PART-22
"Aai, why do your words and thoughts return to Raghav every time? Sometimes I feel you love your student more than me!" Kalpana said pouting in a complaining tone, trying to control her tears. The fact that he was everywhere, in her mind, her pain, her happiness, her memories and even in her Aai's love was irking Kalpi. Possibly Raghav was in Kalpana's heart also, she had begun to realize and it was somewhat frightening considering the relation the duo had shared most of their lives. Now when Kamla mentioned Raghav again and after all these years asked her the reason of their fight, Kalpi was afraid. She didn't know what made her more afraid- that Kamla may not understand her own daughter's viewpoint and take Raghav's side; or the fact that her Aai- Raghav's Kamla Maa might show her the mirror of truth. Kalpi was frightened what if Kamla made Kalpi face the reflection of her past, which may only tell her that all these past eight years she had preferred to live in a self-built cocoon of lies and misunderstandings. Would she be able to forgive herself? Or would she be able to forgive Raghav Singhania? Either way, Kalpi was still not ready to reveal the truth of her and Raghav's fight eight years ago. So she tried to avert the topic.
But Kamla understood her daughter's fears and intentions. Smiling, she caressed Kalpi's head, "You know very well beta that for me you both are equal. A mother knows the heart of all her children just the same, without any discrimination; and this mother can see through the pain and truths of both my children. I cannot see you both suffer any more my child, not anymore. I gave you and Raghav enough years to sort things out between you. Gauri Taai and myself sacrificed our friendship, for your both sake. But not anymore; please tell me Kalpi, what had caused you to break every relation with Raghav? What caused you to stay away from him and even your Gauri Taai? What is it which is still present between both of you like an invisible wall? What is preventing you both to realize the nature of true relationship between you both? Won't you tell me Kalpi? Won't you open up to your Aai now at least? Would you allow your mother to suffer more?Kalpi I love both of you..."
"Aai!" Kalpi exclaimed, the realization dawning on her how her and Raghav's personal fights and frictions had made both mothers suffer. How could she be so selfish and blind? She knew that her Aai can read her like a book even if she remains silent. So how could Kamla not read her pain? Feeling guilty that she didn't give her mother even the right to know the truth of eight years back, Kalpi held her mother's hands. "I am sorry Aai, I am sorry. I will tell you...I will" Kalpi said as the pain of separation from Raghav which she'd contained in her heart since eight years, the pain of betrayal she'd felt eight years ago when she'd thought that her idol Raghav Singhania was not worthy to be worshipped; and the pain of confusion started flowing through her eyes. Kalpi made a futile attempt to wipe her tears and holding Kamla's hand, made her sit on the bed, preparing herself for that one narration, which she had in her inner of hearts always wished was only a bad dream.
But this wasn't going to be easy, what does she say to her mother? That eight years ago her daughter Kalpana had found that she was severely attracted to her favourite student Raghav Singhania? That scared with this new awareness, she'd negated all that she had felt for Raghav? Successfully burying those feelings somewhere inside her heart, Kalpana had managed to see Raghav only through the eyes of her mind? Or that all these years, Raghav Singhania was the wrong-doer in her eyes; someone whom she accused of playing dirtiest of dirty tricks with her? Taking a deep breath in and closing her eyes, Kalpi resolved to give justice to her Aai's love. Deciding she won't hide anything from her tonight, Kalpi allowed fresh air of motherly love into her heart's secret-vault.
"It all happened on the last day of our last play together Aai. On the night before, Raghav and I, I, we..." Kalpi hesitated and stammered. But she knew this was important for her Aai to know, to understand her and Raghav's relation. Closing her eyes, Kalpi took a deep breath in and started again "Just a night before we, we had discovered that we do not dislike each other so much. He, he showed to me,that he did like me, in a different way" Kalpi paused and looked at her mother. "You understand na aai, what I am trying to say?" Kalpi asked in almost a whisper from Kamla; and Kamla nodded, placing her hand on Kalpi's. Sighing and taking a breath of relief, Kalpi continued "At Seventeen Years (17Years) of age, I was very scared to become aware of my liking for Raghav. I pushed him away, and listened to my mind. But never in my wildest dreams had I thought that next day wouldn't bring reconcilitation or clearing of doubts & confusions in my heart. I had not thought that this push was only a glimpse, of our impending separation. Maybe my mind had muted voice of my heart, and I have believed all these years that my mind was right", "But,but, now when my heart's voice is louder than my mind's it suffocates me, scares me and bewilders me.What if I was wrong about him Aai?'
