my first os- injecting love

Heya ppl..
Since almost no one knows me here therefore I ll start with my intro.
The name's dubey, shivangi dubey..
I m not at all a writer but I guess it is hard to resist when you are surrounded by whole lot of awesome writers..
Since sandhir relationship is almost on the verge of break up... So thought of posting this... This is something completely different...
I had written it almost 6 months ago but cud not find the courage to post it..
Here u go-
Injecting love...
They had been in a relationship for 6 years n wid each passing day their luv multiplied...
Each tym he saw her he fell in luv wid her all over again..
Each tym he saw her tending to his wounds he felt lyk grabbing her an pouring a no. of wild passionate smooches on her...
Yes. ... Randhir crazily luvd sanyukta n she reciprocated a hundred times more..
Randhir smiled as old memories came flooding into his mind...
6 yrs bak, fite mech lab-
Randhir n sanyukta were working on the same table...
Suddenly -
Aaa aaa aaacheee!!!!
R- excuse me...
S- excused
Again... Aaacheee!!!
Before Rd cud say anything..
S- xcusd again..
The frequency of the sneezes increased so did the irritation of the dream team..
Vidushi- wat da hell do u think u r doing Rd????? Stop it...
Its irritatin the hell outta me.
Rd- arey...(achee.)u think (achee..) I m doin it intentionally??? (Achee..) U think I m enjoining it??? (Achee..)
V- whatever!!! Js get da hell outta here...
S-( b4 Rd cud say anything)- hey.. Go easy on the " hells" Vidushi..
If u continue sending ppl 2 hell at dis rate... Den there will be no space left for u dear..
So watch out!!! She spoke wid anger and sarcasm dripping from each word she spoke..
Rd was amazd..( in mind) - y is she speaking for me???
Does she..?????
He quickly brushed aside the thoughts n concentrated on the task at hand... I.e. Controlling the sneezes..
S- ( in mind) - ye Rd ko Ho kya gya hai??? Itni sneezing ???? He shud c a doc.. Wat if its sum thing serious??? I ll talk to him..
In the corridor -
K- sanyukta when is the confession coming???
S- I m telling dis for the umpteenth time kaustu, I ll never tell him how much I love him... Wat if he goes back to that arrogant mcp mode????
No ways yaarr, never ever.
She shook her head as she brushed aside the thoughts of him going back to his mcp mode n troubling her lyk he did...
Js den she spotted Rd..
S- Rd wait!!!
R- waaa...cheee. Kya???
S- v ll go 2 a doc at 6.
R- y?? Cause Of this???( he said pointing towards his nose). Nai yarr, not required, not required at all..
S- but Randhir... She said As she saw him walking past her.
Arey ruko to!! Bt he was gone.
S- (in mind)- I know muje kya krna hai... She said as she smiled at her own idea. She mentally patted herself for coming up with such an amazing idea in almost no tym.
In the canteen-
As sanyukta was sitting with her head down on the table Rd went upto her...
Rd- sanyukta wat happened???? R u alright???? Feeling sick or wat????
S- nai Vo... Bs a little headache... N feeling pukish..
Rd-wat da hell!!! Pehle kyu nai btaya??? Dumbo!!!!
Now get up. ( ordering her)
S- y?????
R-(in a no- non sense tone) - coz v r going 2 c a physician .
S-( finding it hard 2 control her smile)- ok , after all her plan was working..
R- (in mind-itni jldi maan gyi???strange..)-ok. I ll get da keys.
At the clinic-
When it was their turn-
Doc - to sanyukta-yes young lady, how can I help you?????
Sanyukta - nai doc Vo muje nai ise ( pointing towards Rd) morning se bahut cheenk ( sneeze) aa rai hai.. Is it something serious???
Now rd's face was something to look at.. He was beyond being shocked , he was confused...
This surely can't be happening.. Hum to yahan sanyukta k liye aye the.. To ???
He saw sanyukta smirking at him.
Doc- turn around.. N take deep breaths.
Ok turn back. Open ur mouth n say aaa, tongue out.
Randhir did as he was told. Annoyance clear on his face.
Doc- here are the medicines. N one injection is required.. The nurse will do the rest.
Randhir stud glued to his spot. It wasn't injection, it was I.N.J.E.C.T.I.O.N . How cud da doctor ask for injections so casually???
R- injections???? Watt?? No. Nooo.
I m not taking any injections..
S- arey?? Kyu injection nai loge?? U ll get better soon.
Randhir gave her oh-u-r-so-dead look.
R- Maine kaha na muje injection nai lgvana. Don't u get that???
