~My Fantasy World~

It was june when for da 1st tym i went to banglore, it was hot there, actually i went there to learn some traditional music, my dad's childhood frnd mr girish shekher is grt musician so my dad suggestd me to take lesson from him dats y i went there. There mr girish already had arranged house for me so i directly went there, chandar was there to recieve me, quickly i took showed nd was arranging my dressess in almirah,
chandar: "sir do u need smthng?"
me: " yes, can i get some cold water?"
chandar: "sry sir bt there is no fridge in house"
me: "oh, so c if u can arrange ice from somewhere, its hot here i need it"
chandar: "no wry sir, my sister wrk in house which is just beside dis one, there madam is vry gud, she vl surly give"
me: "ok"
and i was again buzy in my wrk where as chandar went to market,
one hour passed, but hottness was same.,. Then i heard knock on door, i was sure it must be chandar back frm market, "door is open come inside" i said while taking apple frm dining table, door sligtly opened, someone came inside, bt i didnt get any response so to check i moved my graze from apple to frnt door, there was a lady clad in yellow cotton sari, her back was facing me, heavy sweat was on her waist her yellow blouse was wet due to sweat nd some of her hair stands were stick on her neck, but who is she nd y is she facing back, but soon i got my answr i was shirtless may b dats y she is facing back, i took towel which was near there nd covered myself,
"now u can turn" i said to her
and she turned, her curls were on her face, eyes coverd wid black kohl, light pink lipstick covering her soft lips, her sari pallu was tugged on her waist giving view of her milky vevlet skin, and sweat was adding more bueaty to her, then my graze fell on her parted hair shining wid red sindoor nd mangalsutra on her neck, feelings and thoughts which were arising inside me was broke into thousand peices, she is married, then i heared she was saying somthng
"chandar told me u need ice," here voice was melodious,
"ya thanks" i said while taking ice frm her soft hands
"umm.. Myself mrs. Taani murthy living next to u" she was giving introduction
"myself reyansh singhania" i was introducing bt she didnt let me complete
"i know, from london, so u r pardesi"
"no im frm delhi, just living in london frm 3yrs" i tried to impress her
"but u looklike greek god, just as pardesi,"
"hmm may b," i was againg saying smthng to her bt, her facial xpression changed, as she heard horn of some car her face looked sacred, she run away frm there, may b dats her husband's car horn, reminding her dat he iz back, bt y she was scared?after our 1st meeting she captured my heart nd mind, in night also i had dearm of her, which was nt ryt, thinking abt a married women is nt least than a crime, bt it was nt in my hand. Next morning, i was sipping my mrng tea nd reading newspaper when i heard some girl child's voice, bt she was nowhere to seen, aftr some hide nd seek i saw her, she was a cute child her, she was saying smthng may b to me only bt i didnt able to undrstand as she was saying in local language which i realy dont knw,
"uncle, she is saying u uncle" i heard taani's voice
"oh, thanx, i didnt knw dis languagd, bt u knw english?" i asked her
"actually i was studied in city colg eng honors so i knw"
"intresting, so u r graduate in eng" i tried to strt conversatn
"no, in mid of my 2nd year i was married so didnt able to complete my graduate" while she was saying sadness was clear on her face, i ignored it nd started playing wid anjali, anjali taani's daughter 5year old...
Anjali was running nd i was trying to catch her, pakdam pakdai, bt due to her sudden sharp turn i collided wid taani which resulted in a slip, she was on ground nd i was abv her, v both were lost in eye contact, bt soon a car horn brought us in da present, we stood up, there i saw, a tall man coming to us, fair in complex, he must b in his 40,
"he is our neighbor" taani told to him
"myself reyansh, came to dis city to learn music," i tried to b normal wid him
"mr. Shekher murthy, taani is my wife," saying dis he holds taani wrist nd was pulling her inside house
"actually i came here to say thanx to ur wife, she gave ice yesterday" i tried to give reason for my visit to his area
"no need, whenevr u want ice plz tk it frm some other place, nd no need to come here again" dis was wt shekher told me in his 1st nd last encounter of banglore
after dat day i tried to maintain a distance frm taani, bt regular i heard voice coming frm her house, in mrng tym swt voice of taani nd anjali was heard, nd in evening ol use to become still, nd at nyt there were sound to fighting nd crying it was regular, i was blaming myself for it, bt soon ended as taani's husband went for some tour, in dat tym period she use to visit my place wid anjali, we three use to play n talk, in dis tym no fear, sadness was seen on taani's face, once taani even invited me on dinner she had made tasty chicken, dat day only she told me dat her beauty is her enemy,
in dat period we became more friendly bt still she is someone's wife, which was making me guilty for my feeling, taani, anjali nd me went to roam dat city, where she told me to take her away frm here, still her wrd is clr in my mind
"rey plz take me nd anjali away frm here, anywhere u vl take us v vl ajdust bt plz tk us away" it was strange to hear
"bt taani ur husband" i tried to say
"u knw wt, he saw me in colg nd married me against my wish, i wntd to study bt my parents married me, nd he, he love me bt beat me daily coz he doubt me dat i hv affair wid all random man, my beauty is my enemy rey plz" she said smhow crying
"bt taani log kya kahenge"
"leave rey, i undrstnd, im married na, here no women can take decision, women cnt live there life wid her choice, i hv to live on my master wish and one day i hv to die according to my master wish, v vl b burdun on u, leave it lets go"
aftr dat day i didnt met her bt her plead to tk her away was hunting me, i was confuse wt to do wt to nt
but one incident forced me to take step, in no tym i had to take dat step which was much risky