Kamla squeezed Kalpi's hands and asked in a gentle voice "What had exactly happened?"
Kalpi raised her eyes, looked into her mother's and said, "The next day my mind was still angry with Raghav. It was then when Nisha, my co-actor told me that she'd seen Raghav breaking hook of one of my dresses."
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With beer-mug in his hand and his back facing Sammy, Raghav had been unsuccessfully trying to avoid any conversation related to Kalpi with his best friend. "Why does a best friend always have to be a snoop?" Raghav thought as he clutched the head of study-chair tightly, ignoring Sammy's repeated childish blabbers like "I am right na bro", "No you cannot hide anything from me; you were jealous of Prem!" A point came when Raghav had enough of testing his patience and turning back to face Sammy he almost shouted. "Okay Enough, enough of your tactics Mr.Samar Raizada. That...is...enough" Raghav said gritting out under his breath.
"What are you trying to assert huh? That I changed the party-scene while shooting due to my jealousy with Prem Kapoor? Or that I didn't like the idea of Kalpana and Prem shopping together for Pakhya's Birthday? Is this what you are trying to say?" Raghav asked in a loud voice and Sammy sheepishly only denied it, with a shake of his head.He realised that he had pushed Raghav too much tonight.
"Fine!" Raghav hissed albeit a bit loudly, emphasizing each and every word he spoke. "Fine, I admit. I admit, I was jealous of Prem Kapoor's closeness with Kalpana" Raghav said and Sammy looked at his best-friend in surprise. He wasn't expecting this result after all this.
"I admit, fark padta hai mujhe; Prem aur Kalpana ki nazdeekiyon se mujhe bahut fark padta hai. Koi aur meri Kalpi ke kareeb ho, use us tarah chhuye, toh Raghav Singhania ko fark padta hai. Kyunki Kalpi-urf-Kalpana Vitthal Jadhav sirf Raghav Singhania ki hai. Kalpana ke kareeb hone ka haq, use khud se door karne ka haq, us se sab se kareebi dost ki tarah baatein karne ka haq aur us se ladai karne ka haq sirf aur sirf mera hai. Use chhoone ka haq, uski madad karne ka haq sirf mera hai; aur koi dusra mere aur mere haq, mere aur Kalpana ke beech mei aaye, ye na toh mujhe pasand hai na gawaara. Kalpana se juda hua har haq bachpan se Raghav Singhania ka tha aur Raghav Singhania ki hi rahega.Wo meri hai, sirf meri" (I admit, I do get affected; Prem and Kalpana's closeness does affect me to a great extent. If someone else is near to my Kalpana, touches her like that, then it does affects Raghav Singhania. Because Kalpana-aka-Kalpana Vitthal Jadhav belongs to only Raghav Singhania. The right to be near Kalpana, the right to push her away from myself, the right to talk with her like a best friend and the right to fight with her is- only and only mine. The right to touch her, the right to help her is only mine; and someone else comes between me and my right, between me and Kalpana, neither do I like this nor is it acceptable to me. Every right associated with Kalpana since childhood was owned by Raghav Singhania and would continue to be owned by him only. She is mine, only mine). Raghav said in one breath and felt a burden lifting off his heart by this confession. This was the first time Raghav had confessed any of his feeling relating to Kalpi so openly in front of anyone.
As he finished, heavy breaths continued filling the void of sound in now silent room. Sammy was silent partly out of shock and partly to give Raghav some time and space to come to terms with this acceptance. Still he tried calling out to Raghav in a low voice, afraid to disturb his thoughts "Raghav, Raghav?" But Raghav had gone deep down the memory lane, remembering the incidents Sammy had mentioned, when he had experienced that jealousy again. First was the scene of a party in the show where the trio-Raghav,Kalpana and Prem were shooting together. The scene was where Kalpana's on-screen ex-husband (played by Prem) and her current love-interest (played by Raghav) were present at the same time, in the same party. This scene was supposed to bring out the jealousy factor openly, as Raghav's character realised his possessive feelings for Kalpana's character. Everything was fine, that is until the shooting started. Sammy was also present to watch the shoot, having stopped after lunch-time because he wanted to discuss something more with Raghav.
