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Hello all
This is an impromptu piece. It has no proper beginning or ending, its short and certainly not proof-read😳
I have been listening to Papon's version of this song (from Special 26) almost 50 times each day over this week (I am not kidding ), and the song truly inspired this post... Hope y'all like it!
* Nikki - Thank You for introducing me to this song... this post is for you🤗
Kaun mera, mera kya tu laage
Kyun tu baandhe, man ke man se dhaage
Bas chale naa kyun mera tere aage
Dhoond hi loge mujhe tum har jagah ab toh
Mujhko khabar hai
Ho gaya hun tera jab se Main hawa mein hoon
Tera asar hai
Tere paas hoon, ehsaas mein, main yaad mein teri
Tera thikana ban gaya ab saans mein meri (* my fav line in this song)
***
Its just after lunch, quite a few hours before I can make my way back home. I have been finding excuses to leave work early, but frankly I am running out. Mihir, bless his heart seems to understand my plight, and doesnt tease me any more. I remember him saying, "Bhai, typical people have their honeymoon period immediately after they get married. But aap aur bhabhi kya first anniversary ki wait kar rahe the?" I smiled at his silly comparison, but thought about it later.
To say that my marriage with Ishita was a 'typical' one would be ridiculous. Honestly, I don't even remember the wedding very clearly. The customs and rituals were alien to me and my family. We went through the motions, because we had to, not because I wanted to. I do, however remember what I was feeling, as well as the look on her face. I didn't want to be there. I wasn't ready to start sharing my life with anyone. I'd spent almost 6 years building that wall, brick by brick. I didn't even allow my own flesh & blood to scale that wall, there was no chance an outsider would be allowed. She was the most annoyingly righteous person I had ever met. I remember wondering who that poor chap would be who'd have to spend his life with her. I must admit, I had never imagined it would be me.
As much as I'd hated that union, I had to accept it for my daughter's sake. No matter how much I hated that woman, she was the best thing to happen to Ruhi. And I wouldn't even in weakest moment knowingly stop happiness from entering my daughter's life. And then there was the matter of Shagun and Ashok trying to take her away from me. I didn't want Ruhi to be another Aditya. I did not want my daughter to be just another memory like my estranged son. Ruhi was still in a place where her innocence hadn't been marred by the dark clouds. I wanted light to shine in her life. She still had hope. I still had hope for her.
As annoyed as I was at the so-called wedding, my bride wasn't feeling peachy either. Every time our eyes met, I could see every shade of negative emotion in her looks. She alternated frequently between mild annoyance, outright hatred and dismissal. The only time her face softened was when she talked about Ruhi or looked at Ruhi. And I suppose that is what we all needed anyway. She didn't want anything else from me, and I certainly wasn't looking for companionship. Love was a word alien to both of us.
I don't even remember when things started changing. The first surprise I had was how comfortable we were in fighting each other. Our fights were fierce and frequent, but there was no guile in them. I suppose, there wasn't any real hatred. At first I thought we'd been tolerating each other only for Ruhi's sake. But now that I think about it, I dont think there was any real hatred. Misunderstandings yes, but spite? No. She was way too 'sorted' to hate me for no real reason, and I was way too casual with my emotions when it came to her. We married for Ruhi, but we lived out marriage in relative peace because we didn't have any real reasons to kill each other.
And just like that, she started scaling my wall and I hers. We started by scratching on the wall first. When that didn't work, we tried shaking the bricks loose. But nothing in life comes easy to us... and we started climbing the respective walls... one step up at a time. We held on to the surface with ropes, we found crevices in the wall to hold on for grip. With each crevice we found, we just found a way to hold on to it, and climb up further and further.
And here we are, one year into our life together. She still loves my daughter the way she did when she laid eyes on her. She is still annoyingly righteous. But the way she looks at me has certainly changed. And even in those private moments, when there is no one watching, she still looks at me as if she doesn't hate me any more. She isn't dismissive, she doesn't mind spending time with me, and she certainly doesn't want to kill me. I do not need her to come out and tell me she loves me. I can see it in her eyes. She looks at me with a fondness that is similar to her look for Ruhi. How can it not be love? I am sure she knows I love her too. I am sure she can see the fondness in my eyes. I am sure she teases me about it only for the sake of it.
I don't know how it happened, I don't know why it happened. I certainly don't know when it happened. But I think she may just be the most important thing in my life right now. As I think about this, and look for a new excuse to go home early, she calls me "When are you coming home?" she asks me. And I wonder if that question really means that she misses me, as much as I miss her?
"Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect." - J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
***
So, how was it ?
