The whole world was in utter chaos, that it badly needed a strong,seminude guide. Gullu baba made it his life mission to wander shirtless, to vouchsafe his unsolicited advice, interfere and pass constant caustic observations for greater good of humanity.
It came as a shock to Gullu baba when his harsh, insulting and unremitting endeavours to change and criticise the world met with resistance and he turned out to be the least popular amongst his school friends. His friends started avoiding him.
The world always gave him cold stares and cold shoulder but the bathroom always greeted him warmly with warm water. The world could not tolerate the tiniest of his criticisms but the bathroom's open-lid toilet was always ready to accept even the foulest contents of his innards.
The world forced him the confinements of clothes, but the bathroom gave him complete freedom,shortly transporting him on to Wreck Beach of Canada without visa.The world was relentlessly noisy, the bathroom offered unimagined depths of silence, occasionally punctured by spurts of loud, ineffable,rumbling noises emanating from his self.
Gullu baba, a firm believer of principle of conservation of mass always carried a big jar of Nutella while going to toilet to keep the mass in his gut intact.
Ramanujan imagined the world as numbers, Gullu baba imagined the world as a giant toilet bowl with human beings as droppings of creator. SOme droppings float on life water while some sink and some sticky ones cling to the bowl. The constant background flush cleans out the sunken dregs making way for new droppings.
He shared his radical mini-Geeta gyaan with his school teacher and school mates in the hope of being made a school monitor but the teacher felt insulted with his unflattering comparisons and punished him, denying him even the non-existent post of assistant monitor.
The world was not ready for his thinking just the way it was not prepared for Aristotle and Copernicus. Gullu baba cried helplessly in the school bathroom. He scribbled his inner conflicts and vitriolic comments on those dilapidated, damp walls of tiny toilet. Unfortunately, his compilations were not preserved. Few years later, the school was renovated and the world lost the literary gem of Shakesperean stature.
Gullu baba's obsession for bathroom now reached a new height and he started giving his girl friends large can of Harpic, bathroom freshner and expensive set of toilet accessories as birthday/valentine gift. While his girl friend craved for a sumptuous punjabi food for romantic dinner, he suggested gentle salad dressings to minimise sufferings of toilet bowl.
Gullu baba could feel the silent pain of inanimate bathroom objects similar to Dr Jagdish Bose could feel the plants. He advocates the use of Nutella for dinner as the toilet bowl has revealed its sweet tooth to him.
Gullu baba was waiting for that sweetheart who could share his love for bathroom. He finally met Diandra who showed him some other dimension of bathroom hitherto unknown to the world.
Gullu baba's bathroomleela is the most influential event of this century since internet. His bathroomleela provided cost effective, alternate solution for many college couples who were constantly harassed by peanut vendors and cops in the park.
Instead of building houses, the builders around the globe are now building huge bathrooms fully equipped with kitchen, bedroo, drawing room and terrace.
The congress party received Pooja Mishra's "Talk to my hand" in current elections and hence want to change hand symbol to bathroom to cash in on Gullu baba's popularity and renewed interest of the nation in bathroom.
All toilet lids can now be converted into the Queen size bed and have a special compartment for Nutella jars.
Like Raghu sauce, Nutella also has started selling a new chunky variety for bathroom lovers.
Gullu Baba ki Jai Ho.