Celebration of Fates: RagNa FF, Part-23, Pg-147, 30/07 - Page 63

PART-17 (1)

Sammy had brought some details of the on-going projects and urgent reports in order to discuss with Raghav. After the shoot of the advertisement, he had gone to meet Raghav in his vanity van. He had done some explaining to Raghav regarding the details of a tender they were filing in the latest spectrum allocation by the government. It was after some ten minutes that Sammy noticed a visibly lost-looking Raghav. With one hand on his cheek, Raghav was lost in his own world, thinking something "or more likely remembering something" Sammy chuckled in his mind. He now settled back in his couch to observe his best friend. Raghav didn't even notice that Sammy had stopped speaking, his lips were curved in a small smile and his eyes carried a dazed look. Apparantly the feel of Kalpana's lips agains his cheeks was too pleasant a surprise for him. He still could not believe that "his honeybee" gave him honey instead of her ususal bites for the first time. He shook his head and closed his eyes to feel that again; her soft petals were against his own rough surface and that too for moments more than the actual requirement. Not only this, she'd gone on to kiss his other cheek as well and it had taken all of Raghav's self-control to not take Kalpi in his arms and kiss her passionately in response. "Had it not been for the shoot..." Raghav thought and cancelled the thought "Oh No, it was exactly because of the shoot that I got those gifts. She did go of her obstinacy, but why? Was she...jealous?"

Satisfied with his conclusion Raghav's lips curved into a wider, slightly crooked smile. He had just begun to divulge on the way Kalpi was eyeing him while reciting the dialogue "All Mine, My Man" when the sounds of loud laughter broke into his thoughts. "What?What happened?" he looked here and there to find Sammy doubling up in laughter holding his stomach. The dazed look seconds before was now replaced by an unhappy frown on Raghav's face. "May I know what is so funny?" Raghav asked even though he knew that Sammy had caught him day-dreaming. "Just look at your expressions and face my friend" Sammy replied trying to control his laughter now. "I am sorry, but it is so rare to see a cute and lost in love Raghav. Aww...", "ha ha ha" Sammy continued with his leg-pulling. He only earned an angry glare from Raghav and before he could counter this, Sammy threw another bumper his friend's way. "So, my best buddy got his first kiss from the love of his life. How are you feeling Mr.Singhania?" he said holding an imaginary mic in front of Raghav's mouth.

"Shut up Sam, and love of my life? What rubbish" Raghav said in his defence, saying the second line sheepishly. "Yes Raghav, love of your life and your heart knows this better than you. Kalpana was, is and shall always be the only love of your life. See how she has transformed you in a matter of few days only. You smile more openly now, from your eyes; and correct me if I am wrong but..."

"But what?" Raghav asked, his friend's questions only increasing his heartbeats every second. Yes it was true that Kalpi was somewhere the most important part of his life after his mother. Since past eight years and maybe even before that she was all who had occupied most parts of his attention. The distrust and hurt given by Kalpi eight years ago had done nothing but only intensified his attentive feelings for her. He breathed, ate and lived Kalpi twenty four hours and every nano-second. He'd let himself believe it was only his anger for Kalpi which had made him do this. But what he had done in order to calm down that burning flame of anger within him was only engulfing him now. "His honeybee" had become his addiction lately, something pervading deeper than his senses. He had seen the confusion and fight written on Kalpana's face. But what about him, no one knew that he too was fighting. Sometimes he told himself it was nothing more than avenging the wrong done to him by someone who knew him so well. That was other matter that keeping Kalpana close to him forever had only added on to his goal of making Kalpi successful. "Close?" he often asked himself, the meaning of close for him had changed. Earlier he wanted to be close to her because he knew Kalpi was running away from him always; and he couldn't bear her pushing him away like that. But now he wanted her to be close to him, because she made him feel good, calm, happy and peaceful. How he had missed this peace since last eight years and with his return in Kalpana's life the peace returned too miraculously.

