This is for Jigna_07 as she pm'd me asking when I was posting another one. I still haven't finished the one before this, but I had a page of this written a while back. Since I wrote half of this last night and some today, haven't had chance to edit so excuse mistakes. Do give good and bad criticisms. I love Jane Arden singing this song, its so poignant the way she sings it.
At Seventeen
Jann Arden - At Seventeen lyrics
I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired.
The valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
Were spent on ones more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth.
And those of us with ravaged faces
Lacking in the social graces
Desperately remained at home
Inventing lovers on the phone
Who called to say come dance with me
And murmured vague obscenities
It isn't all it seems
At seventeen.
A brown eyed girl in hand me downs
Whose name I never could pronounce
Said, Pity please the ones who serve
They only get what they deserve.
The rich relationed hometown queen
Married into what she needs
A guarantee of company
And haven for the elderly.
Remember those who win the game
Lose the love they sought to gain
Indebentures of quality
And dubious integrity.
Their small town eyes will gape at you
In dull surprise when payment due
Exceeds accounts received
At seventeen.
To those of us who know the pain
Of valentines that never came,
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball.
It was long ago and far away
The world was younger than today
And dreams were all they gave for free
To ugly duckling girls like me.
We all play the game and when we dare
To cheat ourselves at solitaire
Inventing lovers on the phone
Repenting other lives unknown
That call and say, come dance with me
And murmur vague obscenities
At ugly girls like me
At seventeen
"Maa app araam karo, mei pauncha doongi. Dekho mei issi dabba mei pack kiye hai aur Pushkar bhaiya abhi riksha lei aaite hai." The girl sat her mother on the bed and made sure she lay down before leaving her room.
"Bani sun zaara. Dekho achi tara masi ke haath mei hi dena."
"Ha maa mujhe maloom hai." She looked in the mirror to make sure her she looked decent.
Pushkar stopped his rickshaw in front of the Walia Mansion. He had been a few times before so he had got used to seeing the majectic white haveli with lush lawns and fountains but Bani gaped at the sight in front of her. Pushkar nudged her, "Bani, close your mouth and chaal jaldi kaar. Pick up the boxes and get them delivered.'
Bani quickly grabbed couple of boxes and handed them to Pushkar whilst she picked up the rest. The guard at the gates let them in, recognizing Pushkar from earlier deliveries. He asked Pushkar, "Aaj Kiranji nahi aaye?"
"Who unki tabiyaat theek nahi, yeh unki beti Bani hai." Pushkar moved ahead quickly as Bani almost ran to keep up with him.
"Pushkar don't walk so fast. These boxes are heavy for me." Bani quipped.
Pushkar stopped for her to catch up and they walked up to the large teak doors. Press the bell they waited for the door to open. The butler opened the door and let them in and asked them wait while he called maasi. As they waited Bani's eyes flitted over the rich and elegant dcor of the hall and the room that could be seen ahead. A young woman collided with Bani as she rushed past her shouting, "Jai hurry up, we will be late."
She looked Pushkar and Bani up and down disdainfully noting there well worn clothes and faces that showed they had never stepped inside a beauty salon.
Noting Bani staring at her, she shouted, "What are you looking at? Don't you have manners? And why are you standing here, Tony…" The butler came running and looked at Roshni, "Yes maam."
Pointing at Bani and Pushkar she screamed, "why are they standing here Tony? Take them in the kitchen."
Tony flustered, said, "They are waiting for maasi. They have come to order the mithai, maasi has ordered for the puja tomorrow."
Just then an elderly lady looking elegant in a silk sari came rushing towards them, "Pushkar, thank you. Kiran nahi aiyee?" she asked as she handed the boxes to Tony.
Bani looked at the friendly face and responded, "Maa bimaar hai, iss liye aaj nahi aa saki."
Masi looked at the good-looking young girl in front of her. "Naam kya hai beta?" she asked.
"Ji Bani, mei Kiran ki beti." Bani beamed her a smile and touched her feet.
Masi put her hand on Bani's head in blessing and said, "Wait here, mei abhi aaye."
As she walked back masi looked at the young man coming down the stairs, "Jai bahar jaa raha hai, dere maat aana, kaal subah puja hai."
