Jokes on Bollywood!

Everyday Sunny Leone creates
History...
.
.
.
.
.
.
Then we have to go to 'Settings'
and clear that History!

Preity Zinta launching a tea
brand
"PREE-TEA"
which will fiercely compete with
"NESS-CAFE"
Take your pick - Tea or Coffee!
Alia: Is this Mumbai Metro a
train or a hospital?
Friend: Huh???
Alia: They are saying "Mumbai
metro to start OPERATIONS from
tomorrow"!

Warning:
If you ever receive an email or
message saying "You have won
two free tickets to a Himesh
Reshammiya's movie Xpose",
DO NOT OPEN.
It ACTUALLY contains two free
tickets!

Whenever you feel depressed in
your life, just close your eyes
and think about that director who
has to say "nice shot" to
Tusshar Kapoor!

Subrata Roy calls Sanjay Dutt
asking, "Bhai, Yeh Parole ka Kya
Jugaad hai?

Deepika Padukone: I have more
fans than you!
Alia Bhatt (laughing hysterically)
: You mean, you don't have an
AC!

Mahesh Bhatt: I just saw a 12-
foot snake in the garden.
Alia Bhatt: Dad, don't try to make
me a fool. Snakes don't have
feet!
Teacher: Tell me the name of
any Microsoft Product?
Bunty: MS Excel
Lucky: MS Word
Bittu: MS Powerpoint
.
.
.
.
Alia Bhat after thinking a lot -
MS Dhoni!


Breaking News:
Today Alia Bhatt went to a
dentist because her mobile
phone's 'Bluetooth' was not
working!

Alia Bhatt: Let's go for movie.
Varun: Shit, I've got a doctor's
appointment today.
Alia Bhatt: Just cancel it, tell
him you're sick!


A 100 meter sprint was about to
begin.
The Starter said 1... 2... 3... GO!
Everybody started running
except Alia Bhatt.
Starter: Why didn't you run?
Alia: My number is 4!

Bank Official: We'ready to give
you personal loan without
interest.
Alia Bhatt: If you simply have no
interest, I don't need your bloody
loan!

Alia Bhatt calls the Help Desk to
complain about a computer
problem.
Alia: When I type computer
password, it just shows star star
star star. What's the problem?
Help Desk: Dear lady, those
stars are to protect you, so that
if a person standing behind, he
can't read your password.
Alia : Yeah, but stars appear
even when there is no one
standing behind me!


Dear Kellogs,
Please cast Sonakshi Sinha or
Huma Qureshi or Vidya Balan in
your "Kellogs Challenge ad" and
show us the results.
Casting Deepika Padukone is
really a joke.
Sincerely,
Women


It must be quite an awkward
moment when Bobby Deol's wife
calls him "Bobby Darling"!
Similarities between Uday
Chopra and Armaan Kohli:
1. Sons of producers
2. Can't act
3. All brawn and no brain
4. Douchebags
5. Tanisha

Sunny Leone is joining AAP as
brand ambassador as she has
nothing to hide!

Arvind Kejriwal is the 2nd
fastest person to become CM...
from the date of joining politics.
1st was Anil Kapoor in Nayak!


"Dhoom 3" tickets are priced
900/- at Imax theatres.
Price breakup:
400 Aamir
+ 300 Katrina
+ 150 Aamir's Bike
+ 30 Aamir's Hat
+ 13 Music
+ 5 Abhishek
+ 2 Uday Chopra

Krrish 3 Logic:
Kaal (Vivek Oberoi) is made
from Rohit's (Krrish's father)
DNA.
That's how he is Krrish's
brother.
And Kaya (Kangana Ranaut) is
made from Kaal's and
Chameleon's DNA.
So logically, she is Kaal's
daughter.
Kaya falls in love with Krrish;
but he is his Chacha (Paternal
Uncle)!

( Credit goes to original poster.)

LOL

In Salman khan's DDLJ

Amrish Puri would tell Simran:"Do watever u want to do man".

Babuji leaves Simran's hand n says I challenge you to marry him.

Raj remains a virgin till 45.

In Aamir Khan's DDLJ

train doesn't come on time so he catches the flight being a perfectionist he is

when Bauji refuses to marry Simran with him, he cries and does a SMJ episode to take revenge.

the train halts. because he stands naked on the tracks.

Unlike SRK he would like to pull the Chain to stop running Train n get Simran.

In suraj badjatya's DDLJ, baldev is played by Aloknath. Babuji:"kya kami reh gayi thi mere sanskaro me?"

In Karan Johar's DDLJ..Amrish Puri will make Kuljeet and Raj run with the train, whoever wins will be "Husband of the Year"

In Alia Bhatt's DDLJ, Simran chases and boards the wrong train.

In RGV's DDLJ, SRK sees Kajol, Kajol sees SRK. 20 min of silence. Background music grows - Govinda Govinda Govinda.
Amrish Puri is killed.

In Ashutosh Gowariker's DDLJ - The Climax Train Arrives 4 Hours Late..

In James Cameron's DDLJ, raj will jump out of the train offering his seat to simran.

In Akshay kumar's DDLJ, Simrans dumps Raj After seeing his long teeth.

In Emran hasmi's DDLJ Raj doesnt asks for Simran's hand from her father. He demands a long passionate kiss.

In Rajnikanth's DDLJ Simran runs on the platform, catches a plane and lives happily ever after on Mars.

In Usain Bolt's DDLJ, Simran overtakes the running train and reached next station, found Ajay Devgn and married him.

In Ekta Kapoor's DDLJ track of Raj &
Simran's grandchildren is going on.

( credits to the original poster )

Originally posted by: Sharif.Badmaash

In Salman khan's DDLJ

Amrish Puri would tell Simran:"Do watever u want to do man".

Babuji leaves Simran's hand n says I challenge you to marry him.

Raj remains a virgin till 45.

In Aamir Khan's DDLJ

train doesn't come on time so he catches the flight being a perfectionist he is

when Bauji refuses to marry Simran with him, he cries and does a SMJ episode to take revenge.

the train halts. because he stands naked on the tracks.

Unlike SRK he would like to pull the Chain to stop running Train n get Simran.

In suraj badjatya's DDLJ, baldev is played by Aloknath. Babuji:"kya kami reh gayi thi mere sanskaro me?"

In Karan Johar's DDLJ..Amrish Puri will make Kuljeet and Raj run with the train, whoever wins will be "Husband of the Year"

In Alia Bhatt's DDLJ, Simran chases and boards the wrong train.

In RGV's DDLJ, SRK sees Kajol, Kajol sees SRK. 20 min of silence. Background music grows - Govinda Govinda Govinda.
Amrish Puri is killed.

In Ashutosh Gowariker's DDLJ - The Climax Train Arrives 4 Hours Late..

In James Cameron's DDLJ, raj will jump out of the train offering his seat to simran.

In Akshay kumar's DDLJ, Simrans dumps Raj After seeing his long teeth.

In Emran hasmi's DDLJ Raj doesnt asks for Simran's hand from her father. He demands a long passionate kiss.

In Rajnikanth's DDLJ Simran runs on the platform, catches a plane and lives happily ever after on Mars.

In Usain Bolt's DDLJ, Simran overtakes the running train and reached next station, found Ajay Devgn and married him.

In Ekta Kapoor's DDLJ track of Raj &
Simran's grandchildren is going on.

( credits to the original poster )

wonderful jokes..Alia bhatt ones as well as DDLJ

Beauty's only skin deep 😉