I woke up at the sound of my phone ringing. I squirmed out of my comfy blanket and searched for my cell at the bed stand. I found it after few seconds and grabbed it. I checked the caller ID. It is Abhi. I smiled slowly and got up from the bed. I answered the call and whispered, "Wait." I went inside the bathroom and locked it avoiding any noise.
"Yes, Abhi?" I said to him while sitting on the seating toilet with the lid down.
"Happy 1st Anniversary, baby" he replied. I grinned like an idiot teenager.
"Happy Anniversary to you, too," I said.
"Well, guess where I am right now?" he asked.
"At your bed, where I will be too from tomorrow. You better start learning to share your space. Especially since I only sleep on the right side," I teased.
"We can both sleep on the right side," he said. I blushed just at the thought of us cuddled up on one side.
"And no, you're wrong. I'm at the tea shop that's opposite your house," he continued.
"What?" I asked a little too loud. Usually I would have paused to check if I woke up anyone. But I'm too tensed to care. The last thing I need is my family or anyone in my neighborhood finding out that I've been keeping in touch with Abhi, or I've been in a relationship with him for the past 3 months.
"Are you mad? Go home, Abhi before anyone finds out. It's just a matter of hours. In another 9 hours, I'll be with you for good," I whispered.
"That's exactly why I am here. After these 9 hours, our relationship won't be in secret anymore. Things won't be the same again. It won't be just you and me anymore. I just want to be with you for the next 9 hours where you and I can have things our way. No one burdening us with responsibilities, or reasons with us why we shouldn't be together," he explained and I was kind of caving in. He is right, actually. These past few months have been great because there were no one else interfering or involved in our relationship.
"So, what are you saying?" I sighed already knowing I will agree with whatever he planned.
"Let's go for a drive. Just you and me," he said. I agreed and went back to my room to change. I am wearing grew sweatpants with a shirt that Bulbul stained a long time ago. I was trying to open the closet without any noise and trust me that isn't easy. The closet's door creaked a little and I felt Bulbul moving on the bed. I didn't want to take any risk and grabbed a sweater and a scarf of Bulbul's lying on her chair. For once, I am actually thankful that she is a clutter mess.
I brought my cellphone with me, just in case and managed to get to the front door without waking anyone up. I sneaked out of the house and realized that the whole neighborhood is dark. A few of street lamp posts were not working. It's no news that I've never been out of the house after 10 pm, when the darkness starts taking over. Not that I am afraid of darkness, it's just something I am not comfortable with. Oh, who am I kidding? Yes, I am very much afraid of darkness. And I can't believe even after knowing how afraid I am being at dark places, Abhi wanted to meet me out here.
I headed to tea shop where Abhi mentioned he was waiting. When, I reached there were no one and I started to panic as everything was dark. And somehow being in the dark literally and figuratively, always makes me anxious. Then, I felt two warm hands on my eyes. And the anxiousness that was building up, disappeared just like that. I placed my hands on those hands that belongs to Abhi. I took them and turned to see him standing with a huge smile on his face. He took me in his arms and kissed my forehead, just the way I've always loved.
"Do you even know where we're even going?" I asked because it has been 20 minutes and all we had done is nothing but drive around aimlessly.
"Nope," he answered casually. Sometimes it annoys me, how he's so cool about things. I thought he had a plan. When he said we were going on a drive, I hadn't expected it in literal sense. I could have been in my room sleeping right now. I sighed heavily and leaned on my seat while folding my arms. He turned and smirked. I looked out the window. It is one o'clock and the road is empty. All the shops has been closed. My mind wandered back to when Abhi and I filed for divorce. It was 9 months ago.
Since, we were only married for 3 months, court said that we could live separately but are still married to each other. Only after we are married for a year, the court can grant us the divorce. At that time, we were on each other throats, that 9 months being still married to each other seemed like forks being stabbed into our necks.