"Jee masi," the young man hugged her and came towards Roshni who eyes were still on Pushkar and Bani.
Jai came and hugged Roshni and taking her hand, "shall we?"
They walked past Pushkar and Bani. Bani stared at Jai, she had never seen anyone so handsome…the designer jeans and t-shirt emphasized his sculpted body and the jet black hair, gelled back. Roshni snickered as she saw Bani gaping at Jai, she nudged Jai and said in loud whisper, "Did you see her, and her dress is not even decent enough to be used as rags and all that greasy hair in braids. Who braids their hair these days?"
Jai's hushed voice could be heard, "stop it Roshni, they can hear you."
"So what let them hear…the girl was oogling at you." Roshni laughed out loud as they went through the door. Jai turned and looked at Bani and shrugged his shoulders and smiled apologetically.
Bani's face turned red and she looked at Pushkar, who looked nonchalant, disregarding Roshni's words. He was used to them, heard them too many times whenever he encountered people who had plenty of money but no regards for the others. Bani on the other hand looked at salwar, suddenly she noticed how faded and unstylished it looked. At school there were plenty of girls like her, girls from working class family where money was spent on paying school fees rather than on fashionable clothes and haircuts. Girls who went home helped their mother cook, clean and help take care of siblings. There were no going out to restaurants to eat or to parties but weddings in the chawls and religious festivals when the neighbours got together to celebrate.
Maasi returned and gave money to Bani and a small packet, "this is for you Bani, tofah meri taraaf se, aaj tera janam din haina. Kiran boli thi satra saal. Almost a young woman Bani."
Bani shyly accepted the gift and thanked her before leaving with Pushkar. As she sat down in the ricksaw, Pushkar turned to her and said, "well, aren't you going to open and see what she gave you?"
Bani looked at the packet and said, "No I will wait till I get home and open it with maa."
When they reached home, Bani went straight to her mum's room and put the money in almari. She came and sat next to her mother and asked, "How are you maa?"
"mei theek hoon. Masi ko mithai de ayee." Kiran asked.
"Haan maa aur masi ne muhje yai tofah diya dekho." Bani carefully opened the packet and opened the small box to reveal a pair of silver jhumkas with intricate design. She held them to her ear and asked, "maa kaise hai."
Kiran looked at the earrings and said, "bahut sundar. Chaal rakhde almari meh aur thodi chai banade. Papa abhi ayenge."
XXXXX
AD looked at the young woman in salwaar khameez sitting in front of her. She was here for the project management assistant position he was interviewing for. Most of the candidates had walked in dressed in business attire, even the girls in short skirts and tight fitting blouses with styled hair and makeup. He glanced at her certificates and noted she had recently completed her MBA from Pune University and she graduated top of her class. He smiled at her and spoke, "You have excellent credentials Bani, do you have a career plan? This is a very junior position."
Bani flashed a shy smile, "I know this is junior position, but I want to start at the bottom and work my way up to a project manager position sir."
AD asked her few more questions and once satisfied she was more than apt for the position he offered her the job. Shaking her hand he told her to report for duty on Monday and ask for Moksh.
As she walked out of the building she felt as if she was floating, fact that she had managed to get a job with such a well-known organization on her first try, filled her with euphoria. She stopped at the mithai shop and bought some of her dad's favourite mithai. Bani went on celebration dinner with few of her close friends and before she knew it the weekend was over.
Monday morning feeling slightly nervous Bani arrived at the office more than half and hour early. The receptionist told her where to go and wait for Moksh. Bani sat and watched a steady stream of men and women walk by, few of them glancing curiously at her. Moksh arrived after 9 AM. The receptionist must have told him about Bani because he rushed up to her and apologized, "I am so sorry Ms Dixit, but sometimes the traffic can be horrendous. Any way let me show you to your office, by the way is it ok if I call you Bani?"