Prem was to dance closely with Kalpana, he'd come in the show to win his ex-wife's heart again. He was to use every possible way to re-ignite that fire of love in the heart of Kalpana's character. These interactions were to act as a catalyst in Raghav & Kalpana's on-screen love-story. But the moment Prem's hands touched Kalpi's bare skin; Raghav felt an intense fire burning in his heart. He forgot that he was only to act jealous; because forgetting all about character Raghav Singhania was jealous in reality. Kalpi had been wearing a red-colour saree-gown, leaving her midriff and one shoulder bare. Prem's hands were all over Kalpi's body as far as Raghav was concerned.
KALPI'S DRESS (Please click on the link): -
https://www.styletag.com/products/crimson-crochet-saree-gown-redredss?src=FB-LIKE
The scene demanded a jealous Raghav's character requesting to dance with Kalpana, and thus taking her in his own arms. Raghav did the same, asked Prem for Kalpana's hand in dance and Prem had obliged as per the scene. Though the moment Kalpi felt herself in Raghav's arms, she knew this was much more than acting and much more than the shooting of a scene. Kalpi could see the fires of passion, jealousy and anger burning in Raghav's dazed eyes as he pulled Kalpi closer to himself with full authority. Their bodies seemingly gelled together as Raghav's hands roved down Kalpi's bare shoulder and bare skin of her waist. He had smirked seeing Kalpi shivering with his touch, tremors in Kalpi's body and emotions in her eyes acting like a cold water on his heated heart. And Kalpana, she was having a hard time keeping herself in check and not making it so obvious to everyone present on the sets that she was not merely acting; that she had melted like a chocolate in Raghav's arms.
In the scene Raghav was to kiss Kalpana softly on her two cheeks and caress them, while he passed his hand over one of Kalpana's bare shoulder and arm. But Raghav changed the scene, the glow of Kalpana's dusky skin in color-red and her soft skin, and his own emotions made Raghav mad. He lovingly caressed Kalpi's face both sides, and pressed his lips on Kalpi's cheeks sweetly, devouring her taste. But he didn't stop at that, he softly caressed Kalpi's open hair and nuzzled lightly but lovingly in Kalpi's neck to take her scent in and discreetly placed a kiss there. Kalpana had frozen in Raghav's arms, there was nothing she could do then. She neither wanted to disrupt the shooting nor wished to create a scene of their relation.
Raghav had passed one hand on Kalpi's bare shoulder to her arms, and held her hand. But with his other hand, Raghav had caressed and moved his hand from her chest and up towards Kalpi's neck, kissing her all the while from his eyes. Pressing Kalpi closer to himself, Raghav had enveloped her tiny waist in his both arms completely, pressing her closer to him; and danced with her till the scene was "Cut" by Mr.Roy- the Director. There was complete silence as the shoot got over as for the first time realization began to dawn on people associated with the show that there was something more between Raghav and Kalpana, than childhood acquaintance. On the other side Raghav and Kalpana were lost in each other, standing and facing each other before both of them turned and walked away to their respective vans.
But amidst other smaller tussles and incidents which had triggered jealousy within Raghav, one more specific incident had caused Raghav an unexpected pain. This day and night, had turned out to be one roller-coaster ride for Raghav and Kalpana too. The day had seen Raghav making his own changes in the party-scene. The night was about Raghav's punishment-kiss to Kalpana for going on dinner with Prem plus Raghav's formal attitude towards Kalpana.But the evening too had its share of thrills.
That weekend was Pakhya's Birthday and Kalpana wanted to make it memorable for her brother. She had requested Prem to accompany and help her whilst she shops for an appropriate gift for Pakhya. Kalpi wanted a boy's opinion while purchasing the gift and in present circumstances Prem was the only one she could think of. She didn't dare to approach Raghav, first going anywhere with Raghav meant having tough-looking security guards walking neck-to-neck with them. Second, Raghav Singhania was way too big a name to not cause a mini-typhoon in any shopping mall she'd go with him. Last but not the least, Kalpi had developed a severe consciousness and awareness of Raghav's closeness with herself. Without making a fool of herself and putting herself through another strong inner batte, Kalpi couldn't take Raghav with him. Thus, Kalpi's conclusion had suggested her Prem Kapoor's name. But as luck would have it, Raghav had overheard Kalpi's request to Prem.
