It's never too late
"It's never too late - never too late to start over, never too late to be happy." -Jane Fonda
"Raman, none of this is working. How many times did we try? I don't want to try anymore, I don't want to fail anymore," she said, defeated, sitting on their bed. Everyone who knows her, or thinks they know her, will see her as this really strong, goal-oriented doctor. But is that the reality? The reality is that she isn't as strong as people perceive her to be. Yes, at times she has to be strong, she has to be the pillar holding her entire family together, but at times she is just as vulnerable. The funny thing is, she wasn't always like this. She wasn't always this strong. She used to be nave, innocent, happy, lively. All that changed, though. All that changed when she was betrayed by the person she loved the most. The person with whom she thought she would spend the rest of her life with. Not only did she lose the person she loved the most, she was also hit by the harsh reality, the harsh reality of never being able to give birth to a child, something she has always wanted. Growing up, she only wanted two things; a loving husband and children and in one day, she lost both. She lost the person she was going to spend the rest of her life with and the ability to conceive. Her whole world fell apart. But, she gradually strengthened from it. She could differentiate between honest and fake people, thanks to her betraying fianc. Now that she thinks about it, she is glad, glad for the turn of events that took place. Now, not only does she have a loving husband, but she also has two kids. Funny how life works, right?
She thought she had it all. She had Raman, Adi and Ruhi; her perfect little family...but somewhere, she felt incomplete. She experienced it all; pain, love, hatred, betrayal, happiness, everything. Except pregnancy. Which is why when Raman had informed her she could get pregnancy, that she had chances, she was over the moon. But life is not that easy and she has learned that the hard way. Even though she had high hopes, she knew it was going to be a long and hard journey, to finally get to destination. They have done a couple of IVF medications but to no avail. It's been in vain.
"Ishita, meri Jhansi Ki Rani, just one more time... I know how it how it feels, I can understand. But this will be the last time, Ishita," Raman replied, sitting next to her, just as defeated as she is, but only from the inside, he wouldn't dare let her know he feels the same... that he feels just as defeated, scared, vulnerable and such a failure...because he needs to be strong for her.
"Raman, what if it doesn't work this time too? Raman, we have been at it two times now, it's been one year now." Raman sighed. He shouldn't be doing this. He shouldn't have done this at all. He thought it would be easier. After everything he has been through, he thought this would be a piece of cake, because he only thought about the results; their own baby...he didn't give much thought about the process of getting there, doing all the IVF techniques.
When he got married to his first wife, he was on top of the world. He could never understand why a woman as beautiful as Shagun would ever want to marry a dork like him. Lucky. That is the word that came to his mind. He was in love. Love. That is what he thought...that is until she left him. After that all he felt was hate. Hatred towards her, hatred towards everything that reminded him of her, including their daughter. He lived six years with that hatred. But one day, he met Ishita. He hated her too...her guts, everything about her. He thought she was the same as his ex-wife...except that unlike his ex-wife, she had a heart. She genuinely loved his daughter...and somehow, through loving his daughter, he fell in love with her and now they have been married for two and a half years...and he is more in love with her in just two and a half years than he was in love with Shagun for six years. He would've exactly call what he felt for Shagun, love, anymore. It's more like an infatuation...a fascination. If with Shagun he felt lucky, then with Ishita, he doesn't even have the words to describe how he feels. His feelings are more intense and deep, sometimes it's hard for him to breathe, he feels suffocated and consumed because his feelings for her are just as strong.
That's why, just looking at her right now, is killing him, because all he ever wanted was to give her happiness, give her the one thing she craves the most...giving birth.
To be continued...maybe. š³
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This was initially going to be an OS but as I started writing, I kept on writing and I realised it's going to be long, so this might be a two-shot or a three-shot, depending on the content. Please let me know how it is and if I should continue or just chuck this story..pretty please. šthis is my first time writing Ishra, so please excuse the mistakes and stuff.
Disclaimer: NOT PROOFREAD. š³
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