This is an impromptu piece. It has no proper beginning or ending, its short and certainly not proof-read😳
I have been listening to Papon's version of this song (from Special 26) almost 50 times each day over this week (I am not kidding ), and the song truly inspired this post... Hope y'all like it!
* Nikki - Thank You for introducing me to this song... this post is for you🤗
Kaun mera, mera kya tu laage
Kyun tu baandhe, man ke man se dhaage
Bas chale naa kyun mera tere aage
Dhoond hi loge mujhe tum har jagah ab toh
Mujhko khabar hai
Ho gaya hun tera jab se Main hawa mein hoon
Tera asar hai
Tere paas hoon, ehsaas mein, main yaad mein teri
Tera thikana ban gaya ab saans mein meri (* my fav line in this song)
***
Its just after lunch, quite a few hours before I can make my way back home. I have been finding excuses to leave work early, but frankly I am running out. Mihir, bless his heart seems to understand my plight, and doesnt tease me any more. I remember him saying, "Bhai, typical people have their honeymoon period immediately after they get married. But aap aur bhabhi kya first anniversary ki wait kar rahe the?" I smiled at his silly comparison, but thought about it later.
To say that my marriage with Ishita was a 'typical' one would be ridiculous. Honestly, I don't even remember the wedding very clearly. The customs and rituals were alien to me and my family. We went through the motions, because we had to, not because I wanted to. I do, however remember what I was feeling, as well as the look on her face. I didn't want to be there. I wasn't ready to start sharing my life with anyone. I'd spent almost 6 years building that wall, brick by brick. I didn't even allow my own flesh & blood to scale that wall, there was no chance an outsider would be allowed. She was the most annoyingly righteous person I had ever met. I remember wondering who that poor chap would be who'd have to spend his life with her. I must admit, I had never imagined it would be me.
As much as I'd hated that union, I had to accept it for my daughter's sake. No matter how much I hated that woman, she was the best thing to happen to Ruhi. And I wouldn't even in weakest moment knowingly stop happiness from entering my daughter's life. And then there was the matter of Shagun and Ashok trying to take her away from me. I didn't want Ruhi to be another Aditya. I did not want my daughter to be just another memory like my estranged son. Ruhi was still in a place where her innocence hadn't been marred by the dark clouds. I wanted light to shine in her life. She still had hope. I still had hope for her.
As annoyed as I was at the so-called wedding, my bride wasn't feeling peachy either. Every time our eyes met, I could see every shade of negative emotion in her looks. She alternated frequently between mild annoyance, outright hatred and dismissal. The only time her face softened was when she talked about Ruhi or looked at Ruhi. And I suppose that is what we all needed anyway. She didn't want anything else from me, and I certainly wasn't looking for companionship. Love was a word alien to both of us.
I don't even remember when things started changing. The first surprise I had was how comfortable we were in fighting each other. Our fights were fierce and frequent, but there was no guile in them. I suppose, there wasn't any real hatred. At first I thought we'd been tolerating each other only for Ruhi's sake. But now that I think about it, I dont think there was any real hatred. Misunderstandings yes, but spite? No. She was way too 'sorted' to hate me for no real reason, and I was way too casual with my emotions when it came to her. We married for Ruhi, but we lived out marriage in relative peace because we didn't have any real reasons to kill each other.
And just like that, she started scaling my wall and I hers. We started by scratching on the wall first. When that didn't work, we tried shaking the bricks loose. But nothing in life comes easy to us... and we started climbing the respective walls... one step up at a time. We held on to the surface with ropes, we found crevices in the wall to hold on for grip. With each crevice we found, we just found a way to hold on to it, and climb up further and further.
And here we are, one year into our life together. She still loves my daughter the way she did when she laid eyes on her. She is still annoyingly righteous. But the way she looks at me has certainly changed. And even in those private moments, when there is no one watching, she still looks at me as if she doesn't hate me any more. She isn't dismissive, she doesn't mind spending time with me, and she certainly doesn't want to kill me. I do not need her to come out and tell me she loves me. I can see it in her eyes. She looks at me with a fondness that is similar to her look for Ruhi. How can it not be love? I am sure she knows I love her too. I am sure she can see the fondness in my eyes. I am sure she teases me about it only for the sake of it.
I don't know how it happened, I don't know why it happened. I certainly don't know when it happened. But I think she may just be the most important thing in my life right now. As I think about this, and look for a new excuse to go home early, she calls me "When are you coming home?" she asks me. And I wonder if that question really means that she misses me, as much as I miss her?
"Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect." - J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
***
So, how was it ?
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