Chavi bad behavior - could it be prevented???

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GovindaGovinda

@GovindaGovinda

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Posted: 10 years ago

I watched today's episode(Jan 27) - Chavi got what she deserved - long over due but I have these thoughts in mind - hope few agree with me

Please do not take me wrong here - I am true believer of one should be responsible for one's actions - so Chaavi is and should be responsible but I also see that few people in Chavi's life are enablers to her behavior:

1. Bhabo - Chavi - her behavior has always been that way - spoiled brat from her childhood - lied about her exam when she failed, Bhabo never even thought one second about her daughter that she may be lying because at that time her concentration is on Sandhya - how to get rid of her - so she overlooked her other children's wrong behavior - Meena, Vikram, Mohit and Chavi

then Sandhya is accepted in to their house but her dream became Bhabo's concentration - how to stop that drem - again she did not pay attention to Chavi when she lied about being caught in the exam - she did not want to believe Sandhya so she believed Chavi

during Chvi marriage - which mother would keep quiet knowing what her daughter did during the wedding time - lengha incident - never bothered to talk to Chavi - Bhabo was again concentrating on Sandhya - she was so proud of Sandhya to have saved Chavi's marriage - good to feel proued but when did she talk to Chavi about that - never

2. Sandhya - I know lot of people think that she has golden heart - very good - I agree that she has good heart - but that should not stop her from doing the right thing when it is needed - for instance, Chavi lying about getting caught in the exm - why did she have to keep quiet ?? what was she trying to prove - she encouraged her behavior - same with wedding time - she talked to her but that is not enough for people like chavi

3..Finally Mr.Dilip - what is in DBH - we either get 'MAMA'S BOY or HEN PECKED HUSBAND' - first Suraj who has only one song 'my famiy my family mera bhabo mera bhabo' -

Dilip - no words - he should have known or understood how Chavi is when she asked him to hide the lengha - what did he do - he agreed - why ?? after marriage, same - why good men forget think logically - Dilip knows how his mom is - he forgot that in a minute and believed Chavi - so again he has part in her behavior

He never tried to analyze the situation - he acted like 'hen pecked husband'

LIke I said in the beginning, Chavi is responsible but if she was corrected first time by Bhabo, She would think twice before doing the same -

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thala

@thala

Trailblazer

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

good post GG

yes sometimes when you are not punished for your mistakes

you tend to be encouraged indirectly

and that is what happened exactly with chavi

she was laadli and pampered inspite of knowing she is taking the wrong route

why did you spare suraj and bbsa

they too have contributed a lot

i wont blame chavi completely for this

RP is too resposnible for not correcting her when she went wrong

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Neela

@Neel_M

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

Good post GG.

Suraj... when she lost her necklace in beauty parlour and lied

But greedy Human being like Chavi is like dog's tail.. same as Meena!!

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GovindaGovinda

@GovindaGovinda

Navigator

Posted: 10 years ago

@thala - I got tired of typing so spared Suraj and at the current moment, he is in my bad side so do not want to talk about him

Babasa - never saw him more than ...😃

@Neel_M - Meena - am so disgusted at her behavior today - I will create another post just for her 😡

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Venus12

@Venus12

Navigator

Posted: 10 years ago

Nice post and very well written👍🏼 You've said it all.. nothing more to add! The way chavi manipulated every situation before and after marriage was known to all.. only that they all chose to look away.. Suraj and sandhya included.

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minalpink100

@minalpink100

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: GovindaGovinda
I watched today's episode(Jan 27) - Chavi got what she deserved - long over due but I have these thoughts in mind - hope few agree with me
Please do not take me wrong here - I am true believer of one should be responsible for one's actions - so Chaavi is and should be responsible but I also see that few people in Chavi's life are enablers to her behavior:

1. Bhabo - Chavi - her behavior has always been that way - spoiled brat from her childhood - lied about her exam when she failed, Bhabo never even thought one second about her daughter that she may be lying because at that time her concentration is on Sandhya - how to get rid of her - so she overlooked her other children's wrong behavior - Meena, Vikram, Mohit and Chavi
then Sandhya is accepted in to their house but her dream became Bhabo's concentration - how to stop that drem - again she did not pay attention to Chavi when she lied about being caught in the exam - she did not want to believe Sandhya so she believed Chavi

during Chvi marriage - which mother would keep quiet knowing what her daughter did during the wedding time - lengha incident - never bothered to talk to Chavi - Bhabo was again concentrating on Sandhya - she was so proud of Sandhya to have saved Chavi's marriage - good to feel proued but when did she talk to Chavi about that - never