"But why did he want Kalpi to be close to him?" he'd asked himself many times. "What would I gain by getting her attention, her love? Love? This word pops up again and again" and he frowned hearing the same word from Sammy's mouth. Some where whatever he did to and for Kalpi lately was the only true life he was living. His business and acting was his passion which drove him towards his professional aims. Success in those spheres made him joyous, satisfied but not peaceful.

Sammy: "Yes Rags, love. You love her and it would be better for you and her if you admit it to yourself at least. The sooner it is the better."

Raghav till now whose back was facing Sammy turned towards him asking in exasperation "What do you think love is Sammy?" Sammy smiled, keeping a hand on Raghav's shoulder he said "Love is devotion; love is living your own life but breathing in your loved one; the air which leaves your lungs speaking you cannot live without your lover. Love is thinking for someone else's happiness; finding peace in her/his arms; love does not need to remember lovers especially because one never forgets his/her partner, they are in our blood. Love is wishing to wake-up to your lover's voice & face and going to sleeping wishing to dream about them. Every minute you live- if thirty seconds are for your own self then the other thirty seconds are for your partner. It's about wishing to celebrate every happiness with them and keeping them away from all sorrows. Yet love is also about sharing pain, one who understands the depth of your pain and supports you without wanting anything in return can be your bestest friend and true lifepartner. Love needs gifts and yet time is the most valuable gift for true lovers. Even if you are busy twentyfour seven, the seconds you give to acknowledge your partner's wait for you and to just rest in her arms are the most precious. You never want to be away from your love because they are become your life. If you do decide to be away, then it would only be in the best interests of your partner." Raghav looked on with his mouth agape and finding himself losing in the world of words his friend had shown him. Some tears had started forming in the corners of his eyes, when Sammy's attention went to Raghav he was surprised to see this.

"Raghav?" Sammy frowned, "I am sorry, you asked so I was..." But before he could complete his sentence, his best buddy had hugged him tight. Any more words which were on Sammy's lips drowned in Raghav's tight hug, and soon he felt cool drops of water on his neck. Loosening his hold on Sammy, Raghav looked at him; he was crying. Sammy's concerned eyes widened "Are you fine? What happened yaar. I am so..."

"No Sam it's not you. It's me, it's me dammit; it's me!" he paused a bit before hugging Sammy again tightly, sobbing without voice some more. Sammy continued comforting Raghav all the while. Finally Raghav stopped and turning his back to Sammy again said "Eight years Sam, eight years and I could not stop thinking about Kalpi. Even during Mom's illness, her thought was always in the corner of my mind. If what you are saying is love, then maybe I must be in love. I don't know anything except the fact that I don't know when my fights with Kalpi turned into attraction towards her. My attraction for her lead me to feel only & only anger for her; but when my anger turned into my need for her I don't know Sam. When my need turned into my addiction for her; when my promise to avenge the wrong done to me turned into an action for my own happiness, I don't know. I only know that I want to see her successful, though I still promise it'll be only through me. Because, it hurts Sammy, It hurts. It hurts to see hatred and disliking for myself in her eyes. It pains to feel her distrust towards me. I'll let go of everything, every damn obstinate promise after I see her successful. But I cannot bear accusations for myself in her voice and in her eyes. Can she not trust me once Sammy, can she not remember the faith we always kept for each other even in fights? I don't need her forgiveness, I need her trust" Raghav paused to catch some breath and drank a glass of water. Then turning towards Sammy said "I wish to wipe out that distrust and hatred for myself from her heart & eyes. And yes, to be with her always is the need of my life; maybe she HAS BECOME MY LIFE" and he hugged Sammy again.

"Everything would be fine Raghav, trust time" Sammy said. "Hmm" was the reply he got from Raghav, who now feeling relieved, frowned again and asked "By the way how do you know so much about love?" Sammy stared at his friend wide-eyed and they both burst out laughing.

