Chapter 42: Anguished Goodbyes
Geet walked nervously towards the study after being summoned by Maan. She somewhere hoped all this was just a part of her nightmare and when she woke up she would be in a happy place.
The minute Maan stepped out of the room as told by Daadima, her stomach churned dangerously leaving a bitter after taste in her mouth. Her need for divorce blinded her from thinking about the consequences. She never thought about Daadima and the effects of this divorce on her. Daadima had been nothing less than a mother to her since the time she stepped into this home. Although she didn't actively go in search of Daadima for help, she knew there was someone whom she could always count on. And she had gone to the extent of crushing the dreams Daadima had woven for her grandson. But she was helpless. Given a chance, she wanted to change everything around but at this point her only choice was to walk out without further damaging everyone's life around her. When Daadima came to speak to her, she was disgusted and nervous of facing her. To her surprise, Daadima was very understanding of the situation and let her have her say. She had been given full liberty to choose what she wanted to do. Unable to take the irrevocable love showered on her, she broke down in Daadima's arms and sobbed uncontrollably. She certainly didn't deserve anyone from this family that kept her wishes above everything else. So she did the next best thing to help them get rid of her, she decided to leave them.
She knocked the slightly ajar door of the study only to hear him grunt in response. She took slow and calculated steps into the room and stood with her head held low hoping he didn't see through her fake walls she had built for herself.
"Yeh lo." His voice was eerily cold. He slapped a bunch of papers on the table in front of her. "These are your tickets to the US, your passport and visa papers, and all other necessary papers for your stay over there," he finished solemnly.
It took her a few seconds for his words to sink it. Her eyes widedned in shock and she looked up immediately. And yet again he had proved his selfless love to her and what had she given him in return pain and more pain. She couldn't accept anymore from him. She was about to refuse him when she heard him speak again.
"Don't bother refusing. You are my responsibility until we are officially divorced. Take this as my way of thanking you for putting up with my family and me for all these days," he said with a wry smile.
Geet gasped hearing him speak so coldly. She had never seen him sound so detached and hollow. Her eyes brimmed with unshed tears while she bit her bottom lip so she wouldn't breakdown in front of him.
"Go pack your bags. You have a flight to catch tonight." With that he turned his attention to the file in his hand hinting that he was done talking and she should leave.
A lone tear slid down her cheeks as she saw him dismiss her like she meant nothing to him. It hurt every fiber in her body to see him turn so cold towards her but she realized this was the price she had to pay for hurting him. And walking away from his life today meant that he would never have to face anything remotely similar to what he was going through now. Wiping away her tears she walked out of the room with a determined resolve.
Maan watched her walk out of the room silently. He had certainly prevented her from speaking but the Geet Handa he knew would never shut up without putting up a fight. She hadn't spoken a word and her resolve to break this marriage stood intact. It certainly seemed like she was totally okay with the way things were going. He wondered if their relationship meant anything at all to her. He threw away the file in hand and walked out of the study feeling extremely suffocated to even breathe.
There was really nothing much to pack. She had already packed when she suddenly left to Meera's place. A few additional books and belongings were still in their room. She packed those along with the papers. Having zipped up her bag she looked around the room. Perhaps this would be the last time she would physically be present in his room. The minute she steps out of this room, she will never be allowed to come back here. She took a deep breath and turned towards the door because if she stayed a minute long she would change her mind and stay back.
She walked down to see Daadi waiting for her near the end of the stairs. She bent to take her blessings for one last time.
"Khush raho beta," Daadima said placing her hand on her head before engulfing her in a warm hug. Geet couldn't stop the tears with Daadima's gesture. None of her family members had taken bothered to care for her after her mother passed away. But this lady hugging her with whom she was breaking her ties came forward to look after her needs and wishes. She vowed to never forget the compassion and love this family showered on her and wished to erase the bad memories she had created for them.
Geet wiped away her tears and returned a watery smile. "Aap apna khyaal rakhiyega," she managed to say in between her sniffling. "I'll miss you very much Daadima."
"Toh reh jayiye na bete, I promise you won't regret," Daadima tried for one last time.
"Please Daadima, yehi humare liye sahi hai," Geet choked shaking her head. "Bye Daadima," she said her voice thick from all the crying. She picked her up bag and headed out of the door.
"Take care beta." She heard Daadima speak as she rushed out of the door.
She turned to look for the jeep that held so many good memories of them together. She hoped he would take her on the jeep for the last time but was disappointed to see him drive his sedan out of the garage. He came to stop the car in front of her but made no effort to look at her or get out of the car. She walked around to sit quietly in the passenger seat before he zoomed off towards the airport.
Ride to airport was silent; he refused to look at her and kept his full concentration on the road ahead while she had her head bent low and her hands tightly pinching her thighs. Even the traffic didn't hold them up for too long and they reached the airport in half hour. He parked the car and made his way into the airport with Geet silently following behind him.
"You have all the papers I gave you?" he asked not bothering to look at her.
"Ji," she said in a low tone taking out all the papers.