Bani nodded her head as she tried to keep up with his long strides. At over six foot he towered over her but she liked him, he made her feel at ease. Reaching a group of office spaced around a spacious sitting area, he led her into one. The office was small but had window which let in bright sunlight. The desk placed so as the glare of sunrays did not fall on the monitor. Moksh lowered the blinds that had been pulled up to block the glare and turned to her, "I hope you like your office. Why don't you make yourself comfortable and I will be back shortly and run you through the work that is required to be done." Not waiting for her reply he strode out of the office, closing the door softly.
She placed her bag at the side and sat at desk, staring at the screen saver on the pc. Within few minutes Moksh was back with several files in his hands. Pulling a chair next to her he showed her how to log on to the system and then took one of the files and started explaining what she was expected to do. By the time Moksh finished it was close to lunchtime. Walking by the offices he introduced Bani to rest of his team. Rakhi and Pushkar asked Moksh if they could take Bani to the cafeteria for lunch. Moksh asked them to come along as that was where they were headed. Rakhi and Pushkar talked and joked about putting Bani at ease. By the time lunch was over, Bani's apprehension about the job had disappeared.
The weeks flew by as Bani engrossed herself in her work. Rakhi and Pushkar became her close friends. Moksh too was awed with her work ethics and had given her promotion. She worked with him on some of the important projects and was often accompanying him to meetings. Within two years Bani had become project manager and had her own team working exclusively for her. Pushkar had proposed to Raashi and soon they were engaged and married. Bani and her family were invited to sangeet and mehndi functions. On the wedding itself, Bani had dressed up Raashi and did her hair and makeup. Both of them had shed tears whilst getting ready.
It was after Pushkar and Rakhi's wedding, Moksh had announced he was leaving the company to go and work for Walia Group. AD offered Moksh's position of senior manager to Bani. Overwhelmed by the offer, Bani had tears running down her cheeks as she accepted the offer. Never in her wildest dreams had Bani ever thought of reaching her goal so quickly. The new job meant Bani worked closely with AD. There were lot more meetings to attend and working longer hours. The promotion meant more money and Bani used the money to help her father pay her mother's medical bills which were mounting as Kiran was suffering from debilitating arthritis. Her mother needed help with even her personal care and Bani had hired a nurse to come and help her mother.
Within a week of promotion, AD gave Bani a new project to work on. They were going to compete with several top firms for the government contract to construct a series of eco friendly townships away from the large cities which had become overcrowded and were suffering from dilapidation, pollution and becoming prone to health risks. AD told her she would be competing with Moksh who was heading the same project as Walia Group.
Being given such challenge Bani had her team organized to work diligently on coming up with innovative solutions for the project. The idea of building small cities which were eco friendly and provided the inhabitants with clean environment, health care, education and utilities would set the trend for the future construction standards in the country. The deadline for the project was in six months.
As the deadline approached Bani and her team met frequently with AD to finalize the details for presentation. The late hours and stress was showing on the team but the group remained optimistic about winning the contract.
Bani and Pushkar accompanied AD to Delhi were the presentation was to be made. This would be first time Bani had traveled outside of Mumbai on business. AD had booked them in a small but exclusive hotel away from the center of Delhi. On the first night they drove into Delhi to attend the pre conference dinner where they would get to meet the people from rival companies. The hall was already full of people and AD took Bani and Pushkar to meet some of the businessmen he knew. It was much later in the night Bani noticed Moksh walking in with a distinguished looking man and an attractive woman who was clinging on to Moksh's arm.
Moksh made a beeline for Bani as soon as he spied her. Grinning from ear to ear, Moksh hugged Bani as if he had met a long lost friend causing Bani to blush and the woman who stood behind him throw daggers towards Bani. Moksh introduced Jai Walia his boss and Pia his PA. Pia lost no time in insinuating to Bani to keep her hands off Moksh…he was hers. Bani had no romantic notion about Moksh…she had always seen him as brother that she never had and Moksh in his return had always behaved respectfully with Bani.
On the other hand Jai Walia looked with intrigue at Bani, sensing that he had seen her before but could not recall where. He liked the look of her, dressed in a simple black sari with her curls held of her face by a clip. Unlike Pia who was dressed in tight fitting dress and face covered in makeup, Bani stood out like a freshly bloomed rose. The thought disturbed Jai as he never paid much attention to women he came into contact with. Bani nervously shook Jai's hand and smiled shyly. AD approached the group and shook hands with Moksh and Jai. Soon they were engrossed in talk while Bani and Pushkar waited patiently and Pia stood glaring at Moksh, who deliberately chose not to look at Pia.