2. Sandhya - I know lot of people think that she has golden heart - very good - I agree that she has good heart - but that should not stop her from doing the right thing when it is needed - for instance, Chavi lying about getting caught in the exm - why did she have to keep quiet ?? what was she trying to prove - she encouraged her behavior - same with wedding time - she talked to her but that is not enough for people like chavi

3..Finally Mr.Dilip - what is in DBH - we either get 'MAMA'S BOY or HEN PECKED HUSBAND' - first Suraj who has only one song 'my famiy my family mera bhabo mera bhabo' -
Dilip - no words - he should have known or understood how Chavi is when she asked him to hide the lengha - what did he do - he agreed - why ?? after marriage, same - why good men forget think logically - Dilip knows how his mom is - he forgot that in a minute and believed Chavi - so again he has part in her behavior
He never tried to analyze the situation - he acted like 'hen pecked husband'

LIke I said in the beginning, Chavi is responsible but if she was corrected first time by Bhabo, She would think twice before doing the same -

Nice post and well written .👏 i totally agree with you. 👍🏼 even mr sravankumar i mean suraj's role is also there to spoil chavi 😡

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skar1984

@skar1984

Explorer

Posted: 10 years ago

@topic maker - fantastic post!

I have a few thoughts to add here.

I am in no way defending Chavi's behavior but she clearly wasn't born this way - no child is born evil/manipulative etc - it's the environment they are brought up in, what they see around them that make them this way. Chavi is no exception here.

In my opinion the first and biggest culprit is Bhabo - mothers are a child's first teacher, children spend the most amount of time with their mothers especially in their initial years so it's natural that they absorb and internalize what ever is surrounding them.

Bhabo as we all know is not a good mother - I won't say that she is a bad person but her priorities, prejudice and general illiteracy/ignorance of the world around her have certainly taken a toll on her child rearing/parenting skills.

Bhabo uses fear to discipline her children - that's a great tactic - except you have to know where to draw the line as using fear to the extreme where children can't tell you the truth in fear of your wrath - is bad. In every instance we've seen Chavi (before marriage) lying/blaming others - its primarily because she's too scared to tell the truth.

Chavi from the start has been the baby of the family and the only girl - therefore she was pampered by her brothers especially Suraj. It came to a point where she took his kindness, generosity for granted and took advantage of it. Be it demanding a certain bag she saw at the market - and making Suraj get it for her to getting Suraj to lobby for her "love marriage" - she's always taken his love for her for granted. While that is bad it's also partly Bhabo's fault too for not ingraining that Suraj doesn't have to do this for you - he does so because he wants too/loves you - she didn't instill that sense of gratitude - which compounded to Chavi's antics.

Speaking of Marriage - lets take a moment to discuss why Chavi wanted to marry Dilip - if anyone recalls Dilip was introduced to Meena's sister Sudha - he mistook Chavi as Sudha and said yes. Initially Chavi didn't have an interest in Dilip however she quickly figured out that marriage is a great way to escape studying - Dilip is educated, well earning he'll take care of her - she'll lead an easy life.

Lets take a step back here - marriage as an escape from studying - sure if she married men like her brothers - business oriented, lesser educated, traditional/conservative background. Technically it makes sense for her to think so - seeing her mother and bhabis. Her plan was pretty good except she miscalculated one crucial part - Dilip's family is not like her family. Even then she could have gotten what she wanted a comfortable life as a housewife - if she'd been able to comprehend that her in laws are nice, loving people.

I don't fault Chavi on this front - she's seen that her mother doesn't treat the bahu's well - everything is always taken the wrong way (everything Sandhya has done - out of respect and love) Sandhya really had to earn Bhabo's love and affection - Chavi clearly can't comprehend that a MIL is caring and does NOT have a hidden agenda.

Chavi is a piece of work - no doubt - but her being this way can't be pinned on her 100% - her whole family is at fault.

Bhabo used to say that a DIL takes her "sanskar" with her to her in laws - that is her identity - and Chavi's "Sanskar" is here for us all to see.

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pyaaribehna

@pyaaribehna

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: GovindaGovinda
I watched today's episode(Jan 27) - Chavi got what she deserved - long over due but I have these thoughts in mind - hope few agree with me
Please do not take me wrong here - I am true believer of one should be responsible for one's actions - so Chaavi is and should be responsible but I also see that few people in Chavi's life are enablers to her behavior:

1. Bhabo - Chavi - her behavior has always been that way - spoiled brat from her childhood - lied about her exam when she failed, Bhabo never even thought one second about her daughter that she may be lying because at that time her concentration is on Sandhya - how to get rid of her - so she overlooked her other children's wrong behavior - Meena, Vikram, Mohit and Chavi
then Sandhya is accepted in to their house but her dream became Bhabo's concentration - how to stop that drem - again she did not pay attention to Chavi when she lied about being caught in the exam - she did not want to believe Sandhya so she believed Chavi

True Bhabho was after Sandy how to make Sandy "stitch" diapers and learn cooking. or how to get rid of her. But was Chavi laadly beti? I wonder. Bhabho is supposed to be "usul se pakki" (whatever that means) but still Chavi was no laadli. She was beti after all. In fact Bhabho did not know about studies and exams so much. All she wanted was for Chavi to "pass" the exam. I think she used Sandy to teach Chavi too. Chavi cheated but Bhabho's usul did not extend right up to exam hall. Is it possilbe Bhabho did not think "cheating" in exams was such a bad thing?