I returned back to my home and resumed my work at the college. At first things were difficult for me. I had to put myself back into pieces. Thank god, my mother and sister were very supportive and anchored me back to reality, which means life has to move on. After the whole MMS incident, I decided to walk out of that house. Abhi's daadi and her cousins tried to stop me, but Aakash explained to them, that I need to leave or I will never be happy. I thanked him with a hug and moved out. It was very difficult because the media were all over me, wanting to know why we filed for divorce. Thank god Suresh was there with me, bringing me back and forth from work and home, which helps me dealing with the whole paparazzi thing.
I remembered one day, seeing Abhi's car on the park lot in my college. I blinked my eyes a few times to check if it really was his. And it was. The windows were tinted, so I couldn't for real see who was in it. Curiosity took over me, and I got nearer to see the car's plate number. And I felt someone's hand on my shoulder and turned around. It was Aakash. He gave me a small smile when I looked at him.
"Nice to see you, Bhabi," he said.
"Well, I think we can drop the whole sister-in-law thing. I am not anyone's sister-in-law anymore, remember?" I said lightly.
"Technically, you're still married to my brother, so you still are," he said with the same small smile.
"What do you want, Aakash?" I sighed heavily.
"To meet Daadi. She misses you," he said.
"You know, I can't. I need to move on," I said and walked away before I change my mind.
"Look, I know the attorney said you two should keep at distance, and Bhai is not home right now. He went away for tour. He'll be back next week. Just come to visit Daadi once, please," Aakash said and blocked my way. I took a heavy deep breath knowing I was about to dig my own grave walking back into the torture chamber.
"Pragya, my sweet child," Daadi called me right away I walked into her room. Oh, how I have missed her. Her sweet touch and that small kisses she pecks on my cheek every night. I missed lying on her lap, listening to her favorite old songs and her childhood stories. Without thinking twice, I hugged her tightly. I cried so hard on her shoulders and she ended up soothing me, when it was I who came to console her. I spent hours talking to her, like nothing's changed. I promised her that I will come to visit her whenever I can, knowing that it's a promise I can't keep. I kissed her wrinkled warm cheeks and waved her goodbye. I silently prayed to not bump into Aaliyah or anyone else in that family. I got out of the room and was about to go down the stairs, but stopped when my eyes met the room I used to sleep in. The door was opened and I know that I should walk away, but I just wanted to take a peek for one last time. So, I braced myself and headed to my-his room. I walked in and found Abhi removing his shirt. I wanted to walk away or at least close both of my eyes. But all I did was stood still, looking at him. Whenever Abhi removed his shirt in front of me, I've always turned and looked away. So, this is the first time I am actually really looking at him. And god, he is beautiful. He had these huge muscled shoulders, which I have no idea how I've never realized all this while. His sweats dripped from all the workouts, he had been doing. I can't help but slightly crave to touch his sweats and make a line along his back. Thank god, his back was facing me, instead of the front. The last thing I need is Abhi or anyone catching me snooping in his room. I quickly walked out with silent steps and rushed off to the stairs. I mentally cursed myself for reading too many historical romance novels that brings my imagination to wild and dark places. I was about to put my foot onto one of the stairs, when I felt a hand on my upper arm. I know that touch from anywhere, even through the layer of clothes, I am wearing. I shouldn't have listened to Aakash and return back here, especially when he lied the part about Abhi not being at home. I cringed and turned back to look at Abhi. Thank god, he's shirt is back on.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" he asked surprisingly. But he wasn't angry or mad. I really hope that he hasn't caught me snooping. His voice sounded calm, unlike the last time we met. He swore to never ever see my face again. And so did I. Yet, here we are back again crossing paths.
"I just came to visit Daadi," I said slowly and removed myself from his grip and he let go of me at the same time.
"Good. I mean, I am glad. She's been missing you a lot," he said trying to smile. I looked back with a shocked expression through my thick rimmed spectacles.