XXXXX
Next morning AD, Bani and Pushkar went through the project again to reassure themselves of no obvious errors. Sitting behind AD on the stage, Bani and Pushkar sat nervously, glued to the presentation being made. One after the other each seemed to be better than previous. Moksh did the presentation for the Walia Group and he and Jai both answered questions thrown by the attendees…that were answered with ease by both them. Finally AD did their presentation, Bani head swam as AD sailed through the presentation, and her mind seemed to concentrate on the reaction of the people sitting watching the presentation. Afterwards Pushkar had to nudge Bani to bring her attention to the questions being asked as AD looked towards her to give answer to the question. Nervously Bani fielded the question with Pushkar and after initial hesitation she soon became confident as she gave out answers, supporting each with numbers and data as required. AD beamed with pride as the session ended, Bani had met his expectation…she was definitely his company's most valuable asset. He had noticed Moksh looking impressed during the presentation but he couldn't hide his admiration as Bani handled the question with confidently.
Afterwards he came up and offered his congratulations to Bani and invited them for dinner with him and Jai. AD was accepted the invitation and agreed to meet him at restaurant shortly. Bani was conscious of Jai looking at her throughout the dinner. Directing a casual question at her now, he tried to ease her discomfort. AD became aware of Jai's obvious interest in Bani and watched amusedly at the eye locking and Bani's cheeks colouring red. It was quiet late when they left the restaurant for their hotel. AD and Pushkar talked in hushed tone during the drive to the hotel whilst Bani stared out through the window.
As Bani and Pushkar walked to their rooms, he reminded her who Jai was. She gasped at how much he had changed over the years. He was looked even more dashing now, the muscular build enhanced his physical appearance and the jet-black hair was stylishly cut but the gel was missing. The night seemed never ending as Bani struggled to sleep. Her mind replayed the event on her seventeenth birthday when she had first seen him. Gone was the boyish charm to be replaced by an even lethal attraction.
Next morning Bani felt tired as she got ready for their final attendance, today they would find out if AD would win the contract or not. Conference hall was abuzz as everybody impatiently waited for the officials to arrive. It was also the first time Bani noticed AD's nervousness as he sat brushing he kept rubbing the back of his neck every so often. Pin drop silence fell as the officials took seat on the stage. As the chairperson thanked all the participating companies on their effort and expressed apology that they had to make decision and select what they considered the best one. A murmur ran through the audience as he announced they had in fact chosen three projects which would be initially be run as pilot projects and after evaluation on the pilot projects they may consider combining the parts of the project that truly met their expectation. He announced the names of companies…Walia Group, AD Inc and Nirvana Consultants. The hall reverberated with applause and congratulations from people sitting around them. AD was surrounding by a group of well wishers while Bani and Pushkar tried to take in the news of being one of the winning companies.
Hectic afternoon followed after the announcements as media hounded the winners trying to interviews them. The same evening the trio flew back to Mumbai, all three still reveling in winning the project.
Following week AD announced a company party to celebrate wining the coveted project and launched Bani and Pushkar into arranging it as soon as possible. Next two weeks Bani and Pushkar worked with an event management company to organize the party.
The party hall looked exquisite as Bani went over final details with the manager. The blue and gold dcor screamed elegance with even wait staff donning blue bowties. Bani went to change once Pushkar and Rakhi arrived as they had decided one of them should be there as guests started arriving. Rakhi gave gleeful scream as Bani came down looking elegant in a deep pink chiffon sari with gold embroidery and matching jewellery. It was a first time in her life Bani had splurged what she termed an exorbitant amount on clothes. She had shown it to her mother who had helped her shake of guilt by saying to Bani it was reward for all the hard work she had put into the job.