"Someone will be there you receive you and take you to your apartment. Applications and other forms are in that other packet. Transfer certificates or baaki sab formalities shall be mailed to you. Aur kuch chahiye toh call me." He pulled out his wallet, "Aur yeh loh dollars for your use over there. Yeh credit card be rakho, you can use it anywhere," he said handing her some bills along with a credit card.
Geet looked hesitantly at him. "Aap already yeh sab kuch kar rahein hain. I... I can't take this," she gulped.
"Yeh sab main tuhmare liye nahi, balki mere liye kar raha hoon. I don't want you blaming me tomorrow that as a husband I didn't take good care of you. Le lo Geet, I don't want any drama." His voice sounded distant and cold.
Geet shot her head up to look at him. Was he the same man who couldn't bear to see her in pain when those men had her captured? She forcefully blinked back her tears and looked away. Not wanting to create a scene, she quietly took it from him. Well she had signed up for this so she would certainly bear the brunt.
"Alright, I'll take your leave now, have a safe flight," he said before turning and walking away without a second look.
Geet bit her lips controlling her sobs while forcefully rubbing her cheeks of the tears. Tucking the money and the card he gave deep into her bag, she walked towards check-in stands.
Wiping away the last tear trickling down, she walked lifelessly as directed by the airlines staff for check in and immigration formalities. The airport was buzzing with people hurrying. Some were excited meeting their friends and family after their long trip while others were saddened to leave their loved ones. The air was thick with wide range of emotions from happiness to sorrow. But everything passed away like a blur. The pain in her chest seemed to have numbed as she stared into nothingness.
***
It had taken him a lot of strength to not take her in his arms again. He could clearly read the pain in her eyes but she was quite determined to walk out of his life. He had pleaded with her once but he couldn't come around to plead again and have his heart broken all over again.
Didn't they say if you loved someone set them free and if they come back they're yours. He loved her too much to imprison her with him. He loved her but she loved her freedom. He had promised to lay his life for her but she simply asked for freedom. It couldn't be that hard right?
He had purposely avoided taking the jeep to drop her at the airport. It housed some of the best memories they spent together. And he didn't want to spoil those by riding with her the last time on it. Some things were best left untainted.
***
Announcements for boarding began and she robotically stood behind many others eagerly waiting to board the flight. Methodically walking through jet-bridge and into the plane. The airhostess welcomed her with a smile and guided her to her seat but nothing seemed to register for Geet.
The moon hid behind black clouds creating a gloomy look over the waxing sky. Her head fell back hitting the soft cushion headrest. Hollow and pained, she closed her eyes hoping to wake up in his arms again. Even when her father and brother ignored and ill-treated her, she had never felt alone and deprived. But today she had lost something she could never get back even if she begged. Fresh tears stung her eyes and made its way down her pale cheeks silently.
***
He walked back into the house that now felt like a doomed mansion. After many years Geet had brought a new life and with her gone, the happiness and sunshine had vacated the place too.
He walked into the confines of his room hoping to hold on to the last piece of hope. Opening the huge closet doors, he tossed around neatly folded clothes in order to find the thing he had carefully kept. But he couldn't find it. Thinking it would have probably slipped deeper in the closet, he hurriedly tossed around many other pieces of clothing.
Where could it go?' he thought irritatedly and searched for it in and around the closet. But it was nowhere to be found. He went around the room throwing everything around hoping to find it.
Hot tears threatened to fall as he sat defeated by one of the legs of the bed. He blinked briny tears from bloodshot eyes, his thick lashes stuck together in clumps. The tears made wet tracks down his face and dripped from his stubbled, wobbling chin. His hands open and closed, rhythmically clenching as if there could be some violent solution to his pain if only he could find it.
The sobs were stifled at first as he attempted to hide his grief, then overcome by the wave of his emotions he broke down completely, all his defences washed away in those salty tears.
The one thing that he had so carefully safeguarded after she had carelessly thrown it away was gone today, just like her.
Daadima heard his cries and rushed to his room only to see him lie on the floor curled into a ball.
"Maan bete!" she screamed rushing to his side. Placing his head on her lap, she tried to soothe his burning heart. "Apne aap ko sambhaliye Maan." Her eyes teared up watching her favorite grandson's terrible state.
He instantly hugged her waist. "Voh chali gayi Daadima." His violent sobs shaking his body. "Vo chali gayi."
***
She opened her bloodshot eyes as though she remembered something important. Pushing off the seatbelt, she jerked off the seat and opened the overhead cabin. Grabbing her bag that was neatly tucked in place, she hurriedly opened the zip. Rummaging through random things stuffed in it, she finally found what she was looking for.
The tiny diamonds in the midst of black beads sparkled in spite of dim light. She tightly clutched the only object left that connected her to him. She slid back into her seat. She softly kissed it before taking a clear look at the bead string he had lovingly tied during their marriage.
She had certainly thrown it away in a fit of rage but it didn't take her seconds to feverishly crawl under the bed and find it. It was the only thing that would physically connect her with him and she wouldn't trade it for the world.
She stared out the window to see things around her growing tiny by the second. The only words she could mumble were "I love you Maan." 
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee
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