FF: Unloved (Complete) - Page 34

It had been two weeks since Rehaan's birthday. In those two weeks, Parvati and Rudra and unknowingly gotten closer. Since the midterm examination for Sengupta's class was over, there wasn't a need for them to meet up and study together, yet they still did. Sometimes they didn't even study. There were days when they met up and just sat around campus, waiting for their next classes to start. Word spread around campus, and students began questioning their relationship. Some claimed that they were just friends, while others believed that they were seeing each other. However, none of these rumors and gossip reached the ears of Parvati and Rudra, who seemed to be in their own little world.

Rudra opened up more to Parvati. He told her about his life, from his childhood to his dream of joining the BSD like his father. Even though Parvati didn't disclose much about herself, she listened intently to everything Rudra said, hanging on every word as he spoke with such vigor and passion. Rudra didn't care what he talked about with her as long as he was with her. He was still as confused as ever about his feelings for her, especially after his conversations with Mala and mami-sa. However, Rudra refused to search for answers, at least not yet anyways. There was still so much about Parvati he had to learn, and until he did, he kept his emotions at bay. For now, spending time with her was all he needed. So they would spend their time together, and in that time Rudra would talk about the most random things, and she would listen to it all.

The one thing he loved was her reactions. Every emotion had run across her face at one point during their conversations. Parvati would smile when he talked about his childhood, and she would frown when he told a sad story. She'd gaze at him curiously when he left the story on a cliffhanger. Rudra tried to tell funny stories, stories that would get her to smile, because she seemed to do that more with him, even if it was half-heartedly. He tried everything in his power to get her to laugh, because when she did, he felt everything in his world fall into place. Even he himself didn't understand what he was going on in his heart.

Parvati, too, felt the change between them. She enjoyed spending time with Rudra because he was, in a sense, her only real friend. His presence somehow made her feel...better. She liked hearing his stories. He had a way with words that always left her amazed and always wanting to hear more. In the two weeks after Rehaan's birthday, Parvati learned practically everything about Rudra. There was nothing that he had kept hidden from her, and he had told her so. His life was like an open book, and he didn't believe in secrets amongst friends. Parvati thought long and hard about those words. He had told her so much, and he barely knew anything about her. With each passing day, she felt more and more guilty. She began feeling that she should tell him about her past. He had already told her the good and bad in his life. He trusted her, and she trusted him, didn't she? Why couldn't she do the same and tell him everything? Deep down, though, she knew it wasn't that simple. Nothing in her life was.

One fall afternoon, Parvati and Rudra were sitting on the grass. The leaves had finally finished changing color from the poignant green to warm orange and red. A few fell around them, and one even landed on the shoulder of his tan leather jacket, which he casually looked at before brushing it off. Rudra sat with his knees to his chest, his books in a pile alongside Parvati's. She was sitting adjacent to him, dressed in soft yellow long sleeve salwar. She just finished loosely braiding her hair before resting in on one side of her face. Rudra was telling some story, as usual, but stopped suddenly as he noticed the lost look on Parvati's face. Normally, she would be watching him, listening to his every word, but today something was different. He knew something was on her mind, and he was determined to find out what.

"Paro," he said.

She broke out of her trance and looked at him, "Yes?"

"Where are you lost? Did you hear anything I said?"

"Yes. Woh...I-."

"Really? What was I talking about?"

Parvati looked down, flustered and unable to answer.

Rudra nodded casually, "So what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You know you can't lie to me."

She looked at him.

"I know you well enough to know when you're hiding something."

How could she explain to him that she was fighting with herself? How could she tell Rudra that she wanted to tell him about her past, but she was afraid to? She wished he wasn't so open with her because it only made her feel guilty that she wasn't honest with him. Parvati didn't know why, but it really bothered her that she couldn't tell him everything. It seemed that the conflict was visible on her face because Rudra's calm demeanor changed into that of someone serious.

"It's about your past again isn't it?" he said firmly.

She looked at him. As the flicker of pain flashed in her eyes, Rudra understood he was right.

He took a deep breath then said, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Woh...Rudra...I," Parvati didn't know what to say. Should she tell him? What would he think of her if he knew? Would it change the way he looked at her? Would she lose him? For reasons unknown to her, that last mental question scared her, mainly because she was afraid of the answer.

"If you don't want to talk about it you don't have to. I told you before, you can tell me when you're ready."

"It isn't that I don't want to tell you, Rudra."

He looked at her surprised, "So you do want to tell me?"

Parvati looked down at her hands in her lap, "It's not that I don't. I do, but I don't. I mean...I just...where do I...you...and..."

Rudra watched as Parvati tried to find her words. As much as he wanted to know about her past, he could see how trying to talk about it was hard for her. This was obviously something that had been bothering her for a couple days, but it seemed to be surfacing now. She was struggling, with what, he wasn't sure exactly, but he didn't want to see her like this. Parvati fiddled with her fingers as hesitant words such as woh' and um' continued to come from her. It was when he saw the small glimmer of the tear in the corner of her eye that made him stiffen. That was it. He needed to get her mind off of this. Rudra didn't want her to think about her past when there was so much in her future to look forward to. He had to figure out a way to get her to forget about this, even for the moment, but what? An idea suddenly struck him.