Bani received many admiring glances through out the evening, even AD made her blush as he commented on how lovely she looked. Moksh had arrived with Pia and had sought Bani out to offer congratulations. As two of them fell into discussion Pia strode off in a huff at being ignored. They were engrossed in the talk that both of them did not notice Jai standing near them until he cleared his throat to get their attention. Both of them looked up to see Jai, looking immaculate in a black suit. Bani recognized Roshni who was stood next to him. Roshni stared hard at Bani, her eyes flickered as she recognized her. Bani graciously accepted congratulations from Jai and gave Roshni a smile as Jai gave introduction. After few minutes of casual conversation they left them to meet other guests.
When they where out of earshot, Roshni remarked to Jai, "What a remarkable transformation Jai, who would have thought the girl few years back wearing rags could look so stunning now."
Jai not understanding who Roshni was eluding too asked, "Who are talking about? I don't recall…" Roshni interrupted him, "Bani Dixit…you don't remember Jai. All those years back, she had come to drop mithai that masi had ordered. The guy that was with her was also there too. Back then she wore her hair in braids and had on faded salwaar. In fact she had unabashedly stared at you."
"And I recall you insulting her too." Jai's voice cold as he recalled the event. He felt ashamed now at how Roshni had behaved, in fact she still hadn't changed. He tolerated her as she was a family friend but the hope her becoming anything more had been dashed as he himself had told her, he did not love her and therefore there would no marriage between them. Roshni had taken rebuff silently but still hung around him hoping he will change his mind…Jai wasn't a young man anymore.
Later during the night when Roshni wasn't around, Jai had on a spur of a moment, discreetly taken photo of Bani using his cell phone. On reaching home he downloaded the photo on his laptop and printed a copy out. For a long time he sat and stared at the dark eyes that seemed to sparkle back at him and lips curved into smile felt as if they were beckoning his for caress.
XXXXX
It was a surprise when masi visited Kiran at here home. Seeing Kiran in bed due to ill health, masi admonished herself at not having come before. During their conversation masi casually asked about Bani and asked Kiran when she was going to get married. Kiran sighed and said, "Bani does not listen to us, she refuses saying she wants to take care of us. I don't know. She refuses to see anyone."
Masi told Kiran that her nephew Jai Walia likes Bani and she has come to ask for her hand in marriage. Kiran was overwhelmed and cried saying it would make her happy to say yes but nothing would happen unless Bani said yes.
Masi told Kiran that she would like them all to come over for dinner at the Walia mansion and give an opportunity for Jai and Bani to meet away from work. She will talk to Jai and let him persuade Bani to change her mind.
And so it was on Saturday evening a car from Walia house came to pick up Nishikant, Kiran and Bani. Bani had been unhappy at her mother for accepting the invitation saying that they had nothing in common with the Walias. Her mother in turn had rebuked her for being so uncaring about masi, saying she accepted the invitation, as she did not want to hurt masi's feeling.
Jai and masi were waiting for them as they walked into the mansion. Jai greeted Nishikant and Kiran respectfully while Bani touched masi's feet. The awkward silence that followed was broken by masi telling Jai to show Bani around the house. Jai stood up and watched as Bani reluctantly stood up when Kiran nudged her. She followed behind him as he gave a tour of the house hardly saying anything to the comments Jai made. He stopped in front of his bedroom and said, "and this is my bedroom and opened the door."
Bani looked at him in anger and sharply said, "I don't need to see your bedroom Mr Walia." Jai just smiled indolently at her and said softly, "one day it will be yours too."
Stunned by his words, Bani's eyes blazed, in cold tone she said, "I don't think you are dreaming Mr Walia. You are forgetting our social status…where I belong in society and where you do. Roshni is the one that belongs in your bedroom not me, plus I am not getting married, I have parents to take care off. My mother is almost bedridden with her arthritis." Once she finished she abruptly turned and before walking off said, "I apologize if I have offended you but you should not assume things without thinking it out first."
Dinner was a quiet affair, despite being upset Bani tried to be cheerful, but the older people felt the tension simmering underneath her forced cheerfulness.
Kiran, Nishikant and Bani thanked masi and Jai for their hospitality. Masi hugged Bani and commented on the jhumkas she was wearing suited her. It was then that Bani realized, she was wearing her favourite jhumkas…ones masi had gifted her on her seventeenth birthday. Tears sparkled in her eyes as she looked kindly at the older woman in front of her.