S- giv me one reason y????
Now Rd couldn't tell her that injections r his childhood fear. N he dreads them even now. Could he????
R- Maine kaha na muje nai lgvana..
S- but y??
R- kyu Ki muje darr lgta hai.
He gave up.
He expected her to flip out laughing out loudly. But she did something strange.
She held his hand n said- " kuch nai hoga , main hoon na."
Randhir felt all his fears fading away.
Soon the nurse inserted the syringe into his arm n he closed his eys in fear.
To his Astonishment he saw tears falling from from sanyu's eyes..
S-(taking the cotton which the nurse was rubbing at the spot where injection was applied)- bohot dard Ho rha hai???
R- nai to.. But for wat reason on the earth r u crying???
S-nothing.. I m sorry.
Jyada dard Ho to plz tell me Randhir...
She said as pleading him 2 transfer all his pain to her..
Their was something in her eyes which Rd had never seen before..
He saw care in them.
He saw concern in them.
He saw love in them.
N this is wat he wanted to see all his lyf.
Suddenly everything started to make sense.
His getting restless on not seeing her for more than 5 mins. His jealousy on seeing her close to any other guy . His reason - less smile wen she was around. His comfort on seeing her safe whenshe fell off that cliff for that senseless task..
Den it dawned upon him-
Randhir Singh shekhawat was madly n irrevocably n completely n deeply n purely in live wid sanyukta aggarwal. No words cud describe wat he was feeling.
R- (in mind-but does she love me??? Of course she does. Nai to itni concerned thodi na hoti . Vo Teri itni care krti hai Randhir.. She loves you.. N u are a moron that u cud c it before).
Rd (inner voice1) - now that u have realised, tell her idiot!!!
Inner voice 2- of course I will.. But not here in a hospital.
Inner voice 1- u don't have the guts bro..
U ll never tell her.
Inner voice 2- I will.
Inner voice1- u won't.
R-(aloud)- o shut up. U 2...!!!!
Sanyukta rolled her eyes.
R- sanyukta I love you. Do you love me???? .
He blurted without a second thought. He knew he had to tell her n he had to tell her now.
Sanyukta froze.
It took her tym for his words to sink in.
S- Rd ye kya???
R- answer me dammit!!!!
S- ( avoiding his gaze)- Vo Randhir.. Actually main keh rai thi... I wanted to tell...
Rd held her by her shoulder.. " yes or no???"
S- yes.
It was rd's turn to freeze.
R- come again.
S- yes.
Sanyukta had tears in her eyes.
Before she
Could say anything Rd pulled her into a passionate kiss. It wasn't wild or rough.. It was gentle caring n demanding... Rd was conscious not to hurt her..
Then suddenly someone whistled.. N they came out of their trance.
Yes they had kissed in the middle of the hospital.. (lol.. Kiss of love).
Doc - not here love birds.. Go get a room.
Sanyukta went red.
Randhir apologised n they came out of the clinic..
They reached fite in silence.. Js feeling each others presence..
Few days later -
Sandhir were on the fite terrace.. Their new hangout since they were in a relationship.
Randhir was sitting wid his back resting on the wall n legs folded up..
Sanyukta poured coffee for the two of them n handed one to Randhir. She came to sit n rd instantly parted his knees to make room for her. She sat their resting her back against her manly chest. N he placed his chin over her shoulder.
While drinking -
S- Rd , wat made u propose me suddenly?? I mean v were at a clinic.
R- he made her face him.
Sanyukta that day I saw something wich I was craving for...
I wanted love n care all my life...
U gave me that. I knew u would never leave me.. N I m ur priority..
U will b wid me till dea...
He was stopped suddenly as sanyukta placed her lips on his.. She kissed him wildly taking away all his insecurities n he responded wid equal fervour...
I won't leave u even after death.
DONE!!!!
arey!!! Aap to so Gaye...
Utho plz.. Abi to comment or lyk or scrap b krna hai.
This was my first experience with writing..
I m a complete amateur so plz DON'T dare to ignore my mistake plz temme where I m wrong. So that I can improve.
N I hope I ll make some very gud friends through this.
N thanks samridhi di for telling me how to send PMs..
One last thing before leaving.. For my further works which r in the offing, send me buddy request.
Plz lyk/comment /scrap kar k dekho acha lgta hai.
Bye
Regards
Shivangi.

