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Women's sexuality intimidates men - Kalki Koechlin
Actress and women's rights champion Kalki Koechlin, tells us why women should be unapologetic about looking sexy, fight to be independent, and never ever shy away from saying 'no'
Nona Walia
TIMES LIFE
March 8, 2015
Are women the second sex in Bollywood. Who calls the power shots?
We live in a patriarchal world. Bollywood or Hollywood, it's men who get paid more and earn more. So, they control more. However, we cannot generalise because there are exceptionally-talented women running some pretty impressive productions and making films too.
Can women change the world?
Yes, they can. By vocalising injustices on gender equality, by being aware of their rights, by understanding them selves better and understanding men better. We are human beings first, then a gender.
How judgmental are we as a society?
People judge you by how you dress, how old you are, how you carry your self, your body type etc... we do it all the time, but these stereotypes exist for men too. I have found many times that people's opinions of me change once they get to know me.
Female empowerment to you would be...
More women working and more men at home with kids. Better balance of gender in both domestic and professional situations.
Should women act like men at work?
No. They should always be themselves.
Why is it tough for a man to be with a strong-minded, successful woman?
I guess the thought that she doesn't have to stick around, that she could leave if she's not satisfied.
Does the power equation in marriages-relationships tilt in favour of men?
Yes, it does. We still have laws that don't help the woman in a marriage, like marital rape is not a crime. Social taboos make it very difficult for a woman to live outside of a man's control. A woman living alone is still not acceptable in many building societies.
Is life getting tougher or easier for women?
A bit of both. We are experiencing freedom and job opportunities like never before but we have to fight hard to stand up against the ideas of male domination that have stood strong for so long. And since women these days are emancipated and strong, men see them as threats; threats to their long-held power equation and ego. Hence, things can get aggressive.
Three things women should stop feeling guilty about?
Looking sexy, saying 'no' and being independent.
Your role models?
Meryl Streep, Maya Rao, Amanda Palmer, Juliette Binoche, Tabu...
Is the fight more difficult for unattached, single or divorced women?
Not necessarily, sometimes it's harder to fight from the inside. A married woman is dependent in many ways on her husband which makes it difficult to fight.
5 lessons learnt as a woman in India
- If you get eve teased, take a picture of the guys and put it up on a social media platform
- Put your elbows out when you are boarding a crowded bus or train
- Wear a bikini in Goa and a salwar kameez in Bihar
- Ask for pads and condoms really loudly at the chemist just to make sure everyone hears
- Always buy your own drinks
Can women change the world?
Yes, they can. By vocalising injustices on gender equality, by being aware of their rights, by understanding them selves better and understanding men better. We are human beings first, then a gender.
How judgmental are we as a society?
People judge you by how you dress, how old you are, how you carry your self, your body type etc... we do it all the time, but these stereotypes exist for men too. I have found many times that people's opinions of me change once they get to know me.
Female empowerment to you would be...
More women working and more men at home with kids. Better balance of gender in both domestic and professional situations.
Should women act like men at work?
No. They should always be themselves.
Why is it tough for a man to be with a strong-minded, successful woman?
I guess the thought that she doesn't have to stick around, that she could leave if she's not satisfied.
Does the power equation in marriages-relationships tilt in favour of men?
Yes, it does. We still have laws that don't help the woman in a marriage, like marital rape is not a crime. Social taboos make it very difficult for a woman to live outside of a man's control. A woman living alone is still not acceptable in many building societies.
Is life getting tougher or easier for women?
A bit of both. We are experiencing freedom and job opportunities like never before but we have to fight hard to stand up against the ideas of male domination that have stood strong for so long. And since women these days are emancipated and strong, men see them as threats; threats to their long-held power equation and ego. Hence, things can get aggressive.
Three things women should stop feeling guilty about?
Looking sexy, saying 'no' and being independent.
Your role models?
Meryl Streep, Maya Rao, Amanda Palmer, Juliette Binoche, Tabu...
Is the fight more difficult for unattached, single or divorced women?
Not necessarily, sometimes it's harder to fight from the inside. A married woman is dependent in many ways on her husband which makes it difficult to fight.
5 lessons learnt as a woman in India
- If you get eve teased, take a picture of the guys and put it up on a social media platform
- Put your elbows out when you are boarding a crowded bus or train
- Wear a bikini in Goa and a salwar kameez in Bihar
- Ask for pads and condoms really loudly at the chemist just to make sure everyone hears
- Always buy your own drinks
Advocate Anjali Awasthi
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