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Focusing on her bowl of "mango ice-cream" Kalpi was trying to keep up the pretense of being ignorant towards the questions running in her best friend's mind. It was her second serving now and she knew that Sapna was eagerly waiting for Kalpi to finish the last course of their dinner. They were sitting in Sapna's living room; after many days Kalpi could find time for a night-stay at her friend's place. Whatever happened, was happening or may transpire in future, Kalpi knew she would never compromise on her friendship with Sapna. She was too special and they could always sort out any disputes between them, or each other's issues. The whole problem was that Kalpi herself was not mentally prepared yet to dig old stories out related to Raghav. "I have anyway never shared anything related to him with anyone till now. It's just too painful to recollect, or is it too close to me?" Kalpi wondered. But she knew that Sapna's patience was par her limits now to give Kalpi any more space or time. Kalpi understood though that it was because she might have wanted to help Kalpi. Sapna as a friend always showed Kalpi the mirror when needed, or became a pillow that listened and supported; or show Kalpi a map for taking any future action. But to voice it all out would mean adding more pain to the burden of confusion and her inner fights. Kalpi was sure that this time Sapna would not be so understanding. She was too adamant to get out the full picture related to her and Raghav, especially after that morning's commercial shoot. "Aren't you eating too slowly Kalpi? For someone in glamour world, you're breaking the diet rule too much right?" Sapna said breaking into Kalpi's thoughts and indicating she cannot avoid her anymore. Kalpi looked towards Sapna who was sitting on the right hand couch, tapping fingers on the crossed arms across her chest.

"I am almost done"Kalpi replied and quickened the speed of her eating, knowing this was the time to share it all finally with someone other than herself.

After ten minutes Kalpi was nervously plucking leaves out of a climber plant on the railing of the balcony in Sapna's home. She let out a heavy breath and looked up into Sapna's eyes "okay, shoot" she said unhappily and got a smile from Sapna. "Shoot whom? Some person or your past?" Sapna joked smiling; adding: "I am your friend not some interrogator. Feel free to share everything and anything related to your and Raghav's past; and yes, present also." Sapna's demeanour was very clear that she wanted to know everything; but she didn't force Kalpi too much for it. "Okay, fine. Here we go" Kalpi said and started by telling Sapna all about her and Raghav's first meeting in their childhood; how they got accustomed to fighting with each other, competing with each other; and yet how how they always were together- in the same school mostly. It was a journey which she'd thought to have ended at that theatre eight years ago, she told Sapna that how despite their competition with each other and fights, Kalpi always kept complete faith on Raghav. She knew whatever happens Raghav would neither let anyone else hurt her, nor would do any demeaning act himself. "I thought we would never gel together as friends, that we'll always be each other's enemies. But he was still my respectful enemy; in my competition with him somehow he became my role model in every sphere. He was the best in every field and yes, not a bad human being either."

"But yes, not better than me, because I always wanted to win from him, do better than him and I did even though we were in different classes, different standards" Kalpi added with a smile. "Then came that dark, rainy night and the darker next day which put an end to whatever was there supposedly between us" tears rolling down her cheeks Kalpi continued, while Sapna was listening to her without interruption.

"What happened?" Sapna whispered, afraid to break the flow out of Kalpi's heart. Kalpi looked up at Sapna, her eyes apprehensive if her friend would understand. But now that she had started, she could not hide anything; she could not stop. She could never share such a fact with her mother and this moment was the best to unburden herself, before her mind locked her heart again. "I, we, it was a rainy night and unwillingly we both got stuck with each other." Kalpi told her how they'd ended up in Singhania Group of Companies- Guest House that night. "I got the first kiss of my life from him" Kalpi blurted out while her eyes were tight closed. Sapna was surprised but somewhere she had sensed something more than mere acquaintance between Raghav and Kalpana. "I was only supporting him in the loss he felt on missing his Dad, and then one thing led to the other. We discovered something new between us and I was too young, only seventeen. It scared me and angered me" Kalpi told Sapna about her anger on Raghav, her pursuing fight with him and then each and every detail of the day next.