Things were very quite the following day. I went for my class (don't forget dat I went Bangalore to learn music). Taani was now staying out of my way. Another day passed and then another. Shekher was back in town. I was worried if he came to know about my visits to his house or about my trip wid his wife and daughter how will he gonna react. I tried to listen sound of their conversation but everything was quite.

I missed her a lot but didn't want her to fall in trouble. But at last I gave up and walked to next door, taani's house

She opened the door, her eyes widening slightly in alarm at seeing me.

"rey! What is it?" she asked

"No, means I ought to be asking you that, right? Why have you gone all silent on me? Your husband isn't around all the time, is he? Was it coz of our conversation at the palace?"

"Well, yes I suppose" she responded

"You are angry that I wouldn't help?" I again asked

"No, not angry. I thought you are right and decent and kind and I didn't want to burden you more and what was point in risking your happiness after that" that was all she said

"And taani, what about risking your safety with your husband?"

"rey im not bothered about that anymore"

"No?" I asked to confirm if she said that

"No..." she replied firmly. "Trying to get out would bring problem only on everyone, especially anjali"

"See taani, I thought a lot, I could take you to Delhi with me, my parent they will help and I will support you until you find your feet, and may be even try to get your visa to England"

She smiled ruefully

"you know wt rey, when I talked to you earlier I thought you will say this"

"well I'm sry I didn't say then, but saying it now"

"rey, its sweet of you, but I didn't want to became dependent on you. Both me and anjali"

"I like anjali, she'd be no trouble, and if you were working in Delhi, you can help her and yourself by own"

"rey, plz go back, shekher will be here for lunch, plz, I don't want you to get in any trouble"

"Ok but think about what I said" while saying that I came back to my place and lay on bed, after sometime stood up and packed my bag to leave Bangalore then I settled in hall, plugged my headphones and started... Listening a long tack..

My door came crashing open. Taani. She holds me like never before. I pulled off my headphones. Her face was red, her eyes wore the wild expression and some blood over her skin and pink cotton sari.

"what's wrong" I cried, letting her go

She fell into my arm, sobbing, her words come tumbling out, between raging sobs, "he... Saw... He saw you... Coming... out of the gate... He was furious..."

I held her by shoulders "what did he do? Where is he?"

She could barely speak now for her sobbing

"he... he... he... he hit me... rey..."

"what! The bloody bastured... Why didn't you call, where is he?"

"I don't know, he hit me, pulled my hair, and... anjali was screaming"

"where is she?"

"in the garden, she's okey now"

"why didn't you call me?" even I asked question but I realized that I would not have heard her over as I have headphone in my ear with blasting sound.

"I was crying... you didn't hear??? He... he threatened me" her voice was breaking up.

