-||VidArth TS: Mine Forever {Dark}||-

foreverhers thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 10 years ago
#1

Ola girls!!!

This is Keya here...Remember me?

I'm here with a new fiction to celebrate the one year anniversary of our beloved Sadda Haq and to prove myself to my two mentors, Ash and Annie. This is my first TS and my first attempt with Dark genre.

This one is dedicated to Annie and Ash for provoking me and bringing out the darker side of mine. I also convey my heartfelt gratitude to Moony moon di, Hippy di and Aimy for permitting me to write this OS...


---}}}>>>O<<<{{{---




-MINE FOREVER-



GENRE: DARK ROMANCE, SADISM


Her once shimmering orbs watched inanimately as a droplet of water drizzled down the sleek glass pane of one of her apartment windows before converging with its mate and in due course glutting the streets. A bead of moisture made its way past her striking kohl lined left eye smudging her mascara, then trailing a lone indefinite path down her cheek it lost its individuality as scores of tears coupled concomitantly.

"The city of Roorkie is facing torrential downpour accompanied by potent gales. Due to flooding a large number of road and rail networks have been blocked disrupting the normal functioning of this small town. As of now, this unanticipated detrimental cloudburst has caused a huge damage to property and claimed 8 lives. People are kindly requested to not go out---"

The sudden electricity blackout got her attention as she finally came out of her reverie. How long had she been spacing out? She peeked out of the window and sighed. DARKNESS. The archetypal hustle bustle of the usually radiant and brimming city was now eclipsed by darkness. She felt lonely, the blaring noise of the rain piercing the silence her sole companion. It seemed as if the nature was mourning her loss, sympathizing with her; her heart was in ruins and so was her immediate environment.



The scene continuously played in her mind like a broken recorder, shattering her further. She had seen him with that girl, felt his desire as he caressed HER right cheek with his left thumb and witnessed his love as he kissed HER forehead. Earlier that day, she had gone out with Sanyukta to a nearby mall. She was a bit upset with Varun, her ex-husband, due to his continuous interference in her life. To perk up her mood Sanyukta had insisted to accompany her for shopping and help her with selection of bridal dress for her engagement with Randhir. Yes, Randhir and Sanyukta were finally tying knot and concluding their eternal love saga. She was having a gala time with Sanyukta when the mind-numbing sight infront of her took her breath away and her heart stopped beating. There he stood embracing that other woman infront of a multiplex, oblivious to her presence as she witnessed, heart-broken, their little act of affection. She had been deceived once by the one she relied on the most but then she was only a kid, yet keeping her heart at stake she trusted him. She had welcomed the faint ray of light with open hands but she was deceived and pushed back into the deep abyss of darkness.



Wiping the last trace of her tears, she gathered the remnants of her shattered heart. She masked her broken beyond repair self under the pretence of cold-hearted, self eccentric b***h as her trembling fingers typed the ultimatum.

A gush of new batch of tears blurred her vision as her finger clicked the send button. Though she knew that he knew, yet she messaged him to relieve him.


"I saw you with Arpita today at the mall. I wish you both a very happy life together. I don't want to be a burden anymore. I'm breaking up with you Parth.

-Vidushi"


She knew that he would be sorry for her, maybe even regretful but she'll always cherish those moments of togetherness. She'll always treasure those fleeting minutes of night when he and she coupled as we'.

Bile rose in her and she felt nauseated as flashes of their love making and his betrayal traumatized her. What had she done to face such a fate? In her college days she had irrevocably fallen for him though he had been indifferent then yet she never complained. It was during the fourth year, when her past came haunting her, he stood by her side. A chain of events followed bringing them closer, filling the void in her life, changing her. Then finally on one particular rainy night they confessed and made love, or so she thought. She had trusted him blindly and had lost her virginity to him. She told him everything of her past yet he told her nothing. He knew her inside out yet she knew nothing.

Despite everything she still could not help but love him even now and it irked her. Rage coursed through her nerves. Picking up the nearest object in a vile grip she threw it across the room, towards the door. A sharp din followed by an ear-piercing crash of glass reverberated making her cringe slightly. Why? Why was it so difficult for her to forget him? She smiled bitterly as she thought about him. He might be busy somewhere with his lady love, getting cozy under the sheets with the storm acting as a catalyst while she was crying her heart out.



A sudden clicking noise caught her attention frightening her.

"Wh-Who is t-there?"