"Tell me where was I wrong? Even though we were enemies, but still after my Aai and Dada, it was him I trusted the most. He broke my trust and I could not take it. I felt ashamed of myself, guilty to treat him as a role model somewhere in my heart. I felt he was not worthy of it, and at that time I felt I was right to break every thread of contact with him. But now he is back to fulfill his promise and he makes me feel worse" Kalpi finished her cheeks sticky with tears now.

"Did you ask Raghav why he did what he did that day?" Sapna asked and as Kalpi looked up at her dumbstruck she continued. "Did you give that person whom you trusted the most after your family, any chance to keep his side before you? Or you blindly believed Nisha?"

"I didn't blindly believe Nisha. You're forgetting I had refused to believe her, but then I listened with my own ears what, what he was conspiring. I had no choice but to believe Nisha, and then I had seen Raghav myself holding that new dress" Kalpi defended her stance. "But did you hear the name of the person against whom Raghav was supposedly conspiring; or did you see any scissor in Raghav's hand, pocket, anywhere when he held that dress? Are you sure that his target was you Kalpi? That his ego was bigger than his gesture of saying sorry? Maybe his action of kissing you was not right, but if I am not wrong it was not a forced kiss? Do you think he would have forced the kiss even if you broke it? I know you may not be in the right frame of mind that day when you thought he broke your trust. Those new feelings between you might have added on to your confusion. But please compare and ask yourself- when Raghav had kissed you, which feelings were the strongest? What had you felt then Kalpi? Did you feel he broke your trust, or you were surprised, or angry at reciprocating him or because he awakened a new Kalpi in you?"

Kalpi was fuming visibly yet very attentive to each and every word of Sapna. Her best friend's questions starting a new battle inside her. Her heart had seemingly become the most welcoming place lately for all kinds of fights and battles. Yet she needed some alone time to build a home of answers to the ever new arising questions. But Sapna did manage to take out some bricks out of the hard walls around Kalpi's heart; walls which had already started cracking after Raghav's return. Kalpi realized that even eight years ago she hadn't resisted Raghav's charm. She was merely angry at him for making her feel that way, something for which she wasn't prepared then. She was angry at him because she'd thought Raghav made her ditch her Aai's teachings. Her only resolve then was to keep away from everything which made her feel that way, more specifically Raghav himself. Sapna was right, that kiss between them had felt so right then, even if her tongue had spilled fire on Raghav. But her heart never once thought about him breaking her trust. For her, Raghav broke his Kamla Maa's trust and made Kalpi his partner-in-crime. "You speak as if you know him more than me!" Kalpi said in anger, not ready to answer any of Sapna's questions.

Sapna smiled, "So you think you know him? Even after Raghav supposedly broke your trust, you are sure of his intentions. Maybe you should still avoid him after the finite episodes of this show are over, after all he can still harm you right? This time it will be more public, he can definitely take revenge of that slap you gave him in front of all. Why take chances since you know him so well?"

"He won't do that!" Kalpi snapped, "At least it doesn't seem so." This time her voice was a whisper and sad, "I, I have observed him but he doesn't let anyone else harm me."

"And you think this time he means that; his intentions are not wrong like last time?" Sapna asked, trying to use reverse psychology on Kalpi. Kalpi didn't reply to this only saying slowly, "He made another promise to me recently." "Oh really? And what is that?" Sapna asked.

Kalpi, her face drooping low by now: "He, he promised to stay away from me so that I could focus on my career's success." Sapna laughed hoarsely, "and if you don't trust him, if you are still afraid of him; you really believe his promises?"

"Don't say a word against him and his promises. He has always kept his each and every promise; he not only remembers but also fulfills his promises. He maybe anything and irritating but he is a man of his words"Kalpi finished in one breath and Sapna raised her one brow. "You seem to have full faith on his promise. You both were really close to each other's families it seems to witness him giving and fulfilling his tons of supposed promises" Sapna casually remarked.