"Well, a lot has happen since you've left. I've come to realize I owe you an apology," he said. I didn't say anything but kept staring. Too much to process for me.
"Doesn't change anything. Bye," I said and walked away.
"I would appreciate if you come to visit Daadi often," I heard him saying to me while my back was to him. I didn't say anything in return and went home. I remember lying to Ma about where I have been. I didn't even mention to Suresh the reason I told him that I can manage coming back to home by myself that evening.
And a week later, I found myself back on Mehra's doorstep. If anyone in my family finds out, I'll be in hot soup but it's all worth it. I miss Daadi too, just as much she misses me. As she is still advised to be bedridden after that mild heart-attack, I had to be the one who visits her. I packed her some favorite food of hers that I cooked before I came here. Its weekend and I lied to Ma saying that I have some extra work to be done back at college. Robin opened the door and let me in. I went straight to the kitchen out of habit and unpacked the foods I brought to place them onto a tray.
"Making yourself at home aren't you?" Aaliyah snickered. That's when I realized I shouldn't be here. I should have just handed this to Robin and went to Daadi's room. I took a deep breath and turned to Aaliyah and mumbled an apology. I was about to walk out of the kitchen but she blocked my away. What's up with the Mehra's who are always trying to stop from walking away.
"What do you want, now? Haven't you done enough damage already?" I asked while folding my hands to shield myself. For some unknown reasons she terrifies the hell out of me!
"Yes, but apparently it hasn't worked at all. Look at you, still lurking around," she says with a sarcastic smirk. I didn't say anything. I am just tired with all these plots Aaliyah and Tannu comes up with to put me down. I can't bear anymore drama, so I just wanted to leave the house. Maybe it was a bad idea coming here. I tried to move towards the kitchen's entrance, but she kept getting on my way.
"What is your problem with me?" I shrieked. She didn't move an inch but she stopped smiling. Her face changed and her eyes went sad for a moment. Then, she pulled herself together and gave one of those evil smile again.
"You turned me into an evil psychotic bitch. That's on you. If only that dumb sister of yours and you have never interfered in our life. I would have been with Purab and Tannu would have been with Bhai. And everything would've been right. I would be my Daadi's favorite and only granddaughter and wouldn't need to share her love with someone I loathe," she said in a calm cool voice. The only time I ever seen her break down was when Purab ran away leaving the altar. Other than that, she always seemed to be calm and riding on that high horse of hers.
"What are you talking about? Why can't Abhi with Tannu? We have separated a month ago. He is free to be with whoever he wants. And why on earth would you want to be with a guy who has done nothing but hurt you?" I asked.
"You don't know that!" she shrieked.
"You don't know anything," she continued.
"Maybe. But all I know is that everyone deserved to be loved by someone, even you. And that guy is not Purab because he loves Bulbul. He humiliated you and doesn't accept you for who you really are. I am not going to tell you what to do, but I'm sure you are grown up enough to understand," I said. She quietly moved away and walked out from the kitchen. I sighed in relief and turned to the food that I brought for Daadi. It looks like I have to re-heat them, as it has gone cold. Instead of bothering with calling Robin, I decided to heat them up myself. A minute later, Aaliyah came back. I cursed inwardly. What do I need to do to get her out of my sight?
"Look, the reason I came down was not to taunt you, but to apologize. To be honest, I don't really care if you forgive me, but this is important for Bhai and Daadi. I'm doing this just for them," she said in a cold voice.
"I don't need half-hearted apology," I said while not looking at her.
"Trust me there's no heart or whatsoever in my apology. Like, I said I could care less what you think. All I want is to apologize to your face. Stop being so hard, would you?" she said annoyed. I still refused to look at her.
"Well, come back to me when you mean it," I said in a stern voice. She let out a huge grunt and left the kitchen. I smiled victoriously as I have won this battle.