"what did he say?"

"my face" she sobbed

I put my hand on her face, cupping her cheeks "what about your face?"

"he said. He would, destroy my face... That.. that was what was causing all problem"

"oh god! is the man mad?"

"yes" sob was uncountable now

"where is he now?" feeling my own heart start to throb in terror.

"I don't know... he rushed out after that.. he'll be back... I have to go"

"no! don't go back"

"I have to... anjali"

My mind was whirling, but I know I had to think fast, had to take some step

"ok go now, get anjali, pack something, you have to get out here"

She looked at me

"go quickly" I said again, my voice was cracking

"you don't know when he'll be back, don't know what he'll do when he gets back. He might take you somewhere else, from where you won't be able to get out, so hurry! Plz"

She turned and run out, I pulled phone and booked tickets. We had to get to Delhi; he would never find us there.

Could he call police? Claim abduction or something?

I will say taani to post note to her parents address. So they know that she had left of her own volition.

I called everyone, airport, my teacher mr girish, cab company and left note for chandar.

I stepped out looked over wall to next door for taani, car was not there, means shekher is not at home.

"oh god! taani, hurry" I thought, meanwhile she also came with anjali and taxi also came.

Anjali greeted me as we settled in taxi.

"airport" I said to driver, and he started up the car.

We left city behind us, we have sigh of relief, anjali was happy a she thought we are going on some trip.

Now everything will be fine, that what I thought.

--

So taani left Bangalore with anjali and me. we arrived Delhi. My mom-dad took good care of taani and anjali, they were given my bedroom next to mum-dad to taani and anjali, while I use guest room upstairs.

Taani was subdued, saying very little and eating frugally, even though dad tried quite hard to joke around to put her at ease. Anjali on other hand, bounced around perfectly happy, she founded her new grandparent's good enough to replace old ones.

Taani seemed to relax as her daughter made herself completely at home, but I noticed she was still trying too hard to make herself useful around the house.

Now t hadto get back to England and my job. Delhi will swallow her up in my absence... so I have to take taani with me.

But I wasn't sure for why I was doing all this for taani? Did I feel something for her? Or just bu humanity? Or I feel taani's my responsibility?

In few months, I completely fallen in love with taani which didn't het unnoticed by mom-dad. I felt she also has some feeling for me. she didn't took an opportunity and used me to get out of her marriage but she was also in love with me... but we couldn't get married ofcouse, but that didn't matter, certainly not to me. my one friend, swayam in England is living with his gf sharon and they are not married.

After some more months, taani and anjali followed me to England.

There taani tried to call her mother and we came to know that taani's father had already done her death rituals as taani is dead for all of them now. Taani was hurt.

Conducting death rites of living human is it that much normal?

Doing death rites for dead, meant to bring peace to soul, and when it's done for living, it is to do very opposite, I believe.

I can't say taani had no peace at all after that, laughter did return to her eyes and I was glad that I was responsible for that.

It was first part of my story perhaps the best one.

Second part of my story, it start two year nine month after we went to England, our life was going all good till one accident. I lost my Taani...

It was nearly after few hours of taani's death; I was sitting in a bar of England and drinking around ninth or tenth... I don't remember exacts no. but drinking my beer. I was trying to forget taani, but still after uncountable no. of beer I can't able to forget her. She is not getting out of my mind; she is all over me,

Why did you have to go and spoil it all, Taani? Just when we were cruising along nicely. What it would be like for you if I went off and had an accident. I thought to myself.

In this two year and nine month we were going well. Everything was going good, falling on place. After coming to England our life went smooth. It took some time to settle but we settled. Firstly my English friends were use to ask me if taani is my wife and that time usually we use to be answerless. We never got married as taani never got divorced. She was still mrs. Taani shekher murthy. But that thing never had any effect on us. Taani accepted me as her life partner, and even anjali started calling me daddy. Taani was working as social worker so she had some friends also. Everything was going ryt until today...

