Chapter 36: Together
"Wow di this is really good. Did you
always cook this well or has the bland food at the school mess destroyed my
taste buds completely?" Payal gushed, picking up a third parantha.
Khushi glared in mock anger, but then just grinned. Cooking breakfast this
Sunday morning felt like the most normal thing she had done in a long
time.
"Your sister always cooks well, Payal" Arnav smirked
as he picked up another parantha as well and spoke honestly,
wondering why he had never done that before all the other times when Khushi
used to cook at the house , "...but today you've outdone yourself Khushi. I
think I will have to fire HP kaka for feeding me bad food all
these years."
Khushi felt herself inexplicably blush a little at Arnav's
compliment. It felt weird to have him say something so openly nice about her.
Now why would he do that and why was it affecting her like this? She quickly
masked her awkwardness and retorted as she finally joined Payal and Arnav on
the dining table with a fresh batch of paranthas.
"What? HP kaka is amazing and he cooks so well and takes
care of you like a son. You're so ungrateful, Arnavji."
"Di I am going to finish the breakfast in front
of the TV. The cricket match is starting." Payal said as she stood up, to
which Khushi simply nodded. Payal was a total cricket freak, well at least as
long as Virat Kohli was playing.
"You coming, Arnav bhaiya?"
"You go. I have a few things to do. I will join you in half
an hour." Arnav answered Payal who nodded excitedly and left the table.
After a couple of minutes, both Khushi and Arnav spoke up at the
same time.
"Khushi"
"Arnavji"
"You first" Arnav said.
"I was wondering, how's the pain in your injuries? Should
you not get checked out by another doctor?"
"It's okay. It's getting better. I will go next week and
get the stitches removed. The cast is on another two weeks. But it's all ok,
don't worry."
"If you don't mind, can I ask, how did you get so
hurt?"
"Just an accident, I told you. I was trying to get home too
quickly." Arnav lied again, but he didn't want to go into the mess with
the money and the situation with Sultan again. Nothing would come of it now and
it was only going to hurt Khushi.
"I am sorry Arnavji" Khushi said after a minute of
silence.
"For what Khushi? It's not your fault."
"I mean I shouldn't have left before you came back that
day, without informing you."
Arnav shook his head "Khushi, didn't we decide last night
that we are going to try and move ahead from the past? Forget about it. You're
safe. You're here. That's all I want."
Khushi nodded, guilt still tugging at her as somewhere she felt
she was responsible for Arnav's accident. Watching him struggling to eat the parantha with one hand had reminded her
of how much pain he had endured.
"Khushi? Are we good?" Arnav asked, seeing her lost in
thought.
"Yes Arnavji" she replied, recovering.
"Why do you call me Arnavji?"
"What?"
"I mean why Arnav jiii. Should I also call you Khushiji?"
"Umm no."
"Then call me Arnav. We are friends right? Equals. We are
the same. If you call me Arnav ji I am going to call you Khushi
ji." He said with a smile and was relieved when a smile broke out on Khushi's
face too.
He didn't like seeing her anxious and guilty. That's why he had
decided not to tell her too much about the troubles he had gone through to find
her and rescue her. He would tell her whatever she needed to know, of course -
he didn't want to hide the truth from her, but he also didn't want to make her
feel guilty or pained over what was essentially over and couldn't be changed.
"Okay, Arnavji...I mean Arnav"
"Good"
Arnav smiled and nodded as he stood up from the breakfast table.
After the previous night's conversation, Arnav had woken up feeling lighter
than he had in months. Yes, he didn't tell her how he really felt, but he no
longer felt deeply anguished and they had basically agreed to be friends. This
meant he now had a chance of really get to know her as well as let her get to
know him. He knew she liked him and cared for him at least a little bit. Maybe,
this friendship would give her a chance to see him in a new light and consider
him when he finally confessed his feelings. Maybe, this friendship was just
what they needed as a foundation to have a shot at a permanent relationship.
And most importantly, if it never worked out and she would never want him in
the future, at least he would have her friendship. Hell of a lot better than
the emptiness a life entirely without her would be!
Arnav emerged from his room after finishing his calls an hour
later. He glanced at Khushi sitting in her room with an economics textbook and
involuntarily smiled. He had sent the books over to her two days back. Payal
was in the living room, glued to the television. An aura of peace and serenity
hung over the house and Arnav felt unreasonably happy. If there was such a
thing as a perfect life, this right now was definitely at least a trailer of
it. Smiling, he decided not to disturb Khushi and slipped next to Payal on the
couch.