"Yes because even my Gauri Taai and Aai used to give him the responsibility of looking after my well-being when they were not around. How many promises he used to give, in order to assure them that despite our equations of fight, he'd always take care of me" Kalpi smiled reminiscing some old moments and suddenly the realization hit her. She kept both her hands on her mouth as it let out a silent gasp. This was it; Raghav had always been focused on fulfilling the promises given to her Aai and his Mom. Where-ever she was concerned Kalpi couldn't deny that as far as her eyes could see, whatever their mothers expected Raghav fulfilled. She was unaware yet of the full extent of Raghav's hidden care for her in school, etc. Yet, she had seen some very express moments of Raghav standing up with her, for her or merely helping her. Even that night eight years ago was a result of one such promise which he had given to their mothers. That was the reason they were returning together in the first place, that rainy night. "Maybe I did make a big blunder in not giving Raghav any chance to explain his side eight years ago. Maybe in my confused and hurting mind, I ignored my heart; and to some extent my mind too was unreasonable. I should have listened to him, what if there was another side of the story? The person who had given so much importance to the promise he gave to our mothers, can he forget that in one night or one day?"

Suddenly it had all become too suffocating for Kalpi and more tears were rolling down her cheeks now. Her back faced Sapna when she heard Sapna say "it was you who changed the scene and kissed Raghav in the commercial shoot today Kalpi. Or did Raghav do something to break his promise? I hope you were not jealous of mine and Raghav's closeness in the shoot?" Sapna fired some more statements and questions Kalpana's way and added "Anyway, I don't see a reason why you'll be affected by any other girl being close to him. You don't love Raghav, neither do you like him."

There was a moment's pause and complete silence in the atmosphere, broken only by the sounds of loud breathing by Kalpana. "I, I was jealous of your closeness with Raghav. I am sorry" Kalpi said, this time in a calm and soft voice. "You were? But why?" asked Sapna. Kalpi turned with tear-stricken face; she took a few steps towards Sapna and said: "Because I like him, I do get affected by him. I like everything he does for me, his touch, his teasing me, his promises, his protecting me; him caring for my career's success even if it's for a mere promise. And most important I wish and desire from the deepest corners of my heart that he is the only one who ever touches my body and soul. I know, after his touch, I won't be able to accept or bear anyone else coming close to me." By this time Kalpi was sobbing hard and Sapna came near her friend to console her, hugging her. "I am sorry Kalpi; I didn't mean to hurt you" she said.

"No, I am Thankful to you. But I still have to say something" Kalpi said crying still in Sapna's shoulder.

"What?" Sapna asked. Kalpi raised her head and said "I need time to admit this in front of Raghav; I, I am not prepared mentally yet. I accepted in front of you, but I cannot do this yet in front of Raghav. I am still scared of losing from him and...and..."

Sapna: "And what?" happy that they'd progressed somewhat in the matter, but still disappointed. "And I wish eight years ago we had not separated; that black day had not come in my life, in our lives. That my trust on him was as strong as were his promises for me, how I wish my heart ruled my mind. But my mind is still strong Sapna, somewhere it still rules." This time Kalpi broke down completely in Sapna's arms, her body shaking with sobs. "Can we not go back in time and erase, re-write that day? Can everything not be peaceful between us? I, I have missed him so much in these eight years; even when I thought we'll never met. I could not forget him, he was the closest I had after my family; I missed him Sapna, I missed him and I, do like him." the wall around her heart, which didn't permit any communication with her brain, had for the first time seen a big window in it The atmosphere inside Kalpi was changing, for the first time cross-communication of messages between her heart and mind had started.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction using characters from the show 'Ek Mutthi Aasmaan" on "Zee TV". The characters are owned by creators and owners of the show.

PART-17(2)