In afternoon as usual I was buzy in my office wid my work when I got a call from one of the officer saying dat my wife met wid an accident. Widin a friction on second my life become nil. From there I directly went to the accident spot, location told by police officer. Front of taani's car was crushed badly it was clear car must be collided wid some heavy vehicle and for person present on driving seat it was impossible to be alive. After watching car condition my heart stopped working I didn't had courage to see taani's body but I had to... I moved forward toward taani's body which was covered wid white sheet. No one can understand how much strength was required to uncover her face.. but somehow I managed. The most beautiful face, for which I felt in love or for which any men can do anything was covered wid blood and small glass pieces. Ahh.. is she taani... same taani with whom yesterday night I was doing romance. In night only I had kissed her lips her cheeks her forehead which was now had covered wid blood. Why it happed why... Why she had to leave, I know she must be buzy in listening one of her fav song of lata mangeshkar and must be lost in my memory bcoz of dat she didn't able to see dat signal turned red and she collided wid another vehicle. Dat means she died coz of me only... and smile on her dead lips were prove of it.

Thinking all about taani I came out of bear bar. I was too much drunk but still conscious enough to not ot forget taani, is it possible to forget her? No, no one can forget his own life. I came to main road where I had parked my car but rather than going in... I kneeled down on road held my head in between my palm and screamed loudly... "taaaniii" and busted out in tear. After some time when I realized im on road I saw people present there glaring at me, it must be another entertainment for them what I felt. One decent lady came to me and asked "my child what happed?" I glared her, she must be thinking stupid of me but I answered her "I lost my darling"

" oh Jesus, have strength love"

"hmm.. ya..." dat's wt I answered and moved into my car...

I was driving and driving... widout any destination... I didn't wanted to go to same place where taani lived... I already left anjali to alisha's place my neighbour and grt friend of taani coz I knew today I can't go to our house. In evening after finishing all formalities to claim taani's body I decided I will also die.. as living widout taani is of no mean. But the I stil have reason to live our anjali... I have to live for anjali. So I dropped my plan to die, but what I'm gonna answer if she will ask for her mom, what I will tell her where her mom went, is she will understand dat her mom will never gonna come again now, dats y I dint faced anjali till now but how long atlast I have to face her I have to tell her. Then what????

Thinking all dat I slept in my car only, car which was parked on a side of some unknown road, and when I waked up in morning it was 4:30am road was silent, I drived to my home and went to bed... but 1stly checked my intercom which had 4voice msg for me. one of my mom telling to call her urgently she must be worried for me as she knows how much I was attached to taani, another call was of my friend swayam who informed he was coming yesterday as he can't leave me alone in such situation, oh god I have to tell him to come later one, then it was of my younger brother vicky's call saying he is caught up wid some office work but he is come to india next week and I must come to india as mom dad is much worried ofr me and he too, the last call was from susan from children's home telling to call her urgently as she had something impotent to talk about anjali. So in morning I have t call all of them one by one.

In morning I firstly called to vicky and told him dat I'll be there in India within a week and he need not to take tension for me. then I called my mom, she was hell worried, even she cried on call but dad, he took call from mom, as he must have undrstood it can make worse for me, I told them also dat I'll come to india soon, but mom told me to visit pramjeet aunty who lives in here in England only as she don't wanna keep me alone so I promised I'll visit their house yet I know how irritating she is but for mom sake I have to. And I dialed swayam, and told him dat I have something to finish today so he must come tomorrow, for which he agreed dat he will gonna come tomorrow evening. And at last I called susan, social worker of children's home, she told she is coming to our house to meet me

and then I got my another shook.

She came and Our conversation was like dis...

"mr singhania, I'm aware that you are not anjali's biological father and I need to ask you whether you have parental responsibility for anjali? She said

"yes, of course, I've felt very respinsible for her since she became a part of my life. I'm her another parent, I suppose' I told her in my low tone

"of course" she replied more gently, "I should have explained better. Parental responsibility would have been granted by a court of law it you had applied for it. Have you any recollection of having done that?"

"no, I don't think so. What does it mean?" I saw her being worried

"well, what it means is, you cant take any decision on anjali's behalf"

"but... I;ve helped... taani.. my partner.."

