TANNA AND PAANIPOORI DATE
Are you fu***g serious Bigg Boss ? Only Paanipoori for dinner date ? You are so cheap and mean. First you denied me my makeup for so long and now wont even give me a decent meal ? Do you know what a bad cook I am ? and on top, I have to eat my own cooking. Its worse than making KRK watch his own movie.
I did take a crash course of 10 days from Sanjeev Kapoor academy. What a scam. So overhyped. Still cant even serve tap water in a glass properly. and Why Paanipoori though ? Oh I get it. I did say I want paanipoori for my first date. Damn why did I not say chicken kabab and chicken tikka , paneer and rumaali roti ?
Hope Paanipoori is good atleast. Where are gol gappe ? Oh Upen is smiling at me. Is he expecting me to be romantic ? Damn!! BB just pulled me out of kitchen into here. Did not get to do last minute touch up. Will I look good on national TV ?
I did apply lipstick before cooking right ? Why is Upen coming near me ? Keep your testosterones in check. He needs a smooch ? Kiss my a** baby. I dont wanna end up smearing lipstick all over my face and look like Joker from Batman.
"Thank you Bigg Boss for arranging date.." I say out loud without enthusiasm. Really BB. Paanipoori???? Even Dimpy got a Pizza when she quit her first suit-case task. It was a Pizza with paneer and chicken. It smelled so yummy but she is so selfish. If not 3/4th , atleast she could have offered me half Pizza but she gobbled everything herself like a pig and I had to contend with rice and curry.
Oh Upen is saying something to me. Cant understand a word of what he says.Sometimes I kiss him just to shut him up. He has now stopped talking and looking at me expectantly. WHAT ??? Am I supposed to reply something ?? What is his question ? Should I ask him to repeat but that would be damn awkward.
Let me try smiling, blushing and hiding my face in the cup of hands. This feminine trick is universal reply to anything. I use it when Salman grills me with scary GK questions. Oh the trick worked. He is grinning sheepishly. Did I commit to anything ? oh my gawd!! I must pay attention.
But how many Paanipooris are in the box ? Let me count. 1,2... 15. ONLY 15 ? I eat 15 for starter and here we have to share same for meal ? BiggBoss you could have taken one lakh out of suitcase and given us half decent meal instead. How many Pooris will Upen need ? Good news is that he does not eat too spicy. But what if he decides to take his share ? I must get atleast 8. Will NOT settle for 7. I may share my love, life but this is where I draw line.
BB is making some announcement. Oh the gift we purchased from Snapdeal. This yellow shirt is so ugly and that stupid "I love my girlfriend" looks like a hurried scribble with crayon. Thank God I dont have to wear this.
"Thank you Bigg Boss. So wonderful." Our mechanical reply. Upen just put it on quickly so we can go back to eating. I wonder how are Paani and potato filling ? and have they provided sweet tamarind and date chutney ? I like to mix everything myself.
Another Gift ??? Oh its for me ? A ring ? Diamonds are forever but I will take gold ring too or may be Tiffany. Oh not this ugly ring ? You guys taking some fu***g revenge on me or something. I can also see the price tag of 100Rs and I want to puke. Kari be brave..Dont show your feeling of disgust. Control. Use Sambhavana's yoga technique. You can do it baby.
Upen is saying something. Is he proposing me ? He is saying some gibberish about friendship. Cant you get down on your knees if you want to propose and make it more exciting? Think about my vote bank you idiot. I kiss him on his cheek hesitantly.
He told me earlier that he has 385 Pounds in UK bank. and he says conversion rate to Rs is 98.62. Fu***g maths again. So how much is it in Rs ? How many crores ? I asked him. I am ok with anything above 10 crores. He just laughed. Where is my calculator ? He says he will take me on world tour. London/Paris.. Are these countries or cities ?
"Thank you Bigg Boss.."
And now the ordeal of gift exchange is over and now we can get back to real business. Hmmm. Its yummy no doubt. Pooris are crispy. A little more mint in paani than necessary and potato masala could have been little spicier. Where is chaat masaala ? I wear this ring and dont even get chaat masaala ? This is getting beyond ridiculous now.
BB is making another announcement. Upen is leaving ? Wait. Dont leave yet. Finish your paanipoori, you moron. I have not finished mine yet. I only had 5. He has got up from chair and is expecting me to hug him. OK baby. So he is gone and what about remaining pooris ? Will it look bad if I decide to stay back and finish them off or atleast pack them ? Damn how much I miss my Gucci handbag from Rahul. I could have packed pooris.
I come out of confession room. Damn no one to guide me now. Oh Sambhavana seems upset with Upen's departure. She is crying. Damn I was supposed to do the same too in confession room. I forgot. I got so riled over... Why am I not gifted like Dimpy in crying department ?
But I do miss those paanipooris. Wish I had a chance to finish them. What will BB do with remaining pooris ? Will they be thrown away ? What a colossal waste. I suddenly feel like crying. Tears flow from my eyes.Its a miracle. Sam and I both are hugging and crying.
I finally did it. Thanks Paanipooris.
Edited by Pooja-- - 10 years ago
Anupamaa
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