*****
Khushi walked into the living room several hours later and saw Payal
and Arnav enjoying the match together, sharing a bowl of popcorn. Everyone had
over-eaten at breakfast and therefore no one was hungry for lunch. Payal and Arnav
had been cheering and shouting in joy every now and then for hours. Khushi saw
the easy, protective camaraderie shared between the two and felt a tug at her
heart. Arnav was much the same with Payal as he was with Anjali - indulgent and
protective. She had always worried about Payal, but seeing her with Arnav right
now she felt certain that nobody could protect her and care for her more than
that man, not even Khushi herself. He was almost like the father figure Payal
had never had in her life and Khushi had come to understand that Payal had not
just liked and trusted Arnav upon meeting him, she actually instinctively
respected him.
Seeing Khushi walk in, Arnav looked up and smiled at her and for
a second Khushi felt weak in her knees. She had never seen Arnav smile so much
and so easily before without an apparent reason and since this morning he had
been doing exactly that. It was as if she'd met a whole new side of the man,
someone totally far away from the angry, broken, hurt man she had first met
several months ago. This Arnav looked bright, happy and had a smile so alluring
Khushi felt her breath get caught in her throat. Arnav gestured Khushi to join
them. She walked towards them and sat on the couch, but not too close, suddenly
aware of the physical proximity.
At one level, it seemed insane. They had been together and
physically intimate for over three months. In fact, she had abandoned all her
physical and emotional inhibitions with him and done things she couldn't have
ever imagined doing. But that was a different moment. It was about a different Arnav
and a different Khushi that night, wasn't it? She truly believed it was the
last time she'd ever see him and the intensity of that anticipated loss had led
her to want to covet what she had. For once, she wanted to feel alive. For
once, she wanted to know what physical pleasure was actually like and what it
meant to give yourself willingly to someone you truly cared for. She wanted to
have that one night to create a physical memory strong enough to overpower all forced
physical abuse that had preceded and was likely to follow after that night. She
wanted to have one night where she was a woman and a lover, not a wh**e.
But now, suddenly, the darkness around her was gone and as the
traces of her old true self began to return to her, she felt an incredible
shyness. She looked at Arnav, who was glancing at her and Payal every now and
then while still watching the TV, and she felt an odd sort of attraction for
him. His smile made him look all the more attractive. Yes, she had started to
be physically attracted to him at some point a few weeks back. But in the
changed context, the old attraction didn't seem meaningful and this new
nervousness made her extremely self-conscious. Suddenly she worried what their
new equation was going to be like. He said they were friends, but did he still
expect to sleep with her? Some sort of a "friends with benefits"
arrangement? No, that sounded cheap and Arnav wouldn't want to cheapen their
friendship. She wouldn't be comfortable with it and she trusted Arnav to not
force her or hurt her ever in her life.
"Catch it!" Payal screamed at the television. Her arm
accidentally hit the popcorn bowl sending a few pieces flying around.
Khushi wasn't paying attention until she felt Arnav's hand brush
her shoulder over the couch. Startled, she looked up and saw that Arnav had
casually extended his arm behind her. Then, to her inexplicable disappointment,
he pulled it back and Khushi realized he was just picking up a piece of corn
that had fallen behind her. Feeling strange and unnerved at this new awareness,
Khushi shook her head and stood up, wanting to get some clear perspective. Arnav
and she were friends and could never be anything more than that.
"Khushi" Arnav spoke out as soon as Khushi took a
couple of steps away.
"Wait. I need to talk to you." He said as he stood
himself and walked outside the house towards the lawn at the back, gesturing Khushi
to follow and leaving Payal engrossed in the TV.
*****************
"I spoke to Tony earlier today." Arnav said after a
few minutes of silent walking around in the lawn. "He would not come after
you anymore. He has destroyed any pictures he had of you and would not trouble
you or Payal in the future."
Arnav had been relieved to have that conversation with him
earlier in the day when he was reassured that Aman hadn't told him about Arnav
taking Khushi earlier than promised. He just told Tony he had picked up Katrina
himself this morning and was relieved when he didn't go back on his word and
confirmed their earlier agreement about leaving her alone for good. He
half-expected him to ask for more money but Tony said nothing. After that, he
had spoken to his lawyer at length who had confirmed to him that the courts had
accepted the fast track plea of his divorce and the final paperwork reflecting
his divorce status would be released on Monday morning. The lawyer had also
told him there had been no indications of any more threats from Sheetal or
anyone else. NK was still out of country and Sheetal had moved in with Shenoy
in Bangalore. Everything seemed to be settling for good.