"I understand, but... see mr singhania.. I'm saying directly... it is not easy for you to take care of anjali alone, so, you don't mind if I take anjali for tonight to children's home, you know she may ask you many ques regarding hr mom, and you may be not able to take her ryt care, so I have to take her. And there is another option"

"and what is dat" I asked her directly

"umm.. she can be sent to foster care"

"no, not foster care, taani was always against dis foster care system, anjali can't live there"

"then mr. singhania, we have to handle her to her biological father.."

"no you can't taani must not liked dis idea either no..."

"you don't have any other choice, her biological father must be informed about it, and it will be his decision whether he will take anjali wid him or you can take anjali's custody from him but we have to inform him"

And rest like dis conversation continued and it ended wid susan taking anjali wid her to children's home, I had to make anjali ready to go wid susan, I only had packed her bag, and my next work was to inform shekher about dis all mess... but how will I get his no. later after searching a lot I got taani's diary in which I got his no. but I didn't had courage to call him so I gave his no. to susan and she called him, how much I wished dat he will say dat he don't wanna come england and he don't wanna take anjali wid him but he all told against to my wish.

"do you know where mr. kapilesh murthy lives" I asked to one random person showing him paper in which I had their address and he guided me to their address, so finally im in Bangalore, for second or you can say last time.

Till da time I reach there I can tell you wt happen when shekher came to England. Miss susan, social worker took anjali with her that perticular day, that whole day I was just in thoughts of taani and anjali... in every corner of our house I can feel my taani.. her smell was present everywhere when I went to kithen... all food stuff and item where there according to taani's choice reminding me every sweet moment which I spent with taani in this kitchen, same as in dining hall, garden area, our rooms everywhere, till late night I was in anjali's room thinking how will I live if shekher took anjali from me... and around 1 at night I came to my room.. oops our room and lied down on bed, same bed where me and taani have uncountable lovemaking moment... we showed love on each other on same bed.,.. not even for a single night taani was away from me.. every time we use to sleep in each other arms only, and today... taani's side was empty giving small heart ach to me, but somehow I managed to sleep.

Next day I had very hectic day, I had already told swayam to come next day as today I took appointment from susan to take anjali somewhere out coz after 2 day shekher will come and then I won't get time to spend with my own daughter.

At correct 9'o clock I was there in child home to take anjali with me, she was already waiting for me as her susan mam had already informed her about my arrival, firstly anjali asked me about her mom... "dadda aunty told me that mom went to somewhere and she will never come is it true?"

"sweetheart, she is always with you, your mom can never leave you can she?" I told her

"dadda we will go to my park first and after that we will pick mamma and will take dinner in my restaurant, and you brought car na? my car?" saying so she run away without waiting for my answer

Her park, adventurous park is her fav. One, and her restaurant, that Italian one which neither I nor taani ever liked, and her car, you that blue one, she already took her place waiting for me to drive.

Whole day we had done full on masti, from her fav. Ride to her candy... how taani was taking her full care how naughty anjali is seriously I realized it today but for me it was great moment I can't risk to lose my daughter after coming to this point. After all masti most embarrassing moment I came through is when she needed washroom and I didn't knew where dat was, but somehow I managed to search it by asking people, but it was too urget for her and that was lil. Far, I held her in my arm and almost run toward washroom, and there another, when I said anjali to go inside in womens washroom and she told me to come inside, I can't say how embarrassing was that, i took her to men washroom, for our luck no one was there, completing our business we fastly went away before anyone can come and misunderstood me for molestrating a girl child in public washroom.

After that we went to her restaurant and had our dinner, after dinner she plead me to take her to our house rather than sending her to children homes but I didn't had any option I had to take her to child home, there with heavy heart she went to her bed leaving me, I again plead to susan to do something so anjali can live with me, but she didn't, I think she also didn't had any other option.

It was 8pm by now and as promised to my mom I had to go to visit paramjeet aunty, when I reached there some party was going there, it was their anniversary party, I felt to leave then only but anuty aught me... I was continuously sad, and people present there must be feeling strange or what I don't know... after having lil. Food there coz aunty forced me, I took my exit, uncle came to drop me till my car...

"listen beta, I'll not say forget all that as I know it is not easy, but loosing yourself is not good, even she didn't will be happy after seeing you, so I know it will take time but never lose yourself" uncle told is very low tone

"it is easy to say, I had lost my love only I knew how much im suffering only I know" I was explaining my pain.