He put his hand on her shoulder, "You should come to my place again."

Parvati looked at him surprised, "What?"

"Yeah. Maa-sa has been asking about you. She wants to see you again."

"She does?"

"Oh yeah. She is always asking me How is Parvati' or Do you still talk to her' or I miss her. I wonder if she will come again'. Either way, she wants to see you and she won't leave me alone until you come over again."

Parvati gave a small smile, "I would like to see her again too."

"So it's settled. We'll go to my home after class."

"Are you sure? I don't want to intrude."

"Trust me. You are not. My maa-sa will be happy to see you."

~

Mala was in the kitchen, preparing a dinner of aloo sabzi and roti. She had just started cooking, and placed the uncooked potatoes in the pot along with her special array of spices. Immediately, the aroma protruded and spread throughout the entire home. That was the magic of her cooking. Whenever she added the spices, the aroma would fill the house, beckoning all the inhabitants to come and take a peek at the delicious delicacies she was making. And today was no different. As if on cue, Dilsher came strolling in to see what was cooking, only to find his favorite dish being prepared.

"You know I am going to have to do extra training to make sure I stay in shape," Dilsher joked as he glanced inside the pot. "The BSD doesn't stand for out of shape soldiers."

"Well they say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach," Mala replied. "It seems I have won you over."

"You won me over even before you cooked for me."

Mala smiled. Dilsher stood near her and watched her cook. Even after all these years, he enjoyed being in her company. Even if they didn't speak, he just liked being near her. Their moment was interrupted by a coughing sound. They looked up and found Rudra standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Rudra, when did you get home?" Mala asked.

"Just now," he replied. "I knew by the smell in the house that you and bapu-sa were in the kitchen."

"Well your maa-sa is making aloo sabzi," Dilsher defended himself. "How can ignore that delicious smell?"

Rudra chuckled before asking, "Do we have enough for one more?"

"Of course we have plenty," Mala said curiously. "Why?"

"I invited someone."

"Who?"

Rudra moved forward and to the side to reveal Parvati standing behind him. She looked at Mala and Dilsher, who stared back at her surprised, and smiled nervously. She fiddled with the edge of her dupatta, waiting to gauge the reaction of the Ranawats. After the immediate shock wore off, Mala grinned from ear to ear as she looked back and forth between Rudra and Parvati. She had been nagging her son for days about Parvati, wondering how she was and if she would come visit again. Mala had really enjoyed her company that one day, and wished to spend more time with her. Now that Parvati was here again, she couldn't be happier.

"Parvati?!" Mala exclaimed excitedly.

She reduced the heat on the stove and walked over to Parvati, who took a few steps forward. She touched Rudra's mother's feet, but was quickly pulled back up and into an embrace. Mala hugged her as if she were her own child, and Parvati was overwhelmed by the gesture. When she pulled out of the embrace, Mala held her face lovingly.

"How are you?" she asked. "It is so good to see you again."

"I am fine," Parvati replied. "I am glad to see you too. Truly."

"I can't tell you how happy I am that you are here. Since you left, I felt that there was something missing in this house."

"Way to lay on the dramatic dialogue, maa-sa," Rudra mumbled softly.

Parvati choked down the lump in her throat, "Mala aunty, I-."

Dilsher interrupted, "Don't worry Parvati. She has been asking about you since the day you left."

Parvati smiled and went to touch Dilsher's feet. As she stood up, he smirked and patted her head. Rudra watched his parents make Parvati feel at home. No one would believe that they had only met once before. They treated her as if they had known her for years, and it made Rudra happy seeing Parvati feel so at home. It warmed his heart as it seemed like she was meant to be there with them. The thought made him smile to himself, but he didn't realize it until Dilsher came over and placed a hand on his shoulder. He looked at his father, who gazed at him curiously, silently questioning the reason for the smile on his son's face. Shaking his head, Rudra and Dilsher left the kitchen and went into the main living area, leaving the women to chat amongst themselves.

Mala continued to cook dinner and prepared tea for the four of them, while Parvati stood by and talked with her. She didn't know what it was about this older woman, but she always made Parvati want to open up to her. Now she knew where Rudra had gotten it from. She began telling her about the children at the orphanage, and the birthday party that Rudra had attended. Parvati even suggested that Mala come visit as she knew the children would love her. Mala remembered how Rudra had once said that Parvati didn't allow many people to come to the orphanage, and if she did it meant she trusted them. Knowing that she trusted her made Mala happy. She promised that she would definitely try to come one day soon. This brought a hopeful smile on Paro's face.

"Will you really try to come?" she asked once again.

"Of course," Mala assured her. "You are asking me. How can I deny you?"

Parvati smiled, flashing her pearly white teeth. Mala stared at her, her own smiling fading. She stepped towards the young woman as the conversation between her and her son ran through her mind. She wondered what this innocent soul had gone through that had left her so distant. Even now, as Paro smiled, Mala could see the hesitation, the lack of sparkle in her eyes that all girls had when they were happy. In the short time they had known each other, Mala had become attached to the girl in front of her, and seeing this emotion, or lack of, was disturbing her terribly. Yet, she couldn't even confront Parvati about this. Why was this so complicated?