By evening, as per plan Kalpana and Prem had requested Mr.Roy and shot for the rest of their scenes at the earliest. Both of them were planning an early pack-up, going for shopping; and then parting ways for two hours before they met for dinner again. Raghav had observed everything silently without objecting on anything. Kalpana too had been happy that Raghav possibly woudn't do anything else.But she was in for a not-so-shocking surprise.
Prem and Kalpana were laughing and talking with each other, on their way out as they grabbed their respective bags. It was then Kalpi had heard Raghav's familiar voice "I am sorry to ruin your plans Kalpi, but you cannot leave for shopping now" he'd supplied very casually to Kalpi. Frowning Kalpi had opened her mouth to complain when Raghav had shown his palm to her "I know, I know what you're saying. But it's not my fault. Something urgent has come up in office and I want you to have a look at it. Meet me in my van". Raghav had commanded Kalpana, turned and walked away to his van. Prem and Kalpana had no option but to postpone their plans, Prem had shrugged and hugged Kalpi. "It's okay, I understand. Work comes first and this is for your bright future. I'll accompany you some other day,okay?" Prem had said and kissed Kalpi on her forehead. He'd then left early for his home and Kalpi had started walking towards Raghav's van with fearful steps.
Raghav had before entering his van, observed Prem and Kalpana's interaction from afar, stepped inside his van and slammed its door shut. When Kalpana had went inside the van to meet Raghav, he'd raised his naughty gaze up to meet Kalpi's. Then without a warning pulled Kalpana on to him, as he himself lay down on the couch inside.He'd enveloped Kalpi's delicate frame protectively in his arms and kissed Kalpi possessively. It was after their breathless kiss and allowing themselves to become normal that Raghav had kept his forhead on Kalpana's before whispering, "Let's go back to office-work now."
Now Raghav chuckled with that memory, as Sammy kept a hand on his shoulder bringing Raghav out of his thoughts. "Raghav? Where are you lost?" Sammy asked.
"Nothing" Raghav said smirking "let me rectify you once. I'd not seen Prem and Kalpana shopping together, I'd seen them planning to go for shopping together; almost ready to leave. But I didn't let them." Raghav winked at Sammy who watched him mouth agape.
"But, Mr.Roy had told me that Kalpi left early with Prem for her brother's Birthday preparations. I thought you saw them together somewhere, as Gauri Aunty also had told you to take her shopping today?"Sammy said. Raghav looked on amusingly at his friend, "Sam" he said "only Kalpi & Prem had requested to leave early. Not me, how could I?"
"Oh, sorry", "My fault, I thought you were deliberately stalking your Juliet, ha ha ha. Keeping a check on her whereabouts with your competitor"Sammy doubled up laughing at his own thoughts. But to his surprise, Raghav too chuckled at this. He uttered in a low voice "I did that, but at night" and winked at Sammy.
"Hmm, so I was right. You did keep a check on Kalpana's whereabouts. After all, nothing is impossible for the RS!" Sammy said with a shake of his head.
"Ya, kind of" Raghav sheepishly admitted. "And before you say anything, I'll say it myself. I am beginning to believe you..." Raghav told Sammy, who smiled at the slowly dawning awareness within his friend. But the joy transofmed into confusion when he heard next words of Raghav and hearing his now serious tone "But, I don't have the right to rule her life. I only have the right to care for what she wants." Sammy perplexed and worried prayed to God, that Raghav realizes his true emotions at the earliest, and happiness once again knocks Raghav and Kalpi's door. Even though he was seeing a lost look on Raghav's face this moment, but he knew that day wasn't too far when that happens.
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Both mother-daughter were sitting facing each other and shedding tears together. Kamla looked on with dismay at her daughter. She couldn't believe that her intelligent daughter had lived all these years believing the worst about Raghav. Her daughter whose maturity was always way ahead her age, who possessed an analytical and sharp mind, she could think or act like this was indeed an unplesant surprise to Kamla.
Worst of all, her daughter had undergone so much emotional pain, turmoil, separation from that one person who Kamla knew after herself & Pakhya, cared for Kalpana's protection the most in the world-Raghav. Kalpi had given so much pain to herself, and her son like favourite student. Kamla's heart cried for her two children. Now Kamla could understand the reason behind the slight stubbornness in Raghav's eyes eight years ago and now. Kamla had seen it; he exuded determination, especially when Kamla caught him watching Kalpana. Now, she knew that was because Raghav wanted to show his innocence to Kalpana at any cost. He wanted his old friend back, even if that meant fighting with her.