"you know there was a girl whom I also use to love, and I lost her as she was suffering from cancer, after that my world also stopped I also gave up all hopes bt then ur aunty came to my life so.. maybe there is something for you which is already decided so don't lose hope" uncle was saying these thing so normally, I was shocked

"hmm.. I will try" I replied to him and went away from there, all night I was thinking about these things only,

In morning I got call from hospital, I had to do last rite of taani... in early morning I freshened up and went to do rites, these were right of her husband which I had to do, after her death I got some of my right over her, I had done all thing according to taani's wish only, like our Indian culture. I was there till taani turned into ashes, I collected ashes in a jar and came to our home, my next duty was to dump these ashes in India, taani always wanted to be in India only so it is my duty to take her to India now, when I came home swayam and sharon was already there, removing all things which was attached to taani... how I'll tell them dat these things didn't matter, taani is in my heart my soul from where no one can detach her. Swaron took gud care of me dat evening, I needed a support which swayam provided to me, in true sense he was my best buddy, taani me and swaron use to do much fun, she always liked my these two friend, taani had great bonding with swayam but today all these thing was missing.

Next day, after bidding good bye to swaron I directly went to child home, where shekher was already present, he gave me some of the most dangerous looks of his, atlast I took away his wife, I had run away wid her some year back so he was still angry I think so. So I choose not to talk to him. Miss susan 1stly called shekher into her cabin and their meeting went for almost 1hrs, when he came out he had smile on his face I don't know wt happened inside, next was my turn.. I went inside.

When I came out I was broken, shekher had made his choice to take anjali with him, and nothing was in my hand, I saw him sitting on sofa when I came out, against my wish I went to him, coz it was my daughter's life... I cant risk with it..

"plz shekher give anjali's custody to me, she is attached to me, I'll take her good care plz... don't take her with you she is my life" I plead to him

"few year back you took, my wife, my daughter from me, without my permission, when they didn't belonged to you, but in this case anjali belongs to me, taani had got her punishment, now it's your turn, dat time you took everything from me now my taking your life from you, where I was from last 3 year, now you are standing on that place" shekher said all smiling

"for your revenge don't let anjali suffer, she is all settled here let her live here only" I asked again

"im not using anjali to take revenge from you, she is my daughter my own blood, I will take good care of her than you, and make everything ready I'll come to your place to take all anjali belongings, we are leaving in evening only " saying so he moving out

I stood there for few min and went to house, I arranged all belonging of anjali in her suitcase, in evening shekher came and took all things, I also went to airport to see them off, anjali cried hard at departure time, I gave her some gifts, and said shekher to let anjali talk to me every month and not to tell her anything against me or taani, shekher told he will not let anjali think negative of her mom or her uncle that's me.

After two day I also came to India with taani's ash, and now in infront of her mom, who told me how taani's father died two year back and now she is alone. For her, her daughter didn't done anything wrong, it was taani's right to get happiness in her life which she got with me, her mom was also against of sending anjali with shekher but we all didn't had any other choice.

Next day early morning I went to a holy river there and taani's mom and a priest helped me in doing all rites there... ashes of taani was flowing in river, she is getting merge with holy river, I'm alone now, anjali went with her dad and taani... she is also flowing and going away from me. With all pain I turned back to go but felt sharp pain in my heart, it was hard to say what was dat, but I saw world becoming black in front of me.. and pain was unstoppable, I was taani's mother coming to hold me, but I fall down on ground fighting with my pain. And last thing which I heard is her mother saying "their unaccepted relation now world will accept"

This is how after a painful life taarey became one; people who didn't accepted taani nd rey relation had to accept that, and anjali, after some years whenever she see the sky, a star blinks which she knows that's her mom dad, taarey. She knew her mother didn't done anything wrong, she stood for herself her happiness, and it was her father rey who supported her, so only he had right to be called as her father, she is not anjali murthy but anjali singhania. Living her life on her own condition. She is doing whatever she feels right for herself, she is not bounded, she is like a free bird like taani always wanted to be,