After they went, utterly dejected Jai told masi every word Bani had spoken, including the words Roshni had uttered about Bani when she first came here. Masi consoled Jai and told him not to give up but instead pursuing what he wanted, working hard to woo her the same way he did for his business.
XXXXX
Over the next couple of months Bani found herself inundated with flowers, gifts and letters from Jai. She refused to acknowledge any of it. The gifts and letters remained unopened and flowers were given to the girls at the office or in her neighbourhood. Pushkar and Rakhi teased her mercilessly about it as she refused to divulge name of the guy behind the flowers and gifts.
So it was one day, Jai walked into her office and unceremoniously grabbed her hand pulling her close to him and smirked, " We are going out Bani." Holding her hand he marched out as flushed Bani looked at the floor. Jai shouted to Pushkar, "Pushkar I am taking Bani out, she will be late coming back."
Pushkar and rest of the people in office gawked as two of them walked out. Rakhi was over the moon, her friend was courted by none other than Jai Walia, in fact soon everyone in the office knew about it.
The two occupants of the car sat silently in the car, one fuming at the highhanded behaviour of the other, the other smug at finally having her next to him. Jai glanced at the flushed face of Bani, dared not say anything but just concentrated on getting to the restaurant. He parked the car and opened the door and he waited patiently for her to get out. When she refused to do it, he just quietly said, "Bani get out of the car, I am sure you don't want me to lift you up and carry you in."
The threat worked as Bani got out of the car and stormed off into the restaurant. They were shown into a private room that Jai had specially requested. There was no way he was going to sit out in public and let everyone watch tamasha Bani was sure to incur.
The waiter came and discreetly poured out wine for him and left a glass of juice for Bani.
Jai just sat and watched Bani. She looked anywhere else but him and the silence stretched into minutes. Finally unable to stand his eyes boring into her, Bani looked at him darkly and snapped, "Stop looking at me, I am not some piece of artwork to be stared at."
Jai gave her a heart-stopping smile and drawled, "but you are Bani. You don't know how beautiful you look…eyes blazing, cheeks red and your mouth pouting."
The next thing Jai knew, big tears rolled down Bani's cheeks and she started crying softly. Feeling like a jerk, he stood up and came near her. Hesitating for a moment at whether he should touch her not, he kneeled in front of her and taking hold of her hands, whispered, "Bani I am sorry, please stop crying. Look I will take you back to your office…don't cry anymore. I can't bear to see tears in your eyes."
Bani wiped the tears with the back of her hand and stared at him, "Do you mind getting off the floor, its quiet unbecoming of a CEO of the company to be seen on his knees in front of someone like me." Jai stood up but did not move away, "Bani why do you insist on belittling yourself. I don't recall every saying anything to hurt you. And why this divide between us…if I don't see myself as being upper class or you as middle class, it doesn't matter how rich we are if we don't see other as being a people first."
Slowly pulling her up, he brought her hand to his lips, "I love you so much Bani. I know I am assuming too much but why won't you give me a chance…give me a chance to prove I am worthy of you."
Bani looked at him with intensely and asked, "What about Roshni?"
Jai looked amused, "What about Roshni? Bani I told Roshni a long time ago I was never going to marry her. I only tolerate her because she is a family friend. If ever you do marry me Bani, it will always be you by my side. Roshni will be gone." Still not happy she sat down, "You have to give time to think, I am not rushing into a relationship with you."
Jai came and sat down opposite her and smiled, "Take all the time you won't, just don't keep me at arms length all the while. Oh, by the way I am not looking for a relationship, the offer of marriage still stands."
Bani frowned at him "What offer of marriage?"
Jai answered, "The one masi took to your mother."
Bani blushed, "Ma never told me. I will keep it in mind."
Picking up the menu and looking at it, she peeked over the top at him, "Can we eat before you take me back to the office?"
Jai laughed heartily, "Sure, order whatever you want."
Few hours later, Bani walked into the office and encountered sneaky looks from her colleagues. But she didn't care…all that mattered at the moment was that there was someone in her life who loved her so much.
Thank you to all readers silent and not so silent.
Harry Potter
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
Shiv Shakti