For a few minutes, Kamla's heart, mind and senses had become numb. When she thought of what could have been the consequences had there been some other innocent boy in Raghav's place? Some other boy might have taken revenge for being insulted in front of all, for a crime he hadn't committed. Thankfully it was Raghav, who Kamla knew was too used to protecting Kalpna, even from himself. Even in his anger Raghav wouldn't commit any damage to Kalpana's soul or body.
The instant Kalpi had narrated the whole truth to Kamla, she'd first hugged her crying daughter close to her. Stroking Kalpi's hair, Kamla had let Kalpi become normal. Kalpi had cried and cried for infinite moments in her mother's embrace and finally she'd laid her head in Kamla's lap. The pain which Kalpi had hidden inside her all these years, the pain of losing her idol, her role-model; the pain of thinking Raghav was not befitting to be called an idol; the pain of betrayal; the pain of yearning to see him, which Kalpi hadn't shared with anyone till date; the pain of liking their first kiss; and then pain of yearning to feel him again; the pain of losing herself in Raghav after she met him again; the pain of missing her old friend; and finally the pain of confusion as to her feelings for Raghav. Kalpi cried for all this and more, and after her sobs had died down, Kamla had said "Oh my child, you suffered so much and you allowed so much sufferance to Raghav also. What did you do Kalpi, what did you do?"
Kalpi had looked at Kamla in bewilderment. "But Aai, that day Nisha...and if not her I myself had heard Raghav talking about throwing myself out of the group and then holding that other dress" in her heart Kalpi wished that she was not wrong eight years ago. She was still afraid to face the truth.
"Baby, did you hear Raghav taking your name? Did you confront him; question Raghav why was he doing this to you?" Kamla asked Kalpi, hoping to put some sense in her daughter. She saw Kalpi's eyes becoming wide with realization; Kalpi remained silent for long minutes. Then the tears started flowing down her cheeks and Kamla too was crying by then. "N, no Aai" Kalpi had stuttered, then gathered courage again "B,but that doesn't mean Raghav wasn't wrong?" Kalpi questioned Kamla. Kamla had given a sad smile and whispered "That doesn't prove he was the culprit either. Neither did you see any scissor in his hands."
"You and Raghav shared a common childhood, you had a trusting past with each other. Even if he was wrong, you should have listened to Raghav's side once Kalpi!" "But, it's okay. Maybe you were too scared then, of your new feelings for Raghav. Believe it or not Kalpi my child, the person who can take away the light and shine from your eyes with him, he is the one you love more than your life. And you hurt that person and yourself both. But see, destiny has given you another chance to find the truth" Kamla said.
"Go find the truth Kalpi, within you; and find proofs if you want for what he did or he didn't do. I promise to you, if Raghav in fact did this to you. I will punish my son with my own hands, by breaking every relation with him. But if you're wrong Kalpi...I will pray to God, that he gives you immense strength to face and bear the truth. Start by asking yourself and your memories do you really believe in Raghav's crime?" Kamla told Kalpi. Kalpi was listening to her mother intently and in that instant she realized that she has to face her mother's words at least. She cannot run away any longer, she has to reach somewhere to put all this turmoil at a final rest. "Maybe Aai is right; Raghav cannot do this with me. He had never wronged me" Kalpi's heart whispered to her mind. She closed her eyes to calm down her frightened senses, trying not to go into the refusal mode again.
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That night even Sapna was unable to sleep soundly.She was upset, angry and worried. So much delay had happened in their next plan of action and she still didn't know when they would be able to implement it. She was worried for Kalpi and also Raghav, Sapna had seen Kalpi trying to make a wall around herself when it came to Raghav. Though being her best friend, Sapna knew the reason behind it very well.
But she also knew that without that important next step, the acceptance of Kalpi's real feelings for Raghav would only be delayed more. Sapna didn't want that, thinking so she sent a message to someone "I want to meet you. Tell me when and where."
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction using characters from the show "Ek Mutthi Aasmaan" on "Zee TV". The characters are owned by creators and owners of the show.
PART-23
Pyaar Kii Ye Ek Kahaani
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