Lightening assaulted the sky partially illuminating her room. Time ceased and she stood rooted as she saw a familiar figure standing infront of her. There stood he, dripping from head to toe and clothes sticking to his masculine frame. But blood froze in her veins as she saw his eyes, blood shot red eyes spitting fire.


"P-Parth!"


---}}}>>>O<<<{{{---


And here I conclude it.

This is what you get when I'm subjected to a boring Botany class followed by a sleepless night. So, if you don't find this one interesting blame it on my teacher.

I know this part is a bit boring. Ok! I admit this part is hell boring... This one is actually the foundation/ building block of the main story which will be revealed in the next and final part.

So stay tuned for the final update.

Constructive criticism is most welcomed.

Click the like button below and don't forget to review it...

Edited by -foreverhers- - 10 years ago

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SheWantsFanfic thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 10 years ago
#2
6:20 in the morning.
I'll unres soonish
unres.
My wifi has been acting up.
I love the dark genre and was so excited to read one from you. Let me tell you that you don't disappoint at all! The fact that you consider me a mentor is the most touching thing anyone has ever said to me. So,just thanks a lot. This made me feel on cloud infinity( nine is not enough!)

The title sounds promising, considering the genre, it's got an almost chill inducing feel. Well used!
For me, dark romance is one of the best genres, Vanilla and fluff are too tame for me. So reading this intense piece packed full of imagery was a delight to the senses.


Her once shimmering orbs watched inanimately as a droplet of water drizzled down the sleek glass pane of one of her apartment windows before converging with its mate and in due course glutting the streets. A bead of moisture made its way past her striking kohl lined left eye smudging her mascara, then trailing a lone indefinite path down her cheek it lost its individuality as scores of tears coupled concomitantly. < use of imagery here is commendable. The reader gets sucked into the protagonist's mood.
"The city of Roorkie is facing torrential downpour accompanied by potent gales. Due to flooding a large number of road and rail networks have been blocked disrupting the normal functioning of this small town. As of now, this unanticipated detrimental cloudburst has caused a huge damage to property and claimed 8 lives. People are kindly requested to not go out---"
The sudden electricity blackout got her attention as she finally came out of her reverie. How long had she been spacing out? She peeked out of the window and sighed. DARKNESS. The archetypal hustle bustle of the usually radiant and brimming city was now eclipsed by darkness. She felt lonely, the blaring noise of the rain piercing the silence her sole companion. It seemed as if the nature was mourning her loss, sympathizing with her; her heart was in ruins and so was her immediate environment.
Again, you have set the atmosphere perfectly, with an eerie, hopeless mode. The words are hardhitting. The nature reflecting her emotional state is a powerful touch!👏

The scene continuously played in her mind like a broken recorder, shattering her further. She had seen him with that girl, felt his desire as he caressed HER right cheek with his left thumb and witnessed his love as he kissed HER forehead. Earlier that day, she had gone out with Sanyukta to a nearby mall. She was a bit upset with Varun, her ex-husband, due to his continuous interference in her life. To perk up her mood Sanyukta had insisted to accompany her for shopping and help her with selection of bridal dress for her engagement with Randhir. Yes, Randhir and Sanyukta were finally tying knot and concluding their eternal love saga. She was having a gala time with Sanyukta when the mind-numbing sight infront of her took her breath away and her heart stopped beating. There he stood embracing that other woman infront of a multiplex, oblivious to her presence as she witnessed, heart-broken, their little act of affection. She had been deceived once by the one she relied on the most but then she was only a kid, yet keeping her heart at stake she trusted him. She had welcomed the faint ray of light with open hands but she was deceived and pushed back into the deep abyss of darkness. I love the inherent irony here. In the show she was always the deciever, the backstabber. I love this irony but also find myself pitying her


Wiping the last trace of her tears, she gathered the remnants of her shattered heart. She masked her broken beyond repair self under the pretence of cold-hearted, self eccentric b***h as her trembling fingers typed the ultimatum.
A gush of new batch of tears blurred her vision as her finger clicked the send button. Though she knew that he knew, yet she messaged him to relieve him.