Originally posted by: GovindaGovinda

during Chvi marriage - which mother would keep quiet knowing what her daughter did during the wedding time - lengha incident - never bothered to talk to Chavi - Bhabo was again concentrating on Sandhya - she was so proud of Sandhya to have saved Chavi's marriage - good to feel proued but when did she talk to Chavi about that - never

True. Chavi should have been pulled up for planning lehenga natak but no Sandy saved Chavi on condition she wear the lehenga for marriage after "finding" it . Sandy and Suraj handled this situation. And at that time Chavi's MIL was the person they were scared of. Not the morality of the whole thing. Or breach of trust by Chavi. Chavi escaped so Bhabho never mentioned it.

Originally posted by: GovindaGovinda

2. Sandhya - I know lot of people think that she has golden heart - very good - I agree that she has good heart - but that should not stop her from doing the right thing when it is needed - for instance, Chavi lying about getting caught in the exm - why did she have to keep quiet ?? what was she trying to prove - she encouraged her behavior - same with wedding time - she talked to her but that is not enough for people like chavi

How much can Sandy scold Chavi ? For that matter how much did Sandy scold Meenakshi or Emily or Mohit for anything. She did not have so much "power" when she had she did. But in a household like this where everyone is uneducated or rather even the educated ones are double standard Sandy alone cannot speak up for justice or right or wrong. Can she? Remember the garbage incident?

Originally posted by: GovindaGovinda

3..Finally Mr.Dilip - what is in DBH - we either get 'MAMA'S BOY or HEN PECKED HUSBAND' - first Suraj who has only one song 'my famiy my family mera bhabo mera bhabo' -
Dilip - no words - he should have known or understood how Chavi is when she asked him to hide the lengha - what did he do - he agreed - why ?? after marriage, same - why good men forget think logically - Dilip knows how his mom is - he forgot that in a minute and believed Chavi - so again he has part in her behavior True.
He never tried to analyze the situation - he acted like 'hen pecked husband'

Like I said in the beginning, Chavi is responsible but if she was corrected first time by Bhabo, She would think twice before doing the same -

Chavi is responsible for her actions. But "correcting" her? She did mistakes knowing it is all wrong. And when she was not caught by her MIL for the lehenga incident Bhabho did not care about deceiving part. She must have thought Chavi will reform after this incident. Cheating in exams too Bhabho did not take so seriously. I think for eggshell incident she punished Chavi. That way she was impartial. And Bhabho threw Mohit out for losing his job. And kept Emily.

And then when the whole parivaar except Bhabho, Bbsa Suraj and Sandy are guilty of some or other thing off and on. How much can one punish anyone?

Mohit sabotaged DNA reports, He tried to not marry Emily. Even after marrying he was mean to Emily. Vikram thretened to beat Meenudi so many times. ( the animal inside him is "waking" up) and then Meenudi has done so many things. blowing up Emily's truck, setting fire to godown, hiding money etc. Now Vikram and Meenudi both together have taken thumb print together now VIkram bhaiyya will not throw Meenudi out.

Now as for correcting goes everybody has to be corrected. How difficult it is for even police?

Chavi doing what she did in her in laws house she knows fully well even her mom would punish her for doing these things. But she took advantage of Dileep and his lenient nature and her MIl's good nature and broad mindedness to deceive them. She also made sure no one found out. Except Meena had this unique way of "finding" out her sins. and exposing it.

Chavi has done these things. How is it anyone's fault? They have their limitations too.

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Amni

@amni375

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

U r correct. When you encourage a child's wrong behavior and hide it and don't punish it then the child thinks they can get away with it.

This is what happened to Chavi, Be it Bhabho not making Chavi accountable for the wrongs she did or Sandhya hiding Chavi's mistakes.

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JuhiR

@JuhiR

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

#10

Good post GG and great replies from all.

I will blame Chhavi and her family both for her behavior. Including Sandy, Suraj, BB, Bhabasa. I have not watched this week's episodes. Will catch up this weekend.

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Chavi bad behavior - could it be prevented???

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