It's really good for the first time. Nice idea.

It was so cute yr
I luved it


Really super
Keep smiling

Originally posted by: Zyra

It's really good for the first time. Nice idea.

But, don't use so much of abbreviations.

Complete words looks much formal and leaves a good impact on the reader.

And I exactly know how it feels after writing a story. *excited*

So, Congratulations!

Keep Writing and Keep Smiling

Zyra.

Thanks
Will definitely keep your advice in mind and follow it.

It was a good first attempt. But when you are writing a story, you should not use so many short forms. It's better to use the full words. :) And please be more careful about punctuation. It may seem insignificant, but it polishes your writing. :)

Coming to the OS, it's good. :) The feelings and emotions of the characters have been described nicely. Your vocabulary is good but it doesn't leave such a great impact due to the abbreviations.

I've been a little critical, but I hope I didn't hurt your feelings. :)

I see a budding writer in you. :) The flaws will get corrected and the rough edges will get polished as you write more.

But it takes guts to post a story for the first time! I was shaking like jelly when I posted my first OS! 😆 That would be an exaggeration, actually. But I was nervous, surely. 😊

Overall, a great first try! 👍🏼 Keep on writing. You'll keep improving each time you write. :)

Best of luck for your future write-ups! 👍🏼

xoxo
Amreen 😉

Originally posted by: Anamika2692001

It was a good first attempt. But when you are writing a story, you should not use so many short forms. It's better to use the full words. :) And please be more careful about punctuation. It may seem insignificant, but it polishes your writing. :)

Coming to the OS, it's good. :) The feelings and emotions of the characters have been described nicely. Your vocabulary is good but it doesn't leave such a great impact due to the abbreviations.

I've been a little critical, but I hope I didn't hurt your feelings. :)

I see a budding writer in you. :) The flaws will get corrected and the rough edges will get polished as you write more.

But it takes guts to post a story for the first time! I was shaking like jelly when I posted my first OS! 😆 That would be an exaggeration, actually. But I was nervous, surely. 😊

Overall, a great first try! 👍🏼 Keep on writing. You'll keep improving each time you write. :)

Best of luck for your future write-ups! 👍🏼

xoxo
Amreen 😉

I luv such comments, appreciating and criticising at the same tym..
No dear u didn't hurt me at all.
I will always keep ur advice in mind..
Thanks a ton..

Originally posted by: Anamika2692001

It was a good first attempt. But when you are writing a story, you should not use so many short forms. It's better to use the full words. :) And please be more careful about punctuation. It may seem insignificant, but it polishes your writing. :)

Coming to the OS, it's good. :) The feelings and emotions of the characters have been described nicely. Your vocabulary is good but it doesn't leave such a great impact due to the abbreviations.

I've been a little critical, but I hope I didn't hurt your feelings. :)

I see a budding writer in you. :) The flaws will get corrected and the rough edges will get polished as you write more.

But it takes guts to post a story for the first time! I was shaking like jelly when I posted my first OS! 😆 That would be an exaggeration, actually. But I was nervous, surely. 😊

Overall, a great first try! 👍🏼 Keep on writing. You'll keep improving each time you write. :)

Best of luck for your future write-ups! 👍🏼

xoxo
Amreen 😉

I love such comments, appreciating and criticising at the same tym.
No dear u didn't hurt me at all.
I will keep your advice in mind forever.
Thanks a ton.

Originally posted by: daringdarlo

I luv such comments, appreciating and criticising at the same tym..
No dear u didn't hurt me at all.
I will always keep ur advice in mind..
Thanks a ton..

You're welcome. 😊

Dat was really sweet os yaar.. amm..to be honest i toh myself is an amateur toh wat can i suggest u... bas keep writing and smiling dear ;-)