"I saw you with Arpita today at the mall. I wish you both a very happy life together. I don't want to be a burden anymore. I'm breaking up with you Parth.
-Vidushi"

She knew that he would be sorry for her, maybe even regretful but she'll always cherish those moments of togetherness. She'll always treasure those fleeting minutes of night when he and she coupled as we'. And all hell breaks loose.
Bile rose in her and she felt nauseated as flashes of their love making and his betrayal traumatized her. What had she done to face such a fate? In her college days she had irrevocably fallen for him though he had been indifferent then yet she never complained. It was during the fourth year, when her past came haunting her, he stood by her side. A chain of events followed bringing them closer, filling the void in her life, changing her. Then finally on one particular rainy night they confessed and made love, or so she thought. She had trusted him blindly and had lost her virginity to him. She told him everything of her past yet he told her nothing. He knew her inside out yet she knew nothing.
Despite everything she still could not help but love him even now and it irked her. Rage coursed through her nerves. Picking up the nearest object in a vile grip she threw it across the room, towards the door. A sharp din followed by an ear-piercing crash of glass reverberated making her cringe slightly. Why? Why was it so difficult for her to forget him? She smiled bitterly as she thought about him. He might be busy somewhere with his lady love, getting cozy under the sheets with the storm acting as a catalyst while she was crying her heart out. She feels used. Losing her innocence to him...and having this happen. Pain is tangible. Nice work. Dark is 'slowly seeping into the story.


A sudden clicking noise caught her attention frightening her.
"Wh-Who is t-there?" TBH I got a little frightened myself too. Because this is dark. And
Lightening assaulted the sky partially illuminating her room. Time ceased and she stood rooted as she saw a familiar figure standing infront of her. There stood he, dripping from head to toe and clothes sticking to his masculine frame. But blood froze in her veins as she saw his eyes, blood shot red eyes spitting fire.

"P-Parth!"
So he is here.
I don't know what to expect so I'm sitting here, waiting for the next update!
You have to update soon, my poor heart can't bear the suspense. This was not boring at all, but a firm foundation, a slow call to sin. You have to update sooner.
I love ya Kaaju!!
Edited by Burn_the_Ashes - 10 years ago
Happy_hippy thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#3
Res...
I'll unres in the evening..
So excited to read it!!!😊
IndianFariyTale thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#4
👏I love how you've described Vidu's pain . And an angry Parth , is a fun one in my opinion. Vidushi manages to bring out the unpolished side , all his gentle behaviour gets lost with het
Happy_hippy thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: -foreverhers-

Ola girls!!!

This is Keya here...Remember me?

I'm here with a new fiction to celebrate the one year anniversary of our beloved Sadda Haq and to prove myself to my two mentors, Ash and Annie. This is my first TS and my first attempt with Dark genre.

This one is dedicated to Annie and Ash for provoking me and bringing out the darker side of mine. I also convey my heartfelt gratitude to Moony moon di, Hippy di and Aimy for permitting me to write this OS...



Permitting ??? Oiyee dearie next time if I don't permit you to write , do jab that pen in my eye!! 😆

Just kidding, love u for writing this TS..

---}}}>>>O<<<{{{---




-MINE FOREVER-



GENRE: DARK ROMANCE, SADISM


Her once shimmering orbs watched inanimately as a droplet of water drizzled down the sleek glass pane of one of her apartment windows before converging with its mate and in due course glutting the streets. A bead of moisture made its way past her striking kohl lined left eye smudging her mascara, then trailing a lone indefinite path down her cheek it lost its individuality as scores of tears coupled concomitantly.



Oh beautiful, loved the way u have described her crying.,wat beautiful use of words..



"The city of Roorkie is facing torrential downpour accompanied by potent gales. Due to flooding a large number of road and rail networks have been blocked disrupting the normal functioning of this small town. As of now, this unanticipated detrimental cloudburst has caused a huge damage to property and claimed 8 lives. People are kindly requested to not go out---"

The sudden electricity blackout got her attention as she finally came out of her reverie. How long had she been spacing out? She peeked out of the window and sighed. DARKNESS. The archetypal hustle bustle of the usually radiant and brimming city was now eclipsed by darkness. She felt lonely, the blaring noise of the rain piercing the silence her sole companion. It seemed as if the nature was mourning her loss, sympathizing with her; her heart was in ruins and so was her immediate environment.


I can feel her loneliness in this para..



The scene continuously played in her mind like a broken recorder, shattering her further. She had seen him with that girl, felt his desire as he caressed HER right cheek with his left thumb and witnessed his love as he kissed HER forehead. Earlier that day, she had gone out with Sanyukta to a nearby mall. She was a bit upset with Varun, her ex-husband, due to his continuous interference in her life. To perk up her mood Sanyukta had insisted to accompany her for shopping and help her with selection of bridal dress for her engagement with Randhir. Yes, Randhir and Sanyukta were finally tying knot and concluding their eternal love saga. She was having a gala time with Sanyukta when the mind-numbing sight infront of her took her breath away and her heart stopped beating. There he stood embracing that other woman infront of a multiplex, oblivious to her presence as she witnessed, heart-broken, their little act of affection. She had been deceived once by the one she relied on the most but then she was only a kid, yet keeping her heart at stake she trusted him. She had welcomed the faint ray of light with open hands but she was deceived and pushed back into the deep abyss of darkness.