Khushi silently looked at Arnav for a few seconds before her
eyes became moist with gratitude.
"Thank you Arnav ji. I mean, thank you Arnav." She
corrected as she saw him frown.
"Khushi, I told you..."
"No Arnav. You have to let me thank you from getting me out
of that hell. You have no idea the horror..."she said, choking on her
words. Arnav wiped the lone tear that spilled out on her cheek and gently held
one of her shoulder.
"...Tony must have asked for a lot of money. I don't know
if I will be ever able to fully pay you back but I promise I will work
and..."Khushi continued, but Arnav cut her off.
"Are you crazy, Khushi? Didn't I tell you last night there
were no debts here? And besides, what does money even mean? I have plenty of
money...all I have done is work hard and make money...and yet, what did money
buy me?" Arnav turned and walked a couple of steps away and continued to
talk while looking in the distance.
"I am the poorest man in the world. All my money did was
take away the illusion of a family that I had. They didn't want me, they just
wanted my money. The woman I worshiped all my life as my mother, the woman I
married...all those relationships, everything just came down to worthless notes
and coins. They just trapped me for money, ignoring every emotion, every shred
of humanity in the world. In her greed, my ex-wife put the lives of 35000 Raizada
Industries employees in jeopardy without even flinching, forcing me into a
situation where I couldn't save them or you without giving into her demands and
giving up everything my father had built. I may have a high net worth, but
in reality I am a worthless man. This world is sick and heartless, Khushi,
trying to reduce every relationship and every human life to a number. The only
reason anyone has pretended to love me, other than my dead parents, has been my
money. You think I have any affection for that money?" Khushi stared
at Arnav as he choked on the truths he had never openly voiced before. Her
tears were now flowing freely as she felt a huge knot twisting her insides
hearing the raw pain in Arnav's voice. She had known a lot of Arnav's past already
from HP, but hearing him talk about it still hit her hard. Besides, his words
hit too close to home for her own comfort, resonating with her own feelings of
being reduced to a number. Not just Tony or Shyam who had sold her for a
profit, her own father had beaten her all her life for money. Deep within her, Khushi
felt a strong urge to hold Arnav in her arms and convince him that he was
anything but worthless. Automatically, her hand went to his shoulder and he
turned around to face her.
"Trust me," he continued, "if any of my money
actually went to save a rare pure and beautiful soul like you, that's the best
use it could have even been put to." Melting with Arnav's words as well as
the moisture in his eyes, Khushi pulled him into an embrace.
"You are not worthless, Arnav. You are a great man." Khushi
murmured as she tightened her grip and rubbed her arm along his back.
She pulled away after a while and wiped the tears off Arnav's
eyes.
"I am not going to demean what you've done for me just by
saying thank you in words. But you have to know you are much more than your
bank balance. You are my guardian angel. You have saved my life, and Payal's.
If I stayed in that hell any longer, if those men continued to..."Arnav
cut her off hearing the shudder in her voice.
"You don't belong there, Khushi. You never did. In fact, no
woman should. I know I am one of those men who..."
"No Arnav"
"No Khushi, it is the truth. I was so lost in my anger over
being betrayed, I don't know I was thinking or doing. Somehow, the night I
found out that my wife had been sleeping with my brother since the first day of
our marriage, I ran into Tony while I was too drunk. He showed me your picture
and before I knew it, I was channeling all my anger on you, trying desperately
to find one moment of peace. I know what I did does not deserve forgiveness. I
was just...but in all that I didn't even stop to think what I was doing to you.
All I knew is somewhere you seemed to understand. All I knew is being with you
was the only escape I found from that mad haze. I am so so sorry Khushi. I
really am no different than Tony I guess."
"Don't say that. You're not Tony. Your apologetic tears
right now are proof that you're not as heartless as men like him. And as for
me, if you didn't buy me, someone else would have, and trust me I know it would
have been a lot worse than with you. What you did was wrong, but it wasn't the
worst thing that's been done to me. And you saved me..."
"No, you saved me, Khushi. You brought me back to life.
I..."
"Enough already. Didn't you say we have to put the past
behind us?" Khushi put an end to the conversation. She walked a few steps
and sat on the swing in the lawn, not yet ready to go back inside the house. A
couple of minutes later, Arnav joined her and sat next to her. He grabbed her
hand between both of his and she didn't protest, but neither said another word,
letting the silence settle protectively around them.
Mere haath mein
tera haath ho
Saari jannatein
mere saath ho
Tu jo paas hai,
fir kya ye jahaan
Tere pyaar mein
ho jaoon fanaa
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