Posted:
After reading the article......I've notcied those reprters has left some of the imporant parts out of it....so I decided to cover'em up!😆😃
- Before you even name your show with the K letter, make sure you have a perfect Ekta Kapoor get up done...wear more white salwaar kameezes and black tank tops and skirts...and yes never ever forget to wear the big red tikka on your forehead all the time...except for when you go out to shoot for an interview like Koffe With Karan. You must sleep between the times of 6am and 2pm...and then go to your Production house office and deal with all the issues. Then you have to head out for parties and events and come back home and work on your scripts late at night from 1am till 3am (this way your brain runs out of ideas and thinks of all the ridiculous plots there is and helps your shows get high TRPs) Now that the scripts are ready...think of the title BUT has to be with K and K only... After you have thought of the title, go to the famous astrologer in the industry aka Sunita Menon and take her advice about it...once all that is finalized you go to the channel office and have a board meeting with them Start auditioning actors or like the news paper said...dumb people that can't act yet have the simple middle class looks and the guy must be somewhat toned, fair..with an attitude Before your show goes on air, visit Sidhuvinayak Temple Have a press confrence and say "This is a really different show from all my other shows...and each and every character can relate to all those in reality..it's not a saas-bahu show either" this will make pepole again fall for your trap and watch your show. 3-4 days after your show starts, have journalists interview your actors for more publicity Let couple of months pass by, and then again it's time for publicity...this time..the actors must say bad stuff about you and how you take control of their lives (e.g. Tell them they can't go to any events or any where else where you or your production house are not invited) It's now time for actor issues...you must force an actor or two to leave this show..their characters will be killed and bring back with a new face aka new actors for TRPs Have the actors you kicked out say bad stuff about you first and then say good stuff about you in the coming weeks (e.g. Smriti Irani and Rajeev Khandelwal cases) and then you go ahead and just give ONE comment and that is "All is well now...and there were no isses between him. her and me..it was all rumours" In the show, once almost a year passes by, show the same things you have shown in the past years from all your other shows..make more then one vamp..this will spice things up in the protaginist's life and also boost the TRPs. Don't forget...LAVISHING SETS, CAMERA EFFECTS, TONS OF FAKE YET CLOSE TO REAL JWELLERY and PLENTY OF GLAMAROUS sarees are a must for your serial..have the costumes from places like Santa Cruz or Millionare..and for guys..TONS OF SUITS, JEANS, WIRED HAIR STYLES and at times SHIRTLESS..and yes don't forget he has to suspect his lover/wife and also trust her at the same time...and when time comes, if the story isnt going so well....MAKE THE MALE LOVER NEGATIVE AND HAVE HIM GO AGAINST HIS WIFE and then make him positive again later on. Have the male protaginist marry 10000 times with different ladies...and then have them turn negative when he break off the marraige and goes back to his first love. Remember to have dilaouges like "Tumne mere saath yeh sabh accha nahi kiya Mihir....main tumhe aur tumhare us dau kauri ki middle class ladki ko main barbaad kardoongi...main tum dono ko chayen se nahi jeene doongi" Have jus ONE filmy song as a love background scroe and then turn that ONE song into 100000 diff versions...try it slow motion, fast motion...eve have themes for that ONE SONG...like 100 sad themes...3 happy themes.....5 romantic themes...3-4 themes based on bewaafai times (e.g. Thoda Sa Pyaar Hua Hai..had tons of diff version in Kahiin To Hoga) Have the show start off with a nice huge joint family and then slowly have them turn against each other....WHEN THE MAIN PROTAGINIST ARRIVES that is! So she can waste her time reuniting anf taking the blames for everyone else and solving issues instead of romancing and spending time with her lover/husband. Lastly, make sure when you attend award funtions....DO NOT LOOK RAVISHING @ all....don't brsuh your teeth for 3-4 days so they can have yellow stains all over. Use a mouth wash to fight off bad breath. Make sure u look like you came to the award show from inside a garbage barrell...your hair must be all messed up...NO MAKE UP...just the RED TIKKA on the fore head and the white/black dressing.
- This way you will walk away with most of the awards and so will your cast and crew of your shows making your Proudction house a #1 hit house in the nation.
So there you have it people...if you wanna be a successful television producer...follow these steps and the ones in ther other article....soon you will be another Ekta Kapoor of the nation!😃
😆
Anupamaa
Cricket