For about a month, every weekend I've been visiting Daadi and spent some quality time with her. She's been getting better, too. She finally had started walking a few steps, and I am so happy that she's finally improving on her recovery. Apparently, Aakash heard Tannu and Aaliyah talking about destroying some CD which could've proven my innocence. At first, Abhi refused to believe when Aakash told him about it. So Abhi tricked Aaliyah saying that he knew all along about their plan and he is on their side. Fortunately for me at least, Aaliyah fell for it and happily admitted to be the master planner behind all this mess. She confessed everything she did to frame me. Daadi, later fills me in that Aaliyah is not forgiven until she apologizes to me. Till then, she instructed Abhi to not provide Aaliyah with any pocket money.
Now, I get why Aaliyah wants to apologize so badly. She have always been selfish and probably always will be. Daadi never mentioned anything about Tannu, though. That's because she doesn't know the affair between Tannu and him. And she never really mattered to Daadi in the first place. Tannu isn't seen here anymore. And Aaliyah mostly spends time in her room. Without money, there's not much she can do, I think. Tauji and Taiji's family have moved away from the mansion. I don't really ask why, because I don't think it's my business, as I am not part of the family anymore. Abhi on the other hand has been so busy with his music, that I rarely see him here. I am glad he isn't always here. He doesn't really talk to me, but only nod with a smile if we ever bump on each other. I guess there is nothing more for us to say. But sometimes, I find myself looking for him, standing outside his room, and feel a pang of regret in my chest when he's nowhere to be found. And I hate myself for feeling that way.
After what may have seemed like forever, Abhi finally talked to me. It was raining heavily that day and I have to return home, before Ma or anyone suspects. Daadi requested Abhi to send me home, even when there are drivers. She says she doesn't trust them. Somehow, I knew what her ulterior motive behind this, but I didn't say anything.
We didn't say much on the car. I wanted to make small talk, but bit my tongue back as I'm supposed to be angry with him. It was eerily quiet and I was playing with my dupatta absentmindedly.
"How are everyone at home?" he asked breaking the silence.
"Fine. Everyone's fine," I said in a small voice. He nodded and didn't say anything much later.
"Is this how it's going to be after this between us?" I asked nervously.
"Isn't that how it should be? You already broke so many rules, visiting my Daadi. I don't want to make things worse by interacting with you. I know that your lawyer asked you to not meet or have any kind of conversation with me, as it would complicate things further," he said not making eye contact at all.
"We only have 7 months more," I don't know why I said that, but I did.
"Maybe it was bless in disguise, you know. We would have never worked out anyway." I continued. He just nodded.
The rain had stopped and I was about to get of the car, which stopped a little further from my house, for obvious reasons. I put my one feet out, when Abhi slightly touched my arm. I looked back at him.
"I'm sorry for everything. For all the mess Aaliyah and I made," he said. I've never seen this Abhi. I could see the guilt on his face. But then again, he's never been good at hiding emotions. I placed my hand on his hands lightly.
"I know I should do more than just apologize for all my mistake, but it's all I can give to you," he continued but this time looking right at me.
"And I've forgiven you. And also Aaliyah," I smiled. I gave a small squeeze to his hand as reassurance and got off from the car. When, I walked out I realize that I have forgiven them sincerely. Don't ask me why, or how can I be so pathetic forgiving them after everything they did. I am no martyr but I believe everyone deserve a chance at forgiveness. I smiled genuinely for the first time, in a long time and walked into the house.
And just like that Abhi and I became friends. We managed to bury the hatchet and finally get to know one another. Aaliyah and I don't talk to each other. No improvements there. But hey, at least she quit plotting on me and started spending a huge amount time in her room. She doesn't really talk to anyone anymore. Sometimes, I worry about her, but decide not to butt in, as like I said earlier, none of my business. Abhi started picking me up to Daadi's and dropping me back home. Occasionally, we would stop somewhere quiet and chat. Of course, Daadi has no idea about it. We are not getting back together, and we were afraid that she would start getting her hopes up. And miraculously I have managed to keep my whole family in the dark about the Mehra's.
