engulfed her in my arms and closed my eyes tightly, I held her firmly yet gently, first making myself believe that she was actually with me and then fearing not to lose her again. I wasn't embracing her, I was embracing my life. Her arms slowly went up around my back and I buried my face in her neck, breathing in quietly, in her I found peace and felt that my whole world culminated between my arms, my heart was alive again as I held her close to myself. I had no idea for how long we engulfed each other but when we parted, both had teary eyes.

" how did all this happen?" I asked

" after completing the puja I went to attend the aarti..the entrance was quite crowded ...suddenly people went bezerk when doors of the temple opened .. and in all this chaos my mangalsutra dropped somewhere ..i was trying to find it when someone pushed me from behind ..i fell and banged my head against the steps .thereafter I fainted ...when I regained consciousness I was here..an old couple brought me here." She narrated the whole incident. I was so upset to know that for an ordinary chain she'd risked her life, what if something more serious had happened to her?

" you did all this for that chain? What was the need, I would have got you another one." Holding her by her shoulders I added, " you know pragya, you scared the hell out of me." annoyance reflected in my tone.

She stared at me without regretting her act of stupidity and replied shaking her head in disappointment," that wasn't a piece of jewelry. It was my mangalsutra...and even I was scared...I feared to lose you along with the mangalsutra"

It amazed me, she kept calling that gold chain her mangalsutra something which I'd tied in a fit of rage meant so much to her and wait a minute, did she say she was scared to lose me?

I slipped my hand in the pocket to take out her " mangal sutra" and relieve her off her tension but before that the old lady knocked at the door and asked," beta ..would you both like to eat something?" she shook her head and replied," no thanks kaki, I need to return to the temple and finish the aarti ..only then can I eat" then brought her legs down and stood up, the lady smiled and left silently.

I looked at her in shock, had she lost her mind? she wanted to go back to the temple to complete her puja but why?

" pragya you know your mother is damn worried? Enough of this puja, we are going back home and that's final !" I said firmly.

Holding my arm she pressed it and said," if I don't finish the puja properly then I'll always be restless ...and why don't you inform everyone at home that you've found me and I'm fine."

I parted my lips to protest but couldn't when she made that innocent face and urged, " please let me do this ... please ...see now even you are there with me so nothing will happen to me." I didn't know why I always give in to her silly demands.

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The temple was less chaotic this time, most of the people who needed to be hospitalized had been taken away in the ambulance and very few devotees were left. We both stood before the idol with folded hands and closed eyes. The whole day's events flashed before my eyes, in one single day I'd gone through a gamut of emotions, in the beginning I thought that He wanted to make me realize how ruthlessly I'd taken away innocent lives in the past and punish me by hurting khushi and when I was on the verge of losing her, He gave her back to me so easily.

A person like me who didn't believe in Him, who thought he could never go weak, was still standing before Him with folded hands. I looked at her and wondered whether this whole experience was meant to punish me for my past or make me realize how beautiful and precious my present was.

The priest did the arti as she held the plate silently in her hands, afterwards he gave her a diya to float in the lake so that her wish got fulfilled. She turned to leave when I stopped her and took out the chain from my pocket. Just the sight of it brought a warm smile on her face. I went close to her and tied it around her neck, last time when I'd done the same it meant nothing to me, this marriage meant nothing to me, the vows taken meant nothing above all she meant nothing to me but now after spending close to seven months with her, this relationship was no longer a burden in fact it had become my need and I promised to cherish, respect and value it.

Her eyes turned moist when I moved back, hard to admit but now she meant the world to me, I glanced at the idol of lord Shiva and shut my eyes for a few seconds before walking down the stairs along with her to the banks of the holy river. She picked up the diya and looked at me expecting me to float the diya along with her. Holding it I bent down with her, she closed her eyes to make a wish, if she wished a long life for me then I wished to spend that life with her. Opening her eyes we slowly pushed the diya in the water, my gaze followed it as far as it could, hoping that it didn't drown in the water, hoping that my wish didn't remain unfulfilled.

She brought a ladoo close to my mouth and my brows knotted in confusion, she'd been fasting since morning so she should have been eating it, but she stretched her lips in a smile and said," I know even you've not eaten since morning." I opened my mouth and had a bite then fed her the rest. With her the sweet tasted sweeter than it ever did, life looked more beautiful than it ever did.

Could I ever get a better life partner than her? Could anybody else other than her understand my silence more than my words? Could anyone else complete my incomplete story? My mind, heart and soul, all said "NO" as I glanced at the moon which was peeping through the clouds.

thanks for reading

Rose