Ah, poor dearie, when will she get the love she deserves. When??betrayed, yet again...

Wiping the last trace of her tears, she gathered the remnants of her shattered heart. She masked her broken beyond repair self under the pretence of cold-hearted, self eccentric b***h as her trembling fingers typed the ultimatum.

A gush of new batch of tears blurred her vision as her finger clicked the send button. Though she knew that he knew, yet she messaged him to relieve him.


"I saw you with Arpita today at the mall. I wish you both a very happy life together. I don't want to be a burden anymore. I'm breaking up with you Parth.

-Vidushi"



Electronic break up?? Ohhh, ouch!!! That hurts!!Arpita...Aiyooo, Parth back with Arpita..oh no, his papita jaap wil resume now...

She knew that he would be sorry for her, maybe even regretful but she'll always cherish those moments of togetherness. She'll always treasure those fleeting minutes of night when he and she coupled as we'.

Bile rose in her and she felt nauseated as flashes of their love making and his betrayal traumatized her. What had she done to face such a fate? In her college days she had irrevocably fallen for him though he had been indifferent then yet she never complained. It was during the fourth year, when her past came haunting her, he stood by her side. A chain of events followed bringing them closer, filling the void in her life, changing her. Then finally on one particular rainy night they confessed and made love, or so she thought. She had trusted him blindly and had lost her virginity to him. She told him everything of her past yet he told her nothing. He knew her inside out yet she knew nothing.

Despite everything she still could not help but love him even now and it irked her. Rage coursed through her nerves. Picking up the nearest object in a vile grip she threw it across the room, towards the door. A sharp din followed by an ear-piercing crash of glass reverberated making her cringe slightly. Why? Why was it so difficult for her to forget him? She smiled bitterly as she thought about him. He might be busy somewhere with his lady love, getting cozy under the sheets with the storm acting as a catalyst while she was crying her heart out.



A sudden clicking noise caught her attention frightening her.

"Wh-Who is t-there?"

Lightening assaulted the sky partially illuminating her room. Time ceased and she stood rooted as she saw a familiar figure standing infront of her. There stood he, dripping from head to toe and clothes sticking to his masculine frame. But blood froze in her veins as she saw his eyes, blood shot red eyes spitting fire.


"P-Parth!"



Ahhh a cliffie !!! Dude, awesome stuff Man...u rocked it!! Your mentors would be so proud.

Really , I love the way u write.. I am a huge fan of writing that makes the reader fall in love with choice of words along with the story, n u manage to do that so well...keep it up..n continue soon.

Annie, Ash n Keya , u girls have to come up with a kickass collab now...


---}}}>>>O<<<{{{---


And here I conclude it.

This is what you get when I'm subjected to a boring Botany class followed by a sleepless night. So, if you don't find this one interesting blame it on my teacher.

I know this part is a bit boring. Ok! I admit this part is hell boring... This one is actually the foundation/ building block of the main story which will be revealed in the next and final part


Boring?? R u kidding me girl?? This was kickass stuff..pls don't be so modest.



So stay tuned for the final update.

Constructive criticism is most welcomed.

Click the like button below and don't forget to review it...

PhoenixRadar thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 10 years ago
#6
Just logged in and I saw your PM! 😆
Sheesh! So tired. Will read tomorrow, Kaaju!
Have two presentations to prepare for tomorrow.. 😳
Soul_Stirrer thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 10 years ago
#7
Yes dear surely remember you. You are one of the best writers I have ever read on IF. First of all, love u for writing Vidharth TS...they are just too intense😳.
Secondly, your story is amazing as usual. My heart skipped a beat when parth stood in front of her, in all his glory😳. Wonder what he will do now.

Eagerly waiting for part 2😊
dola_cute thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#8
just awesome...! 👏
or choice of words are simply beautiful..
portrayal of vidushi's feelings through your words is applause worthy... 😊
loved it...
eagerly w8ng fr d next part... 😃
ChaiBiskoot thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 10 years ago
#9
talk about creative masterpieces .. u did that with vidarth !
Absolutely in love with the description and the dark side to the characters 😃


foreverhers thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 10 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: a2zahid

WOW! very well written 👏


Thanks a lot for the compliment..<33

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