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You construct your own life after a heartbreak or a loss
With enough time people heal after heart breaks (example, Veer) and the loss of a loved one (example, Pakhi).
By that I do not mean that to move one with one's life "one needs to get busier" so that one feels that times just flies by.
The only way to get over a heart break (I read somewhere) is letting the heart break and then putting it back together. The same holds true when one looses someone dear - mourn the loss then pull yourself together.
To ensure that you get back to living your life after a heart break or loss - one does not have to wait for the pieces to some how fall together - instead, one can consciously work to do so.
What does it mean to get over a heartbreak or get over the loss of a loved one?
Some people think that to get over a heartbreak or loss - means it no longer hurts, that you no longer love the other person, or that you once shared is no longer important.
For some it can mean those things, but it does not have to. The key element in "getting over and moving on" is that you can successfully continue with your life - without that person. Success is defined by your perceptions and expectations.
IMO getting over a heartbreak or loss involves 3 important steps. Let us see how Veer and Pakhi fared in these in the final episode:
- Grieving your loss -- --
Veer scored high. Pakhi is still not ready to mourn Anshuman's loss - perhaps she is in denial)
- Creating a new identity for yourself --- ---
Veer has left for Jodhpur and will now begin life anew. Pakhi - will probably fuss over Ayaan and be involved with Rhea too. However if Veer is taking care of the business - I do not know what else she plans to do for herself. If what she said to Lavanya is any indication then she will spend her days and nights - just as she did those 18 years while waiting for Anshuman to come and claim her - indulging in romantic fantasy!
- Committing to your relationship with you --- ---
Since Veer initiated the divorce - I pretty much expect him to focus on his goals and duties to family and friends. Pakhi is still living for Anshuman - she has to decide what she wants to do with herself.
To get over a heartbreak - you have to let your heart break. Veer, as we saw, has let his heart break. He was completely honest with himself. Never for a moment did he think of all he had done for Pakhi -- instead he graciously acknowledged and thanked Pakhi for all she had done for him. He cried because it hurt and he wanted to acknowledge it and let it go. He has begun his healing proces.
Pakhi has yet to mourn the loss of Anshuman - she is resorting to dysfunctional coping mechanism by mentally fantasizing that she is both Anshuman and Pakhi (this is what she told Lavanya), fantasizing that she is always with Anshuman and smiling and interacting with him. Pakhi is not yet ready to face the reality that her heart feels the loss of Anshuman!!
Bade Achche Lagte Hain Naya Season