"Mala aunty, are you alright?" Parvati asked concernedly, seeing the serious look on Mala's face.

She quickly came out of her thoughts and composed herself, "Yes. I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she paused before looking right into Parvati's eyes. "You know, Parvati, there is a part of me that feels like I have known you for years."

"I feel the same way."

"If you really do, then remember this: you will always have a place here, in this home. If Rudra trusts you, then so do I. If there is ever anything you need, or if anything is ever wrong, do not hesitate to come to me."

Parvati opened her mouth to speak, but found herself unable to. She quickly looked down at her feet to compose herself, and to stop the tears that were threatening to fall at any second. Mala didn't know it, but what she had said hit Parvati, hard. This woman in front of her, who was assuring her that she would be there for her, was treating Parvati as though she were her own daughter rather than just a friend of her son's. The Ranawats had been nothing but nice to her, and they didn't even know anything about her. What was it about them all that made them trust her so much? What was it about them that made her feel like she belonged? More importantly, how long would this continue? A part of Parvati felt that she should tell them everything in hopes that nothing would change. But then a part of her was selfish and wanted to keep the other half of her life a secret so she could continue to receive this kindness and tenderness, in case that, after knowing the truth, they would ostracize her.

When she was sure that her tears would remain at bay, Parvati plastered on a smile and looked back at Mala, "I won't take your trust for granted. And aunty, if you feel this way towards me, then know that I feel the same towards you. Know that I will never forget the kindness you have showered on me since I've met you, and if there is ever anything I can do for you, just name it. I will do it, no questions asked."

Mala took in the seriousness with which she spoke those words. She hoped that what she had said would remain with Parvati and that, if she decided not to disclose her past with Rudra, then maybe she would want to with her. She didn't expect such a well-thought out response from Parvati, though. It made her realize how much a small act of tenderness could mean nothing to one person, but the whole world to another. Mala smiled. Parvati truly was different. It was no wonder her son was head over heels in love with her...if only he'd realize it! Mala turned back to the stove and poured the tea into four cups and set it on a tray. But before she could exit the kitchen, Parvati stopped her from proceeding forward, surprising her.

"I will take it," she offered.

"Oh no I can't let you do that," Mala said. "You're a guest."

"First you treat me like your own and then you say I am a guest. This is not right."

"Alright you can take it to them. And tell them that dinner will be ready soon."

Parvati nodded, took the tray, and went into the living room. As she placed the tray on the coffee table, she found Rudra and Dilsher sitting in chairs opposite of each other. A chess board was laying on the table in front of them. They both hadn't noticed her arrival, which allowed her to silently observe the father-son duo. She walked over and knelt down by the table, looking back and forth between the two.

Rudra leaned back and crossed his arms, "Give it up bapu-sa. I have you trapped."

"It's not over until it's over," Dilsher stated as he leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees as he stared at the board.

"Checkmate in three."

"Will you let me think for a moment?"

Rudra smirked, knowing he was getting to his father. He enjoyed throwing him off his game. Dilsher continued to stare at the board, wondering what his next move should be. From his standpoint, it looked like Rudra would win, but he didn't want to admit it, not just yet. Parvati watched the two of them for a few more moments before looking at the board, contemplatively.

"Umm," Parvati said softly.

Rudra looked at her, surprised that she was there. He didn't even realize when she arrived. Parvati looked at him, then at Dilsher, before she leaned forward at moved one of Dilsher's chess pieces. He looked at her, then at his father, then at the board, not believing what just happened. Dilsher, too, looked from Rudra, to Parvati, then to the board before grinning.

"Umm, checkmate on Rudra," Parvati said.

Dilsher clapped his hands together and laughed heartily, "Ha! Checkmate!"

Rudra pointed at his father accusingly and said, "That's not fair! Paro helped you! That's cheating!"

"No it's not."

"Yes it is. I demand a do-over!"

"There are no do-overs in chess! You lost!"

The three of them stood up. Dilsher hugged Parvati, who hugged him back.

"Thank you for helping me win," Dilsher said. "If I had lost, Rudra wouldn't let me hear the end of it."

"It wasn't helping, it was cheating," Rudra mumbled under his breath.

"I don't think that was cheating," Paro said. "If anything it was just a suggestion."

"A suggestion that helped me win. Better luck next time Rudradev."

Dilsher laughed. Rudra wanted to protest, but stopped seeing the look on Parvati's face. She was looking at Dilsher, smiling and laughing as he patted her cheek tenderly. He watched as his father pulled her in for another hug, not missing the way Parvati closed her eyes, taking in the warmth of what might have been the first form of fatherly affection she had ever received. The affectionate look that Dilsher gave Paro was something that he could see she desperately craved for. And now that she was getting it, Rudra didn't want to ruin the moment by complaining. So he let his father win this round, because he knew that seeing the smile on Paro's face was enough to make him feel like he had won something greater.