Posted:
Alright, so this one needs an explaination which I don't generally do. Today morning, I woke up and the first thing I saw was that the sky was grey and it was raining. Not the gentle kind either. It was full blown rain and I was like "Wow."
And some idiot (cough my brother cough) started playing this song called "Best day of my life" while I was drinking my coffee cold because no electricity and I was too lazy to heat it with the stove.
The irony is: The lyrics of that song are-
My tea's gone cold
I'm wondering why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
And I can't see at all
Even if I could it'd all be grey
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad
All I have on my wall is a Green Day Poster but my brother had a nice laugh looking at my Shit Song matches my life" face.
All in all, I sat down at my laptop and I wanted to write an OS to one of my favourite songs. This is it.
Dedicated to Phoenix Radar, my story discussing buddy who keeps me going on days like this one and puts them into perfect words.
Happy_Hippy, who has stolen my breath with her poetry and keeps inspiring me to be more.
Aimy, who keeps me from having my head in the clouds with her level headed mind and totally gets me.
Moony, one of the most funniest person I have ever met. You light up my life with your words and you challenge me to use my cobwebbed mind. I love you
You guys might hate this, especially Moony and Aimy.
Sorry in advance.
This wouldn't get out of my head.
You can bash me freely for this girls!
Broken Windows to the Soul.
(Or holy shit she's writing in Parth's POV)
Sometimes you have to open those stubborn eyes of yours and see.
Not just look at the things in front of you.
And now that I could see, I couldn't help wanting to do something about it.
Yes, it was in my nature to offer my help everytime I saw someone who needed it, bit even at her weakest, at her breaking point, she holds her chin up and faces the world. But I'm not blind, not anymore and I can see what this is doing to her.
She's not the kind of girl
Who likes to tell the world
About the way she feels about herself
She's a private person, keeping her innermost, prickling thoughts to herself, letting them jab at her skin like needles rather than sharing the pain that she hides in her heart. But that never has justified her prickling words she tosses over her head like they mean nothing. But they mean everything. She's a sheep in a wolf's skin, trying to appear tough when she is at her weakest. Not letting anyone get to her head. Except me.
And him. That bas***d who ruined her life, possibly crushed her dreams and turned her into this girl I know she isn't.
She takes a little time in making up her mind
She doesn't want to fight against the tide
I know she's confused. She tries not to show it but it's written all over her face. Her confusion. It annoys me sometimes. The fact that she "needs some time to think" about the guy who tossed her aside like she meant nothing boils my blood. But then, that's always her. She jumps headfirst into things and she gets hurt. I've seen it happen firsthand. With me. She thinks by "Thinking over it" she can avoid the pain, the hurt.
She's post phoning the inevitable.
She's post phoning the pain.
But that doesn't justify her considering him.
And lately I'm not the only one
I say never trust anyone
She should throw him out of her life. That bas***d has "douche" written all over his face. How can she not see?
Always the one who has to drag her down
Maybe you'll get what you want this time around
Maybe she doesn't want to see, maybe it's still him in her heart, maybe this is what she wants.
I don't know why but the thought hurts.
I don't want her hurt.
And she will be hurt if she chooses him.
Chooses him over whom?
Me.
Can't bear to face the truth
So sick he cannot move
And when it hurts he takes it out on you
But then, why would she want me? Maybe she has lots of happy memories with that douche. All I've done is push her away, hurt her and make her feel like nothing.
What have I done?
And lately I'm not the only one
I say never trust anyone
Always the one who has to drag her down
Maybe you'll get what you want this time around
I want her to be happy. She deserves someone better.
She deserves me.
I'll be the one the needs right now.
I'll be the friend, the helping hand, the confidant.
I'll be anything she wants me to be.
Except a cold indifferent stranger.
I'm in too deep, she's inside my head.
I don't like seeing those tears she hides, those fake smiles when she sees me, the anger on her face when I try to help, the pain behind her words when she asks me why I'm interfering in her personal life.
I don't like how scared it makes me, how insecure it makes me to see her with him, the very thought of him touching her makes me want to rip his arms off.
I hate myself for not telling her what I've been trying to accept myself.
I'm interfering in her personal life because I want to be a part of it just like she's a part of my personal life.
She knows the human heart
And how to read the stars
I make my way to the canteen, she's sitting on her usual table, her eyes fixed on her book as she sneaks small, sideways glances at her silent phone.
I've had it.
I take a seat beside her, she looks up and looks down again.
"I saw you with him. Last night"
Before the alarm on her face turns into anger I quickly add "I was in the lab, I'm not trying to interfere"
She looks at me, her eyes wide and she asks "What do you want Parth?"
You. I want you.
"I want you to be happy, I want to make sure that he's the right person" I manage to say. "I won't interfere if he's the right one" I manage to choke out, glad my words don't shake like my hands are under the table.
Telling her would only confuse her, put more stress on her mind, stress she doesn't need.
"I need to think about this." she sighs.
She slides her plate towards me, a polite smile on her face.
I eat.
And there she is prudent where she was impulsive, confused where she was confident, weak where she was strong, dull where she was so bright that she blinded me. I don't like it.
If eyes are windows to the soul then hers are broken, and I can see through the cracks. She's a scared little girl again. She doesn't know what to make of me. Of Varun, of everything. She is too proud to ask for help.
"What if you don't find him ok?" her voice is a half whisper, her eyes looking into mine, shining like pieces of glass in the sun
"Then I will try to convince you he is not the right one" I say instantly.
"I don't know about him, but you are a good girl and you deserve someone better" Like me
I look at her again, there is a small smile on my face. I don't know if it's my words that did it or if she got the hidden meaning in them.
Now everything's about to fall apart
I won't be the one who's going to let you down
Watching her smile after such a long time makes me feel better.
And what makes it better is that I know why.
I love her. And I will do the best for her.
I pass her the burger and she takes a small bite, looking into my eyes.
She chews and swallows, looking away.
Maybe she's seen into my soul too.
Maybe not.
"Parth?" she whispers
"Yes?" I look into those eyes again
"You don't have to do this for me you know." her eyes are sad
"But I want to" I whisper back "and you can try to stop me all you want but I'll never give up."
Maybe you'll get what you want this time around
I won't be the one who's going to let you down
Maybe you'll get what you want this time around
She's going to be okay.
I'm going to be okay.
We are going to be okay.
And there it ends. I shouldn't be writing such things. I couldn't help it guys.
I'm sorry for this.
Cricket
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Hindi TV Shows
Kumkum Bhagya