There were so many things I've come to learn about Abhi that I didn't know before. We mostly share our childhood stories and laugh at our silliness. Mine was mostly about Bulbul being mischievous. Abhi teases that I'm such a goody-two-shoe. And just like without realizing Abhi and I fell in love with each other. It wasn't something like where we got up one morning and realized that we were in love. It just happened beyond our control. I know I claimed to have been in love with him before. But I came to realize this is how I always wanted love to feel. Healthy, calm and mostly right. I don't feel guilty at all. Sure, we argue most of the time because of our differences, but that's makes us so special. I know that no one in my family are aware about us but it doesn't matter. It is for the best. I want to be selfish for a while and keep this relationship for myself. When he kissed me for the first time after we confessed our feelings for each other, everything fell into place, and I knew something between us have changed, for good.
"Chashmish, get up," Abhi woke me up.
"What?" I said in a sleepy voice.
"So much for a romantic drive with you," he said in an annoyed voice.
"Sorry, I just worked all night marking the students' papers. Look at my palm caked with red inks," I said and held both my hands out to him.
"Are you still going to work after we're back together?" he asked.
"Why'd you ask that?" I asked back.
"Nothing," he mumbled.
"What? You don't want me to?" I asked.
"It's not that. I just thought it would be too much for you to handle," he said slowly.
"Well, isn't that what you wanted? I remember how you use to rub in my face about Tannu being a career woman and independent. So what's wrong if I am?" I snapped. As soon as I said, I wished I could take it back. Tannu is a sore spot for Abhi. It took a lot for him to get over her and her betrayal. He broke up with her months ago, yet he cringes every time her name is brought up.
"Sorry," I muttered. He looked at me and gave me a small smile.
"You're never ever letting me off the hook with that aren't you?" he smirked.
"Depends," I said.
"You're right. Do what you want. I'll be right here supporting you," he said and took my hand into his. I kissed his cheek to show my gratitude for being so supportive. Then, I felt the salty breeze on my face. I could fell the beach's smell all over. I realized we were on the highway.
"Abhi, where are we going?" I asked.
"To the beach," he said flatly.
"Is it what I think it is?" I asked a little excited.
"Yes, I think you do," he answered while laughing at our Banana's in Pyjamas reference. Looks like we had something in common when we were young. Once Abhi and I discussed when and where the first time we met was. He claimed to have met me in a shopping mall. However, I told him we met first at a beach where he was shooting for some ad. He tried to remember multiple times, but failed miserably. Somehow, that never bothered me. Because what means me to is right now, at this moment. I think he wants to recreate that moment back, that's why he's bring me back to the same beach. He opened the hood of his Porsche convertible car and I could feel the salty and airy breeze all over my face. Abhi looked at me. I remembered his dare. I daringly, stood and leaned against the seat, placing my butt on the head of the seat to stabilize myself. I opened my hands and let the wind pass through my fingers. I could feel my messy and unruly hair flying all over, but it doesn't bother me. Abhi was right. Maybe I should loosen up once in a while and do crazy things. But I only have the courage to do it when Abhi is around. I looked down at him smiling like a foolish teenager. And I do feel so much younger whenever I'm around him. He returned the smile. I screamed as loud till my throat hurts and laughed like I'm a crazy hipster, knowing there was no one around. Abhi joined in screaming at me. And just like that, I am not worried about tomorrow. Because I know the best is yet to come. All I have to do is live in the moment.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING. I KNOW IT WAS PRETTY BLAH. I JUST COULDN'T WRITE ANYTHING PASSIONATE RIGHT NOW ( AS I AM PRETTY PRUDEđ )!
P.S. The part where Pragya snooping on Abhi is credited to Tia. She mentioned many times why Pragya has never looked at Abhi and admired his physicality. It isn't much but the idea came because of her.
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